The Orphanage
by Sulhadahne
Summary: A young woman died, but was reborn thanks to an angel named Zack. To pay him back, she must shelter the "fallen angels", Sephiroth, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. Haunted by her own mother's death, will she be able to help Jenova's children? SephirothOC
1. Falling Apart

_**CHAPTER ONE**_

**Take a Breathe, Just Take a Seat, You're Falling Apart, Tearing at the Seams**

When I was a child, I was saved by an angel. My mother would tell me the story almost every day, whenever I cried over a scraped knee or pouted over a lost toy. It was mom's way of saying "be glad you're alive".

Since I was little, I can't remember much of it, so I had to take mom's word for it. If I asked my brother, he'd get fidgety and avoid the subject; Dad just blew me off completely.

So I was saved by an angel. I was seven, a jolly, happy little girl. My mom called me Josey Girl. I don't know why; my name is Samantha. It might've had something to do with the fact I was a lot like my mother's sister, Josey.

Anyway, that day, my brother and I were playing in the street, and to be frank, I was almost hit by a 1990's SUV. But it was then this mystical deity came in the form of a flash of light.

I remember being blind, and flailing about, and my mother's screams. Most of all, I do remember being cradled by warm, strong arms, and then blackness.

Only twelve years later, and I still have my mother's words about the incident engraved in my mind.

_"There was this beautiful light, and a strong flap of wings, and next I knew you were in my arms. It was a miracle, Josey girl."_

Mother died seven years later, and Dad had a heart attack three years after that. My brother moved to the big city, but he still calls me, his little country bumpkin sister. So, I'm alone now.

Sometimes, when I feel really terrible, and I stumble into bed, clutching the sheets and sobbing my heart out, I'll feel a comforting wind floating through the wind I was sure I'd closed. Or maybe I feel a weight on the bed that isn't there, and I'm warm as if there was someone beside me.

Those are the times that prove to me that my angel is real. I don't know who it is. But when I pray to God, I make a special prayer for my angel.

An angel saved my life once.

And to my surprise, an angel would save my life again.

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I wonder what blood tastes like.

Often I find myself randomly wondering about things like this. When I saw the blood flow down my trembling limbs that was what came into my mind. Normal people would fight for their lives when stabbed by a mugger, instead of bothering to wonder whether or not her own blood would tickle the palette, but I suppose I am not normal.

It occurs to me that the knife in my gut really hurts. I suppose I should remove it. So that's what I do once the greedy thief runs off into the night with his spoils.

I am finding it is not so easy to dislodge a kitchen knife from your ribs. Since I don't want to cause more damage, I leave the knife and begin to stumble down the street.

I am beginning to wonder why there are three signs directing me to Parson Street. But I suppose it's the blood loss.

Too late; I collapse against one of the three Parson Street signs (I am not even sure it is Parson St; I can no longer read)

Dying was not really what I had planned on doing today. Well, I guess things don't always go as planned.

I feel a presence nearby, warmth caressing my chilly form. As my lungs heave and burn, I hear the sound of wings.

A voice is floating through the air.

_Damn, girl, one hour off the job, and your already in trouble!_

A chill shivers down my spine. Was it my angel speaking to me?

"I… think I'm going to die" I found myself whispering weakly, my breath leaving me.

_You don't have to._

I'm a little surprised, but I listen.

_A friend of mine is going to die. I want him to live. But he's a bit of a_ fallen_ angel._

My breaths become shallow. I don't think I can see anymore; that, or all the light in the world has gone out.

_If you take care of him, I'll give you a second chance. Who knows; you might like this guy better than me._

The idea is foreign to me. The angel has always been here, for as long as I can remember. But how can I refuse?

"What is… my new angel's… name?"

I whisper my last words as I die. Laughter echoes through my ears very gently. Tiredly, I look to see a tranquil blue light.

"His name is Sephiroth."

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I woke up, and all I could remember was those four words: His name is Sephiroth. I feel for my wound as the memories come flying back; the wound is now a scar. I've never had a scar before. Curious, I look it over. It's so odd and big and strange looking. I suppose my wound was worse than I thought.

So where was Sephiroth? And what was I supposed to do? Why hadn't my angel told me more?

I stumble to the bathroom. I stare at my tired eyes.

I am average. I am ordinary. There is nothing in me that stands out. I am a mole on the porcelain skin of Planet Earth; a disgusting plain girl. I am nothing; no friends, and a brother who lives in a different state. I am nothing.

Dim blue eyes stare back at me with nothing. Dirty blonde hair reflects nothing in the light. Dark tan skin now marked with the car on my left side. My clothes are soaked in blood and sweat.

So I bath, watching the caked blood leave my hair and nail beds. The water is cold, but I like it. I like cold.

I step out and dress in a gray shirt and black sweats. Still, I don't see anyone, much less an angel.

It's when I step downstairs that I know I am in the presence of an angel.

It's unlike anything I'd ever imagined. There are two of them. The door quietly opens to allow them in, and in they step, bathed in light.

One is carried by the other, blood soaked and beaten and bruised, poor soul. He is so beautiful. His hair sparkles and shines a glimmering silver soft and smooth soothing to the touch. How can his skin be so perfect? My body burns with the want to touch him.

I am embarrassed to say he is naked and that seeing him is my first experience of seeing a naked man. But if his face is that of an angel, his masculine form is certainly the same.

As for the angel who held him, I know by instinct he is my angel.

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There was a pregnant silence as my Angel stepped in, letting the one I supposed was Sephiroth lie on my sofa, bleeding all over. I didn't really mind.

I feel so self conscious in his presence, so afraid and intimidated. With disdain, I realized I am crying.

My angel came to me, kissed my forehead, and held me to reassure me.

"Take good care of him, all right?" My Angel's voice was so beautiful.

He backs away, headed back to that beautiful, crystalline light. I find that am reluctant to be left alone.

"Wait" I murmur. "What's your name?"

My Angel chuckles elegantly as he turns to be engulfed in the shimmering light.

"My name is Zack."

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The spell seems to lift once Zack stepped away and the light fades. All was back to normal as I look to Sephiroth. He looks strong… maybe even dangerous.

For the first time I am beginning to wonder what I've gotten myself into.


	2. Not So Tough

_**(the first chapter was in present tense, but all the others will be in past tense)**_

_**CHAPTER TWO**_

**Deep Inside I'm Not as Tough as I Seem, But I Won't Let You Know.**

Today was so strange!

Never before had I ever gone to sleep and awoken filled with such purpose. I had a reason to live now.

I took Sephiroth into my room and cleaned him of the blood and dirt before bandaging him, drying him, and everything else I had to. By the time I was finished I fell asleep on the floor, exhausted.

But I awoke in the morning with newfound purpose. I had a reason to breathe in the morning. Happily skipping down the hall, I remembered that today would be the day I would clean Sephiroth's hair of the blood, sweat, and dirt. But after breakfast.

It was a sunny, yet dreary Friday as I ran barefoot in the cold air and retrieved the mail.

After being honorably discharged from the marines, I have floated through life relying on the monthly checks from the military to live. Literally, I live paycheck to paycheck, receiving little from the novels I write. Yes, I am a novelist, but not a great one.

But I set the payment aside with the bills in the dining room. Quickly, I eat a bagel and a vitamin before running upstairs to tackle today's work.

I loaded a tub with water and soap, grabbed some towels and some rags, and entered my room.

There he was my sleeping angel. My breath paused as I looked at him there, lying in the bed. How could anyone want to hurt such a beautiful being? What could he have done? Even as I think this, there is a sense of intimidation in me; Sephiroth did frighten me.

But he was a beautiful angel when he slept.

Moving in, I placed the bucket beside the bed. For me to clean his blood soaked hair, I would have to sit behind him. So, gently, I took his silken hair into my hands, and tried to lift his head into my lap as I sat. It worked, and I brushed all of his hair to the side of the bed.

He was so beautiful. I wanted to get close to his lips and feel his breath on my cheek. But I controlled myself. Instead, I wet a rag and began stroking his hair.

It was relaxing for me, and I think it was for him, too. He relaxed much more once I began caressing his hair. Slowly his tainted red hair became silver again, smooth to the touch. I gently dried it, and brushed it, until he was finally clean.

With a sigh, I removed his head from my lap, stood, and changed his dressings.

It was already noon by the time I finished and I was depressed at the thought. I enjoyed his silent company. So, I sat myself down on a window sill and watched him.

_He was so beautiful…_

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Late in the evening, I changed his bandages once again. I had spent all the afternoon working on my novel. It was coming along, but it felt so tasteless and dry. I actually felt sick just thinking about it.

Once I finished, I yawned, and tiredly climbed into the other side of the bed. Leaning beside him, I let my eyes shut.

I did not fall asleep immediately. The heat from his body kept me warm, and his breathing was steady and soon I fell asleep…

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I was dreaming. Everything floated and shifted with light and dark, dark and light. Twisting realities and slumbering thoughts coexisting with nightmares and homicides. It wasn't often I dreamed. And I soon realized it wasn't me who was dreaming.

Sephiroth was standing in front of me. A gut feeling told me it was his dream, not mine.

_Why?_

I heard his voice for the first time. Husky, deep, thick and strong. He seemed so sad.

_Mother, why? Please don't leave me!_

Sephiroth fell to his knees, sobbing. Instinctively I sobbed too; I didn't understand my connection with him. Suddenly, his pain was mine, my body and mind bogged down and shaking and electrified with pain. Desperately, I raced to Sephiroth to comfort him, as his anguished cries elevated above and beyond my dream…

My eyes snapped open. Sephiroth was beside me, his voice raised in agony, kicking and screaming as if he'd been stung all over by bees. The poor soul was tearing his wounds open wide, and frantically I gasped and swept over to him, doing all that I could; flinging my body over his, I tried to restrain him as his blood soaked me and his screams killed my eardrums.

He kicked my ribs, and my lord, he was strong. I heard something crack.

"Sephiroth please! I'm here for you, please be okay!"

I struggled to get a hold around his arms, and I don't think I could've if he hadn't been so weakened. Cradling him, I pressed my neck against his forehead, so that he would have a shoulder to cry on. As I murmured to him and tried to soothe him best I could, Sephiroth slowly awoke from his nightmare.

"Sephiroth, please be okay!" I was desperate, sobbing in worry. I didn't notice his screams end, I was so frightened. Sephiroth was breathing heavily on my neck. I realized he was awake and bleeding badly.

"No! Lie down, I'll fix it, I promise!" Scrambling for my medical supplies, I rushed to him. Sephiroth looked dazed, confused, and in pain, just like he was waking from a nightmare, which he was. Before I could tend him, he took firm hold of my wrist.

"You" he murmured, tired and questioning. I was lost in his wonderful eyes; they were brilliant green and cat like as I'd never seen before. Gasping for air, I barely hear Sephiroth's mutters. "You are the one he spoke of?"

I woke back up. "Who?" Sephiroth glowered.

"… Zack."

I remembered Zack all too well. But Sephiroth's wounds were more important. I gave him a pleading look.

"Please, you're hurt." Sephiroth gave me a strange look.

To my surprise, he silently lied back down and let me tend to him.

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Finally he was awake. My heart burst with joy and wonderment; to not be alone, to be needed! To have another life coexist with your own! Is this what fulfillment and contentment feel like?

I haven't spoken to him since my first time doing so. I miss his wonderful voice. Yet, I am content.

I have never felt so real! I have a reason to breathe, something to accomplish, a mission to stick to. Someone who needs me; though I can tell Sephiroth is not the type to say he needs anyone. Who knew being needed could feel so powerful? My legs are shaking, but I feel like I could fly.

That's how my days were. I procrastinated on my writing more and found myself lazing about taking care of Sephiroth instead. I was doing things I didn't know had to be done; dusting, cleaning out the attic, shelving books I never got to reshelf after reading. My house has been a mess forever, I realized, I just never paid attention to it. Thanks to Sephiroth, I actually had a decent house, for once.

Whenever I entered Sephiroth's room, (which was really mine) he would always stare at me, never leaving me with his eyes.

A week passed in beautiful silence.

Silently, I took a tray of food into the bedroom where Sephiroth lay sprawled, deeply thinking silently through every noon and midnight and day. After aiding Sephiroth in sitting up, I handed the tray to him.

His eyes were downcast today, sullen, which I knew meant he was thinking again. I had already decided he thought too much. Those green eyes of his were always full of contemplations and thoughts, as if it were his duty to solve all the mysteries of life.

"Where am I?"

The question came out of the blue and shocked me, and to tell the truth, I didn't know the answer. Could I say, you're in a hick town in Georgia? Or, the United States? Planet earth? What could I say?

Unsure of how to answer, I stumbled upon my words. Sephiroth gazed out the window, seemingly far away. I wonder if he was looking to the sky as if it would tell him were home was. The first star on the right? I laughed at myself.

"This is the Orphanage, isn't it?"

His words snapped me out of my daydreams. I wasn't sure what he meant. It sounded… beautiful; important. The word; "The Orphanage". Like, in a movie, like, Harry Potter; "Hogwarts". It's just one of those mystical words that means so much and represents something so much greater than all of us. What was the Orphanage?

"What do you mean, Sephiroth?" It felt so nice, murmuring his name.

Sephiroth was already finished down with his lunch; he must've wolfed it down, and there wasn't a crumb on him. Adjusting, he gently set his feet on the floor.

"Zack told me there was a place for us. For people who have absolutely no where else to go, but Hell. He called it the Orphanage."

I swallowed and let out the breath I'd been holding.

_The Orphanage…_

"And I am…?" I moved to Sephiroth's side as he attempted to stand. With a groan, the man stood on his feet and I moved to help him. He gave me that look, that warning glare to back off, but I refused to listen to his beautiful eyes. Putting my left arm around his back, the two of us began walking, slowly, steadily.

"I'm not the only one." He murmured the words as if there were curses. "Others will come."

I wasn't sure what he meant, and I wasn't sure I minded. Directing Sephiroth downstairs, I figured fresh air would do him good. Others… people sounded fresh and exciting. Heaven help me, I've had enough bland grayness in my life.

He still hadn't answered my question.

Sephiroth was so strong and cold. His gaze shook me to the core if only because I knew he could read me, as if he knew my every thought. This weird… attachment I had to him was strange; I was as if whenever he looked at me, he knew me, more and more, each time. Did he have psycho powers? I mean, psychic. I laughed.

"I don't know about more people coming, but if others come" I smiled up at the tall man. "I will take care of them."

Sephiroth scowled. "I do not need taken care of."

Laughing quietly, I arrived at the bottom of the stars with him. "No, I don't think you do. But maybe I do – would you take care of me?"

Giving me an incredulous look, Sephiroth frowned. "I care for no one."

My eyes fell upon the warm sunlight the light that tickles the skin and warms the soul. So blinding to look at directly, so soft when reflected upon you. Such a strong, strange beauty.

"Maybe I'm an orphan too. That's what I am; not a caretaker, or something. So, I guess we orphans will have to take care of each other. The two of us, and whoever follows after us, I guess we'll look after one another."

Sephiroth didn't soften, but I could tell he was thinking. That was just like him. I felt like I knew him… somehow…

Maybe I was getting to be able to read him, too.

My free hand reached for the silver door knob. Light streamed through the opening door. I think Sephiroth made a sound. It might've been a groan or murmur of discontent, but I want to hope that perhaps it was a tranquil sigh. I hope so.

"Come on, I think a little Georgia sun will do you good."

_Momma, I'm falling for an angel_

_A lot of people think he's a monster, but I know better_

_He's really beautiful,_

_Momma_

_He taught me how to fly_


	3. Never Knew You

_**CHAPTER THREE**_

**If I Never Knew You, If I Never Felt this Love**

It didn't take long for Fate to prove Sephiroth correct.

The first orphan was a kitten.

So, okay, the kitten probably doesn't really count, but I've always wanted a pet. Never had one, always wanted one. He was a white and black fluffy kitty, with one black eye and one black paw. Sephiroth, annoyed, told me to name it the Annoying Furball. I think he was being sarcastic. It was the first time he'd talked to me since he'd woken up.

Because of that, the little guy was dubbed the Annoying Furball.

Annoying Furball fell right into the routine at home; he would curl up in my lap whenever I lied down to write. When Sephiroth would lie on the sofa to sleep, Furball would wait until he was deep in slumber to approach and curl up next to him. He was a smart kitty.

I found myself watching Sephiroth more, and he was watching me, too. Whenever my eyes met his, my heart became light; I was warning myself not to, but I think I was falling for him.

Tuesday night I got a call.

It was my brother, Jamie, all comfy and cozy in his city home. I didn't tell Jamie about my new guest; a part of me wanted to keep him as my little secret.

"So, how's city life?"

My brother was an architect; he was working on all sorts of projects. I zoned out of his speech about them, his unending successes.

"Well, what about you?"

_Well, my writing sucks, I almost did, I'm living off military payments, and this strange _**beautiful **_angel is glaring daggers at me right now. Anything else?_

"Everything's… fine" I stuck my tongue out at the phone.

Ten minutes later, and the call was finally finished. Sighing dryly, I slammed the phone down and huffed, crossing my arms and falling onto the couch.

"Who was that?" Sephiroth muttered vehemently, glowering at me.

"Just my idiot of a brother."

Without a sound, Sephiroth left the room. I could've sworn that, as soon as the word brother escaped my lips, his eyes softened and the green envy and hate left them… if only a little bit.

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The second orphan came three days later. There was an awe inspiring sunrise that morning; as God's hand flew across the bleak sky, pink dotted its vacant surface, and a rolling thundering red and orange came after. Clouds were soft and small, giving the sky an innocent touch over the blood like screen.

I had been on the roof, sipping coffee in my robe and letting the warm, soft morning air roll over me, when the sound of an anguish groan floated to my ears.

And so the second orphan arrived, a teenage boy barely older than I was when mother died.

He looked like an angel too, crystalline and sparkling, a glorious teenage angel. Silver hair similar to Sephiroth's curled under his chin. His build was small' I could carry him without any trouble into the house and up into the bedroom. Sephiroth was healthy enough to sleep on the sofa, I thought.

"Sephiroth!" I called out. Of course, no answer. I took the boy into my room. As I did, I passed my small office/library where Sephiroth sat reading.

"We've got another orphan, Furball." I smiled to my cat as it left Sephiroth's lap and ran up beside me.

Gently I set the boy down on the bed. He was in rather good condition, but exhausted and malnourished. Nothing a few days of rest and food couldn't fix. Actually, with him being… an "angel" I was sure he'd heal fast.

I was beginning to wonder how these poor angels had become so wounded and hurt. Why would anyone want to hurt them?

As I bandaged the boy, I wondered about Sephiroth.

His eyes were burned into my memory. Green, bright green, neon like the lights of the city, but also bright green like the waters of a marsh. Cat like, stalking his prey with graceful ease; he had the lonely eyes of a wolf, a lone wolf, forever wandering without a pack. Strong, standing tall and on his own. The eyes of a warrior.

In half an hour, I'd bandaged the boy.

Sephiroth stepped into the room, wearing my black slippers, pants, and a baggy black tee that read "Got Beer?" and had been my dad's once. Furball was under his arm.

"His name is Kadaj." Sephiroth muttered, before taking Furball and leaving.

Looking down, I noticed Kadaj stirring.

The household was becoming very strange.

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To my relief, Kadaj was a bit more talkative than Sephiroth, and his eyes, while strong, were innocent, and instead of burning into my soul with fiery strength, they avoided all obstacles with water like wisdom. I loved his eyes.

I learned from Kadaj that he and Sephiroth were brothers.

"Really? Siblings?" Kadaj nodded.

"We are two of many." He began. "My siblings Yazoo and Loz will be here soon."

I smiled at the thought of more friends. Maybe the lone wolf would become part of a pack soon. Well, he would if I could help it!

At first, the youth hadn't totally trusted me. When he awoke, he seemed shocked that I cared for his health. After twenty minutes Kadaj relaxed immensely. I wish Sephiroth would do that.

Later in the day, I assisted Kadaj in walking down to the kitchen; even though I knew Kadaj could probably kick my butt, I felt very comfortable around him, like an older sister would around their younger, but bigger, brother. I'd only known him for a little less than half a day, but I truly adored his personality. I felt so free being around his childish personality; he said what was on his mind, whether it be to sob from stubbing his toe to curse from misplacing something. I'd never been that way.

As we walked down the stairs, I looked to Kadaj.

"How'd you get here?" I asked gently.

Smiling, Kadaj looked to me. "I died… but when I woke up, there was white everywhere. This soft sweet voice was leading me away from the darkness. She… sounded like my mother…" Kadaj's eyes were so light and sweet. I wanted to hug him to death, but if I did, he actually might die.

"Hungry?" I asked as Kadaj gently placed himself at the counter. He was silent for a moment.

"The children of Jenova don't truly need substance, but yes; I guess I am hungry." Kadaj covered his stomach sheepishly as it gurgled.

Giggling, I looked about the kitchen. The pantry wasn't well stocked, and if more orphans were coming, I'd have to stock up. Promising myself I'd shop tomorrow, I began making macaroni.

"So, who's Jenova?" Remembering his words, I was curious.

Kadaj watched me with curious eyes. He seemed so innocent, yet so determined and strong; a contradiction of weakness and strength that as a writer, or simply as a human being, fascinated me.

"Jenova… is my mother. Our mother. She created us, and we must help her, we must make her happy!"

Kadaj's childish angry was showing, his tendency to burst. He seemed so down hearted. Clutching the water glass in his hand tight, he grimaced. "But I failed her."

Gasping, I noticed that the glass in Kadaj's hand was cracking, about to shatter. "That's why I'm here. That's why I'm not with her." Shivering, the boy's last words were whispers. "Mother doesn't want me anymore."

My eyes grew wide with shock and anger. A mother, no longer wanting her child?

"What kind of mother is that?" I breathed absolutely shaken.

The shriek of glass shards shattering hit my ears as Kadaj screamed and lost control, shattering the glass in his hands. He leapt at me, palms bleeding. The glass cut into my throat as he took an iron grip on the delicate skin. His eyes were blazing with anger but dulled with pain. Desperately I wanted to help him, but I also (desperately) wanted to breath.

"Don't – _don't talk about mother that way_." He sobbed, his voice cracking and shaking.

Almost as soon as he'd taken hold of me, cutting my skin with the glass shards in his own hands, Kadaj was violently shoved off me, and a hand was now as his throat. Gasping for breath, I immediately tried to take the glass from my throat, but I ended up ripping the skin instead. Screaming, I clutched my upper shoulder.

A strong hand took hold of my shoulder and firmly pulled me towards a body, and with a grunt I hit Sephiroth's right side. I was gasping for breath, and in shock my hands were resting on Sephiroth's chest. It was an excruciatingly confusing, yet awesomely amazing feeling; to bleed from such a delicate area, in such a painful way, glass and the blood of an angel soaking my neck, and yet also, holding on to such a handsome man as my heart hammered in pain and wonderful bliss.

"She's gone, Kadaj" Sephiroth spat.

_"Shut up!"_

Sephiroth shoved Kadaj into the wall, and he whimpered sobbing and shivering. My heart thumped out of my chest, as thousands of feelings rushed over me like a tsunami.

"Don't hurt him" I hacked. It sounded like I had said _"doon hr hm"_.

Sephiroth's eyes were flashing and powerful. "She's gone, Kadaj! We were nothing to her, do you hear me?!"

The poor teen was hyperventilating, sweating, and cursing, dividing between falling to the floor and crying and reaching for the blade that was at his waist. Kadaj's head fell in somber silence, and Sephiroth's eyes burned into the top of his head. Gently, I pressed my body against his, and my hands tightened their grip as, in agony, I tried to get his attention.

"Plwea, le hm g - g – g" I began coughing blood.

Sephiroth let Kadaj slid to the floor. Turning to face me, he sighed and began taking the glass shards out of my neck.

"I'm sorry, sister, I'm so sorry…" Kadaj sobbed, clutching his temples.

_Sister?_

Once the shards were out, I was still bleeding badly. Whimpering helplessly, I stood, trying not to impede on Sephiroth. I wanted him to care, like I knew Kadaj did; I wanted him to let his eyes show emotions that did not just pertain to being strong.

To my ultimate surprise, Sephiroth placed his hands on my shoulder and bent down.

"_Don't move_."

I certainly wasn't going to.

I gasped in shock when Sephiroth's lips met one of my wounds. So soft and soothing, his full lips caressed the bleeding skin, taking my blood and his brother's blood into his mouth. His tongue darted out over the wound, lapping at my skin and the liquid there, and I was shivering in pleasure and shock. But that was not the most shocking.

_Sephiroth's saliva was healing my wound._

Sephiroth continued to lick and kiss each one, and sure enough, the wounds healed once his lips met them.

How could any mother be so cruel? Just to forget her children. Her beautiful, angelic children…

Sephiroth left me standing their in shock, glass and blood covering my kitchen, and Kadaj, curled up in a corner with tears pouring down his face. I fell to me knees.

Thousands of different thoughts were flying about my mind, as millions of feelings fought one another for precedence in my mind. Blood was the color of my world, and I felt glass the decorations of my kitchen. Kadaj's sobs were my music. My drumming heart added to the beat, and my breathing made a rhythm.

I heard a flap of wings. The light in the room grew stronger, and warmth from an unseen body warmed us as I crawled into Kadaj's open arms. We sobbed together, shaken and confused, hurt and wounded, lost and orphaned. I knew that Zack had come back.

At that moment, as my mind reeled, one thought finally came to the surface as my eyes closed and I rested against Kadaj's chest.

I wondered who was holding Sephiroth as he cried.


	4. Is This the Place?

_**CHAPTER FOUR**_

**Is This the Place We Used to Love? Is This the Place I've Been Dreaming Of?**

When I woke up, I was in a fluffy bed. Snuggling into the warmth of Kadaj's body, my eyes blinked as I began to slowly awaken. The sunlight was warming my skin.

Carefully, I slipped out of Kadaj's hold. As warm as it was, as inviting as it was, it was time to wake up.

What a long day it would be.

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I made sure to prepare Kadaj food before preparing to leave to shop. It might be hours before the boy awoke, so I made a sandwich. I sort of hoped I'd return before he awoke, because otherwise he and Sephiroth might just kill each other.

It occurred to me that Sephiroth might be awake. So, before leaving, I sought him out.

I looked for Sephiroth to tell him were I was going, but he was no where in the house. I did find Furball, but the kitty was no help in finding the dark man.

"Sephiroth?" I murmured.

He was nowhere to be found, so I stepped outside. There he was; training, punching the air and practicing moves, sweat running down his sculpted body. For a moment, I gawked. It was the same as a deer who had unknowingly stepped before the headlights of a semi truck. My mind prayed Sephiroth wouldn't catch me in the act.

He sure as hell did.

Turning, sweat beads on his forehead and flowing over his eyes, he blinked in seemingly slow motion, his eyes burning into me as always. Once again, my mind caught on fire, blazing with feelings and memories I'd never had. Visions and thoughts crashed through my mind in a collision course. Was I burning? Would I die of bliss? Why did this happen to me?

Surely love was not this passionate, confusing flare of insanity that burst in my mind whenever Sephiroth and I came into extreme contact?

I could not answer the question.

Sephiroth smirked daringly, knowing I had all eyes on him. As he sauntered by, I collapsed to my knees, moaning.

Sephiroth laughed as the screen door shut behind him.

"Don't be late"

I had no idea what he meant.

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"Well, if it isn't Missy Novelist, stick up her ass Josey!" I cursed the nickname as I strode through the town streets.

"My name is Samantha." I seethed. The man talking to me was Hunter, the ultimate hick and ugly sore, a bug I've always wanted to squash. And this is coming from a woman who tries to spirit creepy crawlers out of her home, out of harm's way.

Hunter gave me a look with those "I'm better than you – suck it" eyes. I realized Sephiroth's eyes were sort of the same. But his were much stronger, more complex, and much more beautiful. Hunter was just stupid.

"There's been rumors round town that there's a strange man in your house." Hunter snickered, still following me. I rolled my eyes.

"There's a rather strange man standing next to me now. I wish he would go away." Hunter ignored me.

He followed me about the store, but I could ignore me. I needed milk, bread, juice…

"So, what? None of us hick men good enough? You need a city boy?" Hunter tried to stand in my way, but I avoided him.

_Of course you're not good enough for me, swine._

Grabbing some cans of soup, I entered the next aisle.

"Not gonna defend your honor girly?" Hunter spat.

Irritated, I spun to meet him. "Piss off Hunter."

As I strode angrily away from the shocked Hunter, he looked like he'd been slapped. A smirk came to my face. Who knew the quiet girl Samantha would ever stand up for herself?

Certainly not me.

I took my groceries to the check out and Hunter did not follow me.

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As I headed downtown, walking in happiness, I decided to check out the flower store on the corner of Parson's and Weldon. The place I'd been attacked at was nearby.

Sighing, I entered the flower store.

My house was very plain and drab, with no color. With a chuckle, I realized that my life had been that way before Sephiroth. My life was no longer colorless and lifeless. Flowers would certainly fix the house up in the same way.

I stepped into the flower shop and was met with a wonderful aroma. Smiling, I dove into the flowery jungle and began searching.

Easily, I found flowers I liked; white and pink roses, and daffodils. I bought some for the kitchen and some for my office.

Next I looked for flowers for Kadaj. He was childish, and cute in his own angelic way. I bought him some baby's breath.

The third bouquet was a challenge. What to get Sephiroth? I approached the cashier with my question.

"Um, hello? I have a very strange, dark friend. What should I get him?" Sniggering, I followed the cashier.

Quickly, we created a dark, mysterious bouquet, which satisfied me and I paid for everything, making to leave.

My heart leapt out of my chest. I started to shake and sweat, freaking out of my mind. There he was, the man who stabbed me and left me for dead. He stood across the way, his cruel eyes on me.

I ran faster than I ever thought I could.

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It wasn't fast enough. He roughly seized my shoulder and shoved me into a dark alley.

Crying out, I stood to run, but he shoved me back down, and placing his knees on either side of me, glowered.

"I have no fucking clue how the hell you survived, but trust me, you won't this time."

Flower petals were floating everywhere. The bouquets had been roughly pushed aside, sitting in the mud and water. I sobbed.

"Don't make a sound no one in this hick town will save you!"

He reached for my jeans. My mind throbbed with an insane panic and anguished pain, once again on fire with agony and rage instead of happiness. I felt this… pounding in my mind. It was like a heartbeat, going really fast of out fear or rage. It wasn't mine; but it seemed to fit with my heart's beat. It was so strong.

The mugger was violently seized and tossed against the brick wall, and I heard a crack as he slumped to the floor.

"This woman belongs to me. Touch her again, and I will kill you."

It was Sephiroth! His dark husky voice was a blessing for me. Shocked and hyperventilating, I leaned into the safety of his body.

The would-be rapist and murderer (or maybe not – maybe he'd done it before) put his darkening, dangerous eyes on me. My heart thumped hard and loud, and I was so afraid the entire world could hear my weakness. The ironic thing was the only person who could was Sephiroth, who had pulled me up to his chest. He was the only person I would ever want to know my weakness.

Grimacing, the man broke eye contact with me, and I was so surprised that it hadn't been me to break away. Promptly, I began sobbing into Sephiroth's chest as the man stumbled to run away, disappearing into the night.

I as trembled, my soul shaken, and my heart weakened, I realized something.

I had not once felt this way during his first attack against me. I had been strangely detached from the incident. And it was simple why. Before, I had no reason to fight for my life; my colorless, tasteless life. Now, I had so much to be thankful for. I had a cat named Furball, and Kadaj, and … Sephiroth.

Gently pushing away from Sephiroth I bent to the floor. Scooping the ruined bouquets into my hands, I held Sephiroth's out to him.

"H - Here, I – hic – I bought you some flowers." I whimpered. "I t – thought you might – you might – Oh god!" I couldn't finish, I collapsed into his chest.

My trembling hand was covered by his. I felt his chin fall onto the top of my head. A breeze sped through the air when Sephiroth's mighty black wing was released and my eyes first fell upon it. Holding tightly to me, he took to the skies.

Sighing softly into his chest, I fell asleep in the arms of a beautiful, one winged angel as black feathers and dead flower petals wafted through the sky…

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I woke to see two faces leaning over me.

"She's awake!"

"Kadaj, she's awake!"

My first response was to jump out of my skin. Two more silver haired orphans in my house already? Well, I should've known.

One looked sleek and fine, sort of feminine, yet stealthy and sneaky. His eyes twinkled with mystery and darkness.

The other was muscular and manly, with eyes full of strength and power, yet also kindness and happiness. He was like Kadaj in this effect; innocent yet strong.

Groaning, I sat up just as Kadaj ran into the room with a big grin on his face.

"Sister!"

I smiled as Kadaj stood beside the bed trying to fight the urge to hug me. I suppose he figured I was sore. Truly, I felt fine.

"Well, are you going to introduce us, Kadaj?" The long haired one smirked.

"These are my siblings" Kadaj stood. "Yazoo and Loz. Brothers, this is…"

"Samantha" I answered for him.

Loz, the muscular one, grinned and waved. Yazoo nodded politely. Both seemed sort of taken with me, beaming brightly.

"So, can we all you sister?" Loz asked with embarrassment.

My heart swelled with happiness. "Of course."

Loz grinned sheepishly, almost as childish as Kadaj.

The atmosphere changed as Kadaj and the others left, smiling and waving. Kadaj promised to make me lunch.

Sephiroth quietly sauntered in. I had a new found respect for him, as scary as he was; he had saved me. That was three times my life had been saved by an angel; twice by Zack, and now by Sephiroth.

_This woman belongs to me…_

Flushed in the cheeks, I began to wonder what Sephiroth had meant by that as he silently sat on the window sill.

I had this feeling in the back of my mind. It was soothing and gentle. My eyes met his. Were we connected somehow? Was that why he made me feel… strange? Was that what he had meant?

Shyly, I cleared my throat.

"Thank you for saving me." I murmured, daring to meet his eyes.

"It was necessary. I won't let anyone touch what is mine."

My train of thought crashed. "Wait, what?" Chuckling, I saw Sephiroth smirk as he looked back at me.

"You heard me." That was all he said.

I was confused as ever, but I knew I wouldn't get any answers if Sephiroth shut his mouth.

"Where are you from?" I asked. Sephiroth looked back at me. At first, I didn't think he'd answer.

"A place called Gaia."

Nodding, I continued speaking, asking whatever was on my mind.

"Are you four the only brothers in your family?" I asked.

This time, Sephiroth gave me an odd lok. It was strong, maybe not dangerous, but then, maybe it was.

"There are two others, the one you call angel, Zack; he is my brother." Sephiroth seemed to fume. "Also, Cloud Strife." My heart skipped a beat.

_Cloud Strife? I know that name!_


	5. Hero

_Disappearances happen._

_Pain goes phantom._

_Blood stops running and people fade away…_

_There's more I have to say._

_So much more._

_But I've disappeared_.

-Meredith Gray, **_Gray's Anatomy_**

_**CHAPTER FIVE**_

**I'm Just a Man, Not a Hero**

I knew that name. Heavens above, I knew that name! But where? Why was it so familiar to me?

Sephiroth noted my shock and confusion. I felt… pinpricks in the back of my mind. Something was going on but I had no clue what.

"Lunchtime!"

With a childish grin, Kadaj came into the room, followed by Furball. The cat ran to Sephiroth, as always, and he rolled his eyes, but left it alone. Kadaj placed my meal in front of me.

"Thank you" I murmured.

Kadaj beamed. "Your welcome, sister."

Kadaj walked over to Sephiroth and sat beside him and hey began a quiet conversation. As I began eating, I contemplated all that was going on around me.

_Strange things happening to Samantha Wiley:_

**Weird mental feelings**

**Sephiroth's strange behavior**

**Kadaj and the gang calling me sister**

**Me remembering the name "Cloud Strife"**

As I thought, I remembered also that I needed to get back to writing. Though I really didn't want to, I had a deadline.

Once I finished, I stood and set the tray aside. I was very wobbly but I had to get to work.

"Where are you going?" Kadaj asked.

"I have a lot of work to do." I opened the door to step outside.

Once the door opened, I immediately flew backward when Loz and Yazoo burst in, grabbing hold of my arms and throwing me back on the bed. I shrieked in surprise as the two laughed. Sephiroth stood, chuckling with a smirk.

"Did you really think we'd just let you get up now? You're hurt and you're staying in bed." Kadaj smirked.

Loz was snickering his head off and Yazoo spoke to me in his smooth voice. "Sorry, sister." He smiled.

I gawked at them. "Well, you didn't have to do that!" That burst the bubble, and they all laughed. Well, Sephiroth chuckled. It was then I realized Sephiroth never laughed, or smiled. His eyes may light up, or he might chuckle or smirk, but he'd never smile.

I huffed angrily. Grabbing a pillow off my bed, I threw it at Sephiroth. It hit its target directly in the chest, and laughing ceased. My heart skipped a beat. Did I mess up? I held my ground.

Suddenly, my mind burst with a feverish burning sensation, as if were being caressed and held and licked and touched with fervor and love and passion. It was a warm, erupting flame that severed my thoughts, a bomb of feelings I'd never dreamed or imagined or wanted… but I wanted them now. I so wanted them.

Sephiroth's eyes as he looked at me, after I threw the pillow at him, it was as if he'd never been so passionate. His eyes were almost on fire. As if I'd done something to awaken happiness in him. My heart flew.

I felt a pillow slam into my head.

Sitting up, I looked to see Kadaj grinning. Smirking, I grabbed a pillow and thrust it at his head. He dodged easily.

It was then I realized how royally screwed I was. Four angels, one being the ultimate embodiment of my… umm… well, you know.

As Kadaj retrieved the pillow I'd attacked him with, the four of them gave me devilish grins.

I might've lost one of my nine lives that day.

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It was nighttime, and my thoughts were bugging me.

Who was Cloud Strife? And why did my mind give me such fits?

Groaning, I tried to bury my head in my pillow.

I wanted to disappear.

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Ring

Ring

Ring

Click – _Hello, this is the Wiley residence; we are either out or being lazy, leave a message._

Click

_Hey, Sammy, it's me, you're wonderful agent, Crystal, ha-ha! I think I've got a deal for you. Why don't you come over to my house tomorrow? We can have a sleep over! Maybe you'll finally play video games with me, I mean, I think you'll really like Final Fantasy, there's a bunch of awesome stuff…_

Click

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I awoke at four in the morning. Of course, it takes me forever to fall asleep and yet I wake up early.

The first thing I noticed was the beep of the answering machine. Sleepily I pushed the button.

_Hey, Sammy…_

I knew it immediately was my agent, Crystal Meth. Okay, so her name wasn't Crystal Meth, but I call her that because she acts like she's on drugs half the time. She's the only … "friend" I have, other than the angels. Crystal is what you'd call an otaku; don't get her started on that…

I heard the call end and I slammed my head into the pillow.

Time for a visit to the city.

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"Good morning" I greeted o the drowsy inhabitants of my kitchen. Yazoo and Kadaj were drinking coffee with sleepy sighs, but to my surprise, Loz was quite awake.

Kadaj smiled. "Good morning sister!"

Making myself some coffee, I took a seat. "So, how are you guys?"

Yazoo and Loz fidgeted, and Loz's childish grin faded swiftly.

"Mother's gone." Yazoo murmured. Sobs erupted from Loz's throat.

I gulped afraid to say a word. The last time I tried I ended up with glass shards in my neck. The air was almost moist with sadness.

"It's okay" To my surprise, Kadaj lifted his head to his brothers. "We have sister now."

Flushing, I looked to my lap, twiddling my thumbs.

Yazoo smiled and bent to look at me.

"We love you" My heart began to beat faster. "Does that bother you?" The nonchalant way he spoke, the way Yazoo's voice was soft yet strong like the sound of a coming avalanche, the way his sneaky yet twinkling eyes set into mine almost made me burst.

"Don't scare her, brother" Loz chuckled. I looked to him. Loz, perhaps the most childish, yet the physically strongest. Loz, whose eyes burned like the sunrise, blazing with purpose and power and meaning. His rumbling voice, like thunder, made me tremble.

Two more angels had become members of my household. The beauty and strength in the midst of my ugliness and weakness astounded and scared me. I felt like disappearing, yet I never wanted to leave them.

Furball leapt into my lap with a mew, and I woke from my thoughts.

"Are you okay, sister? Tired?" Kadaj mocked gently.

"Overwhelmed?" Yazoo added.

"Finding it hard to breathe?" Loz smiled.

Maybe.

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The sun had come up, and I was depressed I hadn't seen it, but talking to Kadaj and the others had been fun. Intimidating, yet fun. After our talk, Kadaj disappeared into the library and Yazoo and Loz went outside, talking animatedly.

I stepped out onto the front porch, and not to my surprise, there sat Sephiroth. He spent his mornings outside.

"Good morning" I murmured.

"Good morning" I smiled softly at the sound of his voice. I was a bit intimidated, but I stepped up to him and sat down next to him, my cheeks blood red.

The sky was glistening today. It looked like rain. Usually the Georgia sky was sky blue, but today it resembled Sephiroth's eyes.

Sighing, I set my empty cup aside and began putting on my boots.

"I'll be back later" I smiled to Sephiroth.

Before I could come to my senses, I lightly kissed Sephiroth's cheek, and then turned and ran down the pathway.

_If you must cry, then weep and weep_

_Again._

_My shoulder is yours._

_If you have burdens, worry not._

_I will help you to carry them._

_If you have troubles, don't despair._

_I will do my best to help you._

_Just tell me._

_If I must weep, spilling tears from my eyes,_

_Will your shoulder be mine?_

_If I have burdens, must I worry?_

_Or will you help me carry them?_

_If I have troubles, can I rest assured_

_That you will do your best to help me_

_Through them?_

_Or are you not my friend? _

_Written by **ArctheLoveshinyYUME** (check her out)_

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The drive into Atlanta didn't take long, and on the way it rained. My dirty, beat up van didn't take to it well, but I arrived in Atlanta in one piece.

Atlanta held boat loads of memories for me. My mom and I use to go there once a month to shop, sometimes dragging my brother along. Usually it was just mom and me.

We'd spend the day walking about shopping. I'd always beg her to bring me into the book stores, and she didn't mind one bit. I only ever read comic books, like Superman or Batman, but Batman mainly.

When I got older we'd eat out on those nights and look at hot guys. It always interested my mom to know who I thought was attractive. Those were the best nights of my life.

When it rained, like it was right now, we'd dance in the streets and lap it up.

Now that I think about it that was the last night I spent with my mother. We went out to Atlanta; mom bought a ball gown for her anniversary, and she let me try some wine when we got to the restaurant. I spat it out, and mom laughed. My mom died that night.

My mother… I missed her. I still do. Listen to me, sounding like Kadaj.

_She's gone…_

Like Sephiroth said, she's gone.

And like Kadaj said, I have my brothers now.

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I was still soaking wet when Crystal opened the door.

"Sammy!"

Crystal Cummins (or Crystal Meth) reminded me of a hyena. A very beautiful hyena. More like, a gorgeous woman with the laugh of a hyena and the spite and hate of a teenager. I hugged Crystal, and she jumped when I got her wet.

"Hey, Chris"

"How've you been? Come on, let's have fun!"

Shaking my wet body, I stepped in and looked about her apartment. It was what you'd expect for a twenty five year old editor.

"Hungry? I'll make something. Why don't you pick out a movie?"

Smiling, I dropped my bag and walked to the movie shelf.

"Ramen?" She asked.

"Sure"

My eyes skimmed the shelf. One movie was lying out, cover facing up.

My heart froze.

"Sam what do you want to drink?"

Slowly, I reached for the movie, picking it up in my trembling hands.

"Sam?" Crystal reappeared at the doorway.

"What's this?" I asked her, trying to calm down my voice.

Crystal giggled. "Only the greatest movie ever, based off the greatest video game ever!" She hopped back into the kitchen.

"So, what do you want to drink?"

"… Anything…" I whispered trembling. My voice barely made a sound.

"Okay!"

Every part of my brain was screaming. The movie in my hands seemed to intimidate me, shock me, and intrigue me at the same time. It held my answers, I knew. But what if I didn't want the answers? What was truth, and what was the opposite of it? I read the title of the "best movie ever". It was called "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children".

And Sephiroth and Kadaj were on the front cover.

_Things happen._

_We can't explain them. We can't control them. But they do happen._

_Miracles do happen…_

_They happen everyday._

_Just not always when we need them to happen._

Meredith Gray, **_Gray's Anatomy_**


	6. Mine

_**You never change things by fighting the existing reality. **_

_**To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.  
**_

_**- Buckminster Fuller**_

_**CHAPTER SIX**_

**I'm Going Under**

"All right, let's start the movie!"

Crystal prepared the ramen and we ate our fill. I was in a confused daze, and I'm not sure my hyper friend noticed. After she asked me what movie I wanted to watch. To her surprise, I asked if we could watch "Final Fantasy".

"That's fine with me!" She'd said. "Yay!"

So that's how we ended up on the sofa, playing the movie which I had no clue was about.

It began with this red cat guy, and he was running through a canyon. He came up to this cliff and started jumping up the side, and when he got to the top he roared in triumph. Before him was this awesome jungle. Then these Japanese words came up, and I ignored them.

_The Lifestream…_

It was so beautiful, the green flowing energy on the screen. It was almost real. Something in me understood it, as if it was the simplest fact of life. Another part of me couldn't comprehend its life and beauty.

The beginning part of the movie was an explanation. It talked of a company called Shinra, who supported the world "Gaia" with energy. But the energy was taken from the planet.

… _we were taking away from the planet's life?_

It talked of a group called SOLDIER, and a creature named Jenova. And then…

_There was one SOLDIER named Sephiroth, who was better than the rest. But when he learned of the terrible experiments that made him he began to hate Shinra… and slowly, over time… he began to hate everything…_

According to the narrator, Sephiroth had been created by scientific experiments, and finding out about them drove him insane.

Experiments? Insanity? SOLDIER, Shinra?

Grasping the remote, I paused the DVD just as the image of Sephiroth was about to disappear into flames.

"Sam, what…?" Crystal began confused.

"Tell me everything" I whispered. "From the beginning"

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We sat in complete silence. I heard the clock tick the seconds by, and each second passed like an eternity. Neither one of us said a word. I was staring numbly at the TV screen, telling myself that everything would be okay. That I would make sense of all the confusion and mystery and shit dumped into my lap. But there was that little voice in the back of my head, telling me that I was already drowning beneath the waves.

"Sam?" Crystal murmured, gently letting her hand touch my shoulder.

"They're at my house" I managed to whisper.

Crystal looked me over, confused and concerned. She'd never seen me like this before; I was always a calm person. "What do you mean?"

"They're at my house, damn it!" I screamed, beginning to sob. "Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo! Sephiroth! They're at my house!"

Crystal stood in shock and horror. She knew I wasn't kidding; it wasn't often I joked about anything, and I certainly never went to such lengths. I refused to cry in front of people too, and I was breaking that rule. I heard Crystal whimper as she took it in. Trembling in surprise and maybe fear, she curled up next to me.

Crystal had told me everything, from the beginning to meteor. I knew the gist of what happen in FFVII, about how Cloud Strife killed… Sephiroth.

"Are you afraid?" Crystal whispered into my hair.

"Of course. B – But I – I'm most afraid because I love them. A lot." I sobbed. "I love them so much."

Soothing me, Crystal let me cry into her chest. She might've cried a few tears herself; tears of joy. Crystal had and always has been in love with Cloud Strife. That's how I knew his name; from listening to Crystal's fanatical rants about him.

"What will you do now?"

Sniffling, I sat up, staring at the TV. "You know what?" I smiled solemnly and turned to my friend. "I think I'm going to watch a movie."

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Three hours after the movie ended and I was still awake. I couldn't sleep if I wanted to.

Every thought muscle in my brain hurt. I felt like… I was floating in between, that the night around me was a haven from everything that I wouldn't have to deal with the truth for as long as night reigned.

My poor angels.

I wondered if Sephiroth's life had been as empty as mine. But the difference is, I had fulfillment for a while, and now, I have it back.

My poor angels.

I wondered what Zack was thinking. Did he still care for Sephiroth? He must. Was he here, just beyond my reach? No; I hoped he was with the others.

My life had not been turned upside down. My life had been shattered. But that's fine. It had been a nasty, unclean, gray wall of glass, unreflecting and unmoved. Now it was shattered and reflected thousands of different hues in the awe inspiring light.

My poor, monstrous angels.

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I awoke to two faces hovering above me.

"Ah!" I screeched, not being in a good mood first thing in the morning.

"Morning sister!" Loz greeted. Yazoo nodded to me and helped me stand.

"That's the second time you've done that!" I huffed, stumbling on my feet. Yazoo helped steady me.

I looked over Yazoo's shoulder to look at Crystal. She mouthed to me: "You're so lucky!"

Smiling, I greeted her. "Good morning, Chris!"

"Morning!" For a person who hates waking up, she was rather happy and alert. But I knew why of course.

Yawning, I rubbed my eyes and walked over to Crystal, and she promptly threw my bag at me.

"Get dressed" She grinned. "Let's get going!"

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I was dressed in a flash. Eagerly, I wanted to go out and have fun, and forget all the pain and confusion. I wanted to hang with Crystal and Yazoo and Loz, and I wanted to forget for a little. Sure, it wouldn't be real, but would it really be fake?

So, in ten minutes, we were out the door.

"What is this place?" Loz murmured.

I grinned. "Welcome to Atlanta, Georgia!"

**Our Fun Day Part One!**

Crystal and I dragged Yazoo and Loz to the mall department stores.

"Tell me, dear Loz" Yazoo murmured. "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Loz looked Yazoo's black gown over, as he stood in his yellow gown. "Maybe."

Yazoo huffed sarcastically. "Bitch"

"Meanie!" Loz sniffed.

"Here, this one compliments your eyes!" Crystal giggled. Yazoo took the green dress from her, thanked her, and awkwardly hobbled into the dressing room. He wasn't use to walking in heels.

I giggled as he left and took a picture of his awkward hobble with my camera.

Next, we all put our own clothes on and went into the nail salon.

We were all leaning back, having our nails painted. My colleagues all chose black, but I decided to be different and chose green, like Sephiroth's eyes.

"… And I, like, walked in into the party, and she like, totally stole my dress!" Yazoo flagrantly spat out.

"OMG, whore!" Loz gawked.

The spectacle was so fake, it was hilarious. The salon girls laughed their heads off as Yazoo and Loz flirted with them and acted stupid and made total fools of themselves.

Later, we all began throwing pillows at each other in the back room. I hit Loz really hard on the arm, and he pretended to gasp.

"I broke a nail!" He gawked.

Moving on, we decided to check out music.

I scanned the CD racks absentmindedly. Once in a while, I pick something up that I thought the guys might like. Those two were practically glued to the headphones.

Yazoo was at the moment holding the headphones on his ears and bobbing his head, dancing to the music. I looked at the screen and unplugged the headphones.

_"I am Feeling Fine!"_

Crystal squeaked. "L'ArcenCiel!"

Loz began bouncing up and down the aisles, dodging two customers as he pretended to play guitar.

Crystal grinned and ran to the panel. Alice Nine's "Jelly fish" began to play.

Yazoo began spinning, flashing peace signs. Giggling, I ran over to him, and we took hands, and began bouncing in circles.

You know that move guitarists do, when the slide across the floor? Loz attempted to do so, but he ran into Yazoo's legs and mine. We toppled over each other as Crystals' hyena laughter met our ears and customers ducked for cover.

We were kicked out very quickly. As we walked over, Crystal seething, Yazoo grinned evilly and unzipped his jacket. I looked at him. His jacket was full of CDs.

"Arc the Love!" Yazoo grinned.

"Let's play the mannequin game!" Crystal cheered.

Both Yazoo and Loz were lost. So was I.

"Enlighten us, oh strange one" I joked.

"Okay, the game is, we do crazy stuff in a department store, and whenever anybody walks by, we freeze like mannequins!"

I blinked. What the hell kind of game was that? It sounded like something Crystal would make up. I glared at her.

Loz and Yazoo looked at one another. "Okay!" They cheered. I groaned.

"Okay, let's start!" Crystal cheered. We stood in the Macy's clothing department.

"Um, Okay!" Loz turned to Yazoo immediately. "Cluck like a chicken!"

Yazoo blinked. "Are you kidding me?"

"Come on, please?" Crystal begged. Huffing, Yazoo obliged.

We all laughed, and almost immediately someone headed our way. All of us froze, Yazoo in mid cluck, and the three of us in mid laugh.

The man eyed us with confusion and distaste before scurrying away like a rat.

As soon as he was gone, we all laughed. "Did you see the look on his face?" I guffawed.

Turning to Crystal, I asked her for a sharpie. She always had one. Grinning, she handed me one and took a blue one for herself.

Both of us grinned evilly and uncapped the markers turning to Yazoo and Loz.

Scribbling madly, we covered both of their faces. We stopped is mid scribe, when a group of gaggling girls scurried by.

"Done!" Crystal backed up to view our work.

Yazoo had a mustache and goatee along with football markings under his eyes, and a uni brow. His eyebrows curled up evilly.

As for Loz, he had an eye patch, curly q's on his cheeks, and his forehead read "LOSER". The two of us giggled.

(Before anyone sends the authoress hate mail, let me say that Loz is my favorite of the trio and I have had LOSER written on _my_ forehead before. In gym class at school. By my friends cough**meanies**cough)

"Good work!" We complimented each other. Loz and Yazoo turned to see each other.

"Loser! Ha!" Yazoo laughed. Loz gave him the finger, and the two brothers began arguing. They had to stop when an old lady began hobbling by. Let me tell you, that's the longest I've ever stood in one position before. When they resumed a fist fight broke out but the fight paused when two teenage boys walked by.

"Sweet!" They chimed, giving us thumbs ups.

"Nice breasts" One nodded, looking at Crystal with a dumb grin. Crystal looked ready to maim something.

When they left, Crystal decided it was time to move on.

_Dundundundun, dun dun, dundundun!_

Crystal giggled as Loz reached for his cell phone.

_Dundundundun, dun dun – _Click

"Yeah?" Loz looked at me. "Uh huh, we got it. When? Okay, we'll go. Meet us…"

Crystal looked back. Loz explained that Kadaj was going to met them somewhere so we could eat, since he was bored stiff hanging out with that bundle of fun, Sephiroth.

"How about… Arby's?"

Loz told Kadaj to meet us in ten minutes at Arby's, which isn't my favorite place, but it did have good ice cream.

So, there we were in ten minutes. Kadaj came up through the crowd and gave me an enormous bear hug. "You don't know how bored I was!"

"Well, you could've come with us in the first place" Yazoo taunted.

Kadaj pouted. "I was sleepy!" I had to giggle at that one.

We all piled into the restaurant, each shoveling out our money. Kadaj had the foresight to raid my piggy bank at home, but Yazoo and Loz didn't have any money. I paid for Loz, and Crystal said she'd pay for Yazoo.

Luckily for her, Yazoo only wanted some fries and a drink. As for me…

"Um, a number five, and…" I looked to Loz.

I don't think I've ever seen ANYONE order so much. That boy ordered chicken strips, a sandwich, curly fries, a fruit cup, ice cream, and a soda! I barely had enough for me, but luckily I only wanted ice cream.

Loz lumbered out the door with his order. Crystal guffawed. "What are you doing? Feeding an army?" Loz just grinned.

We all went out onto the grass and sat down to eat and talk. I pulled out my camera phone.

Photographs. I think we might've taken thousands of them. Different hues and shades and colors and designs of our lives, formed into the shape of memories.

The corner of Kadaj's face as Crystal tripped with the camera.

My hand as I attempted to cover the screen.

Yazoo and Loz throwing fries at each other; one of them got stuck in Yazoo's hair.

All of us beneath the tree, eating and laughing.

Me with ice cream all over my shirt.

"Aren't they cute?" Crystal cooed as I scrolled through the pictures. She was leaning over my shoulder to look at them.

"I look like a dork" I chuckled.

Yazoo laughed when I turned the camera so everyone could see. "I didn't know that was humanely possible." I threw a French fry at him.

"That must've hurt" Loz added. He got a French fry in the face.

As we finished our late lunch (it was almost five thirty by the time we were done) and packed up, Kadaj and Loz put their arms around my shoulders.

"Sister!" Kadaj sang. "We have a surprise!" I huffed in annoyance and tried to get away. They wouldn't have that.

"What?" I complained playfully. Yazoo came up behind me.

"Big brother's coming!" He grinned. I froze; Kadaj and Loz didn't stop fast enough and fell face first into the dirt.

"What?" Yazoo gave me a devilish grin.

"Tell us!" Crystal ordered.

"You're to meet him tonight" Kadaj smirked.

"On a date" Loz added.

"With Sephiroth" Yazoo grinned. Loz glared at him.

"No, with Rufus Shinra" Yazoo rolled his eyes.

I was trembling. As the brothers bickered, Crystal came up to me.

"Sammy?" She asked. I turned to her.

"Chris, oh, I – I'm screwed!" I sobbed. "We're out of time and, and look – look at me!" Crystal gave me a sympathetic look as she looked to what I was wearing; my father's old "Got beer" tee covered in ice cream; ripped jeans unclean and covered in grass stains. I was screwed.

"Tears won't help you hun" Crystal sighed. She glared daggers at the brothers.

"How dare you wait so long to tell us?" All three of them turned to attention, and when they saw me, became confused and sad.

"Sister, I'm sorry!" Kadaj mumbled, running up and hugging me. Yazoo and Loz followed behind somberly.

"We should've thought ahead, we're sorry" Loz murmured sheepishly.

"I – Its okay, guys" I sniffled. "Let's just get this over with"

1010010100101010101010101010100101010101001010101

"I can't do this"

I felt very stupid. Across the street was the restaurant, not a terribly fancy one, but it wasn't exactly a sports bar either. Actually, it was a bar; a place my mom and I use to go to. And here we were, on the other side of the street, our heads poking out from behind a corner.

Crystal gave me a sympathetic look and for the fifth time in an hour, bonked the brothers over their heads. Growling, Kadaj looked at me.

"Don't worry, Sephiroth will love you! You're beautiful!"

"For a gorilla, maybe" I complained moodily.

There he was, standing on the corner, waiting for me. There he was, tall and elegant, and as couples walked by into the restaurant, the women kept their eyes on him, as their dates wanted more than anything to make him disappear. There he was, my angelic date, the most handsome man I'd ever met; and here I was, on the other side of the street, in a beer shirt covered in ice cream.

He stood in a black tux, with a rose in his hand, only a single, white rose. His hair sparkled in the light as his eyes searched the streets desperately. Did he look… worried? Concerned? Uncertain? Was Sephiroth actually…

UNCONFIDENT?

**Hell will freeze over, I'll become lesbian, Loz and Yazoo will prance through Atlanta naked, Kadaj will become president, and Crystal will finally be taken to a mental hospital before _THAT_ happens!**

I flushed and looked away. Crystal growled.

"Just go have fun!" She insisted. I groaned with exasperation.

Yazoo huffed and tried to push me into the street and into sight. I stood my ground. Sighing, Loz and Yazoo attempted to shove me out there, but I wouldn't budge. The four of them looked to one another, and gave me one monster shoe before finally pushing me into his line of sight. If I hadn't yelped, he might not have seen me.

Every coherent thought disappeared as he strode towards me. His eyes were burning into me, devouring me, overwhelming me. I was about to collapse from the pressure, as I felt like a tsunami roared through my mind. When I opened my eyes, there he was, standing right in front of me. His scent tickled my nose; a crisp, rough forest like scent. The warmth of his body beckoned me; I wanted him to hold me, to keep me warm, and I wanted to cry so badly.

I was being overwhelmed. Why did it keep happening to me? But that time was the worst of them all; it felt as if he was inside of me, and all around me, and everywhere. It was so beautiful, but it was so much, I felt I would die.

Sephiroth looked over my shoulder to the others. They immediately dispersed, but of course, Kadaj and the others had to drag Crystal away.

He looked back down to me. I regained control, and backed away. In shame, I hung my head, and with my arms tried to cover myself. A hand lifted up to my face, and when I tried to back away again, he came towards me, and firmly his hand held on to my chin. I could feel his gaze on me as my heart raced and my emotions got the better of me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to run away.

"I… I'm sorry…" My whisper was hoarse and weak. "I'm so… bad looking."

His deep, husky voice made me tremble. "Bad… looking?" He murmured, elongating the word.

When he began to slowly lean towards me, I felt I would burst. In anticipation, I leaned towards him, though I so wanted to disappear. I heard him chuckle, as he came up, and lightly kissed my cheek. I gasped, as Sephiroth's mouth hovered over my cheek. His lips were so warm and soft, and again, he leaned down and caressed my cheek.

"Sephiroth?" I murmured. He chuckled, and stood, his body still very close to mine. He held up the rose, the beautiful white rose. I stood in awe of it, the lone rose. Lightly, I took hold of it and held it to my chest.

"Thank you" I murmured.

"Come" he whispered into my ear, and gently led me into the restaurant.

0101010101010101001010101001010100101010

The first time I'd entered that restaurant had been with my mother, and we had spent the entire time looking at boys. This time, I had eyes for only one man.

It was like I was in a dream. At any moment, I might awaken in a sweat, with Crystal's face leering down at me.

"How come your dreams are so nice?" She'd complain.

I was a fairy tale princess, all dressed up in my converses and souvenir tee shirt, being escorted by the most handsome, angelic knight.

Of course, he'd once been a murdering madman.

But don't all princes start out as frogs?

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"So, what's your favorite color?" Sephiroth blinked at me. "What?"

"My favorite color?" He mumbled. "Black, I suppose"

"What a surprise" I joked. Playfully, he leered at me. "You?" He asked.

"Um… green" I met his eyes shyly. Of course, he smirked.

"Green?"

"Sure, green" Sephiroth shook his head.

"Okay, um… what do you want to talk about?" Sheepishly, I traded the conversation over to him.

Sephiroth looked at me, his deep eyes examining my face. I could never get use to it, and I blushed furiously.

"Why do you do that?" He wondered, leaning towards me. We were at a circular booth, so he could scoot right over next to me.

I huffed. "Well, uh… why do you do that?" I asked him. Sephiroth looked at me like I was an idiot. "What?"

"Why do I do what?"

"That… thing! You know!" Sephiroth shook his head lightly. "When you look at me; it's like I'm… drowning." I admitted.

Sephiroth's deep laugh resonated through my ears. "Ah, but when I look at you, it's as if you're on fire. Not drowning."

I rolled my eyes. "When you look at me… I blush. End of story."

Sephiroth leaned closer. "Why?"

My blush increased. "Why?" I wondered. "I don't… know…"

Slowly, Sephiroth's hand came up to my cheek. Lightly, the back of his hand rubbed lightly against my skin. I almost moaned, but I covered it with a cough. Sephiroth laughed and moved away.

"I heard that"

My body reacted as soon as he moved away. I followed him. I don't know why; maybe I was cold. Okay, so it probably doesn't have anything to do with being cold. But there I was, scooting back over to him, and I leaned my head against his shoulder, very embarrassed. Sephiroth looked shocked.

"I'm cold… okay?" I mumbled sheepishly. I shivered when Sephiroth lightly chucked against my neck, leaning his head down to me again.

"Of course" he planted a light kiss on my neck. Again, I moaned, I mean, coughed.

0010101010100101010101001101010100101010

"Sephiroth, have you… have you ever loved anyone?"

We were eating dinner, but I wasn't really touching my food. I was staring intently at Sephiroth. He stared at me, and for a moment, I was afraid I'd hurt him.

"Have I … loved anyone?" He murmured. I nodded. "I loved my mother… once. But I suppose, I've only ever loved one person."

"Okay, well you have to make me a promise" I told him. Sephiroth looked up at me. "Promise that from now on you'll love your family."

"My… family?" He murmured.

"Yeah. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. Promise me you'll love them, okay. So that way, if I ever disappear… you'll have each other."

Sephiroth's gaze was so strong. He was looking at me as if I was the only person in the world. At first, I wasn't sure he understood what I'd asked of him. Maybe he had, and he couldn't comprehend it. Sephiroth placed his hand over mine.

"Nothing will ever happen to you" So he had understood my meaning. "But… yes. I will… if it's what you want."

I beamed.

"Thank you, Sephiroth!"

010101010101010101010101001010101001001

As Sephiroth and I stepped out later that night, both content, I leaned against him. "Thank you for such a nice night"

Sephiroth looked down, and squeezing my hand, gave me a small smile. "You're welcome" Flushed, I looked down.

"And thanks for… being nice about me looking so stupid"

Sephiroth did not take my third attempt to apologize for being ugly lightly.

In the time it takes to blink, Sephiroth gently pulled me behind the side of the building, and I felt my back hit the back wall. His arms were on either side of me, and his strong eyes were devouring me again. I was scared; he seemed on fire with passion and even anger.

"What is it with females always judging themselves?" He asked himself with an angry growl. I shrank back, frightened. Sephiroth noticed and calmed himself, and with a sigh, leaned so close to me that he was talking against my cheek.

"You are the most beautiful woman on any and all worlds. You are the one I want, the only one I want" Sephiroth gently placed his cheek against mine. I couldn't believe it; tears rolled down my cheek, but I smiled and leaned into the touch.

"Why?" I murmured. "Why me? We've only known each other for so long"

"Wrong"

Confused, I leaned away, but we were still very close. His eyes were only an inch away from mine, and I for once, did not look away from them. Gently, his hand lifted to my shoulder, tracing the collarbone, and up my neck to my cheek, massaging me. I rubbed my cheek against his hand, sighing contently, as his hand wiped my tears away.

"Have you not once felt as if we've met before? As if there is a connection between us?"

Slowly, it sank in. "We've met before?"

My entire body shivered as Sephiroth's tongue traced my cheek and his chest met mine. "Yes" he whispered heavily and huskily.

We had met? We knew each other?

"Don't trouble yourself over it, Samantha" My heart fluttered when he spoke my name. "Just know this…" I let his arms envelope me as his wing erupted from his back and we took to the skies. "I have claimed you as mine" His breath tickled my ear.

"And soon, I will **_make_** you mine."

_**Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark. **_

_**  
- Anonymous**_


	7. We'll Meet Again

_**CHAPTER SEVEN**_

**We Will Meet Again**

_"How's it look?"_

_Fourteen year old Samantha looked to her left and smirked kindly. "Its fine, mom. You're beautiful." _

_The blonde woman grinned with a slight blush. "You think so?" She turned to the road and continued driving as the skies got darker outside._

_Sam nodded and looked outside the car. "Yeah. All the guys are gonna go nuts."_

_Mom smiled sweetly as she turned onto the bridge. "Sweetie… I'm sorry about the divorce. I don't want to, but it's for the best."_

_Sighing, Sam shook her head. "Mom, I'm fine. I understand. And, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just go home._

_Mom sighed. "I feel bad about just dropping you home so I can go have fun…"_

_"Its not often your friends invite you to go have fun, mom, and I can't drink. I'll be fine… write a little, read a little. You know."_

_With a laugh, mom swept her hair back out of her eyes. "I can get over how mature you are."_

_Sam laughed. _

_"Well, some people just grow faster than others. I mean, I think I might be more mature than you."_

_"Hey, I resent that! I mean, really, when I was –"_

_"**MOM!**"_

_Bright light blinded them, screeches met their ears as the car spun out of control and water pelted the windshield, car horns blaring and the crunch of metal meeting metal –_

_"**SAMAN-**!"_

_Something broke, glass shattered and metal tore asunder, the car tilted, screams and blaring horns and terrible thunder –_

**"MOM!"**

01010100101010100101110100101001010001

14 year old Sam opened her eyes. She was in a void. There was nothing, no one, just an open plain of nothingness for as far the eye could see – no living thing in the empty space, not even blackness – just a hollow, lifeless, deathless sense of utter defeat and emptiness.

Groaning, Sam stood. Footsteps broke the silence as she began to stumble, scanning the darkness.

"Anyone there?"

"Mom? Jamie? Anyone?" There was no echo to her voice.

There were no winds. No chill down her spine; no cold, no warmth, no light, no darkness, but Sam could see perfect, if not even better than she normally did. It was an empty world.

"Where am I?" There was an echo behind these words.

_(death)_

**(death)**

(death)

Was there nothing, nothing in the world here? What happened to her?

"I can't… remember… where… Mom and I were going home…"

Sam slid gently down to her knees.

Someone was coming. Sam could hear footsteps.

There was no light, but somehow she could see the reflection of silver from afar, coming closer…

"Hello?" Sam asked. The man kept coming.

He had silver hair…

_We will meet again my friend,_

_  
A hundred years from today_

_  
Far away from where we lived_

_  
And where we used to play._

_  
We will know each others' eyes_

_  
And wonder where we met_

_  
Your laugh will sound familiar_

_  
Your heart, I won't forget._

__

We will meet, I'm sure of this,

_  
But let's not wait til then..._

_  
**Let's take a walk beneath the stars**_

_  
And share this world again._

- Ron Atchison

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I awoke in a cold sweat.

Not even in the aftermath of my mother's death had I ever had any dreams of her or what happened that day. And, I don't even remember the part about the empty void. That must've been made up by my imagination.

I gagged, trying to get the sick feeling out of my throat. My hair was a mess; I looked to see I was sleeping on the floor. Across the room, Kadaj was collapsed against the kitchen counter, Yazoo was drinking coffee, and Loz was snoring soundly in the other room. I couldn't see Sephiroth or Crystal.

But I could see a new guy.

I remembered Sephiroth taking me to Crystal's apartment, where the four of them were having fun and partying. I joined in but Sephiroth declined and left. I must've fallen asleep at some point.

The new guy looked a lot like me, with sandy auburn hair. His eyes were opposites of mine, light and cheerful, blue eyes full of light. It was my brother, Jamie Wiley.

"Hey, Jamie" I murmured, rubbing my eyes.

Jamie smiled widely and jumped on me, giving me a bone cracking hug.

"SIS! It's great to see you! How've you been? Busy, it looks like, I mean, last I knew you weren't best buddies with anime characters, and now you're all _together _with –"

"What!" I whispered loudly into his ear.

"Anime? Never heard of it? Okay, so they aren't really anime but they are from FF, so I guess that counts-"

"Jamie, how do you know about them?"

Jamie gave me a look and moved his head to the side, and I saw Yazoo in the kitchen again. I groaned; my mind must've been really sleepy. "Sorry, I'm kinda out of it."

Jamie grinned and hauled me to my feet. "This is great! My little sis is buddy buddy with the bad boys of Final Fantasy number seven! Oh, I can't _wait _to see Sephy's cute rear!"

Yazoo spit out his coffee, but I just rolled my eyes.

"Keep your eyes off my boy, bro." Jamie just giggled.

I stumbled sleepily into the kitchen. Yazoo nodded to me with a smile.

"How can you already be awake?" I mumbled.

"Early riser" Yazoo commented, nodding to my brother. Jamie grinned.

"This is my brother, and I have no clue how he got here." I explained.

"Tram" Jamie began. "You see, I was REALLY bored, so I called my bestest friend in the world, my sister, and she wasn't home, but this really mean guy was, but now that I look back that was Kadaj, and I thought –"

"Brace yourself" I warned Yazoo with a grin. "My brother can go on forever."

"- where would my sister be if she isn't home? Atlanta, duh! And who does Sam know in Atlanta?"

"ME!"

All of us jumped, even my brother. All of a sudden, Crystal had come out from under the kitchen sink, pushing herself off of her knees, but of course, the island was right in front of her so she didn't get very far. As she groaned and clutched her head, I bent down to help her.

"What were you doing under the sink?" I chuckled, helping Crystal to her feet.

"Sink?" She asked. Turning around to look behind her, Crystal turned back and gave us an enlightened look. "That's what the scary dark void was!"

The word void sent shivers down my spine as I remembered my dream.

Jamie laughed. "Great, Crystal, you got lost under the sink!"

"No way! Can't get lost if you're not moving." Crystal slurred as she struggled to stand. "Uhnn…"

I shook my head. I was surrounded by a bunch of freaks.

Jamie leaned his head out of the kitchen and a sly smile came over his face as Loz stumbled into the room. "Mr. Sunshine's awake!"

Loz stumbled by me as he came to the fridge. "Who invited rainbow boy?"

"That's my brother" I whispered with a giggle.

Loz laughed and opened the fridge. The kitchen was getting crowded, so I stepped out and walked to the sofa to look at Kadaj. He was sleeping soundly, like a little baby.

"He'll sleep till one if you let him." Yazoo commented. Part of me wanted to wake the boy, but he was so cute while he was asleep. So, I took a picture to amuse myself.

I felt very exhausted, but very refreshed. Behind the haunting images of my dream were the heart-pounding memories of the night before. The laughter and the realizations, along with the feelings I felt when Sephiroth's hands found their way to my skin. Everything in my mind was a collage, from the image of Kadaj sleeping soundly, to the smell of Sephiroth's hair from last night, to the screeching echo of glass and metal from my dream.

It was floating about my consciousness, driving me insane, ripping my thoughts from one to the other. As I floated to the window to look out on the Atlanta sunrise, as the sun began shimmering against the towering city, I let my eyes closed and swept all thoughts away. _No thinking, not now. Now, I have a sunrise to see._

**We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.**

_Luciano de Crescenzo_

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Around noontime, I finished showering and dressing, and stepped out of Crystal's room to see Loz and Yazoo madly drawing on their poor brother's sleeping face. I thought about waiting around to see what the boy did to them when he awoke, but I felt restless. So, I bid everyone a fond farewell and stepped out of the door, only to hear my brother behind me.

"Oi! Sis, I'm coming!" Jamie rushed out of the house after me, slipping on his shoes as quickly as he could. I watched him with a grin.

"A successful architect, running around in old, beat up sneakers?" Jamie chuckled nervously.

"Actually, I'm not as successful as you might have been lead to believe." I gave my brother a look. "Well, it's just, you've always been really successful with your books, so I wanted you to think I was fine on my feet too. I am fine; I'm just… not great."

Incredulously, I gave him a look, before shaking my head and chuckling slightly. "Well, gee, I'm not doing that fucking great either, bro." Jamie rolled his eyes.

"Four hotties living with you and you're not doing great?" He grinned. "I'd say you're doing fine!" I elbowed him but he avoided me.

"Whatever Jamie. You know what, you wanna hang out with me, you gotta be nice, okay?" Jamie shrugged with his mischievous grin.

"So, we're we going?" I shrugged.

"I dunno. I actually wanted some quiet, alone time, to think, you know?" I joked, giving my brother a hard time. We both knew he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"All right, I get it, I get it, and I'm not wanted." I laughed at him.

"Well, why don't you meet me for lunch, at Panera's? I've got work to do anyway." I nodded to my brother as he began backing off.

"See you at twelve, Jamie!" I called, but he just waved as he disappeared into the crowd.

I sighed and shook my head at him. Looking up at the tall buildings surrounding me, I began walking as I thought, _Hell, Atlanta just always seems to keep you on your toes…_

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I was thinking a lot. All sorts of thoughts, things I hadn't thought of in years, things I didn't think I'd ever think of again. The way the world sounded in my dream, that night when the car flew from the bridge. The sound the angel's wings made. The heart monitor slowly dying as my father's hand let mine go. My brother and I, parting ways; my brother, quietly running down the long pathway from the house to the street, and me, standing on the porch just watching my life disappear.

Only three years after all of that, and I had become a zombie. I wanted to disappear. But no one can disappear. No matter how much you feign deafness and invisibility, no matter how much you withdraw from society, you will see a face in the mirror, no matter how dead that face may look. There will always be skin on your bones, until the day you die. And when you die… who knows where you disappear to.

I thought about how Sephiroth died. I wondered where he disappeared to, before Zack brought him back. And I wondered where Zack was now, hiding just out of reach, drifting in that realm of nothing I saw in my dream.

Every corner I turned on my walk, every time I turned and came to see a street filled with cars on the other side, the sound of all the footsteps around me became rain, and the angry horns honking became panicked sounds, and the sound of doors opening and closing became the squelching of metal against metal.

I had to hold my head and sit down on a bench by the side of the road.

You will never disappear from yourself. But others may not see you. You can become as invisible as the wind, making only sound, no shadow, or reflection in the eyes of others. They won't look down on you long enough to notice you exist.

Cloud and I had a lot in common. Other than the fact we both knew a strange group of silver haired men, we also knew what it was to disappear. We both had people die, and leave, and fade away.

_I'm not alone_

But am I?

010101101010101010110010101001010110101010

The grass was soft, green, and smooth, and the scent tickled my nose as I collapsed beneath a tall willow with a sigh. Willow branches tickled my nose as the wind blew them back and forth. Sighing, I closed my eyes. It wasn't long before I was asleep.

010100101010010100101010010101010101010010

I was at that place again. The empty place where no light or dark existed and death kept echoing through my ears.

_(dream)_

**(dream)**

(dream)

I groaned and held my head, bending down. I didn't think it would be of any use, but I tried to call someone.

"Anyone there?"

No one answered me. I began walking, my footsteps making the only noise in the void.

There was this feeling inside me, this … knowing. As if I'd been here before. Déjà vu, I suppose, though I chuckled to remember my mother always said Vuja de.

The void was so strange. There was absolutely no light, but I felt myself coming across something, or someone, and when I came to them, it was as if I was tripping over their existence, falling to my knees as I tumbled into some other reality.

I was still in the void. But I could see someone else standing in the void too. He was looking to the ground, almost as if he was looking over an edge. To my surprise, hints and little bits of his thoughts floated through my mind.

_…wonder where I am…_

… **was that really him… **

**…**this feels so real…

At first, I had trouble figuring out who was standing before me. The voice seemed oddly familiar, but I had to get very close to him to see his crazy, spiky yellow hair.

"Hello." I whispered.

Slowly, he turned, not surprised in the least, but seemingly in a daze. Cloud turned to me, and when he saw me was then surprised.

"Who are you?" He murmured. I suppose he thought I would be Aerith. She seems to visit his dreams often. Well, if this isn't just a dream of mine. It felt so real, I couldn't comprehend it just being a dream.

"My name is Samantha Wiley." I murmured, sitting on the ground. Cloud looked down at me in curiosity. He sat, then, and whispered his name.

"Cloud Strife."

I nodded in understanding.

"So… do you know where we are?" He asked. "This feels too real to be a dream."

I shrugged. "I've been here before, I think… a long time ago. But I don't know where we are."

"You were here in a dream?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm."

We were both very silent. I must say, sitting there with him was very soothing. He had a calming presence, as if his strength and morale shimmered in the air wherever he went. I could see why Cloud had been the hero of the game – he wasn't exactly an idol or some perfect Superman. He wasn't even Batman, and I sure hope he's not Wonder Woman. Unless Cloud has a secret he's not telling us.

But like I was saying, he really was this heroic soul, but not because… oh, how do I say this?

It's like… like…

Ah! Now I know!

It's like he's your dad.

You know? When you were a kid, didn't you think your dad was the greatest? Maybe you still do, or maybe your dad was an asshole. Well, Cloud was what you'd want your dad to be. Dad is your hero as a kid, big and strong and protective and funny, and sometimes funny looking.

But while he's your hero, he's not really… a hero. He's not even very heroic, actually, and you don't always love him cause sometimes he sends you to the corner and he makes you eat your vegetables and maybe he scares all the hot guys away. But that's because he loves you. And maybe dad is moody and strange. But that's because he's human. He's your hero, he'll always fight for you and love you, and he'll never let you down, not if he can help it.

So, Cloud is like a father. That was the sense I got, from sitting next to him. You know, Crystal told me that Cloud only ever smiles around kids. That supports my theory!

But as I sat next to him thinking about that, I realized that Cloud was my brother… well, if Kadaj and the others considered me their sister, I guess I'm Cloud's sister too. He just didn't know. I didn't feel like telling him then.

"So… why are you here?" I asked, leaning back. Cloud looked to me.

"What do you mean?"

I smiled.

"Last time I saw this place was when I was dreaming about a day in my past. I think it was part of that day, a part I don't remember. What I'm trying to say is, is that I came here once in my past, after something really… big happened. I'm here again, because a lot of big things have happened. I was just wondering if something big has happened to you."

Cloud examined my expression. He was very deep, I could tell, and very cold, but not icy, just… reserved. Maybe a little cold. Not artic cold though, not like Sephiroth. Well… I blushed. _He's not been very artic cold recently._

Cloud didn't answer for a moment. I wondered if he ever would or maybe it was too hard to answer.

"I've been thinking a lot." Cloud murmured. I nodded, listening silently. "A lot of strange things have been happening." I smirked, thinking that that was an understatement.

"An old friend of mine has a friend who has recently been having these… attacks. Screaming and going unconscious for days. When she awoke, she'd tell us about these dreams, seeing memories, but not remembering them. It was as if she was dreaming of someone else's life."

"We've only known the woman for about two years or so, but we all care for her. We approached these… people we knew, who had many resources. But only days after taking her into their care, she disappeared."

I blinked. "… Disappeared?" Cloud nodded.

We sat silently again. I felt confusion drift over me.

Why was all this happening to me now? I didn't understand. I couldn't understand. But, here I was, sitting next to a fictional video game character in this empty void teetering on the edge of dreams and death.

"What about you?"

I decided to be concise. "My mom died the first time I came here. And recently, these strange… angels have come into my care, and I have to take care of them. But everything is changing and I seem to be the only one in the dark…" I curled my knees up and rested my chin on them.

A light began rising in front of us. I wondered if it was the sunrise. Maybe, in this strange world, it was the sun setting.

"So, what do we do now…?" I wondered aloud, cradling my knees. Cloud sighed, adjusting to look at the sunrise.

"I don't know." He admitted.

Smiling, I reached my hand out and clutched his hand. He jumped slightly, but I just smiled. I knew now what the light was; it wasn't the sun, it was the two of us, waking up.

"Maybe, for now" I told him as everything began to disappear. "We should just wake up."

_Samantha? Samantha, wake up…_

I woke up.

_On the day we left, we burned down the family home and all the familiar things inside. _

**_Because some memories... aren't meant to leave traces._**

_- Alphonse Elric (Full-Metal Alchemist)_


	8. Memories

_**CHAPTER EIGHT**_

**Memories**

With a yawn, I opened my eyes. "Hmm?" I wondered, staring about, looking around me for a sign of whoever had woken me up. When a black feather fell from the sky above me, I knew who it was. My cheeks flushed as I looked up into the tree. Sephiroth was leaning against the trunk, looking out to the sky.

"Good morning." I called up to him.

"I think you mean good afternoon, sleeping beauty." He joked, smirking down at me. I rolled my eyes and stood, patting the trunk of the tree. Slowly, I attempted to climb up into it.

"Hey, Sephiroth!" I called as I took firm hold of a tree branch. He looked down to me. "What would you think if maybe… I don't know…" I wasn't quite sure how to word what I was saying.

"What is it, Samantha?" He wondered as I climbed, pulling my leg up onto a branch.

"Well, I was just wondering, you know. I mean, my brother and I aren't doing so good, and Crystal is barely on her feet. It's not like we have perfect lives here." Sephiroth listened intently as I grunted, shoving myself up onto another branch.

"And, well, we can't hide you guys forever, so I was wondering…" I finally pulled myself up higher, but Sephiroth was still a bit above me. "What if we all went to your world?"

Sephiroth laughed. "We would have to hide there as well."

"Not as much! Everybody thinks your dead! Here, anybody could recognize you and the world would go nuts."

"That could happen on Gaia as well." I huffed at his optimism. I thought it was a wonderful idea. What was to keep us here? McDonalds and Atlanta traffic? No thanks.

"You don't know a single thing about Gaia, Samantha, yet you would leap into, eyes closed, for us?" Sephiroth murmured. I leaned against the tree trunk.

"Well, Crystal and Jamie know a lot. And you guys know a lot. Who knows, maybe I'll catch up eventually." I chuckled. Sephiroth looked down to me. "Besides, I know a little. I mean, Crystal told me all about…" I bit my tongue. I had almost admitted that I knew about meteor, which would mean I knew about Sephiroth's past. I didn't want to chase him off, and usually talking about a man's past would really scare him.

The light reflected against the tree leaves. "You know about meteor. I know." I let go of the unsteady breath I'd held. Sephiroth climbed down the tree until he was at my level. I looked into his eyes, the eyes that understood my soul, and the eyes I drowned in.

"I have to admit…" I began. "I was really scared when I learned about it. Jenova and Hojo and… all of that."

"You have every right to be." Sephiroth murmured his voice soft and mellow. I shook my head.

"I'm not afraid as much, anymore. I don't totally understand any of this, I feel like I'm drowning in confusion, but I don't think I'm really afraid." I gave him a smile. "I'm not going to be miss oh so sweet and naïve and say I'm not afraid because I trust you completely. Though I do trust you a lot. And it's not because I love you… though I…" Sephiroth smirked, and I let that sentence die.

"I don't think I'm afraid because there's no reason to be afraid. No matter what happens… this is so much better than what I had before. No matter what, I will never go back to that, no chance in hell."

I finished my strange monologue and looked deep into the eyes of the angel beside me. Sephiroth seemed to be… in awe. The glow of adoration and admiration seemed to burn into me, and I almost looked away. But then I remembered… _these are the eyes of someone who loves you_. Don't look away. There's nothing wrong with his loving you.

I did blush a lot though.

010010101010010010101001010101010100110

Sephiroth had a hood over his head, hiding his silver hair in his jacket. He and I walked side by side through Atlanta, randomly sauntering from place to place, just talking about whatever we wanted to talk about.

"Come on, just tell me!" I hopped on my feet, begging. Sephiroth laughed at my strange behavior.

"Seeing as I don't understand why in hell you'd wonder about that, I think I'll keep you guessing." I pouted.

"It's just a rhetorical question."

Sephiroth gave me a strange quizzical look. "Oh? So you simply ask any man you meet _Boxers or briefs_?" I giggled behind my hand.

"Can't forget commando." I added, as he rolled his eyes at me. "What? It's a perfectly honest question."

"I know what your brother wears." Sephiroth joked with a smirk. "_Like, pink is so your color!_"

I sputtered with laughter. "I didn't know you could do that! That's scary!" Then I thought it over and smacked his arm. "Be nice to my brother."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "What, he doesn't strike you –"

"Ah ah ah!" I warned. Sephiroth huffed and stayed silent.

We took the long way to where we were headed, and ended up passing by city hall. We continued talking, randomly speaking about this or that. I asked him about what Gaia had been like, the good parts of his life there. He told me about different places and memories he had. There was this place called Gold Saucer, which was like an amusement park. It sounded like fun.

"Hey, Sephiroth. What do you think… of Atlanta? Of my home?" Sephiroth looked to the sky, and the clouds.

"It's fine." I shrugged. Guess we weren't going far in that direction.

Part of me wanted to ask about all the mystery, all the things I didn't know. _Why do I see this dark void? Have you and I really met before? _ I knew I wouldn't get any answers, and if history repeats itself, Sephiroth would probably try to distract me with … well… embarrassing activities. _Nice_ activities, but embarrassing.

The sky was a perfect blue that day. It reminded me of my mother's eyes, her eyes that had been soft and caring and warm on the soul. It was like being near stars, being in awe of the beauty of them. Sephiroth was the same in a way, but it was more like staring at the sun; overwhelming.

I turned to look at Sephiroth's eyes.

"Hey, Sephiroth?" I began. He looked down to me. "If we… go to Gaia… would you…" I bit my tongue.

Sephiroth's hand kept me from walking. "What is it?"

"Would you settle down with someone? You know, just… like Cloud did. Settle down."

Sephiroth looked my expression over as the two of us began walking again.

"I suppose. With… the right woman."

I tried to keep from squealing like a crazed fan girl.

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When we arrived at Panera Bread, Sephiroth and I parted ways. I arrived a bit early, and ordered a soda and a sandwich before sitting on by the window on a bar stool. Jamie was not known for being early, but I hoped that he wouldn't be too late. Though the time to sit and think was pleasant.

Oddly enough, I didn't think long before sleep overcame me.

I didn't feel that tired. I just… couldn't stay awake…

01001010100100101010010011001010101010

_"Turn the radio down please."_

_Sam continued driving down the road, keeping the radio obnoxiously loud, as she stared out onto the road through thick black sunglasses. A young Jamie sat beside her, looking like a California beach boy, his feet on the dash. He turned to his sister when she ignored him._

_"Sis, I can barely hear my walkman, turn it down, please."_

_Turning left on the street, the city began fading as a country setting became apparent. Jamie stared blankly at his sister, as she continued to pretend she was deaf._

_With a huffing sigh, Jamie reached up and made to turn the volume lower._

_Sam immediately reacted by elbowing her brother in the crook of his arm as it extended to the radio, a painful move. Her brother howled in pain as Sam turned the volume up even louder than it had been before._

_"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Jamie screeched his voice high and offended. Sam didn't respond. Huffing in annoyance, Jamie let it go, slouching against the window. _

_"You know mom died a year ago, and pissing on the world isn't gonna bring her back."_

_Sam made no response, no movement, no change in form as she turned into the driveway of their house. Jamie watched her in pained fascination as she put the car in park and turned it off, stepping out onto the gravel. Sighing gravely, he followed after, shutting his door and running across the grass. A friend was running towards him from the house over, waving._

_Watching him disappear, Sam ripped the sunglasses from her eyes and tossed them to the gravel. As she listened to them crunch under her boot, she whispered lowly and angrily._

_"She may be dead, but last I checked, that was still her favorite song."_

_0101001010010101001110100101_

_She was standing on the edge of a dark void. Everything was shattered around her, floating in nothingness._

_"Of course I'm still here. Where else do I have to go? I don't have anything. I don't have anything anymore."_

_Darkness shifted in the space as Sam stepped out onto the fragments of void around her, the shattered pieces of life. The emptiness was astounding._

_"Yes you can! You can come back!" Sam choked, falling to her knees. "You're all I have."_

_Sam continued crawling over the fragments, searching for him in the dark._

09008080088008080808008008080808080

"Sam? Hello, earth to sister, Houston, we have a problem, I have fallen asleep in my pastrami on rye…"

Groaning, I sat up and awoke, and with it came the gross realization that my lunch was now littered with hair.

"Lovely" I mumbled. Jamie laughed at my predicament.

"Don't worry, I'll treat you. What do you want?" I glared at my sandwich.

"Anything but this" I joked, pointing down at the offending item. Jamie shook his head and kissed the tope of mine, before running off into the line to order.

I laughed at him, as I cringed and pushed my sandwich away from me. I could but barely remember the outline of my dream, and it added to my fog of confusion. That was twice in one day I'd suddenly fallen asleep and seen… strange things. And it was the third set of strange dreams. Perhaps my dreams were actually memories. Or maybe…I don't know. In all truths, I had no idea.

Jamie returned with food, and I welcomed my brother's loud talkative distraction from my worries.

010100101001001010101000110101010

"Hey, would you look at that!"

I walked into the apartment to see the four of its occupants glued to the computer screen. Smiling contently, I walked up behind them to see they were watching anime on Youtube, something I'd never really bothered to do. Though, I had heard a lot about it from Crystal, and I knew the show was "Naruto".

"Hey" Kadaj grinned and stood when he saw me. I really adored the little guy, though, I always felt little around him. And I wasn't really taller than him, since he was my height.

"Welcome back sister" Kadaj smiled. Loz and Yazoo both waved, and Crystal leapt up and hugged me.

"Hey, girl" I looked around as Crystal hopped back over to the computer.

"So, when do we plan on going back?" I asked, setting my jacket on the sofa.

"Do we have to go back?" Loz joked in a girly voice. I gave him a look.

"As nice as the company here is, I miss my quiet country side." I joked back, plopping onto the couch tiredly.

The four of them behind me began laughing insanely over the video, and though I felt like having a laugh at the time, my body began to doze off. But, just as I almost fell asleep, the door opened.

"Who is it now?" Crystal implored with a huff.

Sephiroth stepped into the room, my brother in tow.

"Look who I found on the way home!" Jamie joked, leaping over the couch and landed right next to me. I giggled at his antics.

"Where do you people come from?" Crystal joked as she stood from her chair and ran into the kitchen.

I watched everyone relax and gather round, slowly ending up in the same area; grabbing their snacks and their drinks, leaning back in their seats and into their sofa cushions. Without even realizing it, we all ended up hanging out together, this strange group of people. Some who shouldn't even be alive, and some who don't always feel like they should be either. We gravitated to each other and even the coldest of us stayed close, joining in the warmth.

It wasn't long before I was leaning shyly against the warmth of Sephiroth's chest, and my friends had the decency not to mention it.

"Umm… umm…"

"A chicken?" I asked, curious. Loz shook his head and continued pantomiming, as everyone thought hard.

"A bird? A plane?" Kadaj asked.

"Planes don't flap their wings." Jamie pointed out.

Loz shook his head. Putting three fingers in the air, we all said "Three words".

"First word" Yazoo muttered.

Loz began choking himself.

"Choke?" I added. Loz nodded.

"Second word" Kadaj happily bounced in his seat. Loz shaped his fingers into the shape of the letter "o".

"O?" Crystal murmured. Then her eyes lit up. "Chocobo! It's a chocobo!"

"Finally!" Loz joked, collapsing into the armchair. Everyone laughed, and Sephiroth's deep laughter vibrated my shoulders. I reveled in the feeling.

"Someone want to tell me what a chocobo is?" I muttered, feeling very left out.

"It's a bird from Gaia. Something from the video game." Crystal explained. I rolled my eyes.

"I still think it's a giant chicken." Every one laughed at me.

Even I had to laugh at me.

001010010101010100100111000010101

**After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; **

**it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.**

- Mark Twain

I offered to drive in the morning. It was becoming a problem for me to have nothing to do. Whenever I found myself bored, I would fall asleep and dream these odd things, sometimes not even remembering them. So, I offered to drive everyone back to the house. I wasn't sure how they'd arrived in Atlanta in the first place, but all four of them happily offered to give me company.

We said goodbye to Jamie and Crystal, and headed out to the country side, the dead world of no progress and nasty hicks. Clouds floated above as trees began replacing skyscrapers as the high towering beauties that catch the eye.

Only ten minutes into the drive, I looked to Sephiroth. I looked back to my review mirror, then back at Sephiroth.

"When were you going to tell me we have stowaways?" Sephiroth gave me a tempting, knowing smirk.

"I wondered if you would catch on."

Everyone in the car turned back except for me. I looked back through the mirror.

Slowly and a bit embarrassed at being caught, Jamie and Crystal's heads slowly appeared in the mirror as they sat up in the back.

"Hey guys! Fancy seeing you here!" My brother laughed nervously. I cast him a dirty look. Sephiroth turned back to the front and shook his head with a smirk.

"My house is becoming so crowded." I sighed.

I jumped when I felt Sephiroth's hand move over and squeeze my thigh reassuringly, and I inwardly loved the feeling. I knew that Sephiroth knew, and the only thing keeping him from jumping all over me was the fact the others were in the back. Not the fact I was driving the car; he would gladly sacrifice the metal hunk of junk for the sake of his carnal needs. His needs were becoming… "hotter"… I woke up to him nibbling on my ear.

"It will be over soon" He reassured me. I was surprised, and my eyes went wide. I wasn't sure what he meant.

But I had a feeling it was important.

**The light in this place is so bad **

**  
Makin' me sick in the head **

**  
All the laughter is just makin' me sad **

**  
The stars have turned cherry red**

-Bob Dylan: Standing in the Doorway


	9. The Aftermath: Surviving the Fire

_**CHAPTER NINE**_

**Aftermath: Surviving the Fire**

It was dancing in beauty and rhythm, glistening in the night, shining through the blackness. I was transfixed and horrified at the same moment, trembling in awe and in fear, breathing in smoke, and falling to my knees. The world seemed to stop, to slow to such a degree nothing moved. I thought maybe, the sky shivered. Or perhaps that was the heat floating above what had once been my house.

Everything was in flames. The house was alight and burning, timbers tumbling and the heat absolutely overwhelming. I felt sick to my stomach as I crawled out of the van in shock, watching my house burn away.

One by one, I heard the others leave the van, and when my brother stepped out, his lips trembling and his eyes wide he raced past me screaming, running to the house we had grown up in.

"Jamie!" I shouted after him and my voice fell on deaf ears. Stumbling, I tried to stand and go after him, but in my dazed state, my shoulder hit the car door. As I groaned and fell, Sephiroth came up behind me.

Kadaj was racing after my brother into the flames, determined and dead set. At that moment, when I saw the red flames reflect against my brother's hair the idea that all that I had left of the life before my mother's death was up in flames sank into my mind. I shivered and caved, shrieking in agony as I curled up, clutching my knees. I felt Sephiroth's arms around me, and in horror I looked back to the flames.

Something was moving within them. With all my heart I prayed my brothers were all right. Later, I would look back on that moment and think, _that was the first time I truly thought of them as brothers, the first time I admitted it without blushing or embarrassment_

It was true; they became my family.

A form came from the flames; and in his arms he carried my brother, and in all his stoic strength and silence I shook with surprise. As his face lifted to look up, I realized how alike Kadaj was to his brother. The scene was almost a replay of Sephiroth at Nibelhiem.

Gently, Kadaj set my brother unconscious in Loz's arms, and immediately rushed back into the flames. Yazoo was behind him, as Loz carried my brother to the car. I didn't realize it, but I was screaming myself hoarse. I only noticed it when Sephiroth's gloved hand came over my lips. It seemed like slow motion as I watched Yazoo and Kadaj disappear back into the flames.

It was official. Everything had changed. There was nowhere to turn and nowhere to run. There wasn't any place to look to for normality. My life was a question; my destiny a misguided, unknown dream of a thought. All I had was an old gray van, 17 dollars and a packet of bubble gum, along with four hungry mouths to feed. They were all I had left; my family. I sobbed as I curled towards the ground and trembled.

My old life went up in flames.

101010010010100100101011010010010010100101

Cloud.

Cloud.

Cloud.

There were a lot of funny looking clouds. One reminded me of Jamie's haircut, and another sort of looked like the liberty bell. There were a lot of puffy, white clouds in the sky, and I traced them with my finger on the window as they sped by.

Crystal was in the driver's seat, and it was very early in the morning. No one had really slept, except for Jamie, who'd been out like a light for a while. Ever since he'd rushed into my burning house… my body shivered at the memory. I tried to suppress it…I would deal with it later, when I was alone.

Jamie's crazy mat of hair was in my lap, and absentmindedly I fiddled with it. I cannot in words truly do justice to what I was feeling; it was like drowning, coming up for air. It was as if I'd just come out of the water, hacking and coughing, still in shock, unable to believe what had happened.

I tried to keep from thinking, because as soon as I thought about anything, my thoughts would drift back to the house. So I kept counting clouds. One of them looked like a tree, and another like a big pie, which made me rather hungry. The last one looked a lot like my house.

Or maybe that was just me.

101001100101010010010101001001010

"Come on guys, get out"

We stopped at an old Holiday Inn, in the middle of nowhere. In metaphorical terms that's truly where we were in life; nowhere, absolutely nowhere to go and nowhere to return to. My legs shook and I struggled to stand, but I kept moving.

Kadaj and the others had managed to save some things from my house; my backpack, full of writing materials, some of my books, a bit of my savings in the closet, some clothes, even some food, and water. Most importantly, Kadaj saved what my brother had ran in for in the first place; the old box in which we kept my mother's things, a box that was now caked with dust.

Stumbling into the old Inn, I stepped up to the front desk. "We need some rooms for the night" I began. "There are eight of us."

The woman typed away on her computer. "We have two rooms left, one double, and one master. We can give you those if you'd like."

I knew immediately who would be staying in the master with me; and I knew that meant there was no way he'd like me close up and hide away like I wanted to. But I agreed with the woman and handed her a credit card. I didn't care if I couldn't pay the bill; if luck was on our side, I wouldn't be around for long.

That was my plan; it was all I had left. To go to Gaia.

We all tiredly filed up the stairs towards the rooms. Behind me I heard Loz and Yazoo bicker about who would sleep on the floor.

"Crystal and Jamie get the beds, and you two can be the gentlemen and sleep on the floor." I told them, stepping out into the hallway. Loz pouted, and my brother did as well when he realized I called him a girl.

I handed Crystal her key card to the room. Her eyes were pitying and sad, but I just smiled and turned to my room. Over my shoulder, Sephiroth gave Crystal a supportive look, and with a sigh, the woman left me in Sephiroth's care.

We all entered out respective rooms, and I threw my backpack to the floor, and immediately fell to my knees. Before I could, Sephiroth scooped me up and sauntered to the bed, his eyes emotionless, yet so filled with… something. I couldn't tell what.

"We don't have a choice now." I whispered. "It's Gaia or nothing." Sephiroth didn't respond.

There was no need for words. I couldn't have spoken even if I wanted to; there were no words for what I felt. I was speechless, a writer, speechless! How could the world shift so dramatically, it such a short time? How could everything you believed to be rock solid turn to dust in your fingers, slipping through the cracks?

The moonlight was gently drifting through the window, gently through the glass, falling on my skin as my face flushed and my eyes watered. I must've looked so lonely. I wasn't. In fact, more than anything at that moment, I wanted to be alone. As painful as it was, I knew how to be sad when I was alone. Now… I didn't know what to do… crying with someone else, crying on someone's shoulder, instead of on my pillow. It's like complaining and begging for food, when a plate of it is before you. It may not be what you like… but its food.

I tried not to look Sephiroth in the eyes; I couldn't handle looking into his mighty gaze at that moment. Knowing that my darkest secrets could be devoured and my worst fears preyed upon, knowing he could see everything… but I wasn't afraid of what he'd do. I was afraid of what he'd think.

Sephiroth felt lightly onto the bed, with a heavy sigh. I'd never heard him sigh before. I was drifting in and out of sleep, hiccupping as I silently cried against Sephiroth's strong shoulders.

"And this is how the worlds revolve" He whispered, his voice like a melody, his words like a poem. "Revolve around the dying"

I might've been shaking, sobbing uncontrollably. I did not miss my house. I missed my memories. The memories that were the shadows of my house and that defined my house. For so long, they were all I had.

_Sweetie! Check the dryer I think there's a load…_

_**Sometimes you're so cynical, Samantha I don't know what to do with you…**_

_Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in Black, Black…_

… _**and somehow, I will shoot myself from the rocket, and fly right up to the moon!**_

_We love you, you know that, don't you?_

My memories that were flooding me and the voices I could hear mixed together with Sephiroth's lone powerful voice, his dark sensual sounding voice. As I fell into a content, somber sleep, I heard him barely one last time.

"Now I see once again the reasoning for your hatred… mother."

101010100010001000101000101010101010100

I was in that place again. The dark place that seems like nothing, but just might be everything, and is at least something. It was a dream, but it was real.

**(real)**

_**(real) **(real)_

_(laer)_

Last time I had been there, Cloud had been sitting contently on the edge, his dark brooding mind at work. He had told me of some friend who'd been having breakdowns and remembering things. I wondered if he was okay.

This time, I was with someone else, but I knew him. Smiling, I sighed and brushed my hair back, walking up to the ledge, and stood beside him.

"It sounds like your having a tough time over there" He mumbled with a small sympathetic smile. I didn't really know what to say.

"I don't know. It might be hard to get over but… in the end; it may be for the best."

Zack turned and looked to me. He was sitting with one leg over the ledge, his other foot resting on the top of the edge, both of his hands holding his calf. Looking over his shoulder, he nodded for me to sit next to him.

I obliged, sniffling a little. My insides were still a little shook up.

"Well, I hear you're planning a little trip to Gaia."

I snorted. "Little? Zack, I don't plan on ever returning"

"Ah, but that's the beauty of plans; they are made to change." I had to give him that. I am sure it had never been in Sephiroth's plans to meet me. I wondered what he'd do if given the chance to return to what he'd been… to finish his mother's duty. It didn't take me long to think he'd let someone like me go.

But I couldn't think like that. I turned to Zack.

"Yeah. We're going to Gaia"

We were both silent, the realm around us reflecting our reverence and tranquility. Little fireflies floated here and there, and it occurred to me that each time I came to the Place, it was different. I wondered if Zack knew what it was.

His eyes were on me, as if examining me. It seemed like he was trying to measure my soul, or gouge my strength of heart with his eyes. I thought I probably looked pretty weak, since I shivered under his intense gaze. But, he seemed to shrug, and turned to look back out to the nothingness.

"It'll be a long journey. It's only been done once before" He commented, letting his leg slide over the edge. Both of his legs sat on the edge now, swinging back and forth like a child's.

"What must I do?"

Zack looked up at the sky, beyond his line of sight. He had to lean pretty far back to do it. He managed somehow.

"See that!" He lifted his arm and pointed to a star. My eye brows furrowed to see it; it was bright green, sort of large, and very far away.

"That star moves further away every night, heading northwestern. It's Gaia, and if you follow it, you'll eventually find yourself there."

I did not seem as dumbfounded over the strange idea as I thought I would've. Instead, in my daze of thought and brooding, I looked to Zack again.

"Will you follow us?" I asked. Zack gave me an incredulous look.

"Follow you? I don't know if you remember but I'm dead." I had to roll my eyes.

"Sephiroth was too. He's not anymore."

Zack sat silently for a while. In the distance, the sun began rising, rising high over the nothing – everything Place where the stars never disappeared. I wondered if Zack would be able to leave, like Sephiroth did.

"I think you can" I whispered. I felt myself fading away, back into reality.

Zack gave me one last big smile.

"Tell the General he'd better not lose someone good as you!"

0100100101010110101010100101010101010101001

I awoke on a firm chest, held tightly in familiar strong arms. Shivering, I moaned as I awoke my warm body curling up against Sephiroth's warm one. He shivered in pleasure, I think, and my face flushed. But to my surprise… I also smiled a bit devilishly. Did it make me happy, to please him? Was I becoming use to the idea that he wanted me? I… liked it. But I was still very new to the area, and very embarrassed.

"Good Morning" He whispered huskily in my ear. I could tell by how he said it that those words had capitals at the beginning; he was enjoying his morning so far. I wanted to smack him, but I also… didn't.

"Hey" I muttered sleepily, placing my hand on his shoulder. His gloved hand came up onto mine, clutching it gently and supportively. I jumped in surprise. It wasn't the first time Sephiroth had supported me, but he'd never been so… I didn't know. There was something different. I think it was my woman's instinct realizing that the ice separating him from me was melting away. In the same respect, the vines of distrust and self loathing around my heart were being pruned.

With a small smile, I nodded in acceptance of his small sign of affection. His lips did not smile; but his eyes glittered with the affection that I had become so surprised by. How could anyone feel such feelings for me, so strongly? And they seemed to grow like weeds, spreading and getting stronger. I could not see anything so lovely in me. Maybe what he saw was for his eyes only. I could not see it.

"You say you wish to go to Gaia?" Sephiroth whispered. I nodded.

"I want to take you home." I answered him, leaning my forehead against his collarbone.

"Home"

Silence fluttered by for a moment. In the next room, I heard giggles and happy laughter; we were a strange team, leaping up onto our feet so quickly. But then, perhaps the only broken one had been me. Even Jamie had only cried for his mother's belongings. It reminded me of one of the lines from the movie Crystal had shown me about Gaia. It was said by… Rufus, President… I think it was of Shinra. Yes, Rufus Shinra.

_All children miss their mothers_

That they do.

202002020202020200002020202020020202002

It was a strange day. No one moved. Time seemed to stop. All of us stayed in our rooms.

"We need to restore our strength" Loz had told me as he returned from the lobby. I didn't hear any "strength restoring" in the other room. I heard crazed giggles and insane laughter.

"Makes one wonder what they're doing in there" Sephiroth had laughed after shutting the door to the hallway and locking it.

"Perverted things?" I joked, looking up from my novel.

"Perhaps we should follow their example?"

I cringed, but something strange burned in me. It was a very foreign feeling I'd never felt before. My legs turned to jelly and my stomach churned pleasurably for just a moment. I'd never felt like that before. If just the playful mention of such a thing could make me so strange, how would I ever survive the true thing?

But as I turned the page, no longer even skimming the book, I knew what Sephiroth wanted. He wanted to make me his. And I wanted to be with him. But I didn't know if… what made me hesitate? Fear and anxiety? Yes. I loved him. Why hesitate?

I turned off the light, closed my book, and pretended to take a nap.

02002020202002020020202020202

I must've fallen asleep, for next I knew, Sephiroth was gently kissing my forehead, before turning and leaving the room quietly. Groaning, I sat up looking around the dark room.

I hadn't dreamt of anyone that time. I didn't know if that was a good thing.

It was three in the afternoon, and my body was still a bit tired. I would sleep again later, but first I decided to visit the others. Exiting the room, I entered Crystal's room.

The five were in a rather large room, all of the furniture and things pushed to the walls. Kadaj and Loz were wrestling in the middle of the floor. Crystal sat cross legged on the counter, munching on popcorn as she cheered the others on. Yazoo was in a dark corner, smirking at the scene and Jamie sat by the window, content to daydream. I wasn't sure how he could with all the noise.

"Come on, fat ass, don't you dare let your little brother beat you, he's a shrimp!" Crystal taunted Loz, edging him on.

"Don't tell me you're going to cry, brother?" Yazoo laughed.

I shook my head at the scene. Loz grinned and put Kadaj in a headlock, but the boy slipped away and leapt back, and the two continued tussling.

"Hey, Sammy, you okay?" Crystal greeted, patting the counter. I slipped up onto it, stealing a bit of her popcorn.

"Pretty good, actually" I smiled, weary, but content. Crystal was pleased with the answer, and turned back to the fight.

Climbing off the counter, I tried to slip around the fight. Kadaj's leg tripped me, but Yazoo caught me in time. Giving him my thanks, I walked up to the window where my brother was.

I finally saw what he was doing. Mother's box of things was in his lap and he was shifting through it walking down memory lane.

I smiled at the boy, my older brother, who was such a child. He was a good deal like Kadaj. I couldn't help but laugh, and that alerted him to my presence.

"Hello sister" He smiled. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine"

20202202020200202020202020200202020202202

It was nighttime. Sephiroth was outside on the roof of the van, watching the sky, and I stood by the door to the hotel, watching him. It was about time to go, and the others were packing their things as they headed downstairs.

As usual, I was lost. What to do?

I couldn't tell if Sephiroth was becoming impatient with me. So many things were floating through my mind, a girl's normal thoughts; should I? What if I'm not good enough? What if he takes it and leaves? What if… what if…

My faced flushed.

It was hard to admit I wanted him. I wanted to know Sephiroth in any and every way. I knew his past. I knew his eyes. I wanted him to trust me, and open up to me.

He was such a beautiful angel, his eyes reflecting the stars. I saw Gaia in his left pupil, shining bright green. I almost couldn't tell it from the color of his eyes. My heart fluttered to look at his eyes and their intensity, and I think he glanced at me for a moment.

He knew I was looking at him. I knew he knew, and he knew I knew, and he knew I knew he knew.

I had to laugh. It felt so good to laugh.

Kadaj and the others came out of the hotel.

"Come on, let's get going!" Jamie cheered, rushing into the van. Crystal was just behind him, leaping into the driver's seat. The others filed in as Sephiroth gracefully leapt down to the cement.

I watched each different face each different pair of eyes and each different heart join together as one group. My heart was one of many. The barriers were fading away, becoming a distant memory. Someplace great… someplace wonderful, someplace I'd never seen before was ahead of us, if only we could find it. It would be a paradise, our paradise.

Our Promised Land.

Crystal rolled down the window as I silently stepped up to the van. Setting her arms on the metal, she put her chin in the crook of her elbow, looking up at me playfully with a light grin.

"Where to?"

**_"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."_**

- Oscar Wilde


	10. Another World? Part One

_**CHAPTER TEN**_

**Another World…?**

_You lie, silent there before me._

_  
Your tears, they mean nothing to me,_

_  
The wind howling at the window,_

_  
The love you never gave,_

_  
I give to you,_

_  
Really don't deserve it,_

_  
But now, there's nothing you can do._

_  
So sleep, in your only memory_

_  
Of me, my dearest mother..._

_- _"Room of Angel" Silent Hill

I was dreaming again. It's easy to fall asleep when sitting in a van staring at the sky. Ever since the strange dreams that had been lulling me to sleep, it seemed like I was sleeping more and more. Part of me didn't mind. Another part was curious… why did sleep drag me away so often? After telling Crystal to follow the star no matter what, I left matters in her hands and slept.

02002020202020200202020200202020202002

I was partially awake. I was partially asleep.

As my body shifted with the movements of the van, my sight shifted between the view of Kadaj and Jamie arguing playfully ahead of me, to the dark realm of my dreams where reality glittered and glistened and the only sound was my heartbeat, _thump, thump, thump_. Laughter echoed in my ears, but my heart was steadily cutting through it as in my dreams I steadily moved forward, and in reality Sephiroth's hand lightly caressed my hair.

I tried to settle into the dream. Zack was there, of course. I thought maybe, today I will sleep a lot, and Zack and I can have a true conversation. That was my hope.

So, I forced my body into true sleep, and the laughter melted away as the sunlight streaming through the windshield faded. I was in darkness, surrounded by darkness, echoing through my veins the sound of _thump, thump, thump_.

With a childish grin I laughed and ran up to Zack who was standing by the ledge, kicking invisible rocks. He looked bored, or maybe he was waiting for someone.

"Zack" I called. His face lighted up, and he looked around, happily setting his eyes on me.

"Hey, Sammy! Took you long enough! I've been trying to contact you for ever!" I glowered playfully.

"Well, it would be a lot easier to talk to you if you weren't some ghost who floats through my consciousness from time to time." I corrected slyly. Zack shrugged with a "what can you do" kind of face. What a lame excuse.

"It's not my fault I'm dead. I died to save a life, all right?"

"Whose?" I asked. Then my eyes lit up. "Oh yeah, Cloud."

Zack became very sheepish suddenly. I gave him a look, and he tried to look away, seemingly innocent. Curious, I moved back into his line of sight, and he sighed tiredly.

"What?" He sarcastically groaned, collapsing onto the floor.

"What was that look?" Zack looked up to me with a helpless face, but with a sigh, he caved.

"There's… more to the story."

0202020020202020200020202020202020002

_Yeah, I died for Cloud… the first time. But that isn't how I ended up here._

_You know how Sephiroth and the others got their second chance? Well, I got one too. We all get one… well… certain ones of us. _

_In my world, when people die, they become part of the Lifestream. But people like me and Sephiroth can't be accepted into the Lifestream. I don't know why, so don't ask me. Instead of becoming part of the planet we end up here. _

_But I digress._

_So, I got my second chance._

"Go long!"

The little girl gasped at the ball, grinning widely as it flew over her head with the wind. Tumbling to the earth, it bounced over rocks and stones, towards the empty street.

The town was a bit lively for a town. It was Sunday, and the close friends of the town were out and about in the crowded market area. Mist floated through that early morning, but few cars passed, so the child safely wandered onto the street to retrieve the football.

"Sis, over here!"

The young Sam giggled and turned to see a young Jamie waving to her, grinning madly. "That was great! That one was really far!" Rolling her eyes at her brother, Sam held tight to the ball.

"Don't throw it like that, okay!" She chided. "I can't run that fast!"

"So? You can chase it!"

By the front door of the post office, Jamie and Sam's mother chuckled at their childish behavior and began walking towards them.

"You chase it!"

"I will when you throw it that hard!"

Huffing, the girl threw the ball at the ground and crossed her arms, turning from her brother. Jamie pouted, huffing. "Fine, be a baby!"

Sam turned to him and stuck his tongue out. The two began arguing again as their mother began to walk across the street towards them.

Two dim lights cut through the morning fog. No one really saw them, so nothing changed. The children continued arguing, as Sam lifted the ball and threw it at her brother's head. The lights came closer.

A huge metal monster with bright, blinding eyes erupted from the fog; a Ford truck.

"_**SAMANTHA**_!"

_I saw you._

The mother's face contorted in fear as she leapt into the street, ready to sacrifice her life for her child's. She shoved through the crowd, screaming, tears pouring down her face.

Jamie's eyes grew wide as he slowly realized what was happening to his sister. With an angry, fearful roar he began running down the hill towards the street.

It seemed like a millennia passed as Sam turned and saw the enormous Ford headed straight towards her. She could only hear the blaring horn erupting from it, only see the blinding lights. Everything was fading away slowly.

_I was there._

In the street, the mother realized the hopelessness of her situation and continued trying desperately to push through the crowd.

The girl gawked at the truck.

In the corner of her vision, something dark came towards her. Slowly, it leapt ahead, until two thing wrapped around her waist. If she'd not been out of it, she'd of realized a pair of arms had enveloped her.

_I know your mom told you an angel saved you. When I grabbed you, my soul escaped from my body with you wrapped safely in it. That was the only way I could save you, the truck was too close. My body got left behind. _

_I set you in your mother's arms, and she must've mistaken the sound of my soul leaving my body for the sound of wings beating. They sound alike._

Everyone gasped at the scene before them. The truck skidded off the street into the park, injuring a man and almost hitting Jamie.

In the street, a mother sobbed, cradling her sleeping child.

In the street, a man lay dead.

020200202020220202002200220

"You… saved me?" I gulped, flushing and embarrassed. "I mean, I've always known you saved me but I…"

Zack smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I could've used some of my awesome SOLDIER _skillz_, but I didn't because I thought the people would freak. My bad" He tried to joke.

I fell to me knees.

"Uh, Sam? Come on; don't give up on me now." Another nervous chuckle.

"Oh, Zack, I can't believe it." I whispered. "You died for me, and…"

I looked up at him, in the eyes. I'd never done that before; always I would try to dig deep into Sephiroth's eyes, but I'd never looked at Zack. Maybe I was afraid.

Sephiroth's eyes dove deep into the soul, ripping apart barriers and tearing away at secrets. They were sharp and strong, demanding and sometimes bitter. If Sephiroth was one side of the spectrum, Zack was way on the other side.

They were opposites; Zack's deep eyes were dark colored, yet soft and sweet, strong yet gentle and soothing. It was like being caressed by the ocean waves, powerful and beautiful, and calming too. When they are angered though, they rip the earth apart.

I must admit I saw a handsome man, who maybe I would've gone to if Sephiroth had never come into my care. With a sigh, I gave Zack a tight hug around his waist, unable to convey my gratitude and my guilt.

Zack gave me a little peck on the forehead.

"I think you need to wake up"

00202020202020202020202020202020202020

Groggily, I rubbed my eyes, gazing back and forth at my surroundings. The van was parked and empty and I was sprawled across the back seat.

Outside, the sun was slowly rising above the horizon, but it was still dark and serene.

Yawning with a wide stretch, I stood and walked out of the van. My hair was a crazy mess; it kept jumping in front of my eyes.

The van was parked in front of a large, odd looking, antiquated house. It was homely, but perhaps a bit too homely; a sofa was on the front porch, old and stained, with a battered scarecrow stretched upon it. (_Kakashi – sensei? Okay, authoress shutting up_)

Sleepily, I waved to the strange looking thing and approached the door. It opened with a creak, and I clambered inside into the comfortable warmth.

Still I didn't see anyone. With a groan, I eyed my surroundings.

It was large, open, wooden, and woodsy, with knick knacks and strange things strewn about.

On the TV sat an old antique puppet and a blue lamp decorated with stars.

A huge quilt was draped over the banister.

A box of muffins was on the counter.

Discreetly, I eyed the muffins. They seemed to be calling my name… _Sam… eat me! _But that would be rude. I was starving, but I sure wasn't going to steal.

"Go ahead"

I practically leapt out of my skin. Spinning about, I watched a tall, handsome man saunter into the room.

What was it with handsome men somehow becoming associated with me in some way, nowadays? I must be that character in the story all the girls hate because she's so lucky. Hell, I hated myself right then. Do not drool over half dressed man; do not drool over half dressed man…

He was maybe thirty, with strong muscles and very little body hair. How did I know? No shirt. When he stretched, he had no armpit fur. It was good to know he wasn't French. Anyway, he wore baggy black pants and a good few scars dotted his body. One even went over his right eye, which seemed permanently closed. Black, messy hair kept me from seeing his other eye.

Flushing, I bowed by instinct. The man chuckled and waved it off.

"Go ahead" He repeated, collapsing onto the couch. "Your friends are asleep upstairs."

Curious, I did not move for a moment. I wondered who the man was, and why he lived in such a strange place. Was he alone? But I was plagued for only a moment; I dove into a muffin.

Sitting down on a small stool, I ate away, chewing absentmindedly and sleepily.

He seemed very out of place amongst the scarecrow on the porch and the suit of armor at the top of the stairs. I was curious why his house was like an antique store.

"Excuse me, but who are you?"

His eyes stayed closed and he did not acknowledge me, but he gave me an answer.

"Aaron"

With a thoughtful nod, I stood again. The sun was over the hills, and light streamed through the window behind me.

He did not ask my name. I knew he probably wouldn't. I would be leaving soon, so it did not matter to him.

As for me, I would be leaving soon, so I had to remember everyone. I wanted to remember the sea and the sky and the sun and how everything smelt and taste on Earth. I wanted to make memories, before my chance to have them here was gone.

10101001010101

"Sister!"

A thunderous roar came from the top steps. It sounded like a small stampede had erupted from the second floor, rushing straight towards me.

Kadaj leapt over the banister, landed on the back of the sofa and flipped to me. At the same time, Loz jumped from the second floor and flitted over. The sane member of the trio used the stairs.

I was a bit surprised that Aaron didn't even move. But I supposed he was just very reserved; he reminded me of Cloud.

"Morning" I mumbled, chuckling at the brothers. As Yazoo stepped up, he rolled his eyes at his siblings.

"Where are we?" I mumbled.

"The Georgia South Carolina border." Aaron asked, sitting up.

Yazoo added, "We followed that star all night."

Kadaj ignored his brother and stared at Aaron. "Where the hell did he come from?"

"He lives here. At least, I think he does." I muttered shyly. Aaron gave me a look, but I looked away.

"Yes, I live here, with my friends."

"Where are they?" Loz murmured suspiciously.

"Sleeping"

I eyed the staircase. No more steps sounded; I supposed the others were still asleep.

"Where's Sephiroth?" Turning to Loz, I murmured to him quietly.

"Still asleep" Loz replied. "Stayed up all night watching you." Smiling reverently, I turned crimson.

"What room?"

"Last one on the right"

Swiftly, and silently, I leapt up the stairs two at a time and turned down the hall.

0101001010101010

Upstairs was a bit quaint, empty, and silent. The hallway had few decorations.

I turned the knob on the door and entered the last room on the right. It was quaint as well, but with an angelic presence within.

His silver hair was strewn wildly across the pillows, his arms spread, his legs half on the bed, half under the blankets. He seemed like such a child, besides the amazingly tone chest. Besides the first time I'd seen him, I'd never seen anything like it! Sure, Aaron was beautiful, but Sephiroth… at least, to me, he was above everyone else. Leaning against the doorframe shyly and reverently, I wondered if Sephiroth knew how I felt.

To my surprise, I did not turn from the sight with embarrassment or shame. Part of me was more… comfortable with the situation. I didn't mind so much because… I wanted to know him. I wanted to know his strengths and faults, his beauty and his ugliness. I would not be ashamed of knowing any part of him, though… I was still shy!

"Well, well! I woke up just in time!"

Jumping in shock, I spun around and collided with the door. Recoiling, I calmed and stepped out past the doorway to look at the stranger who was laughing at me.

The man who was blatantly laughing at me was surely one of Aaron's friends. He also wore no shirt, and had even more scars than Aaron. A large, strange looking black tattoo covered his scarred chest. Sandy brown hair covered his face messily, and his eyes were devious and cocky. He leaned towards me with a smug smirk and an arm on the doorframe.

"Hey, little lady. What're you doin here?" I stepped past the man and gently closed the door so we would not disturb Sephiroth. I didn't want to learn if Sephiroth was a morning person the hard way.

"My friends and I needed a place to rest. And I'm Sam, not lady."

The man gave a hearty laugh as he walked beside me towards the kitchen. I liked his laugh; it was strong and fatherly.

"The name's Jack" He told me, giving me his hand. I did not shake it; simply smiled and happily skipped down the stairs to my siblings at the kitchen counter, eating muffins. Jack shook his head and shrugged before coming down the stairs.

"Mornin, Aaron" The man waved with a grin. The way he spoke seemed to be an attempt to insult the man. Aaron sleepily picked up a sofa pillow and tossed it towards Jack, hard. The man dodged nimbly and the pillow smashed into the suit of armor at the top of the stairs.

Loz ducked under the kitchen counter when the knight's spear flew by him. Impaling the refrigerator door, it gave a metallic twang and cracked. Jack yawned and opened the fridge, which forced Yazoo to jump out of the way of the spear.

"What's with the decorations?" Loz muttered as he stood from under the counter.

Jack opened the milk jug and chugged some of it, which made me decide to think twice before taking anything out of the fridge. Only after that did he bother to remove the spear from the fridge and toss it out the open window.

"Our friend has a strange taste in collectibles." Aaron commented as he sat up and turned on the TV.

"Where is Brian, anyway?" Jack muttered as he collapsed onto the antique floral sofa with the strange lace.

"Asleep" Aaron spoke as he flipped channels.

"Is he the last member of your group?" I asked. Their response was an uninterested grunt.

Jack, Aaron, and Brian; such a strange group, and I hadn't even met the third member yet.

"Where are Crystal and Jamie?" I asked, walking towards the stairs.

Kadaj answered. "The second room on the right."

01010101010110101

The door Kadaj spoke of was a dark black with red roses decorating the wood. It was old and cracked, so I tapped on the door very gently. No one came to the door, so I let myself in.

Both of them were already awake and sitting up, talking away.

"Hey, sis!" Jamie greeted. "So, what's the plan?" He immediately talked business.

"You mean the big plan?" I began. Jamie nodded vigorously, and Crystal seemed to agree.

With a sleepy yawn, I collapsed onto the bed.

"According to Zack, we need to keep following that star until we get to Gaia."

Both Jamie and Crystal's eyes jumped out of their sockets, and they gawked.

"Zack?" Crystal's face split into a wide grin. "As in Cloud's Zack?"

"The Zack Fair?" Jami added, about to burst. "Zack Fair, with that _fine behind_?"

It was my and Crystal's turn to gawk at Jamie. He shrugged innocently. "What?"

With a haggard groan, I shook my head. "I don't know… He's just a friend of mine."

"Zack Fair is that dark haired ghost guy from the movie! Cloud's friend, the one that died!" Crystal began ranting and raving, trying to get me to understand.

"You know, he died to save Cloud" added Jamie.

Slowly it began to sink in. Why I hadn't put two and two together, I didn't know. Or maybe I did, and somehow it came out to be five. Either way, I was an idiot. Zack had even thought talked about it. He really did look like the ghost from the movie…

"Wow" I chuckled. "I am a slow one"

"Yeah!" Both my sister and my friend cheered at once.

"Is he alive?" Crystal begged. "Can we see him?"

"Can I touch his ass?" Jamie pleaded with me.

Solemnly, I shook my head. "He's not alive; he's this ghost… an angel that comes to visit me in my dreams. I wish you guys could see him, but I think my dreams are the only place…"

I began to slow down. There was a shadow at the door. Someone I knew who stood on the other side, listening, stoic and silent. The shadow moved on.

I remembered Zack when he and I first made our deal. He asked me to take care of his friend. So, he and Sephiroth were friends?

"Hey, guys?" I began. "Did Sephiroth and Zack know each other?"

"Did they ever!" Jamie joked.

"They were like war buddies in SOLDIER." Crystal told me. The two looked to each other, then back to me.

"Okay, so we told you the major part of the story" Jamie began.

"Now, let's give you the details"

I wasn't sure I would like this.

_If you love someone, put their name in a circle, instead of a heart. _

_Hearts can break, but circles go on forever._

Anonymous


	11. Another World? Part Two

_**CHAPTER ELEVEN**_

**Another World…? Part Two**

It felt cold and desolate outside in the dark. Or at least I was blaming the dark. Who else could be to blame, unless I blamed myself?

With a sigh, I pulled my jacket around me tighter.

It was night time of our first day staying at the strange house in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't very dark yet, and I was counting down the hours to our leaving. Bored, I sat huffing on the front porch with the scarecrow.

My mind was deep in thought. I had learned more about Sephiroth today; I wasn't sure if I'd grown to respect him more, or to fear him. Part of me would always fear him, but that was because I was a nervous wreck.

Zack Fair and Sephiroth; Zack was there when Sephiroth went insane and destroyed that town.

Why didn't you tell me, Zack?" I sighed, my eyes drooping.

If Sephiroth had gone insane in the other world, why wasn't he crazy now? Was it because Jenova was gone? Or because he had died? It didn't sound like a question I could walk up and ask him.

_Hey, Sephy, how are you? Oh, just wanted to know why you aren't a psychopathic megalomaniac anymore._

Oh yeah. Great conversation starter. Huffing, I pulled my legs to my chest.

The screen door creaked open; I looked up to see someone I didn't recognize. "Good evening" He smiled, sitting down beside me in the rocking chair. Undoubtedly he was the third member of the household… Brian, wasn't it?

"I hear you are one of many guests in our household" He murmured politely.

"Then you must be Brian" I surmised.

Brian was very different compared to his friends; they were both rough around the edges, yet he was polite and smooth. His hair was dark, almost blue colored, long and pulled into a ponytail; it contrasted his pale skin and soft eyes. Lithe, yet strong and tall, he was a handsome one, kind and fatherly.

"You must be Samantha" I noticed Brian had trouble pronouncing my name, as if it were foreign to him. We shook hands.

"I guess the others were talking about me behind my back!" I joked, smiling.

"Only the tallest one. Sephiroth, I believe." I blushed and bit my lip, biting down my come back when I heard Sephiroth's name.

"What… what did he say?" Was he upset about Zack?

"You seem to value his opinion" Brian smirked, leaning back on the chair. "He had only kind, loving words to say. Whenever he spoke of you, it was with a faraway look. I doubt he even knew he was so distracted when thinking of you."

"Oh" I felt my insides turn to a warm mush. "You live in a strange place" Changing the subject, I looked past Brian to the scarecrow. He followed my gaze and chuckled.

"It is nice, I suppose" Brian smiled. "Its home. How about you? Where is your home?"

Laughing, I shrugged. "The road is my home for now, I guess."

"And your friends?"

My heart almost stopped. "You'd have to ask them" I covered shyly, losing my confidence.

Chuckling at my sudden lost interest, Brian looked out at the fading sky. "I suppose they aren't from around here." His eyes swirled with many things I didn't recognize, but then, I didn't know him very well.

"I use to live far away" Brian whispered, brushing his hair back from his face. "With a wife and a daughter." Smiling kindly, he looked over at me. "You remind me of her"

"Your wife?"

"My daughter"

This surprised me a bit. He sat silently.

"So do you all have a destination in mind?" I smiled.

"Not really, but I suppose we have an idea" Placing my head in my hands, I watched the stars as they appeared one by one. I kept an eye out for Gaia.

"We all want to start a new life together" I told Brian. "Away from the past"

"A new life as a brothers and sisters, or do you have a different plan?" His tone of voice was suggestive, yet kind. I gulped.

"I suppose my feelings are not the same for all the members of our family." Smiling a little, I rocked back and forth. "I am only one of two girls traveling with the group, yet… I want to hope he only looks at me with those eyes; those protective, impassioned eyes. I really care for him, but I know so little about him. He's an enigma, the man in the black cape. And that only pulls me closer to him."

"You should tell him how you feel about his secrets. He may open up to you" Looking up to Brian, I wondered about his own romance.

"What about you and your wife? What was she like?"

Sighing, Brian shook his head. "An angel… she was an angel incarnate, fallen from heaven into my arms. I regret I had such a short amount of time with her, but I received from that short time my beautiful daughter. Shy and unsure of her own strength… oh, you so remind me of her."

"Yeah, that's like my I suppose" Sadly, I chuckled shaking my head.

Standing, Brian walked over to the railing, setting his elbows on it. "The sun has set. Will you all be leaving?"

"Yes"

I hadn't spoken. Spinning around, Sephiroth himself stood in the doorway. I hadn't really seen him all day, and he had a bag in his hand. Food probably given to him by Aaron or something.

"We're leaving?" I pouted. Sephiroth looked down on me.

I was shocked. For some reason, his eyes were dark, his emotions closed off from me. He was being very sheltered, very quiet and stoic. I stood.

"Thank you for spending time with me" I whispered to Brian, patting his shoulder. I stepped down the stairs.

"Don't let him brush you off, talk to him" Brian murmured to me.

Everyone was coming out of the house.

0-0-0-0-0-0

_Only as high as I reach can I grow,_

_Only as far as I seek can I go,_

_Only as deep as I look can I see,_

_Only as much as I dream can I be.  
_

**Karen Ravn**

We packed the few belongings we had and the food they gave us, and were ready to go. Kadaj hopped into the driver's seat, with Loz sitting next to him. In the very back, Yazoo sat in the middle of Jamie and Crystal, and with a laugh, I felt very sorry for him. Jamie was talking a mile a minute and Crystal was digging around in the seat, looking for something.

"Thank you for having us" I bowed to Aaron, Jack, and Brian in turn, smiling broadly. As short as our stay was, I enjoyed their company.

"Thank you" Sephiroth repeated.

"Hey, it was nothin, we were glad to have some better company other than just Mr. Silent Rock over here" Jack joked, nudging Aaron's side. Aaron grumbled.

"Good bye!" Jamie called, leaning out of the car window. Kadaj smiled and honked the horn. Brian waved.

"Thanks again!" I called, walking towards the van. I reached out for the door handle to open it, and then – the door wasn't there. Smoke was streaming out of the pipe of the car, and the wheels began to turn. In a second, it was driving off.

"What the –?" I spat, looking around in confusion. Sephiroth was at my side in a second, grimacing.

"Kadaj!" He called angrily, growling. The boy waved and drove off, leaving us both in the dust.

"Hehe, well, you're welcome to stay here" Brian laughed nervously. I didn't speak; I was dumbfounded.

"No" Sephiroth growled, taking tight hold of my hand. "We'll catch up"

0-0-0-0-0-0

_And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. _

We were silent as we treaded the dirt road; our feet dirty and dust spiraling up into our faces. I kept my head down besides, rubbing the dust from my eyes when it got bad. I couldn't stand to look up at him. Was he mad at me? Would he ever speak to me again? I should never have inquired about Zack. I could've asked him myself. Maybe he was disappointed that I didn't talk to him, face to face.

His grip on my hand never faltered nor wavered. As nervous as I was, it was a reminder of his great strength, strength he stood behind me with. His great frame protected me, his arms kept me warm. I had to remember that as much as I thought I did not deserve it, he cared for me… for some reason.

A tear dripped down my face. How could I know so little about a man I loved so much? It was like falling in love with a silhouette.

Suddenly, he stopped walking, and his grip tightened. His hand moved up my arm, to my wrist, to my elbow.

I bit my lip, and didn't look up, even though I was coughing because of the dust. I saw his hand move up to my chin, and without resistance, he turned me to look at him.

"You mad at me?" I asked, looking at his shoulder, not his face. A grim frown was on his face that much I knew. His touch was so warm.

"Mad?"

"I … I didn't tell you about Zack" I whispered. "Aren't you mad?"

We stood silent, unmoving. I dared look into his eyes.

They were sad. Almost angry with himself, wavering. He pulled me into his arms.

"I am not angry with you. Only…" He sighed against my neck, rubbing his cheek against my skin. I waited his answer. "Hearing of Zack threw me. I've been wading through memories all day."

"You can confide in me" I told him, leaning away. "You don't have to lock it up"

"They are not memories to speak of"

"Then what memories are?" I demanded, stepping out of his hold. "I understand. Your life sucked. Your dad was a psycho, your mom died, and then this crazy alien lady claimed to be your mom and drove you nuts. That sucks. It sucks to be alone. But you aren't anymore."

Sephiroth opened his mouth to speak, but didn't seem to have anything to say. So I continued.

"I want to be with you. Damn, I want it more than anything, for you to really… care for me. I want to know you. But every time I move closer, you move farther away. You're scared. Admit it. You're afraid that everything's going to screw up somehow. You know, it just might. But if you don't even try to give yourself a chance at having a good life, you'll never have one at all."

There were tears in my eyes and I could barely believe what I was saying, what I was revealing to him. "I love you" I whispered. "I don't want to watch you torture yourself"

I turned away, biting my lip, really hating myself for what I'd said. Sephiroth probably wouldn't be happy having all his flaws thrown in his face. Well, I hadn't thrown all of them. That would take a while.

Realizing that, I smiled a bit. Maybe… I knew him a little better than I had given myself credit for. I may not know his interests or hobbies (if he had any) but I sure as hell knew his faults. His big head, his sleeping in, his morning attitude, his solitude, his arrogance, and his snooty smirk, all of that…

When I turned to look at him as I thought this, to my surprise, that "snooty smirk" was planted firmly on his face. This surprised me greatly.

A single tear rolled down his cheek. He didn't wipe it away, but he chuckled. "You care too much" He sighed. Silver hair floating in his eyes, he shook his head.

Sephiroth stepped up to me, and I tried to back up. But he rushed up and took hold of my wrist, pulling me to him. He smelled so nice, and his chest felt so good against mine my knees almost buckled.

"I'm sorry" Sephiroth whispered weakly against my neck, rubbing his cheek against my skin. "I don't always know what to say, or how to tell you how I feel. My past is not something I enjoy revealing, but I… I should know you better. I can trust you."

Smiling, I nodded. "You don't have to tell me everything all at once. Tell me as you're ready"

He nodded his arms around my waist as we rocked to and fro. Suddenly, he picked me up in his arms.

"Hey!" I complained, trying to kick and get out. He adjusted me so I was facing his shoulder, that way, I couldn't kick. "Put me down!"

Laughing at my predicament, Sephiroth smirked down at me arrogantly. "I don't want my darling angel to get dirty."

"Dirty? Ha, I can handle it."

"But can I?"

We shared a laugh and we walked on, towards the horizon, and even though our friends had most likely planned this and left us in the dust, we didn't care; we'd catch up eventually, and get our revenge then.

I thought eventually he'd put me down, but then, I forget Sephiroth's strength; we kept walking. In my drifting thoughts, I remembered a poem I'd read a while ago and began reciting it quietly as I looked at the sky.

**"**_We will meet again my friend,__a hundred years from today. __Far away from where we lived and where we used to play. We will know each others' eyes and wonder where we met." _Sephiroth looked down at me. "It's a poem I like" I told him.

_  
"Your laugh will sound familiar_

_  
Your heart, I won't forget._

_We will meet, I'm sure of this,_

_  
But let's not wait til then..._

_  
__Let's take a walk beneath the stars_

_  
And share this world again."_

"Beautiful" He told me, caressing the small of my back. He set me down.

"I see something on the horizon" Sephiroth smirked, looking down at me. I turned and looked out.

It looked like a van; a van face down in a ditch.

Kadaj looked back to see his brother and sister angrily coming towards them.

"I think we need to move faster…" He spoke nervously as Loz attempted to get the van out of the ditch.

"You want to go faster, _you lift the van_!"

0-0-0-0-0-0

Once Sephiroth helped them get the van out of the ditch, and he made sure Kadaj hadn't broken it, we all decided Kadaj was NOT allowed to drive anymore. Also, even though we couldn't really punish Jamie and Crystal, we made Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj push the van along the road since it wouldn't drive. Jamie and Crystal sat in the very back, snickering to themselves. I ignored them.

As we slowly and steadily rolled down the road, I looked over to Sephiroth. "So, what do you want to do when we get to Gaia?"

He smirked, looking out the front window. His legs were stretched out along the seat, and I was curled up between his feet. Resting his elbow on the window, he smirked.

"Well, I suppose I'll settle down." He smiled, looking over at me with suggestive eyes. "I wouldn't mind settling down with you"

"How so?" I asked, backing away to the window slightly. Sephiroth sat up, pulling his legs in.

"How so?" Sephiroth's voice was deep, husky. Crawling over to me, he pressed his chest against me as I pulled my knees up as protection. Either one of his arms were on either side of me. Looking up at me through his silver hair, I shivered. "Well, a man usually settles down once he marries the woman he loves"

I gasped, losing all the air in my lungs. "You mean it?"

"Between now and then, I will court you. You may learn all you wish to learn about me. Once we finally return home… well, I …" For the first time, he seemed embarrassed, red in the cheeks.

I was crying for the second time that day, but I didn't mind at all. I was shaking and sobbing happily. "Oh, Sephiroth! Yes! Yes!"

Throwing my arms around him, I laughed in delight; I could hear clapping coming from the back, but I didn't care. Sephiroth's shyness seemed to melt into joy, and he laughed, holding me against him.

When I closed my eyes, I heard Sephiroth's laughter, deep, so deep my chest shook with his. But also, I heard a lighter laughter, joyous and exuberant. Behind my closed eyes, I saw a form come into view, laughing happily as he grinned and shook his head at me.

"You did it!" Zack cheered happily.

_I knew you could save him. He may have always had one wing, but you are the one who really makes him soar!_

…

_In a non perverted sort of way._


	12. Saying Goodbye

It was a long dirt road, with clouds of dust floating along it. A small form was walking through it, and the little chime of a bell could be heard.

It was a cat. Around its neck a little bell bounced. As it mewed and continued to saunter down the dirt path, the white cat faded away into the dust clouds.

_**CHAPTER TWELVE**_

**Goodbye, Planet Earth **

_If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction._

_  
__-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer._

I think I was floating along in something.

I was cold. Or, whatever I was floating in was cold. Something was in front of my eyes; it was like a black curtain fluttering in the wind, just behind my eyelids. Even as I slowly came out of my stupor and tried to speak, the coldness became colder. I flailed and sputtered, tried to find something in the dark.

My ears caught the sound of something far away, rippling through the air. As I blinked, I could almost see someone behind the fluttering black curtain.

_Hello?_

_Anyone?_

It was a woman with blonde hair, and she was turned away from me. She almost looked lost, afraid, confused. I wondered what happened to her, and if that was what was happening to me.

_But I can't die yet_, I thought. _Sephiroth and I are going to marry._

Twisting and turning, trapped in the thin black sheet, I reached out. I tried to make sense of what the woman was saying.

_Cloud? Where are you?_

With a strange gasp, I woke up, snapping up off the floor. I was not actually awake; my dream was over. I was sitting on the edge of the cliff with Zack. He looked like he was deep in thought when I appeared.

Rubbing my eyes, I yawned. That alerted him to my appearance.

_**"SAAAAM!!!"**_

I was immediately and profusely "glomped", Zack flying through the air to wrap his arms around me. Slammed into the ground, I groaned and tried to pry him off, but there was no moving him.

"I can't believe it, you guys are gonna get married! I gotta be the best man!"

Grinning as he sat up and pulled me to my feet, I agreed with him. "I'll get you to that wedding somehow"

Zack seemed to wake to reality as a dull sadness appeared in his joy filled eyes. "No… no, that's fine. I'll be happy to watch the wedding from here!"

"I won't be happy with that! You've got to be there!" Giggling, I walked past him, arms behind my back, to look out to the canyon. Silently, I looked over the beautiful view.

Zack was looking me over with a small smile. Chuckling a little, he shuffled his feet, before walking up to me. Then he walked back. Then he chuckled again, and walked forward.

"Zack?" I asked him, my eyes faraway.

"Yeah?"

"Sephiroth, he… he said we'd met before." Zack gave me a strange look, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know how" Zack told me. "That couldn't have happened"

Chuckling a little, I nodded. "Of course. It's … impossible"

_For what is it to die, but to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?_

_-- Khalil Gibran._

0-0-0-0-0-0

After a while, Sephiroth tired of torturing his brothers by forcing them to push the car along the road. I didn't really think it was funny, though Crystal kind of did, so I was happy to see them when the tired three crawled into the van. Using some sort of shiny gem thing Crystal called material, or something, Sephiroth powered the van, at least for a while.

It was a painstakingly long drive. Somehow, the scenery didn't change. I could fall asleep, wake up an hour later, look out my window, and – oh, look, more _rocks_.

At some point though, Jamie nudged me and nodded to the window. I noticed the van was slowing down. Climbing over my brother, I ignored his complaints and stepped outside.

Sephiroth looked funny. Head cocked to the side, one eyebrow disappearing into his bands, he was staring at something. Peeping out from behind my fiancé, I looked at what he was confused over.

It was a sign; you know, like those green ones on the side of the road. "Welcome to…" Wherever, or "You are leaving" so and so. This sign read, "You are leaving Earth". It also said, "Welcome to Nowhere"

I tried squinting to reread the sign. Nope. It still said "Welcome to Nowhere", and not "Welcome to Gaia". Damn.

"So, we're leaving?"

I looked back; Jamie was standing behind Crystal, and both looked a bit detached, yet forlorn. Sighing, I stepped up to them, placing a hand on both their shoulders. My heart was hurting too, from all sorts of things; memories, attachment; I think I might've also had indigestion, but that's a different story.

"I wish I could've seen Mom and Dad one last time" Jamie whispered as the three of us walked behind the van, looking down the dirt road that led home. Jamie and I use to visit our parents graves every year. I stopped going; he didn't.

"Yeah" I mumbled somberly, not truly regretting the fact I hadn't mourned at Dad's grave. I didn't really remember Dad in the best light.

"Wish I'd had one more Heinekken" Crystal sighed sarcastically, with a grin.

"Hah – I'm sure they have booze in Gaia!" Jamie commented, and we all laughed.

"Oh, and they have tea, too" Crystal grinned. Jamie chortled.

"Yup, gotta drink your damn tea" the two laughed. I was lost.

Crystal stepped to the back of the van. When she opened it, Loz was asleep on the left side. Shaking her head as she climbed into the van, Crystal gave the man a peck on the forehead. Then, she opened the cooler and pulled out some sodas.

Jamie and I thanked her, as she sat on the edge of the van and Jamie sat up there with her. I stood beside them.

"I'm gonna ride the rest of the way back here, with Loz" Crystal whispered. "I want to watch it fade into the distance"

"Not me" Jamie mumbled, taking a swig of his coke. "I was never good with long goodbyes"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_"If you are going through hell, keep going."_

Sir Winston Churchill

"We need a new car"

Moaning and shaking his head, Yazoo kicked the van. It sputtered and gave off smoke. Kadaj was sulking by the driver's door and Crystal was slowly and repeatedly banging her head against the window.

"What do we do?" Jamie asked, shaking his head. Sephiroth walked up to us.

"We ought to find what we're looking for, long as we're sure of what we want" Smirking, Sephiroth stalked towards the back of the van, motioning for his brothers to follow.

"I don't get it" Crystal muttered.

"He means that this is a spiritual place. If we look for something, this place outta deliver it to us" I tried to explain it as we stepped back into the car. Jamie was already sitting down.

"Try speaking with little words, maybe baby will get it better!" Jamie giggled with a slow, childish voice. Crystal smacked his face and sat down beside him, placing her legs in his lap.

The van began to move. Sephiroth was running out of material what – its, so the boys were back behind the van, this time with Sephiroth's help. "I hope we find a garage or something soon" I whispered.

I wanted to talk with Sephiroth again.

0-0-0-0-0-0

It didn't take me long to fall back to sleep.

"Hey, Zack?"

"Hmm?"

Looking over at me with his legs crossed, Zack had a curious look on his face. "I was just wondering… have you seen anyone else out here?" This confused him.

"What do you mean?" Flushed in the face, I scratched my head.

"It's just… I saw this woman the last time I was here. She looked really confused… lost. I just wondered if you saw her."

I could tell by the look in his dark eyes Zack was concerned. That warmed my heart. I was glad he cared. "I haven't seen anyone else but you"

"Oh" My head fell. "I just… wondered."

"Why?"

Eyes glittering in memories, I placed my arms across my knees and leaned my chin against them. My hair fell in front of my eyes.

"She looked like my mother"

0-0-0-0-0-0

Eventually they were all too tired to push. So, they all got back in, smelling the place up with sweat, and Sephiroth used – what did he call it – his mana, his own magic, to keep it going. I couldn't talk to him – his eyes were closed like he was sleeping, but you could tell by the concentrated look on his face he wasn't.

Loz was back in the back with Crystal, and Jamie and I were sitting beside each other, playing.

"Go fish"

Reaching into the pile, I huffed and blew the hair out of my face. Jamie simply grinned, bouncing in his seat.

"Two's?" I asked Kadaj. His hand was so crowded I would be surprised if he didn't have anything. I didn't get to find out though.

"Hey guys" Yazoo leaned back from the front seat. "We've found something" He was grinning ear to ear. Yazoo was sweat covered, exhausted, but very happy nonetheless.

0-0-0-0-0-0

It was a few big buildings, clumped together. Our dilapidated, beaten van slid to a halt, dust whirling through the air. When it stopped, a hub cap fell off. I was surprised when the engine didn't burst into flames.

Jamie and I leapt out, followed by an eager Kadaj.

Yawning, Crystal leapt out of the back of the van, picked up her flip flop that had fallen off, turned and threw it at Loz's face. "Wake up call come on, muscle head!" The man groaned and threw the shoe back twice as strong, but Crystal just caught it.

The largest building was an enormous garage, and beside it, connected by a small door, was a rather large house. A separate garage was to the side, and in the middle was a car port. Above the larger garage read a large, bright blue sign that said "THE SEA SALT MECHANICS". I had thought it was a weird name, but I wouldn't know weird until I met the house's inhabitants.

0-0-0-0-0-0

_A thousand miles seems pretty far_

_But they got planes and trains and cars_

_I'd walk to you if I had no other way_

- Hey There Delilah


	13. The Sea Salt Mechanics

_**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**_

**The Sea Salt Mechanics**

_"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."_

- Joseph Addison

"Hello?" I called into the emptiness of the looming, dark garage.

"Hello?"

Behind me, the others stepped in. The garage was a wreck, very well lived in. Kadaj knocked over a half empty soda can when he walked in. Spider webs attached themselves to Loz's head, and he grumbled as he attempted to remove them. Crystal's hand drifted over one small car in the garage.

"Does anyone still live here?" She whispered.

Kadaj lifted the now empty can. "This is fresh" He told them.

I continued looking around. "Hello? Anyone?"

Attached to the ceiling was a hammock, ratty and covered in blankets. One blanket was covered in rainbows, the other blue and quilted. It was like someone had raided a child's bedroom. At first, it looked like a weird, floating hamper. Then I heard another snore.

"Is the mechanic sleeping up there?" Kadaj wondered. He was thinking along the same lines as I was.

Sephiroth groaned and unsheathed Masamune. It was more then long enough to reach up to the hammock on the ceiling. Jabbing the bundle with the hilt of the blade, Sephiroth called up to it.

"Sir? We are customers, is the garage open?" The sign on the door said it was, but the entire building seemed vacant.

The bundle grumbled, moving a little. Frowning I looked to Sephiroth. He huffed and jabbed the bundle a little more insistently. Behind us, a sleepy Loz and cranky Crystal walked up. Seeing our problem and finding a chance to be irritating, Crystal seized Masamune, flipped it around, and jabbed the bundle with the sharp end.

Whoever it was in the bundle gave a sharp howl, flipping around in his bundle of blankets before crashing down to the cement floor below. I cringed, and turned around to glare at Crystal. As soon as I did, my eyes went wide. A major change had occurred with Sephiroth. Almost as soon as the blade was snatched from his gloved fingers, he gave an animalistic growl. He looked ready to maim Crystal, as soon as he stole the sword back. I stepped up to interfere, but I needn't do so; Loz was immediately standing between his big brother and my best friend.

Sighing deeply, I shook my head. "Loons"

Snatching the sword from Crystal, I handed it to Sephiroth and gave him a look. Then, forsaking the three, I turned about and headed towards the moaning bundle of blankets across the way. "You okay?" Pulling the blankets back, I saw that the mechanics fall had been… well, "blanketed" by the childish blankets he used. It was a he; a blonde haired, lanky boy with a mullet. Once he'd regained his senses, he stood, still a little woozy.

"Oh, I'm – I'm fine!" He insisted, shaking it off. "Really, I've got a hard head – it'll take a lot more than a fall to break this nut!" For emphasis he knocked on his head twice. I giggled; he was a cute kid. When I laughed the boy smiled, and gave me that "look". "Umm… miss? Uh, what's your name?"

Before I could respond to the boy, I felt a sudden chill and an angry need to kill. A looming presence was over my shoulder. Rolling my eyes, I turned around; and sure enough…

Sephiroth was jealous.

In the back corner of the garage, Kadaj opened the empty metal trashcan next to him, stepped into it, and began lowering himself in, placing the lid on his head. Jamie looked at him, blinking in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Preparing for the apocalypse" He muttered darkly.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"What are you doing?" Sephiroth muttered insistently, leering at the boy over my shoulder.

"I was helping him. Ms. Sword Happy sent him falling onto the cement a minute ago" I crossed my arms and glared at Crystal.

"He's hitting on you" Sephiroth growled between clenched teeth.

"I know – he's a kid" I shook my head. "He's an innocent guy, sweet as can be – he's no harm"

"Tell him you're not interested" Sephiroth demanded with an order like tone. I gave him that wide eyed, oh no you didn't, look.

"He'll get the picture, I'm not gonna hurt the boy" I told Sephiroth just as insistently as he'd "ordered" me.

Sephiroth glowered at me. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he caught it. "Hou hare ah big bruhthe" I spat thickly with him holding my tongue. It was hard to talk that way.

A voice in the back of my head whispered to me. I knew it was Sephiroth, taking advantage of the "connection" we shared. _There are better uses for that tongue_, He told me. A collage of images bombarded me, images I'd only dreamt of, dirty things that a husband and wife shared. My knees almost buckled. Sephiroth had let go of my tongue, and I was looking away as the images overwhelmed me. I kept my cool. He wanted me to lose control. I wouldn't. Before I could smack him, a hand came between Sephiroth and me.

"Excuse me" The boy from earlier shyly and politely looked to us. "I think you said you needed a mechanic" The kid was smooth, standing up for me without dealing with the wraith of "big badass". I could've taken Sephiroth on. Then again, if we fought, it would only end up making him… you know. One thing I'd learned about Sephiroth was he thought anger and attitude was hot.

Sephiroth calmed himself, looking back to the van. He and the boy began talking about the machine's problems, walking away, and I made to disappear towards Jamie and Kadaj.

Jamie knocked on the lid of the trashcan. "Apocalypse over"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Um, miss?"

I was lying on top of the van thinking when I heard the mechanics voice hit my ears. He was under the van. Crawling to the edge of the roof, I looked over to see him looking up at me.

"Um, about my earlier question… I still don't know your name, miss"

I smiled. He was cute. "I'm Sam"

"Oh, okay"

"Yours?"

"My what?"

Laughing, I shook my head at the little dork. "Your name"

He flushed with embarrassment. "Oh yeah! – hehe, my name's Dyme"

Dyme. What a peculiar named, I though.

My stomach rumbled. Clutching it, I grumbled under my breath. All the food Brian, Aaron, and Jack had given us was eaten up.

"Are you hungry?" Dyme asked, about to slide back under the van. "Go down that hall, and into the house. The first rooms the kitchen"

Thanking him, I got off the roof. "Thank you Dyme, you're sweet"

The boy's eyes became very wide, and his blush profound as he watched me walk away. I was glad I could make the boy happy.

I regretted it when I had to walk past Sephiroth into the kitchen. "You're encouraging him"

"I'm being nice" I retorted. Slamming the door behind me, I left all thoughts of Sephiroth and his stick up the butt attitude behind me. It was time for some food.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_Sure, let's live today, let's live tomorrow and let's live the day after that - even if it means living in eternal pain._

_  
_- Vash the Stampede from _Trigun_

A piece of cold pizza was what I decided to eat; Dyme's fridge was full of take out food. It was quiet in the house, but really nice and clean. It was large, so I supposed Dyme didn't live alone. But why live in the garage when the house is so big?

I felt eyes on me. I didn't think it was Sephiroth he was outside. Turning around, I was surprised to see a young girl. She was maybe fourteen, dressed in a large white shirt and shorts, which were covered in paint.

"Oh, hello" She smiled, her eyes bright. "Are you a customer? My name's Namine"

"I'm Sam" I told her, lifting my hand to shake hers. She looked down to her palms.

"You probably don't want to shake hands with me, I'm covered in paint" Laughing, she wiped her hands off on her shirt. I moved aside so she could reach the sink.

"So you're an artist?" She nodded and began cleaning her hands.

"Guess it's kind of obvious, huh?" Laughing, Namine dried her hands off and moved away from the counter. "Want to see some of my work?"

I heartily agreed, and she showed me to the upstairs area of the house.

At the end of the hall upstairs was an enormous room. To one side was a wide open space with canvases and finished art, and a huge window. The other side looked like a bachelors den, made up of video games, movies, a TV, and a sofa.

On the sofa were two teenage boys. The red head was tall, and sprawled across the sofa, while a shorter blonde was leaning against it on the floor. I wondered why they were here, and Dyme was downstairs, sleeping alone in the hammock…

"This is my work" Namine smiled, waving around the room. They were quite beautiful; the work almost seemed ready to come alive. One was a butterfly on a leaf, another a woman in a park. One was a group of people. I recognized Dyme, and the two near the sofa. Namine was in it as well, so she must've been painting from the reference of a photograph.

"You're a wonderful artist" I whispered, in awe of the work. She blushed and smiled.

"Thank you"

Turning around, I looked to the sofa. "Your friends?"

She nodded.

Sounds came from the doorway, like a stampede almost. Dyme opened the door wide, breathing hard. He glanced around as if he were looking for someone. "Hey, Namine, have you seen – oh!" Dyme calmed, blushing. "Sam! Uh… your friends are looking for you"

I nodded and looked to Namine. She looked to Dyme. He was kind of standing there.

We both looked at him. He shuffled his feet.

"Oh!" He gasped, looking flustered. "And I need Lea's help on the car"

Namine looked over to the red head on the sofa and then back to Dyme. "We'll be right down!"

_Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turned, _

_Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned._

William Congreve (1670-1729)

The van was fixed! Dyme had worked his hardest and done his best; all that was left to do, Dyme handed over to Lea; he was so tired he couldn't handle any more work. Lea was up to the job, once he was up.

Lea was your typical teenage punk with his sly smirk and baggy clothes. I enjoyed punks; they were amusing to say the least. I only ever knew one in my life, since I lived in hickville; his name was Jacob, and I met him in Atlanta. Laid back, mellow, a rocker. I never knew him well, he always liked Jamie better.

He walked outside and cracked his knuckles, ready to work. Crystal walked by talking to Jamie, and Lea gave her the once over.

"Hey there" He smirk grinned, like a rogue, then, he waved a little with that debonair look. Crystal gave him the finger. Shrugging, Lea got to work. "Can't win em all"

I watched as Dyme sat over in the corner and talked to Lea as the latter worked. Eventually Lea noticed me, and nodded. "Who're you, girly?" He asked.

Dyme answered for me. "That's Sam" He said, seemingly eager. Lea looked back to me.

"The name's Lea" He grinned, saluting. "Got it memorized?"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Lea and Dyme were hard workers, and though Dyme was a pushover, Lea went easy on him. They were very much like brothers, so I wondered why Dyme slept alone while the friends slept inside.

I heard my name. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo were calling me. I ran over.

"Hey sis" Loz smiled. I nodded.

"Hey yourself" Grinning suggestively, I poked him with my elbow. "So – you and Crystal, huh?" Loz blushed and looked away with a small smile. Kadaj laughed.

"You thought it wasn't obvious?" Yazoo smirked arrogantly.

"What? What? What, what, what?" I rolled my eyes when Jamie jumped into the conversation.

"We were just commenting on Loz and Crystal's relationship" Kadaj informed him.

"Ah, the cutie pie couple of the year! This year's Brad and Angelina! The brawn and the beauty! What a pair!" Jamie could go on forever. I think he got all the talking genes.

"You're embarrassing him, Jamie" I nudged my brother. He laughed sheepishly.

"So, when are we leaving?" Kadaj muttered, ending the old conversation. Loz mouthed a silent thank you to him.

"I don't know about you" Crystal leapt into the conversation. "But I don't wanna travel who knows how far with a pissed off General" She wagged her arm in Sephiroth's general direction. He was seething in the back corner. I was about to roll up my sleeves and stomp over there when Loz took hold of my arm.

"For the sake of all that is good, don't do it" He pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

Huffing, I slid my sleeves down and let the matter rest.

_For now._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_Silence is argument carried out by other means._

Ernesto"Che"Guevara (1928-1967)

We ended up taking up the invitation to stay overnight at Lea, Namine, and Dyme's house. The fourth member of the household, who I learned was named Sora, had disappeared upstairs. We all made ourselves at home; Jamie and Lea were jabbering away, Yazoo and Kadaj were looking at Namine's art; Loz and Dyme were playing video games. Crystal walked by me towards the fridge.

"I feel like I know these people" She told me. "You know? How Sephy is a video game guy? I think these guys are, too. I know Namine is. Does that mean Aaron and them were, too? Wow… makes me feel like an n00b as a gamer, Y'know?"

"They are from video games" Jamie entered the conversation. "'Aaron', and 'Brian', and 'Jack'; they're Auron, Braska, and Jecht from Final Fantasy X; didn't you ever play that?" The conversation had become a geekathon between Jamie and Crystal.

"Oh! That came out in 2000, right? That was the summer that Dad shipped me out to Canada to live with mom! I didn't touch a PS2 for forever! And I never thought of the game when I came back, I leapt onto Final Fantasy Online!"

"And these guys?" I asked curiously.

"I know I know Namine…" Crystal offered, tapping her chin.

"Uhh…" Jamie pondered.

"Earlier Lea said this catchphrase" I mentioned. "Something about… 'Got it memorized'?"

Both people's eyes lit up.

"Kingdom Hearts!" They laughed.

"Makes sense!" Crystal giggled. "Wonder where Ro… Sora is?"

"Hey!" We all three looked across the room. Across the way, Lea was standing at the backdoor, waving at us. "Hey Jamie! Could ya come here for a sec?"

Jamie looked back at us and smiled. With a wave, he left after the red head, and Crystal moved away, leaving me to wonder why in the world I never caught on to that anime stuff.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Everyone in the living room was sitting in a circle, preparing to play truth or dare. I wanted to play, but first… I had business to attend to.

As I walked down the halls towards the bedrooms, I could almost feel Sephiroth's energy bouncing around. It was different from earlier; wasn't as direct, it was just there. It was just a bunch of feeling and energy, unfocused, kind of floating there. I would never have felt it had it not been so strong.

My hand hesitated on the doorknob. I had become stronger recently, but was I strong enough to face Sephiroth down? Then I remembered…

_He's my fiancé._

So with a sigh, I knew I couldn't just leave him. I turned the door, and entered the bedroom.

Suddenly hands were on my waist, I was pressed hard against the door, and a heavy weight was leaning on my abdomen.

"I must have you"


	14. Transformation

_**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**_

**Transformation**

I had never been so afraid in my life.

I loved Sephiroth. I really truly did. I was going to marry him. This was all truth.

Wasn't it?

Sephiroth's sudden change in behavior and his leap on me had scared me shitless. I had never gone farther than kissing a man. I couldn't do this. Not yet. What happened to the wedding night? What happened to our argument, to being mad at each other? My hands twitched as all these thoughts swirled like a maelstrom in my mind, and Sephiroth's hands traveled lightly up and down my hips.

"Seph – Sephiroth, wait"

His lips were just above my ear, and hearing my fearful, pleading voice, he ceased for a moment. Could he feel my fear? Was he ashamed? I was ashamed. Didn't I love him? And yet, all I wanted was to run away. What kind of fiancé… or wife… runs away from her husband's advances?

"I know it will hurt" Sephiroth told me, his grip on my hand becoming a reassuring one. "But it must be done"

"Why?" I pleaded. "Because some kid hit on me?"

The part of Sephiroth that was still a conniving, jealous super villain was coming alive. I had never seen this side of him before. His eyes were especially green. I didn't like it.

_Jenova… are you making him do this? Are you telling him to drive me away?_

Sephiroth was leaning towards my neck, liking his lips tentatively. Time seemed to be very slow, and my mind was almost on the breaking point.

_I can't do this. Not yet._

"Not yet, Sephiroth" I sobbed. "Please, not yet"

His tongue danced across my throbbing skin, near the base of my neck, and I heard him murmur something I couldn't understand. It sounded foreign, strange. He took hold of my hands, held them tight – and then his teeth broke the surface of my skin.

I'm not sure how long it took me to realize that Sephiroth's goal was something totally different from intercourse, but an even darker fear filled me when I did. His teeth feel like ice cubes, shooting terribly cold into my blood, and the cold spread, almost as if death was taking me cell by cell. My body was trembling and my ability to see began to fade. My vision was jumpy, blurred, and I couldn't speak. All my muscles were throbbing and twisting, and I heard people running up the steps, probably because they'd heard me scream.

My body wouldn't listen, I couldn't understand. As soon as the cold spread through my whole body, warmth began to fill me; not good warmth, terrible, hellish warmth, made me cringe and want to leave immediately. But I couldn't leave my body, and I couldn't get away from Sephiroth, no matter how hard I tried.

Then, once the cold and the heat melded together, into my heart, making my entire body feel like thick metal, he let me go. I fell to my knees, and he made no move to stop me. Looking up, I saw his bright eyes dim, almost as if the presence was leaving him. I didn't care who made him do whatever it was he did. I was _pissed_.

"What – Sam! S – Sam? No, god, no Sam, I –"

"Bastard!" I screamed. It wasn't my voice. Gasping, I reached for my throat. It felt different – a little stronger. The few wrinkles of age I had were gone.

"Samantha!" Crystal's piercing scream alerted me to reality and I sat up. It hurt terribly to do so, every muscle I had burned. Why? What had happened?

"My – my voice" It was my voice, but stronger, a little deeper. Stumbling to my feet, I dodged Kadaj and whoever else was trying to get to me – somehow I had the strength to toss Loz like a fly. I ran downstairs, to the only known mirror I'd seen in the house – the big one above the fireplace.

Sliding to a halt, I looked up with terribly fear and fury into eyes that were not mine.

They looked like snake eyes.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I was sure as hell different. Everything about me was kinda the same, but different. It was as if, if I were a drawing, someone had come in and used the old me as a basis, but changed everything, made me stronger, fiercer, more like a … I don't know.

My eyes were the same vivid green I had seen in Sephiroth's eyes. Every muscle I had had grown, not immensely, but enough to make me much stronger. My face was narrower, my skin paler, my thin hands a little quicker with reflexes. Everything was enhanced.

My hair … it was as silver as the moon's reflection on water.

I hated it. I realized that now, I had never expected Sephiroth to make me one of them. It should've been expected, but even then, I would've thought he'd explain, give comfort, instead of just jumping into it. The old me was gone; not even my own mother would recognize me. I hated it; where was I in that terrible, cold reflection? Those green eyes had engulfed whatever little bit of light had been left in them. Stamped out by Sephiroth himself. The man I had thought I was in love with…

How?

How did this happen?

How could he do this to me?

I looked away from the terrible green eyes to see many others on the staircase, a good five feet behind me. 

Kadaj looked the least surprised. Somehow, he probably realized Sephiroth would do this. Why didn't he warn me? For once, I felt like… hurting someone. My own brother.

Loz was behind him, totally confused. There he was, always a little behind everyone else… stupid.

Yazoo looked almost cold, but his eyes were wide. What? Come to stare at the freak?

Crystal was almost crying. Why was she crying? She wasn't the mutant freak in the room? And Namine and all her friends looked like they were herding cattle, trying to come down the staircase.

And there he was, his eyes devoid of all light, mouth agape, his look forlorn; Sephiroth standing on the bottom step.

What?

Are you realizing you just as well lost me?

Your last hope for happiness is gone, isn't it?

Why did I kid myself into thinking I needed an angel?

_Where were these awful thoughts coming from?_

I couldn't control the power, the flow flooding my veins. I heard voices in my head, and I knew it was her whispering those terrible thoughts. Sephiroth had passed his curse to me. She was in my head. My hand was twitching. Was it trying to reach that ornamental sword on the wall? Would she have me slice away at them, trying to kill those I had begun to call family? No… She would have me kill him. Did I not want to? My hand kept twitching…

Then the terribly echoing silence was broken. He was trying to mend the gap. Sephiroth had messed up, and he was flailing around, trying to grab hold of something and _fix this_. But he couldn't.

If he, as my fiancé, had asked me if I would join him in immortality, most likely I would have agreed. It was almost as if, if he and I had consensually gone to bed together, I would have been fine with it. But I wasn't fine with it; he raped me. That was as good as what it was. I could never be normal again. 

A tear fell down my cheek at the idea in my head. _I really wanted to kill him…_

I couldn't look at his sad eyes anymore, the eyes that looked so much like mine…

Using my newfound power, I sprinted away, through the glass window, out into the darkness, with voices calling after, tears falling down my face.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I don't know how far I ran. I only stopped running when my legs couldn't anymore. Half the time, my eyes were closed tight, stinging with tears. How had everything that had seemed so wonderful, gone so wrong?

She was laughing at me. Telling me I was being a fool. I was a coward, not strong enough. She didn't have to tell me that. I knew.

So, I fell to my knees, blood staining my jeans. I must've hurt my legs. The sight of my blood scared me. The last time I had seen blood was the mugger. Maybe I should've let death take me.

A picture of Sephiroth's face drifted through my mind. So beautiful… so fake. I fell in love with him, and he pulled me along, to this fate. Did he ever love me? He had to, hadn't he? If he had never loved me… the idea was enough to force my dinner out of me.

So I sat there, crouched over the floor, sitting in blood and covered in sweat, dry heaving long after I'd emptied my stomach. Where could I go? I had no one. Crystal and Jamie were far away. They were human. I wasn't. Where could I go? Nowhere.

Humans repulsed me now. No; I was repulsed by myself, so as to not remind myself I wasn't human, I stayed away from them. I couldn't go back to them. I regretted leaving them with Sephiroth, but… Kadaj would take care of them, wouldn't he? Loz would, I knew. Loz…

She was laughing at me again as I tried to pick up the pieces. Where could I go? was there no one else cursed with dreaded immortality?

I tried to think of the movie. Who in the movie was not human? Anyone?

There was the cat. The Red cat who could talk. And there was the doll, but I was pretty sure it was a machine, so it wouldn't have food, and food was what I needed. The cat might be hard to find…

Then I remembered. Back when life was normal and boring, and Crystal was just my agent, my editor, we had been looking over my book when she commented on him.

… _Just finished playing Dirge of Cerberus, which was okay, but I never liked shooters anyway, and man, I gotta say, Vincent's hotter than ever… Vincent's the one in the cloak, looks like a vampire? He's immortal…_

Immortal.

The one in the red cloak… he was Cloud's friend in the movie.

Immortal.

I had to find him.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast._

**Marlene Dietrich**

I was in the middle of nowhere. Where was I supposed to go? What was I supposed to do? How could I find him, when I wasn't even on his world? Didn't know where he lived?

She was smirking at me from the back of my head; still a little too weak to do much else. I hated her so much; probably not as much as Cloud did. She was giving me that look; _I can help you, but will you ask for it?_

I was a monster, so I might as well consort with monsters.

"Can you take me to him? Where is he?" I asked the empty air. My chest was heavy, my eyelids too.

There was silence. But when I blinked, I saw a picture. It was fuzzy, but I could make out a village and a large mansion there as well, sitting near a mountain. It looked familiar; _Nibelhiem_.

Though she gave me the message, I knew it was not free; why would she help me? I felt a sting in my chest.

_Take my gift. I want to watch the terrible story play out. I want to watch each actor fall._

How much I wanted to make her stop laughing. I so hated her. Apparently, … I was hating a lot of things recently. Even the one person I never thought I would hate… I pushed away the images as soon as they'd come. It was time to leave.

I had to find Vincent.

So, mustering whatever strength I had, I looked to the night sky. The green dot we had been following was huge, almost the size of the sun. I was surely close. So, turning towards the horizon, I began lumbering along, no longer able to use my inhumane strength.

My strength was zapped in a few hours. I fell to my knees and just laid on my back, unable to move, barely able to think. My angel was gone. I was alone for the first time in my life. But hadn't an angel always been with me? Before Sephiroth… there had been another…

As I faded away, a flutter of wings came near, and the falling feathers above me looked like snowflakes to my weak eyes. Heat filled me, the ever pleasing heat of another person, and my heart inflated to know I was not alone. At least for now, I was not alone.

"Oh, damn, Sephiroth…" Zack was sobbing. That alone was enough to awaken me.

"Zack…"

"Go to sleep" He whispered, his voice cracking. I must've been horrible to look at, blood, sweat, and bile covered… "I'll take care of you, just… oh god!"

I couldn't hear anymore. My ears had started to bleed.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

When I woke up, my body was bandaged, and I was clean. A few trees were around me, birds flew above. As soon as I groaned, a familiar face came near.

"Samantha?" It was Zack. Surprised I sat up.

"Zack?" I muttered, trying to take everything in. "Where are we?"

Smiling reverently, Zack took gentle hold of my hand and helped me into a sitting position. He smelled so nice, and his skin was warm… almost as if… Zack smiled and leaned me against him, preparing to stand.

"Welcome to Gaia, Samantha" He sighed. "Though I truly wish I wasn't the one to introduce you"

Looking around, I brushed a hand through the soil, I touched the trees and the flowers. "They don't like me" I murmured my eyes distant. "Their souls recoil at my very glance"

Zack looked on the verge of tears. "Sam, I … you're actually of Jenova now… Gaia… the planet… hates you."

Of course. Jenova and Gaia were like old enemies. And I was as good the last thing on Gaia with Jenova in it. So I left Earth and all its somber pain, to come to a new world alone, and even more hated. Hated by the wind and water and the world itself. Only a dead man to accompany me. How was he alive?

"Zack… why… how are you here?" I whispered my voice not very strong. Of course, it wasn't really… my voice.

He smiled, placed his hand on his fist. "I came to lead you to Nibelhiem. Once you're there… you won't need me. Course, there's a price to helping you… the years I have to live in my next life have been shortened a little but… that's fine. I want to help"

Ready to cry, I wiped my tears away. Looking up to Zack and I ran to him and hugged him tight.

"When I lived alone you were all I had" I whispered. "And now you're all I have, all over again" Sobbing, I held him tighter. "Don't leave my Zack"

Almost ashamed, Zack hugged me lightly. "I put this pain on you in the first place… if anyone, you should hate me"

"No!" Falling slowly to my knees, I clutched to him. "No! No, no, no, no…"

Cradling my sleeping body, Zack felt tears run down his cheeks. "What have I done? Why Sephiroth? Why did you break a broken girl?"

_When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. _

_We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us,_

_and only then do we forgive it._

**Lewis B. Smedes**


	15. The Rogue by the Stream

_**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**_

**The Rogue by the Stream**

_All love shifts and changes._

_I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time._

_  
_**Julie Andrews**

I could feel it in the back of my head as I watched my feet stumble beneath me; one step forward, one step forward… it was all I could do. It was almost like watching my mother die all over again, just taking one more step, one more step… my entire life was shifted, changed, the old life destroyed. All I could do was take one more step… not worry about whether or not the ground would support me, just knowing it was all I could do to keep going.

But I hadn't expected to feel it in the back of my head, even though I remembered we still had that… connection. He was obviously not using it, but I could feel him there. I still didn't know how … Sephiroth's mind and mine were connected, able to feel one another, but I could feel him off who knows where and the feeling was like plunging into ice cold water, and drowning. He was suffering. The cynical part of me where Jenova was residing was glad he was hurt. But I wasn't; I didn't have it in me to hate him, even though he'd … done whatever it was only hours ago. A transformation, maybe? A change. I wasn't human anymore, and it was his fault.

But Zack made me think as we walked. Was it really his fault? Or had Jenova been resting in him all along as she did now with me? Waiting for the time to strike? Why? Didn't she want her son to be happy?

"Sephiroth is Jenova's last chance to destroy Gaia, and be free" Zack told me as we headed towards Nibelhiem. "If she loses her sons to you, she's done for. But that tells you how much she fears you; instead of just using Sephiroth to kill you, she used him to transfer herself to you. She really wants to make sure you don't screw up whatever she has planned"

Oh I would screw it up. I would kill her.

(_when did I start thinking like that I've never killed anyone_)

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

As the days passed by I noticed that Zack was fading. I could kind of see trees and woods behind him, right through him. Almost as if he were becoming transparent, he began to disappear as the days passed. I didn't think he'd last to Nibelhiem.

Over the days, he told me a little about Gaia. I tried to talk as much as possible, to avoid the sea of emotions that was flowing from the connection with him.

"I think Rufus lives in Edge now, and Cloud and Tifa too" Zack spoke, smiling serenely. "Aeris' grave is in the City of the Ancients, and if we passed through the mountains and went north, we'd be able to visit her. But that's if you want to. The City might enlighten you" He was trying to help me think of what to do once I spoke to Vincent. I truly didn't know. I was doing my best to keep from spinning around and just running back, wanting to run back to him. But I wasn't going to make it easy for him. He hurt me. I wasn't allowed to love him right now.

So I stopped saying his name, and I stopped thinking him, and when I had dreams of him I blocked out the thoughts as soon as I woke up. Zack could tell I was wearing down, but we kept going. We didn't have any food, so we ate a few berries, and I tried out my skills against fiends in the woods.

The first monster I ever fought was … well, strange.

"Do. NOT. Let it hit you" Zack whispered, his eyes very wide and afraid.

"You've got to be kidding me" I sighed, rolling my eyes and abandoning my fighting pose.

It was a frog. Just a little frog, hopping around in front of us. Did Zack really think a frog was our enemy? Huffing, I shrugged, thinking Zack had finally lost it. Of course, I knew better when the frog leapt at me.

As soon as it touched me, I noticed I was much smaller. Zack killed it as it leapt back away from me, and then he looked down at me.

"Hey, I told you not to let it touch you" He laughed a little, thinking my predicament was funny.

"That wasn't an ordinary frog, one touch, and well… you're a frog" Sputtering, Zack turned away and began laughing at me. I stuck out my long tongue at him, unable to speak. A bug whizzed by. On instinct, my long tongue snapped at it, and to my disgust, I was EATING it! Zack kept laughing, almost in tears.

"I … Ha… I can't … oh my god… "I was going to smack him as soon as I was human. Which I was in a few minutes. The frog spell didn't last too long.

"Why was that so funny?" I retorted, hands on my hips. Kicking him, I turned away and stomped down the road. Zack was shaking his head and laughing at me.

"Because… on one of his first practice fits, Cloud let himself get changed, too."

Stopping, I looked over my shoulder. "Really? … Huh."

"Yup" Arms behind his head, Zack began walking again. I followed. "Cloud was all like, ' A frog? What the hell? I want a real monster!' Course, he failed the test! If he'd been a little more patient he might've made it into SOLDIER. Of course, looking back… that might not have been a good thing."

I shook my head at Zack. "You're weird"

He gave me a look. "Me? I didn't just change into a frog!"

Smacking his arm, I gave him a look, and he laughed again. Somehow… I laughed a little too.

I felt better.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Only maybe a day or more to Nibelhiem; you'll probably have to veer off the road for a little, since nobody goes to Nibelhiem anymore, there's no road into town. But you ought to be able to find it. Even if you don't, Vincent might find you. He's out a lot at night, so I've heard."

"How'd you hear?" I smirked. "You're dead"

Zack looked pompous. "I have my… sources"

"Uh huh"

Giving me a fatherly look, Zack dropped the playful act. I was in for it. Throwing a stick on the fire, Zack looked up to the sky.

"See that blue star, near the horizon?" He asked. Searching the sky, I looked for it. Before I found it, he spoke again.

"That's Earth"

As I searched, my eyes grew wide, and I found it. My surprise turned into a serene look. Zack smiled at the change, looking out at the star far away.

"You can always go back"

I turned to him. Laughing sarcastically, I shook my head. "No… I wouldn't fit in … anymore."

"You can always go back" He repeated a bit stronger. "You, and Jamie, and Crystal… and you could be normal again. All that requires is forgetting everything that has happened since Sephiroth entered your life."

"It means losing the close relationship that you now share with Jamie and Crystal. They'd go back to just being your editor and your brother you never see. You'd have no idea who Sephiroth even was; you'd probably be that mess all over again."

My eyes had lost a little light. "I'd… have you, wouldn't I?"

He shrugged, one of his hands pulling at grass by the road. "I don't know… you'd have that invisible presence you've always felt. But you wouldn't know me and you certainly wouldn't know I was Zack"

I was thinking, my eyes dark and focused on the ground. Zack could tell that I was having an internal conflict.

"You would forget all the pain Sephiroth has given you" He told me. "What do you say?"

My mouth opened, but I didn't say a word. I closed it again.

"I don't know" I whispered. "I really don't"

Zack looked back out to the horizon, where Earth was far away, and the sun was sinking. "You know… going back means you have to take Jamie and Crystal. Even if they don't want to go. Could you really do that? Force them to forget that the world and the people they adore really do exist?"

There was the clincher. The hard truth. Actually, all of it was hard to do.

"I don't know" I repeated. "I …"

Sighing, Zack shook his head. "Then I guess you haven't grown as much as I thought you had" His eyes lingered on me, but I didn't want to look at him. But I knew he'd probably be ashamed if I couldn't at least meet his eyes. So, trembling a little, I watched him look me over, sigh, and turn away.

"Good night"

I bit my lip.

"Will you be here in the morning?" I asked.

No answer.

With a haggard sigh that was almost a sob, I nodded, turned away, and unable to sleep at all, walked out into the forest.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_Green is the prime color of the world and that from which its loveliness arises._

_  
_**Pedro Calderon de la Barca**

Was I running again? Maybe. I had learned to tune his sorrow in my mind, and her taunting in my head, but I could still hear my subtle sobs, even as I bit my lip and tried not to make a sound.

I really didn't know what I would do. What answers could Vincent give me? There was nothing here for me. I could maybe go see Cloud… but no, I looked so different from when we first met, in the dream. What could I do? Everything was turning to dust all around me, I was running from the one thing that could make me happy again, because I was afraid. Was that it?

A small clear stream was ahead of me. Stripping of my clothes, I kept my underwear on and stepped into the water. I was nasty, covered in blood, dirt, and other gross things. Sinking down into the cold, fresh stream, I resisted the urge to drown myself.

Uh, what could I do? I looked away from my reflection, which taunted me.

The sobs came easily, and I stopped fighting them. All it seemed I could do anymore was cry. No action. Just be sad because I failed at everything, sure that would make it all better.

Cursing myself, cursing Jenova, cursing Sephiroth, I sunk lower in the water. Diving under, I attempted to clean my hair, it was soaked in blood. I wondered vaguely how long I could hold my breath, now that I wasn't human –

I tried holding for a while – even after a minute, I was totally normal. It was so … strange.

Suddenly, I was wrenched from the water by strong hands coming from above, and I screamed, covering my head with my hands. To my surprise, I landed on the grass by the stream, and so did whoever had snatched me from the water. Spinning around, I swung my leg through the air. My attacker caught my ankle and somehow, I ended up on the ground, but not hurt.

"What do you want?"

"Death is not the answer"

The voice was dark and sultry, and very beautiful. I was surprised by what he said, as it was definitely a he, and spun around to face him. It didn't occur to me that I was almost naked.

The man who owned the voice was also beautiful, and recognizable. Dark, long hair, with red eyes, and snow white skin. It was the one I had set out to look for a few days before; Vincent, the immortal man.

"W – What do you mean?"

"You were trying to kill yourself?" He asked me, somewhat a statement, but also an open ended question.

Laughing a little, I shook my head. "Thought about it – but I was just trying to clean the blood from my hair."

It occurred to me that all the dirt and grime in my hair had changed the color – for now. As soon as I cleaned it, I would be easily recognized as one of Jenova's children. It was a good thing I was dirty.

"Thank you for caring, V – sir" Standing, I then realized I was cold, wet, and naked. A red cloak appeared in front of me – Vincent was handing his cloak to me, with his face turned away. Giving him my thanks, I wrapped it around me and sat beneath a tree.

"What brings you here" He asked with that dark, trembling voice.

"Actually, I … came looking for someone. Would you know someone named Vincent?" I was sure it was him, but I didn't want him to know I knew him.

He gave me a thoughtful look. "Why would you look for him?"

"I – well, I heard he was – different. I thought he could give me some advice"

"On what?"

Sighing, I brushed a hand through my hair. "On immortality"

His eyes grew a bit wide, but he didn't really say anything. He looked me over. Suddenly his eyes began scrutinizing my hair.

"It – It's silver" I whispered very quietly. His acute ears heard me. "Until recently, it wasn't"

"How did it happen?" Vincent too, I think, knew more than he was letting on.

I told him, in little detail, that someone I trusted had changed me, and now Jenova was like an annoying alarm clock in my head, and I could never go … home. I had run away from him, and I was now afraid to go back to him, but I wanted to. I was afraid of living forever.

His look didn't change as I told the story, and I somehow got the vibe Vincent had been through something similar. Maybe not. He understood and he listened well. I was beginning to like Vincent.

We were both silent after I told my story, and I was beginning to dry. The cloak felt really nice, but I didn't want to get it totally ruined. When I tried to tell him I'd change and give it back, he told me it was fine. He went back to thinking.

"Sir?" I asked quietly, afraid he might be angry with him. Did he know I was holding many things secret to him?

With a bit of a small sigh, he looked back to me, his crimson eyes almost boring holes into my soul.

"I can feel Jenova there – she recognizes me. I know she doesn't like me; if she starts to give you trouble, I'll leave" I nodded, flushed in the cheeks a bit. What was his response to my story?

A shorter silence, and then he began.

"When I was younger, I … fell in love. But many things happened and… because of many mistakes of not just me, but others… I died. The one I loved tried to save me and in doing so, I came back to life… as an immortal monster. And in the end, I couldn't be with her. Immortality was only one obstacle in the way of our being together. I most likely will be alone, for a long time, in immortality…"

He looked up at me. "I feel empathy that immortality was forced onto you… even more so that you house Jenova within you. But to think you have the chance to spend forever not alone, but with the one you choose to marry… that is something many would give up anything for. I would. I can't. But you can."

I did not know how close to his heart this was. Ashamed I had made him speak of it, I looked away.

"I… the one I love…" biting my lip, I wondered, should I tell him the whole story? Maybe he would understand my reluctance. But then again… perhaps the fact I knew the whole story should strengthen my want to return to him. Maybe…

Looking back to him, I wondered. "Vincent, umm… if I may call you that."

"You may"

"I… if you could go back to a time when you could be with her, and nothing could stop you… if you could put your life back to normal, but at the sacrifice of forgetting everything's that's happened since you've died, every person you knew… would you do that? Would you go back to a normal life, and forget all of this?"

Vincent seemed a bit taken back by the question. Maybe I shouldn't of asked.

"I might" He whispered. "I might. But then… Shinra would never be destroyed. Sephiroth might never of been born, that I suppose, is good, but… would the world be the way it is today? Could I bring myself to erase all of this for my love? … Cloud would probably be ashamed." He laughed a little. "Cid would strangle me" Looking back up at me, he shook his head. "No, I don't think I could."

"You see, everything terrible in my past, losing her, Shinra, Sephiroth, all of these terrible battles and mistakes that I've lived through, how do I know whether or not forgetting about them makes them any less real?"

"Does not remembering a scar make it fade off of your skin? Does not remembering you love someone make you love them any less?"

"Sometimes I wish the reverse. I wish I could forget about her. But if I forgot her, would I still not remember her in dreams? My heart would most likely still belong to her."

"No matter what, I think the least important is not what we remember, but what our hearts remember" Vincent smiled a little, which was very sweet. "Because, whether it be old age for some, or the passing on for others, or something that happened, even when we forget, it still exists. Our hearts will remember … somehow…"

My mind flashed an image; of me crawling around in the dark.

_You and I have met before._

What was it I couldn't remember? Sephiroth said… we'd met before… what was it that had happened in the dream? I had crawled through darkness…

Looking up to Vincent I smiled broadly.

"Thank you for listening… maybe we'll meet again. I know now that whether or not I run or return to him, it won't help me forgive or forget him. I have to face him, even if that means after we meet again I'll never see him again. I have to chance it" Smiling, I nodded. "If not now, soon. Someday. We both have… forever" Laughing a little, I walked over to my clothes. Vincent stood and turned away. "Thanks" I whispered, setting his cloak down so I could dress. My underclothes were soaked but oh well.

"What will you do now?" He asked me.

"Head north" I told him. "A friend of mine said there was something there I ought to see. So, I guess I'll have to make my way there"

"Where is this place?" He asked, picking up his cloak after I'd finished dressing.

"It's called the City of the Ancients." Vincent's eye grew wide.

"I see" His face betrayed no emotion.

"I think, before I see him, I have to find a way to get rid of her" I told Vincent, looking my stuff over. "And I need supplies. I have no food." Smiling a little, I looked up the path.

"You travel with someone?" He asked. I nodded.

"Come on, you can meet him" In my fervor, I forgot Zack was supposed to be dead. I ran up the track and Vincent followed me. The road was close by, and we arrived quickly.

The fire was dying slowly, and the blankets were stacked next to the wood. The place where Zack had been sleeping was empty. Looking around I saw no footprints, no trail, … no trace.

"He's already gone" I whispered, and Vincent heard. I didn't mind; I trusted him.

And the sun disappeared beneath the horizon, and Earth twinkled brighter in the sky.

_The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost._

_  
_**Gilbert K. Chesterton**


	16. City of the Ancients

_**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**_

**The City of the Ancients**

_**Special Chapter**_

_All love that has not friendship for its base_

_Is like a mansion built upon sand._

**Ella Wheeler Wilcox**

I was almost afraid, standing beneath the tall, crystalline structure. More beautiful than anything I'd ever seen were the conch shells standing taller than me, and the spiraling almost endless stairs reaching down into the darkness. To think that anyone ever lived there was like imagining that perfection must have existed long before my time. Taking a deep breath, I began walking towards the stairs, turning in circles to look at everything.

_Aerith's grave is here_, I remembered Zack telling me that. It hadn't been hard to find the place, but getting through the forest had been a bit difficult. The people of Bone Village were a lot of help. But… now that I was here, I wasn't sure what I was doing.

I was running in circles. Afraid to stop running, afraid to run back, so I was just moving about to keep from becoming restless. Eventually, my running away was going to have to stop. But at least I wanted to see the City of the Ancients, before reality set in again.

I was looking down on the beautiful staircase that almost looked like it was made of glass. I was scared to step on it, there was no railing, and it was just so beautiful. But I wanted to explore, so I had to keep going.

Down the stairs, with my stomach in my throat, I sauntered down and came to a lake with a huge shell above it, and steps rising up out of the water. It looked like an altar for praying, which meant it must've been a sort of church, back during its better years.

Not a sound was made but my footsteps when I walked in. Head down, my arms behind my back, I shyly, reverently, stepped into the room. It looked just like it had in the movie, but it was so … otherworldly.

Sitting by the water, a little away so I couldn't look down, I wondered if I did want to see the person who rested beneath. Aerith… the girl in the pink dress. Crystal called her the Flower Girl.

She was really young when she died. Only a child, perhaps five years younger than me.

Clutching my elbows, I set my head between my arms, almost like I was trying to disappear. My silver hair fell over my eyes and sparkled in the light. Silver hair… I felt like a punk rocker. I was never that brave, though.

I didn't think I wanted to see her. Wasn't being here enough?

Suddenly, I heard the small patters of footsteps, so small and light they couldn't be human, it had to be a small animal. A sound hit my ears:

"Meow"

Eyes wide open; I wondered curiously why a cat was in the city. Perhaps it was a threat like that frog had been. Maybe it wasn't. Standing, I looked about for any sign of the animal. I heard it mew again, almost as if it wanted to be found. I recognized that mew.

Glancing up, I saw the cat sitting on the edge of the highest pedestal, looking down at me. It was fluffy, and white.

"Furball?" I laughed, grinning. "Furball? It really is you! I thought … I thought you died in the fire"

My cat just turned its head, looking at me, as I stepped towards the steps leading towards the cat. He watched me, almost wary, did he not recognize me? How in the world did it make it here besides? Just a little cat, making it from one world to the next?

With one foot on the first step, I beckoned Furball. "Come on kitty, it's me, Sam…"

He looked at me, and then down to the water, inching towards the edge. What was he doing? Was Furball preparing to jump? What in the world? "Furball? It's me… don't you remember the hand that fed you? Well, you did always like…"

_(would I say his name aloud I hadn't said that name in a while his name)_

"… Sephiroth better"

Almost as soon as I said his name the cat leapt off the precipice. I knew for a fact he couldn't swim, the first time I tried to give him a bath, he almost drowned. So, I leapt from the step and towards him, trying to catch him, but almost like he knew I would, the cat slipped through my arms and into the water. I followed after diving down towards Furball.

He had gone down deep really fast, how I didn't know. Furball must've put on some weight; he was almost down to the bottom. Reaching down, I used my new ability to hold my breath to my advantage, trying to swim down to him.

That's when I saw her.

She was lying on the bottom of the lake her arms cross over her chest. Her hair flowed around her, and she looked as she had the day she died. I had always thought peace and death were opposites really, but I knew then what people meant when they spoke of dead bodies, saying they "look so peaceful". Aerith really did.

There was something in her hand, tucked between the fingers, but floating a bit above. It looked like the chain to a necklace. Furball was just above it, flailing, drowning most likely. Wrapping an arm around him, I found my free arm was bending down towards her body – towards the little thing in her hands.

I knew that the muscles became immobile soon after death, so if I wanted the chain I would have to break it to get it out of her hands. That was what I thought. To my great surprise, Aerith's hands gave way, opening to allow the chain to be removed. As soon as it was in my grasp, her hands closed, and I was swimming to the surface with one miserable, wet Furball.

Coughing and hacking, I sat on my knees at the waters edge, and Furball was coughing too, almost like he had a huge hairball. The poor thing was soaked, looking up at me with misery. "Hey, you're the one who jumped in" I told him, still feeling the surprisingly warm chain in my hand, rusted a bit, but somehow not as rusted as it should be. Once I felt all the water had been coughed up, I raised my hand to my face.

The chain was silver, and long enough to be a necklace, but there was nothing on it. But it had a few lines on it, scratches, like something had hung on the chain and scratched it; like when you swing a necklace around and the item on the necklace scratches the chain itself. On one part of the necklace, a few of the chain links were bent strangely, like someone had wrestled with the metal to remove whatever was on it. They hadn't broken the metal though.

Looking up to the sky, I began thinking aloud.

"If … If Aerith died here, then… she must've been praying right? Unless she was just looking around. I kind of doubt it though. Why kill somebody for looking around? And who did kill her? No one ever told me that…"

Running a hand through my hair, I sighed. "And the chain… if she was praying, she was holding this necklace in her hand when she prayed… and after she died, whoever killed her must've taken what was on the necklace… unless"

The image of a blonde man flashed in my mind.

"Unless Cloud took it" I wondered, looking down at the necklace as my breathing began to return to normal. "Unless Cloud took it"

Looking down to the cat, which was shaking all the water off out of his fur, I frowned. "And how did you get here? And what was with the suicidal thing a minute ago?"

Furball just mewed.

Sighing, I shook my head and took one last glance at the necklace. With a huff, I placed it around my neck, and collapsed onto the ground.

Nothing made sense anymore.

"Why me?"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished:_

_If you're alive, it isn't._

_  
_**Richard Bach**

I left the city a few hours later. I didn't really want to spend the night there, I felt like I was intruding. So I continued out of the city, taking the right road (left if you're walking towards the city) out of the area.

Snow was all I could see once I left the cave tunnels that led away from the City. Sighing, I wished I brought more suitable clothes. But I kept walking.

Walking became more like zombie – ing. I felt dead as I stumbled through the snow. I didn't even know where I was going. I had lost my food in the snow, food that had been kindly given to me by Vincent. I hoped I would see him again.

What was I doing?

I didn't even feel my legs give out under me, I just fell. And when my face fell into the soft down of snow, I was wondering why it reminded me of something. It was soft, and cool… like Sephiroth's hair. If only to brush my hands through his hair again… where was he now? I couldn't feel him. I couldn't feel anything. I was so cold.

I was so cold.

_(cold really cold stop laughing at me its so cold where are you stop laughing Jenova)_

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I was in that black void, where Zack and I would rendezvous whenever we wanted to talk, or hang out. He was no where to be seen; I was worried I'd never see him again. What if he'd disappeared for good?

There was someone there though.

My legs gave out when I saw him, but he didn't see me. Was that really him? Was it really him?

_(this is only a dream)_

Slowly, he turned and his eyes fell on me. They were so dark, piercing, and cold. "What took you so long?"

I blinked. There was no way in hell he was talking to me that way.

"I was held up, all right?"

Blinking, I looked around. That wasn't me but… that was my voice.

I turned around just in time to watch a much younger me walk right through me. She wore a hood, had piercing eyes just like Sephiroth, and had that dark, drab look of someone against the world who doesn't give a damn; the eighteen year old me, three years after my mother's death.

She looked down on him, cracked her neck, and looked around. "So what's the call for?" She… err, I asked. I was stumped; was this a dream? A memory? But… I didn't remember this.

Sephiroth gave a very small sigh that could've been mistaken as an outtake of breath. His arms crossed over his lap as he looked out over the dark abyss.

"The time has come." He spoke, his voice deep and rumbling. I shivered. The girl was not affected. "For years I have awaited this day, preparing, pulling strings. And I have waited here."

"So you have" The girl's voice was bitter, and she was biting her lip like she had more to say. "Gotta go… destroy the world now, huh?"

"Five years ago, Cloud defeated me and I was sent into the crater from which my mother arose. I have slept there since. Soon, Cloud will awaken me. You've known this. From the moment we met, I told you."

"Yeah, I know." Her tone was impatient, borderline bitchy.

Sephiroth looked a bit over his shoulder. The girl's eyes were glaring down at him, almost daring him to say something. He blinked, almost slow motion. Then he spoke.

"You… cannot come with me"

"Why not!?" Her retort was already on her tongue. "I've waited this long with you, haven't I? I've even helped you! When you ran out of power after killing Shinra, who shared their _soul _with you? When you were trying to lead Cloud along, who helped you? I did! I even told you where Aerith was going when I saw it in my dreams!"

_Wait a minute_, I thought _What does Aerith have to do with Sephiroth?_ I knew she'd died because of the Meteor and Shinra and all those battles, but… did Sephiroth have a direct link with it?

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have been able to kill her, Cloud hurt you so bad!"

My eyes were wide open. Sephiroth… Sephiroth killed Aerith?

_And I helped him do it._

Sephiroth was taking this silently.

"I've had to give my soul for you to be able to pull some of the crap you've pulled. And Jenova spits in your face for it."

"Don't talk about mother" He became fierce, as I knew he would. Knowing the old me, I would to.

"I will! She's using you, and you know she thinks less of you because of me" The girl was breathing hard, angry, and I think a little sad too.

"You know that you'll lose if Jenova takes over"

Sephiroth's eyes were hidden by his eyelids. Seething, the girl glared down at him, waiting for some sort of response.

"She already… has"

Looking up to her Sephiroth eyes seem to be for the first time clear of darkness. "She is taking over. She has been, since that first day in Nibelheim. If you stay with me, she will kill you. I can't let her do that"

The girl was crying by now.

"You're all I have" She whispered, fighting back the tears by angrily wiping them away. Sephiroth stood and gently took hold of her wrists.

"I'm… I wish I never had to do any of this. My memories are as clouded as Cloud's… if Zack could see me now."

"Zack?" She whispered. "You've never talked about him. Not to me"

"Remember? The presence you spoke of" He told her. "He's been watching over you. I don't know why. I don't know why you and I have met here. Why do your dreams bring you here to me every night? I don't know why. Why are you involved in this?"

Eyes down and shoulders shaking the girl cried as Sephiroth held her. "Why is it, as much of your soul as you've offered to me, why have you not died? So much of your soul has been taking, and yet so much abundance is left. What are you really?"

"S – Sephiroth?" Red eyes looked up between her hair, miserable and looking for hope. Sephiroth had none. I think, even then, Sephiroth knew he was going to die, whether or not by Cloud or Jenova's hands. Why then was he moving forward? Was it because Jenova was within, as she was with me now? Was she there in him now? If only… I could reach into the dream Sephiroth and rip her away… and save so many…

"Sephiroth"

"Sephiroth"

The young me and I spoke at the same time. Sephiroth looked up over her shoulder. Could he see me? His eyes fell back down on her.

"You… have taught me things. Made me remember things though I still forget so much. And you are so good, for all the deeds you've helped me do, you are a good person. I am not. We cannot …"

He didn't finish the sentence. I knew then that back during this time, when I was eighteen, that he and I…

_We have met before._

That was what Sephiroth meant. Somehow, I kept going to him in my dreams when I was younger. But… why can't I remember? How did it start?

"When I lost my mom, I gave up on everything. I was nothing but a ghost. Just like you" She smiled a little. "When you found out the truth, you gave up on everything, everyone… became a ghost. But when we're together I feel… so _real_…"

"I didn't want to do those things. But I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to be a ghost. Watching Aerith die… knowing that I had as good as killed her myself…"

My heart was hammering hard and fast in my chest.

"My soul is as good as yours"

"My soul belongs to her" Sephiroth muttered, backing away a bit. She followed him.

"I won't leave you"

"Sam –"

"I can't, you're all I have"

"Sam you can't come –"

"I have too, where else can I go?"

Sobbing loudly, she dropped to her knees, head in her hands. Sephiroth was looking down in horror, almost unable to do anything. Slowly, he looked down on her and kneeled next to her.

"I can make you forget" He whispered. She looked up, a little bit of hope in her eyes. "You'll forget me"

_When you walk away_

"But I –"

"It's for the best. I'll always remember you" Sephiroth brushed a hand through her hair. "I'll remember you the only human I would spare. How I came to hold you in this regard, I shall never understand." She chuckled a little, holding his wrist, and he smirked… she was lost in his eyes. I could tell; she was lost, just like I was all the time when I looked at him.

"I – okay. I – I'd rather be completely alone" She whispered looking down. "Than alone and know I didn't have to … be"

_You don't hear me say_

Sephiroth actually had a pained look on his face. His palm slid to the younger me's forehead. She was no longer crying but just looking at him.

"Don't let her kill you" She whispered, biting her lip.

_Please oh baby don't go_

Sephiroth looked away, but his eyes drifted back to her.

"Good bye… Samantha.

_Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight_

_It's hard to let it go_

In a flash, the dream was gone… and so where the young me's memories. He wiped my memories… so I wouldn't feel the pain of having lost him. But how had we come together in the first place?

I couldn't believe it. I had helped him; I had the audacity to go to Aerith's grave when I … I …

How had I helped him? Sharing my soul with him? Could he not work on his own? What had Cloud done to him?

What…

What had I done?

_Hold me _

_Whatever lies beyond this morning_

_Is a little later on_

_Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all_

_Nothing's like before_

**- **_**Simple and Clean**_ Utada Hikaru


	17. Snowboarding

_**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**_

**Snowboarding**

_Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, _

_Never lose a chance to make them._

_  
_**Francesco Guicciardini**

I felt like I was curled up into a ball, almost like I was wrapped in protection and warmth. The bitter cold was gone, and I heard a strange sound by my ear; a sort of whirring sound. My tired, heavy eyes blinked, fighting to open. Just before my head sat Furball purring happily. There was a bit of snow in his fur.

"Hey buddy" I murmured weakly, stretching over to pet him. He rubbed his neck against my hand as I scratched him.

"Hey, you're awake" The door to the room opened, but I had my back to it. It was then I realized I was on a warm bed, with a fireplace roaring in the opposite corner, and a person had just entered the room. Slowly, I turned around, still very stiff and worn.

Standing before the bed were two people; one a red head, the other a bald man wearing glasses. They wore clothes that looked like they were getting ready to hit the slopes.

"Good morning sleeping beauty" The red head winked at me. I knew him… he was Reno, from the movie. And his partner was…

"Uh, hi" I muttered, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. Furball rubbed against my side. "Who are you guys?"

"I'm Reno" The red head bowed a little, very flirty. Playfully, I rolled my eyes. "This is my partner, Rude. We came to Icicle Inn looking for a vacation; usually we come with some friends of ours, but…" The man sighed heavily.

"They went on a date" Rude spoke frankly.

"Oh" I spoke. I supposed their friends were the blonde girl and the dark haired guy from the movie, the ones who'd been tortured. I hoped they were okay.

Not that I had any right to hope anyone was all right. I had killed someone. I …

_Stop thinking about that, stop thinking about that_

Reno looked me over squinting. "Are you okay?"

"We just found her in the snow do you think she's all right?" Rude told him. Reno gave him a look and shrugged his shoulders.

"So, what's your name, pretty lady?" Reno was definitely a flirt.

"I'm…" I was ashamed to say my name. "Sam"

Reno blinked. Rude looked a little surprised too. They shared a look. I think they were surprised by the sudden turn in my attitude.

"Hey, what's wrong? I mean, emotionally?" Reno added when Rude gave him another look. Sitting next to me, Reno put an arm around my waist supportively.

"How'd you end up in the snow?" Rude asked, taking off his glasses for the first time, as he sat in the rocking chair.

"I … I …" I didn't know what to say. Oh, how I wanted to tell someone! I didn't care who, or what they would think of me, I just wanted to tell someone!

With a sigh, I shook my head. "Just cold." Rude and Reno looked to one another.

"Just a little cold, that's all"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Sighing, Reno rubbed the back of his head, thinking. I knew he was thinking of a way to make me feel better. Rude didn't say anything and I couldn't tell what was on his mind. He just sat there… very solemn.

"Well, where're you headed?" Reno began standing up again. I shrugged, still in a kind of half asleep daze, not really noticing the questions I was answering.

"Why'd you come up here?" Rude leaned forward, curious though it didn't show on his face. "What were you doing?" Jenova didn't like them. My hand flexed. She really didn't like them.

"Apologizing" This seemed to take the two by surprise. Reno looked like a puppy, eagerly awaiting some sort of story. I almost laughed. "I caused the death of someone and I was here… apologizing"

Reno blinked his eagerness for a story dimming, as he realized I wasn't giving one. Rude was deep in thought. I looked both of them over; what did they want from me? What was with the questions? Where they going to use me?

_Stop that, that's Jenova thinking…_

Rubbing my forehead, I looked up at them, my eyes half closed. "Why do you ask? I have no idea where I'm going. You can just leave me here"

Rude and Reno seemed to have the same thoughts there. "No way" They said at the same time. Blinking, they looked to one another, and laughed.

"Elena, and Tseng, not to mention the boss, would kill me if I left a lady out in the middle of nowhere, stuck on a mountain." Reno leaned back, arms behind his head. In his mind, the decision was made.

"If you'd like, we can take you home. Where do you live?" Rude asked, thinking the details over. I wondered what they used to travel.

"Actually… well…" I didn't live anywhere.

"Well, I'm looking for some people." Suddenly, I realized what to do. I became excited. "I'm looking for my friends. One's got short silver hair and…"

Rude and Reno watched in confusion as the light dimmed in my eyes and my hands slowly fell to my sides. They shared another look as I bit my lip. My thoughts were quick, and when I spoke again, the words lacked excitement.

"I'm looking for my friends… Crystal and Jamie."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I told Reno and Rude that the three of us (Crystal, Jamie, and I) had been traveling up the mountain when we got separated, but that they really could be anywhere. They didn't really question my explanation, but I knew they knew I wasn't saying everything. Reno didn't seem to mind; he bought me dinner, and was joking all the time. Rude was kind of our silent tag along, but he didn't seem to mind.

I laughed more than I had in a while during that meal; we ate downstairs and there were few people other than us. It seemed most everyone was out snowboarding at this time of day.

"So, anyway" Reno continued his story, his hands moving as he spoke animatedly. Rude was laughing too, as it seemed he'd been present for the story Reno was telling. He was looking over his glasses, his head in his hands. Reno gave him a look and a grin and continued.

"The boss" I learned the boss was Rufus Shinra; "he was busy in his office, and whenever he's in his office, he's really bitchy to who ever tries to come in, and that day…"

I listened to the story, laughing at the funny parts, as Rude helped Reno relay the "true" story, and I enjoyed my first good dinner in a while. Furball was curled up around Rude's leg, and he kept trying to leap into the man's lap. I had begun to become attached to the two; something I had told myself I didn't need to do. I'd already become attached to Vincent; I wondered where he was, and if he was okay. I wondered what he'd do if he knew I had aided in the death of one of his friends.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked as Reno's story wound down. Reno was drinking a soda, and Rude had tea.

"Well, Rude and I aren't… really here on vacation" Reno said. "Well, we are, but we've got a job to do"

"Mr. Shinra asked us to find someone" Rude continued. "He's been seen near the Northern Crater, which is"

"North of here" Reno smiled and finished.

"So, I'm coming with you guys to this Northern Crater"

"Along the way we keep an eye out for your friends" Reno added.

"And after our mission, we'll see if Mr. Shinra himself can't help you out any" Rude nodded and concluded the discussion.

Furball mewed below Reno's feet. "Hey there, kitty cat" Reno smirked, opening his arms to the cat. The white fluff ball grabbed onto his leg and scrambled up, and I laughed when Reno winced at the claws digging in his skin. Smirking at him as he petted the cat and talked to it, my eyes fell.

"You guys don't have to do this for me" I told them.

"Nope, but we're the gentlemen who'd do that for ya" Reno grinned, giving me a little "okay" signal with his hand. Furball mewed at me, as if to say the same thing.

I looked sheepishly from Reno to Rude. "Thanks … guys, I promise, I'll pay you back"

_It is not so much our friends' help that helps us,_

_As the confidence of their help._

_  
_**Epicurus**

0-0-0-0-0-0

_Darkness. Everywhere darkness._

_**Sephiroth? Sephiroth where are you?**_

_(he doesn't want you he never wanted you he is mine my son my son)_

_Where am I? The dark void?_

_**Zack! Kadaj! Loz, Yazoo, please! **_

_(you and I are the same now you can't escape me you never will)_

_**Help me!**_

_**Sephiroth! Please come back!**_

_**I'm sorry!**_

_**I wish I'd never run away!**_

_**I was scared.**_

_**Please!**_

… _**S – Sephiroth? O – Oh god, Sephiroth…**_

_(you are alone)_

(no, she's not)

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Still half asleep, and yet feeling awakening coming on, that was when I felt the presence come over me. It was like a blanket, separating her from me, and I could feel his heartbeat as the presence became recognizable. I almost cried, clinging to the feeling of him in my heart, hearing him speak to me softly. Unable to make out a word of what he said, I still didn't care, he was here.

"Sephiroth – oh, I'm so sorry"

He was a part of me, fighting her off, allowing me peace for the first time in my dreams since she'd come into me. Kissing my neck, he wrapped his arms around me, and continued to whisper to me until I was no longer able to speak to him and I fell asleep again.

When I did fall asleep, Jenova did not bother my dreams. As I slept I felt a protective, warm presence, and I knew he'd never left me. If only I could talk to him, see him in person… I was so confused, so afraid. I felt him touch my cheek.

_I forgive you… I forgive you for everything…_

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Hey, girlie's awake"

I groaned to see the green eyes of Reno smiling down on me. Smirking a little, I pushed him away and rolled over, trying to go back to sleep.

"Come on, we've gotta get moving!"

Reno tried to urge me out of bed. I didn't feel like moving… at all. He had been so close. So close, and yet, I couldn't hear a word he said to me. So close… so far.

"Hey, come on, Sam" Reno nudged my shoulder.

"I want to be alone"

Blinking, Reno frowned a little and crossed his arms. "Women"

Throwing his hands in the air, he turned as if to stalk off. I was glaring at my pillow as I petted Furball. Turning a little, Reno looked down on me again.

"TICKLE FIGHT!"

With an "OMG" look of surprise on my face, I felt Reno hit me, childish and innocent, and he began attacking my sides with devious precision.

"Reno – Reno – Ah, stop it! Reno!" I was laughing in spite of myself, in the precarious position Reno and I were in; his legs over mine, holding me down, with a big grin on his face as I kicked and squealed beneath him. If Sephiroth could see us… well, I avoided depressing thoughts.

"Ah! I'm going to kill you!"

He was laughing to now; I liked how he laughed. I really liked Reno a lot. He reminded me of an old friend of Jamie's. But somehow, Reno was more genuine. At this time, Rude walked in with a pack of coffees in his hands.

"This is… interesting…" Rude muttered, seemingly unaffected by the strange situation. I shoved Reno off, as he laughed at me and brushed himself off.

"All right, all right, I'm up" My dark mood had been brushed away, and I continued to ignore the dark thoughts that were creeping up on me.

Reno grinned at my heavy breathing, and I proceeded to throw my pillow at him. Okay, so he dodged it. Looking about, I smiled at the cat and picked him up, petting Furball.

"Okay then" Reno mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. He screamed when I threw Furball at him.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"So how do we get to the Northern Crater?"

"Well" Rude, Reno, and I began walking out of town, away from the inn we'd stayed in. Rude explained the plan. "We'll have to travel through a lot of snow to get there. But before that"

"To leave town, we gotta hit the snow" Reno grinned, lifting a snowboard up. He was holding two, and Rude had his own.

"You mean"

"It is a mountain" Rude smiled a little at my discomfort.

"Don't worry it's not a hard slope!" Reno grinned to make me feel better, handing me a helmet and a snowboard. Gulping, I took them both, realizing I may be too busy fearing for my life to worry about Sephiroth soon enough.

"Good luck" A man standing by the road gave us a fearful look. That was not comforting.

We came to the slope, strapped on our helmets and our boards, and I took a deep breath.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. Just avoid the trees" Reno smirked. Then as an afterthought, he mumbled. "Might wanna avoid the huge rocks too…"

"Rocks!?" I gaped, shivering slightly. At least this time I had a jacket.

"All right, here we go!" Both Reno and Rude had one arm around me, and at the same time, we fell over the edge and became skimming the snow down.

"OH MY G –"

"Ha, ha, all right, let go!" Reno laughed loudly, and pushed away. His board hit the snow and sped down the slope, easily speeding by trees. Cheering, Reno hit a small incline, went into the air, and showed off with a few little moves.

"See you at the bottom" Rude told me, before pushing away just in time to avoid hitting a tree. By pushing me, I almost hit one myself, but I managed to freak out and send my weight spiraling in a different direction.

"Nice move there!" Reno roared over the wind. I didn't say a word; I was busy concentrating to make sure my knees didn't buckle out from underneath me.

My hands were flailing in front of me as huge snowballs bounded towards me on the flatter part of the slope, and then, a sharp turn came and I smashed face first into the side.

"Keep trying!" I saw Rude fly past above me, as I wiped snow from my face and tried standing again. If Jamie and the others could see me now… I could almost see Sephiroth, arms crossed, a smirk on his lips as he shook his head. Rolling my eyes, I tried to balance, and leaned forward to begin moving.

Flying around the bend I leaned and leaned until my back was straight; and then pulled up immediately with a scream when I realized I was going REALLY fast. Wow… I was slow. Trying to balance again, I dodged a tree, only to realize I was going headfirst towards a rock.

Reno swept by, grabbing my arm. "Come on girl, don't you have any sense of direction?" Flinging me out into the snow again, Reno sped me up and I screamed. I was aimed at a slope, and in seconds was hurtling through the air with my arms flailing. My throat was almost hoarse; Jenova was hiding in the back of my mind, very much embarrassed by my actions, and almost deaf from the screaming.

Ah, up hers. I could handle this and anything else… without her. She was not MY mother.

Determined, I turned the next sharp bend without hitting anything, but when I escaped the tunnel, a huge snowball fell off the roof and started rolling after me. I was beginning to wish I had stayed in bed.

"Don't die, don't die, don't die" I kept repeating, leaning very far forward. I ended up rolling forward by accident, smashing my head into the board, and turning my body into a living snowball.

With a sound crash I hit the snow at the bottom of the slope, and the giant ball bounced down, missing me by an inch. As I groaned and sat up, shaking snow from my hair, I watched it roll away.

Behind me, Reno and Rude landed face first in the snow. Even though they'd navigated the course much better than I had they still landed flat on their faces. To me that was a personal victory. As they shook their heads and looked around, I stuck out my tongue with a grin.

"Ha!"

0-0-0-0-0-0

_It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live._

_  
_**J.K. Rowling**

Hours later, having traveled snow fields and scaled cliff sides, we arrived at the Northern Crater. I was tired, but not as much as Reno and Rude; the former had been kind enough to allow me rest on his back when we climbed, but I turned him down. When I almost fell from the mountainside, Rude made me do it. I didn't understand why now that I had so much power, how I was still so weak. I knew my muscles were stronger, and yet perhaps I wasn't controlling it correctly.

"Well, we're here" Reno muttered, looking around.

It was a dark path through a windy abyss, up to a precipice in the center. Jenova's power was throbbing… she knew this place. And she didn't like it.

Grasping my head, I grimaced, pulling at my hair.

"What's wrong?" Rude asked.

"Nothing" I muttered. "Just a migraine" Reno walked up, concerned. I just smiled at him.

We began walking up the snow covered stone steps, trying to avoid being blown over into the darkness below. Many a time one of us had to help the other, trying to keep us all alive; Reno tripped and Rude grabbed the back of his jacket. I was pushed by the wind, and Reno hugged me to give me better leverage.

As we came up the rocks, through the snow and wind, I began feeling apprehensive; I wasn't sure I wanted to make it to the top. "Have you seen him yet?" Rude asked. Reno shook his head, and pushed a button on his belt, speaking into a headset on his ear. "No sign of him yet boss" He muttered above the wind.

Sighing, I looked ahead, not at all concerned with their business. Pushing ahead into the lead, I walked on against the wind, clutching my arms. I was terribly cold, but fighting it. I heard Reno rush after me. Rude seemed to wait behind tentatively, but he too followed.

"Hey!" I called into the wind, almost expecting an answer. Reno looked at me funny. "Where are you?" Why did I feel like he could hear me?

As we came up to the top, I saw a form waiting there. The person was sitting in the snow, head down; his hair falling over his eyes and swaying in the wind. When he heard our footsteps, he turned, his green eyes gazing into my soul. The Masamune was implanted in the ground in front of him, and his legs were crossed, like he was just sitting there waiting for someone. Was he waiting for me, or…?

Reno frowned and pushed the button on his waist again. "We've found him sir, he's here"

Reno's voice reawakened me. Eyes wide and tearful, my hair blowing every which way, I hunched down clutching my stomach and gave a bellowing scream.

"**_SEPHIROTH!_**"

0-0-0-0-0-0

The helicopter was larger than most, as it usually transported cargo for the Shinra Electric Company. The Shinra hardly dealt with electricity any longer; staring out into the cloudy distance afar, Rufus Shinra crossed his arms and awaited the call. He needn't wait long.

"Sir"

A pale skinned man, seemingly in his thirties, stepped into the office. He stood at 5'11" with scrawny features and long blonde hair, pulled back in a loose ponytail. A red feather was in the band that pulled his hair back, and another feather was tucked behind his ear. Purple eyes stared reverently at Rufus's back.

"Reno has reported sir. The target has been sighted"

"Very well" Rufus did not like this business. "Set a course to their location. Notify me when we come within a mile of the crater."

The man's lips broke a little, forming a small smile, before it morphed into a grin and he gave a strange giggle. "Yes, sir!" Spinning around, he made to leave the room.

"Wait" Rufus turned a bit to look over his shoulder. The blonde stopped walking, and his face still to the door. "Tell them not to harm him yet. I want to take him back to Edge"

The twinkle left the blonde man's eyes. Gripping the doorknob tightly, he grimaced angrily. "Yes sir" His tone of voice was still light and airy, though his attitude and demeanor had changed. It seemed the man had looked forward to the death of their target.

Rufus did not bother looking back when the man left. He did not care. Looking out over the clouds, he frowned.

He did not like this. He didn't like it at all.

0-0-0-0-0-0

The pale skinned, blonde haired man scowled, stomping away from his employer's office. Running his thin fingers over the red make up covering his eyes, he brooded over Sir Rufus's orders. He'd just have to "tweak" them. This thought returned the pale man's grin, as he slowly opened the door to the briefing room.

"Greetings soldiers! I just wanted to let you all know that we're going to kill someone today!" He screamed, releasing a shrill, cackle.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**HEY GUYS!**

**Just a little note from the author. I want to say a few things.**

**Thanks to all you guys who've stuck it out and reviewed and read all the chapters, thanks guys, I'm doing my best. I wish more would review, but I suppose you won't if you don't want to. What I do want to ask is if you want some sort of…**

**How to put this…**

**I don't like lemons. Mostly, they're gross, unoriginal, and written terribly. I do like some yaoi stories, but only ones with actually writing talent. I have written some of these more descriptive … love scenes… before, but I do not think it suits this story.**

**If I were to write something of this kind, it would not be so detailed, but more romantic, more a reunion between Sam and Sephiroth. If you want something of that kind, kind of… insinuative, I'll write it, but I'm not putting a full out sex scene here. Most of them are gross. **

**Also, I found this cool website for people who read and write FFVII fan fic. It's called the Genesis Awards, check it out.**

**This story is coming to a close, and I've loved writing it. Eventually, I'll pick it back up again, since I do like it.**

**Next time, I want Jamie to be the main character, since he's funny and interesting to write. I want to tell more about his back story. **

**If there is a sequel, it will be, if I get my way…**

_**A VINCENTOC YAOI!!!!!**_

**Of course if enough people disagree, I won't. Well, it's your choice! Do you want to see Vincent and Jamie together? Do you think that's gross? Do you want a romantic insinuative thingy? Do you think that's gross? Are you a prude?**

**Anyway, thanks for reading!**

**SULHADAHNE**


	18. Shinra

_**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**_

**Shinra**

_War would end if the dead could return._

_  
_**Stanley Baldwin**

He was there. He was real. A part of me had been afraid all this time that it was a dream, and seeing him was concrete reality; reminded me that everything was real… the good and the bad.

The part that hurt the most was his eyes; as he came to a standing position, I hardly noticed Reno and Rude, drawing their weapons and running ahead of me, yelling at him to back down. His eyes were so sad and staring straight at me, no one else. Almost like he'd be able to get some sort of message across if he could penetrate my eyes. Limbs limp, eyes sunken, black circles surrounding them, almost like he hadn't rested well in a while. Was there blood dried in his hair? One of his sleeves was torn. Where had he been all this time? Where were the others?

I screamed his name. "**_SEPHIROTH!_**" Reno was shocked, his mouth agape as I pushed by him; Rude was surprised by my actions, but still had his wits about him, and tried to grab me. I shoved him away, distraught and desperate, and ran up the hill. Sephiroth's eyes became wider and wider as I raced towards him and at the last minute he seemed to awaken and I fell into his arms. Jenova was purring in my mind, and I violently shoved her away too.

"Oh, Sephiroth, I can't believe it, it's really you" Clutching his shoulders, I fell to my knees, and dragged him to the snow with me. He was so warm. I felt his breath, I felt his heartbeat I could feel him again.

"Sephiroth?" I looked up to him. He still was silent, looking down at me in surprise and awe. Behind us, Reno and Rude were ready to fight; Rude had a gun pointed toward Sephiroth… "Step away from the girl!" Reno roared, his voice quivering in anger. I looked to them.

"Leave him alone!" Screaming more angrily than I knew I could, I snapped at the two both of whom were shocked at what was occurring. So was Sephiroth. Looking back up at him, I bit my lip.

"You … you ran away" Sephiroth's voice was weak, like he hadn't spoken in a while.

"I was scared" I whispered. "I made a terrible mistake"

"We both did" I relished in the feeling of Sephiroth's fingers rolling through my hair. He was looking me over, and I realized he hadn't really seen me in my new form. Embarrassed and self conscious, I looked down with red cheeks.

"Do… do you like it?"

I felt his fingers tuck under my chin, and I willingly looked back up at him. He was smiling, which to me was a blessing; from his demeanor, I was afraid he'd never be happy again. "I love it. I love you" There was an underlying tone in his voice. Like he knew he was saying this for the last time.

"Sephiroth?" I muttered. "What's wrong?"

Something was coming. Somehow I could feel it; the sound of vibrations ran through the air, breaking through the wind and ice.

Helicopters.

Sitting up, I glanced over to Reno and Rude, who looked like they were in the middle of an engrossingly sappy soap opera. Rude had wide eyes, but Reno was kind of stoic, looking me over. "Are those your people?" Reno and Rude shared a glance.

Then, quickly, Reno strode over to me. Sephiroth stood between us, arm raised but I stepped out from behind him. Reno took my wrist. "Get outta here – quick. With him, too"

"Reno" Rude muttered coming closer.

"Hey, it's all right man, I won't drag you down" Reno looked back to his partner with a smirk. "One smack on the back of the head, and you're in the clear"

Rude chuckled, a small smirk coming over his lips. "No thanks – I know how hard you hit" Grinning, Reno wrapped his arm around Rude's shoulder when the man stepped up.

"Looks like this are our last mission, man" Reno smirked. I was dumbstruck.

"Wait a minute – what?"

Reno and Rude seemed to remember the other two people in the Northern Crater. The helicopters were getting louder. "We're gonna get you guys outta here, and we'll tell the Shinra wrong directions – don't worry bout us! We've done it before!" Looking to Rude, he nudged the man's side. "Remember Wutai? That second time?"

Rude looked distressed. "All right, but this time, I get to punch _you _in the nose" Reno shrugged.

I was beginning to adore those two – absolutely enthralled, I snaked an arm around both their necks and cheered. "Thank you so much!"

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Spinning around, I saw Sephiroth looking down on me. He shook his head. Reno blinked. "What?"

"Take her" Looking up Sephiroth began ordering Reno and Rude like he was their commander. "Get her away from here."

"What about you?" I interrupted, but he wasn't paying attention to me. Reno was.

"Yeah, what the girl said. You just gonna leave her?"

Sephiroth's hand fell. He was silent, looking like he was thinking. Reno looked from Sephiroth to Rude, confused, but Rude seemed to read Sephiroth's actions. "You don't plan on fighting, do you?" He muttered. Shocked, mouth agape, I spun around to face Sephiroth. He wouldn't look at me.

"What in the world, Sephiroth? Why?"

I heard him sigh, and look down at me. "After Jenova left me, when you and I first met… the haze over my memories lifted. I always knew what it was I had done, but not in detail. Now… I remember what they looked like. As they pleaded for mercy. Horrified, praying for me to spare them, spare their friends, and spare their families. I thought … I can redeem myself, if only I can take care of you"

"And I hurt you so badly. When you left… I couldn't believe it. What had I done?"

"I realized then that, with or without Jenova, I would always be a monster. I couldn't be redeemed. I hurt you of all people… there was no chance for redemption. At least now, those who've been hurt because of me shall feel peace."

"What?" I was trying to make sense of everything – I faced Reno angrily. "What does he mean?"

"Shinra is going to execute Sephiroth" Rude began slowly. The helicopters were so close. "In Edge, as a final testament and the end to all the suffering Gaia has been through. Thousands of people are going. To watch him die"

I couldn't believe it I was in total shock. He was back, finally… and now Shinra is trying to kill him? Not only that… he doesn't care. He wants to die.

Spinning around to him, my eyes flashed angrily. Suppressing the need to punch him, I began a tirade of screaming.

"Now you listen to me! I understand you did a lot of terrible things! And I know that Jenova wasn't in total control! But when you did that to me, Jenova was there! She's in me now, and she still wants you, that's why you've got to stay with me and fight her off, for good!"

"I know a lot of people are dead because of you. You dying won't fix a thing! You owe the people you've killed that much! For every life taken, you are taking onto yourself the promise that you'll live their lives out for them – that's the oath! You can't – you can't just die here!"

I was breathing hard, staring at him – I think he was surprised by my actions. I watched his green eyes fall into thought, far away – I remembered a time when I was unable to look him in the eye. Glancing back up at me, Sephiroth opened his mouth to respond to me.

Before he could, I heard a huge sound, something came flying our way. Sephiroth acted faster than anyone, shoving me away into Reno, and leaping back himself. Rude pulled the two of us away as a huge, spiraling blast of wind shattered the very precipice we'd been standing on. In midair, Sephiroth's hand flew to Masamune and drew it quickly, as he landed with perfection on a nearby pillar.

"Sephiroth!" Shouting I tried to pull away from Reno – I knew my new powers would allow me to scale that height to him, but Reno and Rude just wouldn't let go. I didn't want to hurt them, but I was about to if they didn't let me go.

Then something happened. The helicopters sped through the area, one whizzing behind the three of us, another coming by Sephiroth's side. A blonde man leapt from the large helicopter, and in midair, he swung his arm in an arch and a gigantic blast of black fire came from his arm, creating a huge blaze between Sephiroth and me, burning even in the wind and snow.

"Sephiroth!" I screamed, waiting for him to leap over the flames, to come back. As the flames flickered, I saw him standing there on the other side. He looked so lost, broken, so terribly sad. It reminded me of the scene from the movie when Sephiroth rose from the flames – but then, he'd been broken, and deranged, angry at the world. Now he was just broken.

And I was the one who broke him.

The helicopter landed next to him, and a dozen heavily armed soldiers rushed out to him. He did not move or make a sound. He was going to go with them – I couldn't believe it –

"**_Sephiroth_**!"

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes as the soldiers bound him, hit him, and made him fall to the floor.

Kicking and screaming, I reached out to him. "I remember! I remember all of it! When we first met! Before, when Meteor fell!"

That caught his attention – he stood, and the soldiers were shocked at how easily he stood when they'd been holding him down effortlessly before.

"We've both done terrible things! But in the end, we have to move on! I won't rest until I get you back! It's all I've thought about since I ran away. I'll find you! I swear it!"

They were taking him away – roaring, I pulled away from Reno and Rude, and sped across the snow with speed I didn't know I had. From the black flames, the blonde man soared, a terrible grin on his face.

He screeched something at me as he grabbed my shoulder to stop me – I felt my hand fly up to his arm, twist it and I watched as he slammed into the ground behind me. Then I went to run – he took hold of my ankle, and as I fell I attempted to flip, yet he wouldn't let go of me. I hit the ground – hard.

Headache – really bad – neck hurts – fell asleep.

0-0-0-0-0-0

_Tomorrow, at twelve noon…_

_A day to remember…_

_It will all finally be over…_

_I'm going, he killed my family, and I'm going to watch him with a smile on my face…_

I didn't want to hear those words. I didn't want to know … tomorrow…

His life would end tomorrow.

Unless I _did _something.

Because of Reno and Rude's influence in the company, I was treated with a smudge of dignity, and instead of being thrown into a cell I was taken to see the big shot himself. The building was a bit old, and messed up, thanks to Cloud and his efforts, I thought with a bit of pride. Rufus' office was on the left side of the large building; the side were most of the repairs were being made.

When the cadets threw me into his room, Rufus was looking out the window to the city. Growling, I made to get off my knees and fly at him, but Reno and Rude came in at that moment, holding me away from him.

"What do you want from me?" The ice cold man still hadn't turned to look at me. At least look at me when you destroy my reason for living, at least acknowledge the fact you've taken everything away from me.

As I fell to my knees, he did turn, looking down on me. Jenova wanted to rip him apart. For once, I wasn't sure I disagreed. "Do you want me to save him? Tell the people he's a changed man and all is well? Do you live in a delusion, girl?"

Snarling, I tried reaching for him again. It was then I noticed my finger nails had somehow grown much longer.

"Do you know how many people he has killed?"

I calmed. So many people… "But it was her!" I screeched. "Her, kill her! She made him do it!"

"Jenova?" The presence of the blonde man who'd knocked me unconscious became apparent, as he was standing in the back of the room with a clipboard. "Where do you suppose we find her? And besides… killing her means admitting we started this whole mess in the first place"

"I think everyone knows that, swine" I spat. Rufus gave the blonde a spine chilling sneer.

"How would you propose we kill her anyway? How would that make up for all those people who died?" Rufus looked back down to me, and I felt Reno and Rude try to help me stand. My legs wouldn't do it. I just – why couldn't I –

"Then kill me, too" With a whisper tone of voice, I bit my lip and looked him in the eye. "I helped him. He killed a lot of people thanks to me!"

Reno was holding my arm tighter, in shock, and I could tell he wanted me to shut up. We'd only just met. How could he evaluate me and think I truly didn't deserve to die? And Rude… he had his head down, cringing.

"And besides, Jenova is in me now!" Every person in the room looked up, wide eyed, surprised. Reno almost jumped, and dropped me, but Rude took the rest of my weight and kept me from falling. "You can kill her, just kill me!"

"Jenova will not die by the death of her host" The blonde snob was sniggering. "Your death will mean nothing"

_Don't tell me that_, I was grimacing with teeth bared, feeling strangely long fangs over my lips. _ At least let me think I can die for a reason_

"I won't kill you" Rufus, with a heavy sigh, fell into his desk chair and looked to the work on it. How could he dismiss me so? Again, I flailed, and this time, without Reno's help, Rude couldn't hold me back. Reno managed to grab me, but I slammed my foot into Rufus' desk.

"Don't you dismiss me" I screamed, my voice growing hoarse and weary.

"Kill me with him! Is that too much to ask for even you, you high assed business tycoon!" It took him a minute to look back up at me, and his eyes were surprisingly heavy and weary.

"It was his last wish" He muttered.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Sephiroth's last wish" Rude answered finally letting me to stand on my own. "He asked us not to kill you"

"What?" I looked up in horror to Rude. He wouldn't look at me. Eyes scanning the room, I looked anywhere, everywhere for hope; Reno bit his lip and sighed, Rufus was intently staring down at his desk, and the blonde scum was smiling, almost like he was enjoying this. Snarling, I raced over to him and swung my hand back, ready to pound his face.

He caught my fist. "Not this time, young lady" Smiling, he just pushed me away. Like I didn't matter. Startled, I watched him saunter from the room, never once did he look back at me. But before he let the door close, he spoke, without looking at me.

"You are the kind of person who simply does not matter. You are born into mediocrity, and you never think beyond what it is you have. In life you are a peasant of its glories, a simpleton, who will never amount to anything. You are a fool, and ironically, you will watch the only person who ever thought you mattered die"

As the door shut, and he walked away, I scarce heard his last words. They left me in shock. All of everything that had happened over the last few weeks, all I had learned and everything that had been revealed.

It was then I noticed I was shivering, but I wasn't cold. And I heard I was sobbing a little too. Hearing footsteps I noticed Rufus had stood, and was walking towards him. Weakly, I whispered, "Stay away" but he came to me, even as I backed off. All he did was hand me a file. My trembling hand reached for it and I took it, confused as I was.

We all were a little confused, but for the impassive Rufus. I looked back to Reno and Rude. Reno went to say something; "Be silent" Rufus cut him off. I glared at the man. Who knew when I was to see Reno again? I wanted to talk to Reno and Rude.

I broke the silence. "So… what are you doing with me?"

Rufus shoved me to the floor and leapt back when shards of glass flew at us. I heard Reno yelp and leap away; and gunshots echoed down the hallway. Soldiers were running down the hall after whoever had just leapt into the room. Terrified, weak, and complaint, I no longer cared what happened to me. Sitting up, I glanced to see what was causing commotion.

All I could see was an outline of a long cape streaming out, and bright red eyes glaring down at me. In an instant, as the being dodge bullets, he leapt to me, landing just over me, his body and cloak shielding me from eyes and gunshots.

Without a word he extended his golden gloved hand to me, and I took it, falling against his chest. In moments, I was clutching his shoulders, his arms were around my waist, and we were flying through the sky.

0-0-0-0-0-0

The gunshots faded, and Rufus stood, a small smirk on his face. Reno leapt to his feet.

"What the hell was that?" He jumped, looking about in a frenzied state. Shaking his head, Rufus pushed Reno aside, and beckoned both Turks to follow him.

As they walked the hallway, they passed the blonde man, leaning against the wall. They exchanged no words or glances.

The blonde man looked out the broken window, past all the panicking body guards.

"The fun has just begun" He smiled.

_Older men declare war. _

_But it is the youth that must fight and die.__   
_

**Herbert Hoover**


	19. The Photo, The Document

Something was warm against my leg. Every other part of me was freezing cold. It was a cold that came from inside, and burned like fire, but so cold. It tingled and hummed in a terrible way, rattling the bones and raising the hairs on the skin. The feeling was a mix of self loathing, guilt, helplessness, and confusion. _Where am I?_

_I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. Who knows how long I've been asleep… he might be dead already._

Even as I shivered terribly, I told myself not to think that way. There had to be a hope… had to be a way… there must be something. The warmth on my leg moved.

Slowly, my swollen eyelids lifted, painstakingly slowly. I noticed I was in a library, small and circular, sitting at a desk and right across the way was the entrance. The warmth was Furball rubbing against my leg. The cat appeared and disappeared as if he were magic.

Groggily, I glanced around. There he was, the one who'd swept me away from Shinra's tight, slimy clutches. I wished he'd swiped Reno and Rude too.

"Vincent?"

When he stood, I knew it really was him. A small warmth spread amongst the cold in me, yet the terrible numbness of having lost all hope was still there, easily noticed. I wouldn't have been surprised if Vincent had walked up to me, his crimson cloak swaying about him, and asked me when it was my flesh became ice and my heart a shriveled, hopeless thing.

The tall man didn't speak, but placed something on the desk. I glanced over. It was the file Rufus had handed me, with no explanation whatsoever.

"I suppose the story you told me near Nibelheim … had some blanks in the chapters" His words weren't an accusation, merely a statement. I nodded, not totally listening, almost asleep. I wished I were asleep.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"11:09 exactly" Vincent sat across from me in an old, cobweb covered leather chair. "This is the basement beneath Nibelheim Mansion. My home" Glancing around, Vincent seemed nostalgic. "This library is the very place where Sephiroth learned 'the truth' about the Cetra and his 'mother' Jenova" He stood and moved around. "Jenova was locked away here"

"Oh" I mumbled. "No wonder she's so irritating right now"

"What Sephiroth learned" Vincent did a sweeping turn towards me. "Was a half truth. And just like him, you know a half truth. You know half of the reason of why you're here. But it is so much deeper than you know."

A few days ago, that would've intrigued me. Why couldn't someone have said that to me sooner? But still, I was respectful, and I looked up at him. But he could read my eyes; _He's gone forever. Nothing matters now._

"How long have you housed Sephiroth?" Vincent asked me.

Shrugging, I thought back. "Couldn't be more than… two or three months. Not very long. But I …"

"You knew him. Before…" Vincent muttered.

"You know about … what happened?"

"In parts" His voice as dark and melodramatic as ever, Vincent's piercing red eyes gazed up at me through fluttering black hair. I shivered. "After Cloud first defeated Sephiroth here in this Mansion, and he fell into the Lifestream and into slumber, he found you in the plane of Dreams."

"At first, he planned to use you, feeding off of your soul to be able to project himself until he was strong enough to awaken again. And you didn't mind; anything for company to escape the dark pit of loneliness."

"I'm sorry" Whispering, I clutched my shoulders. Furball had leapt into my lap, curling up against me.

"Don't. I too have done insane things to escape… that which I run from. Loneliness hurts everyone…"

As I bit my lip and glanced up at him, I wondered how he'd come by this information. Vincent always seemed to know a lot.

"So… what's going on now?"

"It seems that when you ran from Sephiroth in the Plane of Dreams, Zack led you to Gaia. Kadaj and his brothers, and your brother and the blonde girl –"

"Crystal" I smiled a little.

"It seems they raced after you immediately. But Sephiroth, utterly devastated by his own monstrosity, escaped into the realm of Dreams."

"Kadaj and the others were separated. Crystal and your brother found themselves in Wutai, and they attempted to reach the mainland immediately. Kadaj and his brothers arrived in Edge, but had to escape underground into the ruins of Midgar to escape being seen."

"After hearing rumors of Kadaj and the others being sighted, I came to Midgar to see if it was true. I found the three, and they did not fight; Kadaj explained what had happened and why they were here. They said they were looking for you, and the other members of their group."

"At this, I instructed them to immediately join Tifa at Seventh Heaven, and I set out to follow the rumors following you immediately; 'a woman with silver hair, wearing dark clothes, up in the snows of the upper continent'. You weren't hard to find."

"What about Cloud?" I interrupted him out of curiosity. I wondered if Cloud had tried to help me.

Vincent's dark eyes grew darker. "I have not spoken with Cloud for a long time. He disappeared a few weeks ago."

Surprised, I sat up in my chair, and Furball mewed his complaints. "Wait a minute… about when?"

"The end of last month"

_About the time I had the dream where Cloud and I spoke_, I desperately hoped I hadn't caused him any harm.

"Okay, go ahead" I told him somberly.

Vincent seemed to be searching my face; but he nodded and continued. "After I found you, and answered your questions, I allowed you to travel to the continent. Before leaving the North, I made sure to instruct Reno and Rude's team that, as they headed north, to avoid certain paths as they were caved in"

"You sent them after me?"

With a small smirk, Vincent nodded. "Someone had to watch out for you"

"I didn't know where Sephiroth was, and I thought he might know something about Cloud. So, I headed further north, as the rumors had stated that he'd been sighted near the Northern Crater. Yet, I didn't find him. He is amazing at what he does, so I moved on without finding him. He certainly didn't want to be found."

"I see" Nodding, I tried to keep my heart from sinking lower.

"I returned to the bar at Tifa's to see if Cloud had perhaps returned… and was visited by a surprise guest."

Curious a bit, I hoped it was a friend, hoping they were near, just at Tifa's…

"It was Head of Shinra himself" I almost gagged. Vincent actually smiled. "While I was there, Rufus made sure to show me some of this. You have that in front of you, and more."

It was then that the folder in from of the dark haired man came back to me. Glancing down at it, I wondered if I should open it. "Go ahead" Vincent told me, almost reading my mind. "It's about you"

Confused, I reached for the manila folder. Part of me really thought this folder was bad news; especially since Jenova was almost urging me to read it.

With trembling hands, I took the file and unfolded it. Only three pages were in it. One was a photo, small, dated a few years ago. Another was a file of information, and the other a timeline. There was a fourth page, but the bottom corner was badly burnt. Behind all that was a photo, but I didn't look at it yet.

"The information is about a woman who arrived on this planet a few years ago" Vincent told me. "A few months before Rufus' father was killed and Sephiroth returned."

_April 17__th__, I went out to investigate a strange pulsing aura that appeared near the Chocobo Farms. Nothing out of the ordinary once I arrived, but the aura was gone. Asked farmers, reported seeing 'odd lights' and 'bursts of color' along with 'a terrible vacuum sound' about 12:15 a.m. _

_Returned to Midgar puzzled. The aura had a similar feeling to a powerful mako; a materia spell? _

_April 23__rd__, aura reappeared, softer than before, and very near Midgar. Left immediately and arrived with aura still present. Shocked to see a huge vortex in the sky! It was like a black hole, blinding in color, flashing all sorts of shades of purple and blue. Ended about 3:15 a.m. _

_April 23__rd__, 6:35, reports of a strange woman hobbling into town. Broken arm, concussion, bleeding in the upper neck area and around the scalp; glass embedded in the skin, injuries similar to car crash. Taken to Seventh Heaven Bar and treated by citizens. _

_April 25__th__, seems the woman has very little memory, perhaps due to injuries, or the vortex, or both. The energy seems to have been a sort of materia, but none I can recognize._

I skipped a few entries.

_June 13__th__, woman (named Maria), lives with bartender Tifa Lockhart; shows no significant aura or powers, and no memories returned. _

_Was unable to write due to interruptions; Sephiroth returned and attacked Shinra. It is Nov. 16__th__; Maria is traveling with a close friend, Aerith Gainsborough. She travels with a group of rebels._

_With Aerith, Maria seems to have gained a surrogate sister/daughter, and she has begun to show some talent. Has absolutely no ability to use materia, and cannot cast magic. She also seems close to Cloud Strife, head of the rebels. Perhaps he has seen me twice during this journey._

There was blood on the next entry, and a rip through the page. Whoever had been writing had gotten hurt, or something had happened.

_Maria has still no memory, Aerith died three months ago. Is engaged and plans to marry in December. Lives in Edge, and works with the WRO. _

_The aura from her first arrival has appeared many times now, once when Aerith died, once when Sephiroth activated the black materia, and again when Sephiroth died. It seems the aura is that of extreme magic; this does not make sense as Maria has no magical abilities at all._

_Was able to trace the aura to the Northern Crater _

Blinking, I looked at the page again. I squinted. "There is no more" Vincent watched me grow confused in silence. Flipping the page over, I then let my eyes fall onto the photograph, a sharp gasp escaping my throat.

"What does it mean?" I shouted, standing. The cat flew from my lap and onto the floor hairs on end. In anger I kicked my chair aside. Vincent didn't seem surprised but then he never did.

"Why?" Confused and rattled I shoved the photograph in Vincent's pale face.

"Why is there a picture of my mother in this file!?"

_Bitterness is like cancer. _

_It eats upon the host._

_But anger is like fire. _

_It burns it all clean._

_  
_**Maya Angelou**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"What does this have to do with saving Sephiroth?" I mumbled. Vincent leaned down near me.

"Because, the woman Maria was thought to perhaps have been the secret to defeating the "mother". She wasn't. But there's a chance you are."

"Why not Crystal? Or Jamie? Why me? They're from a different world too, they're from Earth!"

"You and Maria had something in common" He told me. "You both – "

"STOP CALLING HER MARIA!" I shouted eyes clouded with tears. "HER NAME'S REBECCA! REBECCA!"

How Vincent could be so patient with me, I don't know. He placed a hand on my shoulder. I quieted down.

"We have to understand this to save Sephiroth" Vincent muttered. "For as long as Jenova's around, he'll never be free"

"I hate you" I muttered, knowing very well she was laughing at me, my misery. "I want to kill you"

"There must be a way we can" He told me. "We'll find a way. Now, Rufus has delayed the execution so that we could prepare –"

"Rufus?" I wondered surprised. "Why is he helping?"

With a thoughtful look, Vincent paused in his words. "In his own words, he told me – retribution." Standing, he shrugged his lean shoulders. "I don't suppose I know what he means"

"I still don't like him" I muttered. But I stood too.

"Come on" He told me. "Tifa's waiting."

"What – what are we going to do?" I whispered.

Smirking over his shoulder, Vincent swung the door wide for me. "We're going to interrupt an execution"

0-0-0-0-0-0

As I clung to Vincent's chest and he soared through the air, I wondered why I hadn't realized it sooner. It didn't really make a difference, it was just curious to me. A small serene smile on my lips in the way of a tiny light of hope in misery, I mulled over the thoughts.

It was so strange why Zack had watched over me. I wondered why he had. I suppose he felt like he should, after the near death car crash he'd saved me from. Now I really knew. He'd known that I would grow up to make his old friend happy, if only for a little while. Somehow, it was fate, that I would meet Sephiroth.

Part of me felt like I'd lost my mother all over again. Another wanted to forget I ever had a mother.

_(mother mother mother love me mother where did you go I stole your mother mother's dead take away my curse)_

0-0-0-0-0-0

As we flew I tried to put the pieces together.

It started when I was born and almost killed that day as a child; Zack Fair died in my place and began watching over me, for no reason I can really believe but fate.

Then, years later, my mother was killed in a car crash. According to Rufus' file, she or someone who looked like her arrived in Midgar almost two and a half years ago, before the events of Final Fantasy VII, but close to the beginning of the game. She had no memory, and Tifa took her in.

Even though a lot of holes were in the paper, it seemed that, though the character wasn't mentioned in the game, "Maria" traveled with the group, either for the whole time, or part of it. She had no powers.

I also had to think back to the temple, where I found the necklace that looked like something had been removed from it. I wondered if it had meant anything to Aerith.

We began our descent at the edge of Edge, so as to not draw attention. The cold metal of Vincent's clawed hand grasped mine, and I jumped. A little surprised, realization came over the cold man's face, and he turned to face me and offer his other hand.

"No" I whispered. "I'm fine, just taken by surprise, that's all"

"Deep in thought?" He wondered.

I nodded.

"Yeah"

I took hold of his golden, frozen hand, and he led me quickly and quietly into the night life of Edge, towards the Seventh Heaven.

Vincent's stature and demeanor drove most away, so we had no trouble making it through the city. As we approached the bar, I tried taking everything it; the sound of patting feet upstairs, running water coming from the kitchen, laughter and humming from all around. This was the busy part of the night, I would think, yet it was empty tonight. I saw on the door a "closed" sign.

Vincent pushed the door open and pulled me inside, not missing a beat even as the children gasped in delight and ran to him. Behind the bar, a woman looked up, a serious determination in her eyes, and she began shooing the children upstairs. She was easily recognizable as the busty beauty of Final Fantasy VII; Tifa.

I hadn't truly disliked her, but something about her intimidated me. Perhaps it was the freedom in her personality; in the part of my heart I held fear and hesitation, she had a friendly smile and open arms. Not even Sephiroth had warmed that part of me. I bit my lip.

As the little children ran up, I noticed more than a few glancing at me, and I noticed fear. They were afraid of my silver hair, and the memories it triggered; all but one. There she was, a little older than in the movie, but by half a year. It was Marlene, protectively being pulled by Denzel towards the stairs. Her innocent, fascinated eyes were on me, until they disappeared from sight behind the wall.

I felt Vincent let go and step aside, and suddenly I felt very naked in front of this woman so much braver than me. I felt so weak.

But of course; there was her kind smile. "Hi; I'm Tifa. You're Samantha, right?"

"Uh… you can call me... Sam" I stuttered slightly, feeling my hands shake a little. But I got down to business. "Where's Sephiroth right now? What are we planning?"

Tifa didn't point out my eagerness; instead she led me to the pinball machine. I was a little confused until it turned into an elevator that led Vincent, Tifa, and I into a secret basement.

As the wheels turned and we went into the earth, I heard a few more voices. Barely, I could recognize one, and I smiled; finally someone not so intimidating, yet still so cool. The accent and cursing had to be Cid from the movie. I hoped so. He'd reminded me of my beloved uncle. I wondered if he smelt like him too, smelt like smoke.

Sure enough, I turned and the first thing I saw was a tuff of blonde hair and a big grin, with a cigarette in his hand. Part of me wanted to smile; but the happiness button in my heart had frozen over. _Have to Save Sephiroth_

The three of us stepped out, and a few other people were there; I didn't truly recognize them. One had dark hair and was in a suit. Another was an old man, which was strange, since I'd heard nothing of an old man in the movie at all.

Shyly, I stepped out, but stepped back to allow Vincent and Tifa to be front of me. Vincent stepped back into the shadows and Tifa stood over by the table and smiled over at me. "Everyone, this is the girl, Sam…"

"W – Wiley" I told them. My entire lower arm was shaking.

"Hey, kid, no need to be jittery, we don't bite" Cid grinned and winked, and a part of me felt warmer. Cid made me feel secure.

"Well, this is part of our group" Tifa began. "I'm afraid we couldn't all be here since we're all… well…"

"Doing different missions?" The one in the suit smirk kindly. Tifa gave him a look.

"The smart ass is Reeve" Cid introduced the one in the suit and he waved at me with a fatherly smiled. I kind of liked him.

"And I am Bugenhagen!" The old one laughed. I noticed he was floating on a … green ball. Shaking my head, I wondered if I'd start seeing dragons and unicorns next.

"Nice to meet you" Summoning all my fleeting courage I dropped the small talk. "Where's Sephiroth?"

Almost immediately, I noticed Cid's hand went to his harpoon, ready to fight, but Tifa put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes went wide and he laughed sheepishly. "Hehe… sorry. Old habits, you know"

This was not looking good.

"Sephiroth is being held underground in the prison below the Gold Saucer, and it's at the Saucer that they're gonna kill em" Cid told me. The others didn't seem too teary eyed over it, but there was a terrible sadness amongst them.

"So what's the plan?"

"At the moment, Yuffie is in the Saucer with Barret" Tifa said, sitting down at the table with a world map in front of her. A little braver, I stepped up and joined them. Reeve politely scooted down so I could sit, so I shyly sat beside him.

"My Grandson, Nanaki, is near Nibelheim" Bugenhagen began. "A few Shinra soldiers have been messing around with the technology there, and we don't think Rufus knows about it"

"So, somebody's pulling the strings?"

"Well, we know Rufus didn't originally want Sephiroth killed in front of everybody. He wasn't even going to let the public know he'd come back. Somebody let it leak" Reeve said. "I know; I may not work at Shinra anymore, but Rufus has told me as much."

"Here's our master plan!" Cid cheered.

_All right guys…_

_Masamune has been placed in that crazy guys museum; you know, the one who owns the Saucer and has all those treasures? The sword's been added to his presentation so our master ninja is gonna steal it back. _

_While that happens tonight, we'll all be ready to get Sephiroth out of there. I'm going to ask to visit Sephiroth in his cell with Reeve. While that happens, Vincent will help Cid get into the control room. They're going to fix the camera to look like Sephiroth is still in his cell even though Reeve and I are gonna bust him out._

_Reno and Rude are going to be with Rufus the whole night, but at shift change, Tseng and Elena take over, and Reno and Rude will come get us out of the prison. At this point, Vincent will be in Sephiroth's cell pretending to be him, and we'll take the real Sephiroth out of there._

_"Wait, I don't get it. Why do you guys want to help him?"_

…

For the first time, Vincent spoke up.

"None of you need come with me. But this must be done if I am ever to atone"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_I can forgive, but I cannot forget,_

_Is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. _

_Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, _

_So that it never can be shown against one._

_  
_**_Henry Ward Beecher_**


	20. Darling Mother

I paused for a moment, and glanced up at the dark man.

_What? I don't get it…_

From the dark looks of my companions and the determined look on Vincent's I had a feeling there was something personal in his and Sephiroth's history. For some reason he was determined to help out the silver haired man.

Nodding, I turned back to the group. "Well… what about Kadaj and them?"

Cid cleared his throat and looked to Tifa. Slowly she nodded and began again.

_Okay, when we take Sephiroth, he will probably fight back, so you need to be down there to talk him out of it, Sam._

_Vincent will be headed for the execution block; but due to his… abilities… he won't be killed. Sure chopping off his head will kill him, but Rufus is going to intervene. _

_He will at the last moment, say that the death is too gruesome, and quick, and instead they will electrocute him. Luckily one of Vincent's demons is rather adept with electricity so Vincent will be just fine. When they go to dispose of the body, Rufus will help Vincent get back to us._

"And from there, we will all drive off into the sunset, mission accomplished!" Cid cheered and took a puff of his cigarette.

"Of course, you youngsters will have to lay low for a while, but soon enough all the rumors will quit and everyone will forget Sephiroth! Haha!" Bugenhagen laughed joyously, as if it was all in the bag. I wasn't so sure. The margin for error was tiny; the smallest mistake and it could all mess up, and more than one person could end up in jail, or dead. I was worried for Sephiroth and Vincent.

"Well, if it's the best we got." I sighed. Tifa gave me a look.

"It's the most we can do I'm afraid." Reeve muttered, brushing his hair back. I looked up.

"Where are my friends? Crystal, Jamie? Loz, Kadaj, Yazoo?" Frantically I looked for a sign as I said the names that someone was in trouble. No eyes flashed.

"They've all left." Cid put his hands behind his head.

"Huh?" Glancing around I looked for some sort of explanation. Why would they leave?

"As soon as we told them about Cloud's disappearance, they left to find him." Tifa explained with a somber smile. "I hope they find him."

"The fools insist he's gotta show up and help out. I say, hell yeah he does, but when does that fool listen to his elders?" Cid laughed. I really liked him.

"Well, whatever happens lets get this show on the road." Proclaiming loudly I stood and looked around for agreement. "I can't sit here and not do anything."

"Hell yeah!" Taking a big swig of his tea, Cid grinned. "Let's get the ship fired up!"

The group seemed to agree. We all hurried up the secret elevator, a few at a time, Cid hollering about something down below. I smiled a little as we rose through the air.

_It'll be okay_

_It'll be all right, everything will be –_

Heart wrenching pain. As soon as we came out of the lower level and slid to a stop, we came face to face with a few children playing. And they stopped to look at us. And the little boy looked right at me.

I could see through him, into him, within him, all around him, as my eyes dissected his soul and he stood transfixed by me. As Tifa and Bugenhagen stepped off, they were surprised to see me standing still, unable to move, transfixed by the boy's eyes.

It was a predator feeling. A hunger, deep in my heart, to feed on something. And the boy had already been touched, been tainted, by the black waters, by Jenova's blood. I could feel it in his marrow, I could feel his heart beat, his blood flow, I could sense the eye muscles twitch as he stared at me. It was all surreal as I slowly stepped out towards him.

"Sam, are you hungry? We can have lunch before we… go… Sam?" Tifa stared at me as I quietly stepped across the room to the boy. Like it was far away I could hear his friends taunt him for staring dumbly at me, but he didn't respond. As prey would realize there is no escape the boy stood still, watching me come closer. When I was deathly close, he backed away.

The elevator rose again. I heard shouts. "Samantha?"

Jenova felt Vincent realize what was happening and she forced me to leap for Denzel, but thankfully the dark man had me first. My teeth had grown over my lips, my eyes dilated and turned dark, my nails grown longer; I thrashed and hissed as Vincent held me, and the demons in him hissed and snarled to prove their domination. I fought too, inside me, to knock her off. The spell over the boy Denzel broke and he raced up the stairs, just as I came to my sense.

"What the hell was that?" Cid gawked, staring at me as I took long, hard breaths on the floor.

Rolling over slowly I looked up at everyone. Tifa had raced upstairs to find Denzel. Reeve was staring in horror and total confusion, a cold sweat having broken on his skin. I could actually hear the sweat droplets rolling down his porcelain skin. I could see Cid's breath leave his mouth from feet away, as his smoke ridden lungs worked double time.

Upstairs, I heard Tifa and Denzel, word for word, I heard the children playing and talking, their heartbeats and their breathing and their footsteps…

_"Tifa who is she? What just happened? Tifa?"_

_"Don't worry, Denzel, its okay, she won't hurt you. She can't hurt you anymore."_

_"Tifa! Tifa!"_

My own lungs heaved, and in my head I heard Vincent and Jenova fighting in a battle of words that I was not strong enough to enter into. They all stared at me like I had suddenly changed without reason. The children, the adults, everyone…

So this was what it was to be a monster.

0-0-0-0

_No man knows till he has suffered from the night how sweet and dear to his heart and eye the morning can be._

_  
_**Bram Stoker **

_(For those who don't know, Stoker wrote __Dracula._

_Bram's birthday is November 23, 1842. Happy Birthday Bram!)_

I was sitting in one of the ship rooms with my head against the glass, staring at the lifeless, desert scenery outside as it flew by. My hands handcuffed with materia powered chains and the door sealed with some sort of spell, I sat and waited for our arrival at the Saucer.

It was my idea to seal the door, and Tifa's idea to handcuff me just in case. Bugenhagen stayed behind to comfort the boy, which made our journey just a bit more difficult. It was my fault. Part of me wondered if in the end I would be the one who caused our failure. If Sephiroth or Vincent died I would never forgive myself.

Somehow, I was still shaking – literally, physically shaking from the adrenaline rush that Jenova was still basking in. She was feeding off of my soul now, off of the pain and hate radiating from it – and for each painful, hateful thought I grew weaker; and her stronger. So I stopped thinking about the pain and the hate. I thought about grassy fields.

I thought about years in my childhood during which graveyards were places other people buried their dead and the house was a home, a warm place I wanted to be in.

I could run through the backdoor after a hard day of playing in the forest to see my mother making Jamie's favorite chicken parmesan and I could smell it in the air. My father would be in the reading room, looking over the newspaper, or writing a new novel. My mother wouldn't be dead.

My heart ached and wondered why I let Jamie drift away the years following our mother's death. I suppose I became such an emotion wreck that we simply didn't get along anymore. It made sense that it was my fault. I simply hoped that before it was all over I could thank him and beg forgiveness for what I'd done in the past.

But before all of that, I had to save Sephiroth, and keep Vincent from dying in the process; I had to get rid of Jenova. Somehow.

I heard the door open, but Jenova didn't bother moving. She had no care for anyone outside the room; it was me she wanted to suffer and suck dry. So I didn't bother looking up when my visitor walked in. I was sure it was Vincent at first, but then I smelt smoke.

"Hey there, missy." Cid smiled and waved his cigarette hand at me. How he could smoke all the time I didn't know. Even though I made no response, Cid walked a little closer.

"You don't want to do that. At the moment she's content but I don't want her to hurt you." Quietly I whispered to him, hoping he would simply leave.

"I've killed that bitch so many times she don't even lift the hairs on my neck. Though that performance of yours earlier… that was on the creepier side."

I smiled at Cid's attempt to be funny. He was funny actually. And what he said was true.

"I – I'm so sorry."

"Hey, you didn't do nothin to me." Cid chuckled and leaned against the window. "Now, that kid, you might wanna say somethin to him next chance you get."

"I hope I never have to cross paths with him again. I don't need to put him through that." I rubbed my nose and looked back out the window.

"Hey, kid."

Slowly, I looked up to the older man. His voice had changed.

He nodded towards what was under his arm. It was the folder Rufus had given me. "Vincent told me a bit more about the story than some of the others. Thought I might take it better. I guess he figured ya might need someone to talk to bout it and he ain't exactly the jabber mouth of the century, huh?"

Nodding, I smiled and agreed, wiping my eyes. Cid smiled too. "See, you've still got a heart, I know that. Just cause Jenova's tryin to beat you out, don't let her. You've got more to ya than that, I know."

I looked up at him, genuinely curious. "How do you know?"

It was Cid's turn to smile and nod. "I knew your mom."

Somehow that didn't surprise me. "Let me guess… "Maria"." Grinning as he put his cigarette to his lips again, Cid winked at me.

"We knew her as Maria, all right… always got pissy about my smoking."

"Smoking killed my dad." I told him. Cid looked surprised.

"Oh. Well, anyway… what I'm saying is, your mother could light the darkest hours with a smile and those pretty eyes of hers. She was always lookin out for all of us, even Yuffie when that little brat stole our materia! I was gonna harpoon her ass, but Maria stood up for her. What was her … well, her real name?"

To stretch my aching muscles, I stood and rolled my neck, my shoulders, and so forth. "Her real name…" I smiled.

"My father use to call her by her full name sometimes when they were playing back and forth. '_Rebecca Judd Wiley_' he said '_where have you been all my life_'? He made her smile. I didn't like him as much, but… I loved my mom."

Smiling, Cid nodded to me again. "You look just like her. Even in your eyes. Yours are a lot darker and afraid of a lot, I know, but even with Jenova lurking in there, I see your mother more than anything. Hold her close she's your best weapon against that leech."

Surprised by that train of thought I looked up.

"My … my mother?"

As he turned to leave, Cid smirked and gave me a thumbs up. "What's better to fight off a psycho mother in law other than your own mom?" He told me. It made sense.

Before he left I called after Cid.

"Did my mother like it here? I mean… well, what happened to her?"

Almost as if he knew it was coming Cid sighed and turned back to me.

"After the battle with Sephiroth few years back, she settled down in Edge and got married, had a kid. Maybe a year ago, she started… well, having attacks."

A sudden memory drifted to me.

_"An old friend of mine has a friend who has recently been having these… attacks. Screaming and going unconscious for days. _

_When she awoke, she'd tell us about these dreams, seeing memories, but not remembering them. It was as if she was dreaming of someone else's life."_

I remembered seeing Cloud in the dream, and I remembered him telling me about his "friend" who was having attacks…

"Well, she kept having these nightmares and spasms and stuff, so we asked Shinra if they could help him out. I don't like him much, but he's got connections. So, we asked him to help her. Maybe a day or two after that… she disappeared. Just plain gone. Rufus himself had no fucking clue… well, that's what he told us."

So the friend Cloud had been talking about was actually "Maria"; my mother. "She … disappeared?"

"Haven't seen her since. And hell, we've looked. But… well, eventually we found this note. "Don't follow me". We truly did try… she was our friend. Her husband was devastated. Her son… was simply too young to understand."

"I… have another brother?" _And a step father?_

Cid nodded, and turned to walk away again, flicking the last bits of his cigarette into a nearby ashtray. "I guess she simply couldn't take it anymore, and she left."

"Like Virginia Woolf." I muttered. "She simply couldn't take being crazy anymore, and flung herself into a river, leaving a family and her husband behind."

Cid watched the sad realization on my face, and he left without a word. We both had made the same realization, and deep in my heart I was very afraid of it. I looked over at the door.

I had to kill Jenova somehow. If I became less and less myself and more like a psychopathic murderer...

I just might make that river plunge.

0-0-0-0

I saw the saucer in the distance coming closer as I thought over everything I had learned. The connection between Sephiroth and I grew stronger, but I could feel him cutting it off. I had to speak to him before he made a grave mistake.

I just hoped Jenova let me live that long.


	21. JENE Project

_But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, _

_A harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it_

_As though it had an underlying truth._

**Umberto Eco**

The sun was setting as we pulled into the little town at the base of the Golden Saucer. I don't remember its name, but I remember Cid mentioning that one of their friends, someone already in the Saucer, had been born and raised there, back in the town's better days. Once it had been a mining town, but no more; as I walked silently, head down, through the town, I felt it all; almost like the memories were still there, thick in the air, Jenova made me experience it all; everything Shinra did to the town.

A lot of people died and a lot of things were destroyed. Jenova didn't care more or less; but her power reached out and snatched the memories from thin air. My weak soul was beginning to bare more than it could. If I thought I was miserable before, well now…

But now I had friends, and hope. I had to save him.

"You ready?" Cid turned around and looked to me before we entered the rail car that would take us to the Golden Saucer. I nodded my head.

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Tifa murmured as she stepped past us to get on the cart. "What if Jenova acts up?"

I shook my head. "She wants to kill me, not Sephiroth. She won't interfere" I promised. "And I assure you I won't let anything get in the way of saving Sephiroth _and_ Vincent. I promise." After hearing this, Tifa gave one last glance to her feet and a sigh, then smiled, and walked into the cart.

Cid grinned at me. "Shall we?"

0-0-0-0

Rising up into the Golden Saucer was a very memorable experience, even after all of the memorable things that have happened to me recently. All of the lights and sounds and magic all around was like one of Earth's theme parks on a whole new level, with the stars shining above the finishing touch. For the first time I was actually glad it was night. But the idea that in three hours the execution would begin dimmed the light of the spectacle.

"Get ready guys, we're coming up. Sam, put your hood up." I immediately followed Reeve's order and pulling the hood low over my face to hide my obvious hair.

"All right, since Reeve still has his Shinra pass we'll get in easy enough. We gotta split first thing. Me and Vincent are heading towards the battle dome; Tifa and Reeve are going towards the Chocobo races and then the prisons."

I interrupted Cid for a question. "Which way should I head?"

He glanced back at me. "For now hang low. You're our trump card if Sephiroth goes nuts." Though my heart felt a little darker, I agreed. I knew it would be best if I stayed out of the way.

"Good luck, everyone." I murmured as the cart came to a halt at the top.

"Yes" Reeve muttered. "We'll need all the luck we can get."

0-0-0-0

_Even peace may be purchased at too high a price._

_  
_**Benjamin Franklin**

Quickly, Reeve showed his card ID (an expired one that Rude had so kindly altered for us) and we all hurried inside. I hung my head low and tried to act shy, but I felt the attendant's prying eyes on me. Trying not to bring too much suspicion, I looked up and smiled shyly. He seemed to then decide I was the "girl who's really nervous around guys" sort of person. I didn't correct him.

Then we split, Reeve using his card to get to where Sephiroth was. It took all my strength to force me not to follow him. Instead, I wandered off, hoping that I wouldn't be needed. I hoped that everything would go smoothly without me. Turning my thoughts to stranger matters I wandered off to who knows where.

According to what Reeve had said, it sounded like something was going on inside the Shinra association. And Cid had mentioned that my mother had disappeared in the association, and that even Rufus had no idea why… something fishy was going on.

Even though Jenova had been trying to kill me, I wondered if I couldn't use her powers to my advantage. Or perhaps the powers I'd inherited from Sephiroth would help – something to solve the mystery. I had to find out what was going on… before anyone paid the price. Especially if my mother was involved…

Yet though I supposed there was the chance she might be alive, I hadn't really thought of finding her. It was a far off idea I could hardly comprehend – my mother had been dead for years; I thought…

The clock chimed nine times telling how late it was. It would still be a few hours before the execution. So many things had to go right for everything to end happily… I felt shivers race down my spine.

It was then I realized that that night was the night that would change everything. I had four hours left… Four hours to solve the mystery, save Sephiroth –

Four hours to kill Jenova before it was too late.

0-0-0

_Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep._

**Fran Lebowitz**

"_Sam? Sam, you there_?"

Quickly I rushed into a dark corner and hit the button on my cell phone. "Yeah. What's going on?"

"_Cid's in._"

"Already?" I shouldn't have been surprised since the group had been working together for a long time, but they certainly acted quickly. "So what happens now?"

"_We're gonna wait a little while before switching Vincent and Sephiroth. Reno and Rude switch in thirty minutes. Do you want… well… you should probably be with us then."_

Even though she couldn't see me I shook my head. "I can't go near him. Please."

"_How are we going to save him then?" _Tifa's voice was full of indignation. "Come on. _I know you're worried about hurting people, but we need you_."

"Tifa… I can't – he won't listen to me anyway. I tried already." I was backing out I knew, but I was sure they didn't need me. Couldn't Vincent convince him? Someone?

For a moment the other end was silent.

"_Look, I know you don't like me much. I'm sorry. But you can't back out of this. Sephiroth will only listen to you! We don't have any influence!"_

_"I know you're worried and you're really sick right now… but I know what happens when fear comes in the way of love. Love loses. I know first hand."_

It was easy to feel the pain in her voice. Biting my lip, I sighed and agreed.

"I'll be there. I'll do it."

_Jenova, stay out of my way._

0-0-0

Fourteen minutes had passed as I walked around the park. I was terribly worried and also nervous. I focused on driving Jenova as far back into my mind as possible so I could perhaps have a normal conversation with Sephiroth.

Toying with the chain around my neck I felt the breaks in the chain. Once again I wondered about its significance. Everything was so confusing…

Still, I had a quarter of an hour to kill. The area was getting packed even that early into the night. So I hurried away, head hung low, trying to remain inconspicuous. Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw something.

It was a fluffy white cat.

"Furball?"

Utterly surprised and stumped, I wondered again how the strange cat had suddenly appeared out of thin air. This couldn't be a coincidence anymore, I knew; why did the cat keep showing up? Where did it go? Why was it running down a dark hallway, looking back as if to see if I were following?

Shaking my head, I glanced around and took a chance; quickly hurrying after the feline. At the end of the hall was one door, leading into the building. The cat sat down beside it, licked its paw, and looked at me as if to ask when I would open the door for it.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled my sleeve down over my hand and opened the door – to make sure I didn't leave fingerprints. Hurrying inside, the cat slipped between my legs and disappeared into the dark.

"Furball! Wait a minute!" I protested, trying to be quiet but also trying to chase the cat. I tripped over something in the dark, hit my head on the ground, and groaned.

Irritated with a mild headache, I sat up, trying to pierce the darkness and find the animal. Then, to my surprise, I could see; surely someone had turned a light on. But truthfully, I simply calmed down and began looking with my more powerful eyes; I was a little confused as to why I couldn't just see immediately, but oh well. I spotted the cat and chased after it.

We went down another hall in the dark building, and to my surprise there was no one present. It was either a time of day no one was around or the building was abandoned. I hoped for the latter.

Eventually the hallway opened up into a larger, circular room from which the only exit was the hall we came from. Again, with a sneer at the cat I wondered how it knew where to go. But instead of wondering how, I thought why. Why was it important to find this room? I looked for clues.

The Golden Saucer was an amusement park, essentially; not the sort of place you'd find this type of thing. It was a giant computer, with cords strung everywhere, and what looked like blood stains. Of course, when I thought about it, you wouldn't think of an amusement park having a prison beneath it, or holding an execution. This wasn't an ordinary amusement park.

Sighing I walked up to the computer, and pulled my sleeves over my hands. I began to push buttons, to see if it still worked. The start up screen appeared, and I was asked for a password.

"Shit" I hung my head and rubbed my forehead. What was I doing? Sephiroth's break out was about to begin, and I was messing around with old computers…

Suddenly the cat leapt onto the keyboard. Though I was surprised, I'd learned that the cat was more than it seemed so I backed up. A grin came to my face as the cat walked around the keyboard, pawing at the keys and entering the password.

"J – E – N – Oh yeah, that should've been obvious." I sighed, realizing the password was "Jenova". At least – that's what I thought at first.

"JENE Project 1?" I wondered, as the cat backed off and the screen started up again. The password was correct, and it left me wondering what it meant. Was the place I was in the home of the "JENE Project 1"? If so, were there other Projects, and where?

The new screen was an options screen, with a Caribbean Islands background and a martini glass as the little arrow you use to click on things. That was interesting…

"Where should I go?" I asked, turning to the cat. It was gone. "Oh, that's a surprise." I muttered, rolling my eyes; I turned back to the screen.

Four icons floated on the background; My Desktop, Projects, Internet, and Photos. The internet and desktop didn't concern me, but Projects and Photos might. I clicked on Projects first.

The page came up quick and brought up many files. I skipped most of the generic ones such as "Data" and "History" and whatnot – but I found a file that read "Sephiroth Data". I brought it up in a different page and kept reading the list. Another read "Maria Data", and you know I brought that up too. As I kept looking, it seemed as if there would be nothing left of interest, until I found a few folders at the bottom.

"Samantha Data?" Gawking, I stared at the folders. There were folders for Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo, Crystal, Jamie, and Zack. But how could they now about Zack? How did they have information on Crystal and Jamie and I, unless it was recent information?

Which meant… no matter how abandoned it looked, someone had entered new data recently. From some other computer connected to here, or to the one I was standing in front of.

Sighing I pulled up all the files and began printing. Some had a lot of pages, some only a few; but I wanted to know what it was about us that was worth filing away, and I didn't have time to stand and read it all. Only a few minutes left, and I would need to be heading towards Tifa and the others.

The pages began to print, and I exited that page and looked at the photos. Inside were pictures, with helpful little descriptions beneath.

The one that caught my eye was a beautiful light show in the nighttime sky, a picture of some sort of vortex full of hues of blue and purple, spiraling out of nowhere over the planet. It was absolutely gorgeous. The description beneath read: "_Strange mako reading, April 23__rd__, outside of Midgar around 3:00 a.m._" I remembered from the Shinra file that on that same date there was an entry about a strange vortex in the sky, and hours later my mother "Maria" hobbled into Midgar, with wounds similar to that of a car crash. Had that vortex brought her here? And just who was documenting the information on me and those close to me? Why?

Sighing I glanced at the printer and hurried over, beginning to organize the information. It was a lot, but I was able to get it under my jacket and keep it against my body, hoping it would stay there. Once the printing was done, I looked at my watch and gasped.

"Time to go" Pulling my hood lower for good measure, I hurried away out of the building, back towards the horrendous crowds.

0-0-0

As I came closer, I opened myself up, hoping he'd sense me. The crowds were getting huge, and I found it hard to find my way. I kept being pushed along, shoved, getting lost in the storm of people, unable to find my way, trying hard to keep the precious documents in my jacket safe from harm. Somehow, I knew I wouldn't make it to Sephiroth; I didn't want to. I wasn't strong enough to face him yet – not until Jenova was gone. I had to get rid of her – and I hoped the JENE Project information would give me a clue.

So, giving up on trying getting to him, I opened my mind, searched for him, tried to find his soul among the thousands there – it was easy. Though he tried to hide from me, I could tell it was him simply by a gut feeling.

_"Sephiroth?"_

I heard him sigh, and giggled. It was really him. Closing my eyes I tried to see what he saw.

His jail cell was quiet, eerie, except for footsteps coming down the hall – they were quick, too quick – which meant it was Tifa and Reeve hurrying toward him without me. I tried reaching Tifa.

"_Tifa – it's me, Sam. I'm talking to Sephiroth. Hang back a moment._"

The echo of footsteps came to a stop. Taking in a deep breath, I tried to calm my beating heart.

"_S – Sephiroth?_"

"**_Yes_**"

At least he'd answered – I sighed in relief. The crowd kept pulling my around, but I didn't bother trying to hold my ground.

"_We – we're here to save you._"

"**_I know_**."

"_So – are you coming?_"

"**_You know my answer, darling_**."

I ignored the butterflies in my stomach from his nickname for me – instead I frowned and tried to think of what to say. It came to me easily.

"_Sephiroth, what good does this do? All those people that died – it wasn't your fault! You – and I – even Cloud and a lot of other people were manipulated by Jenova, by Shinra, it was a mess! You can't take this on your shoulders and say it's all your fault! Please!"_

He remained silent. I continued.

"_The people will be led to believe you've died. They will be at peace, and so will we! We could – start that life you were talking about. Maybe start a family – who knows? All the peace and serenity we've ever wanted – far away from everyone. It'll be great._"

"_You're my everything. The reason I'm still alive. And whatever happened before, how we met, I don't care. The past is past already. Whatever you've done, I can forgive. Aren't you going to forgive yourself?"_

Once again, I heard nothing from him. Still, I waited, hoping to hear something, anything at all. He sighed, and said to me,

"**_I can't. Forgive me._**"

Appalled and enraged, I screamed aloud, "Sephiroth!"

The crowd didn't notice me, even as I sobbed, but as I lost my way in the group I hit someone head on, falling back onto the ground.

Whoever I'd run into had turned around to apologize, until they saw me flat on the ground. Groaning I started to sit up. I felt lightning in my veins, anger at everything in the world. I hadn't even noticed my hood falling off.

His eyes went wide like saucers, and his friends turned to look. I felt tension begin to grow in the crowd, rage, and fear; it was palpable like a cold breeze. Realization dawned on me, but somehow it didn't matter.

"M – Monster!" The man in front of me declared, glaring at me angrily.

"**_Really_**?" I chuckled, glancing up from behind my matted hair at him. "**_Who are you to tell me what I am_**?" Growling, I walked up to him and pushed him back. Fear grew in his eyes. "**_So? Come now – who am I? Tell me, mighty one, if you're so good to say so_**!" The pushes became more violent, and with my final words I flung him into the wall.

The people started panicking – screaming, even, some of them. Some still hadn't really realized anything was wrong.

"**_Come ON_**!" I roared, claws growing on my hands, fangs extending over my lips. I suddenly felt Sephiroth trying to contact me; I could feel his confusion and worry. "**_Who wants to _****PLAY**?" With that, I gave a tremendous roar at the crowd, shaking the ground, my eyes cat like and full of rage.

The rage wouldn't dim, even when I began panicking inside at the first scent of blood.

It was all over my hands, and screams were echoing in my ears, but I couldn't even see what I was doing or stop myself. Was this what it was like for Sephiroth when Jenova forced him to kill? Everything was a haze… it was like a horrible nightmare.

The plaza was a catastrophe, people racing away in fear, screams everywhere, bodies on the ground, blood streaming from them. I felt my heart race; - even the "guards" who'd rushed to the plaza were shivering in fear. I hated it – the beast inside of me was reveling in the feeling.

Before I knew it, even as bullets pierced my skin and buzzed around me, the guards were all dead. No one stood between Jenova (me) and total annihilation for the entire Golden Saucer.

_Why not? _Jenova whispered to me_. They all came to see our lover die._

"Not your lover" I whispered. "And soon, not even mine." Tears came to my eyes, and I roared in agony.

"Quiet down" I heard a firm voice say behind me. Jenova spun me around. "Or will I have to make you?"

A large sword in hand, the speaker stepped into the area, his blonde hair shining in the light.

Cloud Strife had come to the rescue –

He came to kill me.


	22. The End: Part One

_A happy family is but an earlier heaven._

**George Bernard Shaw**

He looked exactly like he had in the movie – handsome, powerful, and tinged with sadness. When Cloud Strife walked into the plaza, and drew his sword against me, one thought went through my mind – _freedom_.

Death had walked into my arms, and I would gladly accept it – if only the others hadn't run up behind him. Crystal, curls streaming behind her, raced into the area, screaming as Cloud rushed me. I smiled at her, fighting Jenova inside so I would stay totally still. Though I was happy to see him, I truly wished Jamie hadn't shown up – I hadn't wanted him to see my death. The sword came down, and I heard screams.

"No!"

Suddenly I blacked out, shock rushing through my system; when I opened my eyes, Jenova was totally gone – still within, but she had lost control. Shaking uncontrollably I fell to my knees – Cloud was unconscious in front of me.

"C – Cloud" Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo joined us, confused and surprised. Racing around the dead bodies and pools of blood, Crystal came to my side. Unable to stop myself, I sobbed and fell into her arms, as she held me tightly.

"Sister!" Loz joined us and the others too. Kadaj leaned down to Cloud, seeing him unharmed.

"What happened?" Jamie looked like he was going to be sick. "W – Wha?" The stench and the sight got to the boy – he fell, eyes rolled back in his head, and Yazoo caught him.

"Did Jenova do this?" Crystal implored, bringing me to my feet. My knees were weak, and so was my voice – I nodded.

"Did you knock Cloud out?" Loz was shocked. So was I; the muscle man picked Cloud up, and he moved in his sleep.

"How'd he fall asleep?" Crystal pulled me up into her arms, bridal style, and I did not complain. Tears streaming down my face, I pulled myself up into Crystal's shoulder. Bad move – her pulse echoed in my ears, and the bloodlust rose.

"C – Crystal – let me go!" I began thrashing again. Being the weirdo she is, Crystal just frowned and head butted me.

"Shut up, Jenova!" She proclaimed – my blood lust was suddenly gone.

"Ow!" I frowned, rubbing my head.

"So what's going on?" Kadaj looked to me.

"We're trying to break Sephiroth out, but he won't do it. The fool wants to die!" Again I tried to stand, but stubborn Crystal wouldn't let me.

"Well we can't let that happen." Yazoo had Jamie in his arms.

"Let's save him and then kick his ass for ever thinking he could leave us." Loz grinned.

So there we were – the back up team; two people unconscious, one unable to stand, and three odd brothers. Kadaj noticed the fact he was the only one not holding someone, and he asked why as we began to move on.

"If you held them their feet would drag on the floor." Yazoo smirked, walking past his shorter brother. Kadaj's jaw dropped as we moved on without him, laughing.

"H – Hey!" Kadaj frowned deeply, racing after us.

I was not laughing, though it was funny. I couldn't laugh – not as long as my hands kept shaking, my nail beds dirtied with blood.

But still, I didn't feel so bad. Something was changing – I looked over at Cloud. And I wondered what the white light had been. Something was changing. And maybe – when the change came and the old left to be replaced by the new Jenova would leave too – forever.

_I don't know you _

_  
But I want you _

_  
All the more for that_

We hadn't walked ten feet when we were surrounded by guards. And these were not the Saucer guards – these guys were with Shinra, and the blonde bastard I'd met only too often when with Shinra was there, smirking at me. I suddenly felt like walking again.

"Put me down" I told Crystal, eyes angry. She hesitated, for once genuinely afraid of Jenova. I smiled at her. "Don't worry – I just want to wipe that smirk off his face forever." Sensing my intentions, Crystal smirked and nodded, setting me down.

Even as Kadaj drew his sword and followed me, I sauntered towards the man; his entourage powered up their guns, calling threats – I could still feel the metal imbedded in me from earlier, and didn't even flinch. But I did pause and turn to my friends.

"Go" I told them. Kadaj smirked and came to stand beside me. "We've got this. Get out of here" Crystal and Loz shared a look – then, she took Jamie from him, and Loz grinned running out to join us. Yazoo and Crystal, with their unconscious companion, bid us luck. Of course, the soldiers around us didn't want them leaving, but they didn't have a choice – Yazoo took Crystal's hand and raced off, gone without a trace.

"Let's play" Loz grinned, his arm weapon ready. I turned and flexed my claws – raising one hand I pointed at the blonde – then I elegantly flicked him off. Kadaj and Loz laughed.

"Don't kill them" I whispered, still focused on the blonde. "Please" Kadaj and Loz did not seem surprised by my request. "Enough have died tonight."

Frowning, the blonde walked out. "What's your name?" I asked loudly as he joined us.

"Why ask?" He smirked, removing his gloves. "You won't need it."

"Tell me – or I'll beat it out of you." Loz and Kadaj backed away, turning towards the soldiers.

"Wanna play?" Loz repeated, leaping into the hordes. Kadaj attacked the other side with a yell, and the fight began around us.

The man and I stood at a stand still as he drew a strange sword – made totally out of energy, the weapon vibrated like lightning.

_**Samantha?**_

I hesitated. "Sephiroth?"

_Words fall through me _

_  
And always fool me _

_  
And I can't react_

_**No – it's Cloud.**_

I was surprised to hear from the man and a question immediately came to mind. _ How did you get knocked out?_

_**I can't really explain it right now – but I've got news from Tifa. Sephiroth's out. Vincent's in place, and we've still got some time before the execution – it's been delayed until the "intruders are silenced". **_

"Ah" I smiled.

"What are you smiling about?" The blonde sneered.

"Nothing – just thrilled!" As I shouted I raced at him, my fist aimed at his stomach. He was taken by surprised and flung back, blood streaming from his mouth. I grinned at the small victory – _I can do this_. Jenova's soul vibrated inside me, and I shoved her aside as I charged the man. Joy was rushing through me – Sephiroth would be okay!

_How'd that happen? _I asked, tears streaming down my face as I dodged the blonde's blade.

_**Vincent. No one knows what he said to him, but Sephiroth came out almost in tears. I've never seen him cry before. And when he saw me – it was almost like he was himself again. The old him.**_

"He is" I grinned, reaching to kick the blonde's shin. He jumped back.

_**Thanks to you. We haven't been introduced, but I've heard a lot about you.**_

"Me – too!" I flipped backwards, dodging the blade – it cut my shoulder and I winced. "You're – kinda a hero of mine!"

I could sense his sudden embarrassment. _**T – Thank you**_I giggled.

Suddenly a blow came from my left – Kadaj flew into me, knocking us both back. "Sorry sister." He grinned, leaping back into the fray. The blonde had paused the battle.

"So –" He smirked. "You are not helpless." Wiping blood from my chin, I stood.

"Who are you?" I demanded, flexing my fingers. Jenova was gaining power – and I wasn't sure I wanted to deny her. Cloud was still connected to me, but I focused for a moment on the stranger.

He spat some blood out of his mouth, a terrible grin spreading over his features. Laughter erupted from his mouth, the totally cheesy, evil kind, which made my spine crawl. He was a worm. Though I hated killing, when it came to the blonde, I wasn't sure I could deny myself the pleasure.

Then looking at me, he whispered quietly. "My name – is Kefka. And I already know your name, Samantha darling."

He creeped the hell out of me.

"Shut up!" Hissing like a cat, I leapt at him, my nails twice their original size. His blade cut through my stomach, but I kept fighting.

"You can't – continue – forever, darling!" He laughed again, walking back. "Your body is riddled with bullet holes and cuts and you've bled too much. You – will – fall!" His blade cut my neck, a vital vein, and I felt total pain rush through me.

As he sauntered up, a small giggle escaped his lips. "You are brute strength – but you don't know anything darling. But don't worry – you'll know everything; soon enough.

_**Samantha?**_

I couldn't see Kadaj or Loz in the battle, and my vision was fading. So I leapt at my one chance.

_Cloud! Shinra – blonde – Kefka _

I fell over into darkness, Kefka approaching me with great laughter.

0-0-0

Kefka the insane clown.

He was a Final Fantasy character too – but he was in the wrong game. Kefka was the villain in an older game; how I knew that I couldn't tell. Perhaps Crystal or Jamie had mentioned him before. Actually it was more like Crystal, since Jamie wasn't likely to talk about someone so ugly.

So at least I had an idea about who it was that had kidnapped me. An insane freak who laughed like a caffeinated squirrel. But I couldn't hear or see, so I had no other information to go on – but I had a clue.

Kefka was the leak – he had to be. If Rufus was really on our side, he wouldn't have had his soldiers come to fight us. Rufus would've had us detained, so he could get us out later. So either the bastard had lied, or Kefka was playing by his own rules. I figured that he was the one messing everything up.

Though I was semi awake, I couldn't hear or see, only feel as I was picked up and moved. It wasn't that long, I don't think, but it felt like hours. Eventually I began to feel less pain – I was being healed for some reason. But then, I really fell asleep – and when I woke up, I was in hell.

It was another room straight out of a science movie – a lab, full of tech stuff, but really old. It looked like someone had just moved in after it had been left alone for decades. New stuff was mixed with old stuff, and I wasn't the only one there.

A strange, big red dog was chained up in the corner, wounded, and asleep. My heart went to him – on his side a number the number 13 was tattooed in Roman numerals.

Wherever I was, we'd either not gone for or gotten their fast, since the clock read about 9:12. Sephiroth's execution would begin in an hour or so. Unless it'd been moved up.

I tried reaching someone, anyone with my mind, but I felt like my head was locked up. It was then I realized I was tied to some sort of machine – which couldn't be a good thing. At the moment all that held me down were chains, but by the look of the tools, that could change. All sorts of hellish experimental science things were hanging nearby, sharp needles and tubes and things I didn't want near me. I was genuinely scared.

A door creaked somewhere, and I remained very still. If it was Kefka, I was going to kill him. It wasn't.

A tall woman, beautiful, with blonde waves of hair falling down her back, walked into the room. Her eyes looked dead, or blind, and she moved stiffly. A ripple of terror and sadness rushed through me, and I began crying.

I was staring into my mother's dead eyes.

_And games that never amount _

_  
To more than they're meant _

_  
Will play themselves out_

"Do you like her?" Kefka sauntered into the room, arms behind his back. "She's my favorite" He smirked. "Always loyal and so very beautiful." He came to a stop in front of her, lifting his hand to touch her cheek. Like a statue she remained still.

"D – Don't touch her!" I sobbed, reaching towards him and the thing.

"And why not?" Kefka turned to me with a smirk. "You act as if you know her." He started towards me. "You do – don't you?"

Unsure of what he was getting at, I stayed silent, glaring daggers at him.

He was so close to me – but I was too weak to do anything. I snarled at him.

"Quiet kitten" Kefka giggled again. "Or mommy will punish you."

My eyes grew wide and I leaned back away from him. Was she… was she really?

"Don't you recognize her?" He stepped back again so I could look at her. "Your own mother?"

"N – No!" I sobbed, shaking my head. "N – no! Please, n – no…"

All the while the statue that looked like my beloved mother stood there, doing nothing, eyes blank.

Kefka was taunting me, but I couldn't help it – my chest heaved with sobs, and stung with pain. He stepped up, right next to me.

"She is my treasure – as are you, darling." Lips curled back, he touched my ear. "Once I retrieve from your bosom the monster that lies there, all my dreams will – he, he – come true!" He broke into fits of laughter.

"J – Jenova?" I frowned and yelled. "What does she have to do with it!"

"_Do not raise your voice at me_!" The sharp sting of his hand came across my cheek, and I fell back. He was enraged, suddenly freaked out, until he broke into laughter again. Sprawled on the ground, I found myself looking at the red creature.

It was awake.

The dog's expressive eyes spoke to me – it could definitely think. It cared for me – and wanted to rip Kefka up as much as I did. But how could we get out of our situation?

The clock read 9:29. I had to get out of there – I had to find Sephiroth.

Suddenly a face was in front of me. "Oh sweet heart!" My mother's voice rang through my ears. "Are you all right? Come here, baby" She lifted her arms to me, her face full of emotion – her eyes dead.

"S – stay away – from me!" I screamed, backing up.

"Don't back talk your mother!" The thing frowned, its eyes haunting me. "I'll have to punish you!"

"_Stay away from me_!" I sobbed, curling up into a ball. "S – stay away…"

The thing came up beside me – the dog growled. Kefka, noticing it, walked up and kicked it hard. The poor thing cried out, but I couldn't really hear it.

"Didn't you miss me darling?" She whispered, pulling my hair around, tucking it behind me ear. "Don't you love me?"

Nodding I sobbed uncontrollably. "I – I love you, mama" I turned to her.

"Come here, baby" She opened her arms.

Jenova hissed and fought inside me, but the spell my "mother" had wrapped around me was too much. Helpless, I crawled towards her, looking for comfort, and love.

I got a hand impaled through my chest.

"You know what the saddest thing is?" Kefka smirked behind me, not even looking at me. My body shook, in total shock, and I was unable to speak as her hand dug deeper in my chest.

"She really is your mother. Truly" He giggled. "When I first saw her in Edge I knew what she was. And she walked right into my arms, when that fool Shinra brought her to me. I took her to my lab in the Golden Saucer – the one place no one would look. Of course, I had to bribe the fool owner to let me use it again, but it was well worth it."

My mother's hand finally pierced my flesh and went all the way through, and I screamed. The dog creature was violently fighting his chains, even as they electrocuted him, and he roared in rage.

"Eventually she escaped – and I caught her again. And every time she did I would punish her – perhaps hurt her old friends, threaten her family. She gave in – and I planted within her my most powerful device. She is totally under my control!" He interrupted his speech with a fit of laughter.

I began to feel the pain and loss of blood, as suddenly a strange feeling rushed through me.

"You see you and your mother have a power no one has. But you are the lesser model. I want your beautiful, unscathed mother. Oh, Maria… she is my masterpiece"

Weakly, I reached out to her, trembling. "M – mama…" she did not respond.

"Now, controlling Jenova will be easy. Do you know why?" He smirked. "Of course you don't. Only I do. Now, the most powerful being in the world will be under my control!"

Then I realized – Jenova was being siphoned out of me, pulled into my mother's body. I couldn't let that happen to her – I had to free her.

"M – mother!" Blood poured from my mouth and my chest, and I felt pain wrack me. Kefka kept laughing in the background as I succumbed, falling into my mother's arms.

"R – Rebecca…" I closed my eyes.

My mother's eyes gained a little color.

Suddenly a giant eruption came from the doorway, and the metal doors were thrown off their hinges. A white light raced through the area, knocking Kefka into a computer. My mother was thrown back, through a wall into another room, and a sudden warmth and light feeling raced through me.

"No – no! Sam!"

I fell into someone's arms, and felt the pain and the hurt fade away. Death was rather peaceful. I just closed my eyes, and everything was gone.

_Take this sinking boat and point it home _

_  
We've still got time _

_  
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice _

_  
You've made it now…_

**TO BE CONTINUED!!**

___song "Falling Slowly", Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova)_


	23. The End: Part Two

(the music that sets the scene here is Gary Jules "Mad World" Search it on youtube)

_There was a girl, sitting alone on a bridge. She was near the edge, sitting curled up looking down to the water. Behind her cars zoomed by, but she hardly noticed. As night fell around her, the small innocent wrapped her arms around her knees to keep warm._

_A man stepped up from the side, near the edge, towards this girl. He looked empathetic, perhaps understanding. She did not look up to him._

"_Are you ready to go?"_

_Now it is possible to see more behind the girl; an ambulance, police cars, a fire truck. All along the street were skid marks… leading over the side of the bridge, right between a few columns that had been broken._

_The man approaching the girl had a police badge on. _

_Whoever he was wasn't important to the girl. She didn't care. _

_Silently the girl stood, still looking over the edge down to the water._

"_What's going to happen… to my brother and me?" She whispered quietly._

_The police man faltered. "We'll take you to the station, and send someone to get your brother. We will contact any family you have."_

"_We don't have any." Turning to the man, she looked him over. There were no emotions in her eyes – absolutely nothing._

_Sighing the police walked up and put his hand on her shoulder. She stepped away. He didn't back off. _

"_Then you and your brother will be taken to foster care."_

"_An orphanage?" The girl muttered, showing emotion for the first time with the venom in her voice._

"_If it's necessary" _

_The girl bit her lip, pacing back and forth on the street. Slowly, she seemed to let loose, grimacing deeper and deeper, tears freeing themselves from her eyes. _

_She stopped. She stood, silent, slowly turning to look over her shoulder._

"_P – Please" _

_Surprised by the strong young woman's sudden weakness, the police approached her. She turned around to him, eyes wide and red._

"_Please don't take me to the orphanage!"_

0-0-0

- Just a bunch of nothing –

- little bits and tiny parts –

- floaty, floaty, floaty –

_- momma, where are you_ –

"Hello"

Suddenly eyes shot wide open, body flew up and stood straight, and I was awake, but not alive. I felt… not hollow, nor empty, but… peacefully lacking of "stuff". It was like my insides were as big as the universe, stretching beyond myself. All around me were clouds… but were they clouds…

Someone stood in front of me, draped in clouds.

"Am I dead?"

The person nodded, and for a moment I saw their face. It was a woman.

I wasn't sure how I felt about being dead. Hadn't I been ready for death a long time? I had told myself that. I mean, only a while back I'd been attacked by a mugger and just let it happen. Death didn't mean anything to me.

I was actually a little disappointed to find I still had a being.

"How do you feel?"

I laughed a little. Looking up and around, I looked for the right words to say. How did I feel? Did I feel upset from seeing the fate of my mother's body? Did I feel enraged that the freak Kefka had been using her and had just stolen Jenova to use for who knows what? Would I cry from having lost everything?

Somehow I felt happy. In my heart, it felt like I'd done the right thing in going to Gaia, even when I'd led to so much trouble. I just wondered… Sephiroth…

Part of me wanted him to live on. But the small, little demented part of my heart wanted him to die. Then, maybe we'd finally have peace. We could float through the cloud world forever. There'd be no Jenova, no persecution.

"Samantha?"

With that I looked up again. "You know my name"

The woman chuckled a little. "I know a lot about you."

It was my turn to laugh. "Seems like everybody does." Then my look turned to that of understanding. "You're Aerith aren't you?" I didn't let her respond, because I knew it was her. "Where's Zack?"

"He's gone."

Surprised, I walked up to her. But then I somehow felt intimidated; like it wasn't right for me to approach her. "Umm… where to?"

"Zack went to help you. He was there, at the Saucer."

That was strange; I'd thought he'd spent all his power. "Wait… he's the one… when Cloud attacked me, something stopped him."

"Yes" Aerith laughed again. "It seems like even death can't keep their destinies from intertwining."

I spun around and began walking back. "If he can return, so can I." I declared, stretching my arm. I didn't have a weapon. I didn't have Jenova anymore. The only thing I could trust in was myself, but that was fine.

"But I had thought you'd come to terms with death."

That made me slow to a halt. Hadn't I? Wasn't I giving up? I'd hardly noticed that I'd decided to go back.

For a moment I just focused on breathing. No thoughts; just breathing in and out. Aerith started walking towards me, and somehow I couldn't make myself face her.

"Samantha… you know that your mother was special, don't you?"

"Oh, dammit, Crap!"

Racing down the stairs, Samantha looked terribly frightened. "Mom? Are you okay?"

The woman huffed and dropped her arms. "Yeah, I just –" Running around like a chicken without a head, the woman had no jeans on. "My favorite pants, I can't find them!"

The fear and surprise drained from Sam's face, and she sighed with a small smile. "You idiot…"

I smiled a little. "Yeah…"

Behind me, I think Aerith smiled too. "Well, she's more than you know her to be. But I don't think… I'm the one to tell you."

I rolled my eyes. "If not you, who?"

A chuckle came from behind me.

"Her husband."

0-0-0

They were standing outside the precipice. I could see them from my hiding place down in the audience, as the large crowd awaited "Sephiroth's" arrival. In reality, the silver haired man who was about to approach was really Vincent. On either side of him were Reno and Rude, both of whom looked frightened.

They were worried about her, more than likely. Everyone was. That was why Kadaj and Loz had been sent ahead. I had wanted to go, but… Sephiroth didn't yet know the girl was in trouble. If he found out, I needed to be there. Sephiroth was in no state, mental or physical, to go after her.

I found it odd that I didn't feel anything for her. Everyone seemed to give me pitying looks when they found out what had happened. But somehow, my heart was numb.

In my dreams, when I thought of her, the meeting was always joyous and led to she, myself, and Zachary become a family. It was like every problem and pain in our lives would melt away at her arrival. I suppose I had thought she would be like her mother. But she hardly looked like her.

When I looked into her eyes, I felt fear. Part of me was afraid to look and see something other than what I wanted. I wanted… I hoped to see something of Maria in them. But I didn't look. Like always, I was fearful of disappointment.

The roar of the crowd took me from my thoughts, as I saw "Sephiroth" being brought out onto the precipice. Rufus was standing beside him, Reno and Rude holding his arms. For a moment, they stood silently. I tried to catch Vincent's eye, but he wouldn't look my way. I had a bad feeling.

"Something is wrong" Sephiroth's voice came from behind me. It was quiet, almost thoughtful. I turned to look at him, and then looked up at Vincent again.

As the crowd called for Sephiroth's death, Rufus looked them over and began to step towards the crowd. But before he could, I saw a blonde man in a scientist coat step in front of him onto the precipice. Rufus and his cronies seemed shocked by his appearance. He stood in front of the crowd, lifted his arms.

"Wonderful people of Gaia!" He began to enormous cheers. "See this man?"

"This man standing before you is the man responsible for the deaths of your friends and family." As he spoke, the crowd responded in stride. I felt my sword hand twitch. This man was up to something.

Sephiroth came up beside me. We both listened carefully.

"This … monster… is cause for all our world's pain and death!"

"So Shinra had nothing to do with it?" Sephiroth muttered. He didn't say anything about being a monster himself. A part of me wanted to say something. But what could I say?

"So… now, with all the world to see… we shall have our justice… here, on this stage!" The man began sauntering about the precipice, before stopping in front of Vincent, grabbing his hair and pulling his head up. Then, he drew a sword from his belt and lifted it over the crowd. "Off with his head!"

"No!" I bolted forward, but Sephiroth grabbed my arm. I glanced back at him.

He spoke aloud, his voice traveling mentally to Tifa. "What's the plan?"

They were supposed to electrocute him!

"I have a feeling this man has reason to make sure Sephiroth is dead" I muttered angrily. I would make this man pay if he hurt Vincent.

"New plan" Sephiroth stated. "Have Vincent leave now."

Then they'll keep looking for you.

"There will be a second chance."

I broke in angrily. "Get him out of there now!"

The man was raising his sword higher, basking in the roars of the crowd. Reno, Rude, and Rufus stood helpless, unable to do anything without raising suspicion.

Sephiroth! Tell him to leave, now!

Sephiroth closed his eyes for a moment. Behind his eyelids, I saw his eyes flicker. "He's-"

"What?" I wondered, glancing from Sephiroth to Vincent.

A horrible, surprised look came over Sephiroth's face as he opened his eyes. "He won't do it."

"What!?"

The man faltered; then with a grimace he explained.

"He won't leave. Vincent plans to die."

0-0-0

A husband; I'd almost forgotten. During her years as Maria, my mother had gotten married… and had a son…

"Her husband" I whispered, feeling my mouth go dry.

How in the world, after everything I'd been through, could I feel nervous about having a step father? It didn't matter.

"I don't have time to run around looking for someone. I need to know what's going on; and I need to help, now." Closing my eyes, I finally turned around and looked at Aerith.

She was pretty; shorter than me by a little, with the same pink dress from the movie. Her eyes were kind, understanding, but also troubled. I wondered why she hadn't gone with Zack to help. Was she worried?

The girl bit her lip and sigh, closing her eyes. I felt sorry for her; something was making her feel bad.

Aerith took hold of my hand. "Hurry, come with me"

She began pulling me through the clouds behind us, and she was stronger than she looked. We began running, running through the nothingness around us. For a moment, I saw the entire universe and when I blinked it flared out of life in sparkling color.

Almost like we had wings we soared and everything became a blur around us. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe – until all my feelings became soft, as if I was surrounded by warm light.

"I want to show you something"

Aerith was pulling me out of the warm light, into a different kind of light. It was – less surreal, more substantial. Air rushed back into my lungs, and I felt my heart beat again. For mere moments, I was alive.

I saw Aerith as she turned and smiled at me. "Here, come look" She said. Pulling my hand, she led me out of the clouds. We stood on firm ground, but I could tell we hadn't left the realm of… whatever it was. Death? But it was so… warm.

There were no clouds around us anymore; we were beneath a warm blue sky, standing in a grassy field. Birds chirped, the wind blew by, and in front of us was one lone path.

Without a word, Aerith let go of my hand, and walked towards the path. Then she turned to look at me. Silently, she was asking if I would come. It was only for a moment, for she ran off without getting my answer.

I thought for a moment; I looked back and thought of my friends and family in life. Then, I started running after her, thinking that maybe the path to hell had more than good intentions on it.

Maybe it had hope too.

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places

Worn out faces

Bright and early for the daily races

Going no where

Going no where

As we ran down the pathway, I saw something come into view. For a moment, I thought it was just an ordinary house. But when I came up to it, and stood beside Aerith, she smiled and pointed to a sign.

I was a little perplexed when I saw it. I didn't quite get the idea.

But I stood there for a moment, and it sunk in. I liked the idea. It made more sense.

"Will you show the others?" Aerith asked me. "It might help them understand."

I smiled. "Sure" I said. "I'll do whatever you ask. Just tell me… where do I start?"

She smiled and put her hand back on mine. "Right here" She said. "Start from right here."

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression

No expression

Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow

No tomorrow

No tomorrow

"I'm dead and done for." I whispered. "But maybe I can save the others."

Aerith smiled. "That's what I hope for."

I closed my eyes and stood silent then I nodded. "I'm ready"

"Then let's go"

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

0-0-0

Thousands of people were calling for my death.

They thought they were killing someone else, certainly, but in my heart I liked to think that I deserved their hate just as much. As the man above me pulled my hair taut and brandished a sword to kill me with, I felt about as much joy at my own death as he did.

I did wish I'd been able to free Lucrecia. And though I'd finally faced Sephiroth, part of me wished I could've… been his father for a moment. I wish I could've held him. But he would not permit this, and I would not ask. If only I'd been there from the beginning… regardless of whether Hojo or I gave him life, I would've been Sephiroth's father.

The three of us… we could've been happy. If I had helped her sooner… if I'd not failed her… and Sephiroth…

My last purpose in this world was to rid it of Shinra's corruption. My only duty is done. I can only think now of paying my debts.

The cold metal brushed against my neck. Leaning to my ear, the man sneered at me. "How does it feel?" He began. "Knowing you're about to leave the world when I'm about to rule it?"

What? Who was this man?

The blade went from being flat on my neck to having the sharp edge digging into my skin. It was truly my time… and I had thought it never to come.

"Vincent!"

That sent pain through me; the sound of Yuffie screaming my name. I had to ignore her. It was for the best.

"Good bye."

The blade cut my skin, and I closed my eyes, feeling death coming.

I find it hard to tell you

I find it hard to take

When people run in circles it's a very very

Mad world

Mad world

0-0-0

I was staring at my body.

Standing in the laboratory, I looked over everything. The doors were destroyed, a computer smashed, one wall torn apart from my mother's body flying through it. The dog was still changed up, lying on the floor, wiped out.

It was strange looking at my body. It was pale, really pale, and the chest was ripped up. Blood was everywhere. Leaning in the pool of blood was a being covered in white.

Slowly, I approached him. Then, I tried putting my hand on his shoulder. It worked. So, I fell to my knees beside him and leaned on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry" Zack whispered, his voice hoarse. "I'm so sorry"

"It's not your fault." I told him. "I wasn't strong enough"

Immediately the man turned and pulled me close, hugging me tight to him. Since there were no bodies in the way, I could feel all of him; the deepest part of his soul was right in front of me, and I felt the warmth coming from his heart. It had dimmed; it was horribly sad.

"Please, don't cry" I whispered. "Don't blame yourself for my mistake"

"Mistake?" He leaned back and looked at me. "You wanted your mother back. How can that be a mistake?"

I smiled a little. "I… guess I should've remembered that my mom is dead. I'd call that a mistake."

Zack sighed and pulled me closer. Then, he leaned back. "Look" He smiled. "Your hair's not silver"

That was a surprise. I pulled a piece into my view; it was dirty blonde again.

With a sigh, I took his hand. "Come on, we have to go." We both stood. I glanced around.

"Where'd Kefka go?" I spat, looking for him.

"He ran off when I was trying to help you." Zack whispered. "Sorry"

"It's fine." I frowned a little.

My eyes fell on the poor creature who'd fought to help me. Leaning next to him, I placed a hand on his chest. "He's still breathing…"

"Can we help him?" Zack walked up to us. Leaning down, he began messing with the chains. Frowning, he found them locked tight. So, he lifted his hand, and emitted light from his skin. The lock clicked and came undone. I watched him do the same to the other locks, before he gently placed the creature on his back.

"Let's go. We need to find Kefka, quick, before he screws anything else up." I agreed and followed after Zack. But then I faltered.

"Wait" The man turned towards me as I ran to the hole in the wall.

Quietly I peered through, and saw the next room over. It was another lab, another total mess; blood was smeared on the floor, but my mother wasn't there. "Keep going" I called back. "There's something I have to do."

"No time" Zack responded. "We'll have to come back." For a moment, I thought it over.

I nodded then Zack, the dog, and I left the lab, my body and my mother behind.

Children waiting for the day they feel good

Happy birthday

Happy birthday

Made to feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen

Sit and listen

0-0-0

"VINCENT!"

Someone screamed, and suddenly the blade left my neck, and I flew backwards onto the cement. Something warm was on me, and suddenly I felt myself lifted up.

"I knew you were lithe, but this is ridiculous." The voice laughed; I recognized it.

0-0-0

Before I could blink, Sephiroth was on the precipice, knocking the blonde with sword aside. The sword fell from his hand and fell into the crowd, and would've hurt someone if Yuffie hadn't leapt at it. Good going, Yuffie I thought with a smile. From the side I saw Cloud run over.

"Tifa!" He called me, and I raced to him.

We both looked up. The real Sephiroth had a black cloak over his head, standing on the precipice, and in his arms was our fake, Vincent. Blood was trickling down his neck. I was going to kill him! Rrr… I was so mad!

"Hey!" Yuffie called from the stadium. She had the Masamune in her hand.

With that, Sephiroth leapt from the precipise, his black wing unfolding, and he flew over the ninja, snatching his blade from her. The two disappeared into the sky.

"What now?" I wondered aloud.

"We find Sam." Cloud told me. I looked to him. Something looked weird…

"Hey" I said. "Where'd Sephiroth get that black cloth?" Suddenly Cloud looked flustered. For a moment, I stood confused. Then we both looked down.

The big black cloak Cloud usually had billowing around his waist was missing.

"Don't tell anyone."

Suddenly I felt very devious.

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

0-0-0

**I begin the rest right now!**

**Writing away,**

**SULHADAHNE**


	24. Second Chance

The Orphanage

Chapter Twenty Four

The Final Story

_They didn't take us to the Orphanage after mother died; my father finally got off his fat ass and picked us up at the police station._

_He died three years later. His death didn't hit me so hard. Dad had been dying for years._

_Over time, I became like a ghost, an apparition no one sees. No one wanted to know me anymore. My teachers didn't expect anything of me. My brother stopped reaching out to me. _

_I went into the military, lasted a few years; eventually I was honorably discharged. Was it because of my mental state? Was I physically too weak? Maybe… _

_I stayed in the house, trying not to live. _

_I thought about the orphanage a lot, thinking of what it might've been like._

_Sitting there, waiting every day for someone to love me, for somebody to tell me I was worthy. Watching others get picked, waiting for someone to love me for me. Being so lonely… wanting a father, a mother… a family. How long would I have to wait for a family? Would I ever be picked?_

_I didn't want to go to the Orphanage, because I thought it would be hell, waiting forever for love._

_  
Maybe I wasn't looking at it the right way._

0-0-0

I felt them, out there. Fleeing, flying away from the Saucer, my most precious ones in their care… closing my eyes, I let my conscious wonder. As a soul I find I can communicate with most of the world with ease. I feel it, outside of me, as my mind stretches across the mountains and seas. Zack is ahead of me, scanning for Kefka, while I fly behind, reaching out to my allies and friends.

We had left the dog creature behind, because he could not travel our way. We took him to the nearest city we could, and handed him over to the doctors. I prayed that he would be all right.

Waves of emotion flow from the _Shera_, from confusion, to anger, to frustration and grief. Had someone been hurt badly in the battle? … No. But the aftermath, the effects, might last forever. As my mind searched, I found that two things weighed heavily on my friends minds. My disappearance; and Vincent's attempted suicide.

Even as my true soul, what was left of me, followed Zack, I closed my eyes and let my third eye flow outward. It flew forward in a flash of blues, reds, and yellows, pushing faster and faster beyond the trees and above the clouds, into the_ Shera_ until I found who I was looking for.

"What were you thinking!?"

That was Tifa, yelling as she paced around the room. She was furious, red faced, perhaps the most enraged of the group. Vincent sat on the bed across from her, quite unaffected, head down. Cloud was leaning against the far wall, looking somewhat distracted, and also concerned. I was touched that he was worrying about Vincent and me. Cid was in the room, and Yuffie, both of whom were standing akimbo nearest Vincent, frowning deeply. It did not suit them to frown.

Ceasing to pace for a moment, Tifa turned madly to him and crossed her arms. "Were you even thinking? What the hell, Vincent!?"

"You could've been killed!" Yuffie shouted suddenly, on the verge of tears.

"I'm beginning to think that was the damn point." Cid added pointedly, turning away from his friend. His attitude was bordering on ashamed.

Still Vincent said nothing in his defense. Even I was beginning to be a little frustrated. _Why, Vincent? Why turn on those you love and do something like that?_

Cloud stepped forward towards his friend, and kneeled next to him. Placing his hand on the stoic man's shoulder, Cloud looked him in the eyes. "Why, Vincent?" He whispered. For a moment Vincent didn't look at him. The man glanced over, and then turned his head finally.

"Do you realize what has been put into motion?" Vincent muttered somberly. His eyes wandered over his friends. They seemed confused by the strange response. So was I. "The reappearance of the sons of Jenova, of Maria's daughter as one of them… it is the continuance of what started two years ago." The man stood, and Cloud stood with him, backing up to give his friend room. I focused more of my attention on Vincent, trusting Zack to keep me on course.

"Jenova is going to die… soon." Vincent revealed, his voice gaining strength. This didn't seem to surprise his friends, but it sure made me smile. "The Cetra's work will be complete. And once I'm gone… everyone who had a hand in bringing her back will be history."

"Oh, Vincent!" Yuffie stammered, ready to bury her head in Cid's shirt. The blonde turned and placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"That's not right, and you know it, Vincent." Tifa told him, calmer now, but still red faced and teary eyed. "Y – you did your best, and you fought them at every turn."

"Did I?" Vincent murmured, looking away. "Maybe. But I am still of an old time, part of a terrible crime, and I have no place in this world. I'm an old man in a young body, trapped for all time. I am looking for a way to die."

"Damn you!" Yuffie screamed suddenly, running past Cid and into Vincent's chest. She pounded her fists against him, screaming as he wrapped his long arms around her small shoulders. "Damn, damn you, damn you!"

"Yuffie…" Tifa murmured, before looking angrily at Vincent again. "This is what your selfish misery brings. We're your family Vincent; we don't want you to die!"

"Maybe we're the selfish ones." Cloud wondered. Tifa glowered at him, and Yuffie looked up with a sob. I knew what Cloud meant, and it was a good point, but I totally disagreed. No matter the circumstances… it is a selfish and evil thing to do something like what Vincent tried to do.

"Kid…" Cid began, stepping forward with his hands in his pockets. "You know what? You wanna die, do it, have a fuckin' party, but don't you dare involve us. What you just pulled… forcing the girls and… and us, fuck it, to watch that bastard chop your head off! Why don't you just stab us in the heart, huh!?"

Vincent turned away, and Yuffie backed off. Pouting, her fists clench, she turned away, turned back, and then finally just ran out of the room with one last sob. Tifa turned to her when she ran, but did not follow. Silence reined.

Sighing so heavily it was almost a sob, Tifa stomped out of the room, and Cid followed shaking his head. Cloud remained. The dark haired man looked out the window, his red eyes showing more emotion than I'd seen in his eyes ever. He'd been hiding how distraught he was by his friend's feelings. Still, his face hardly twitched, and he didn't cry.

"Vincent, I know how you must feel. And if I could help you, I would." Cloud looked up at him. "But even though you're this undead person, at least you're still with many of your loved ones. You still have a life to live." Cloud turned and moved towards the door. "For the sake of those that love you, live it." With that, he left.

Only when the others were gone did Vincent let his agony take him, and he fell on the floor in a heap. I felt his pain, his sorrow, his deep loneliness take him and I almost cried. My soul flew towards Zack, and took hold of his hand.

"What is it?" Zack looked at me.

"Make sure you don't lose me." I told him. "I have to do something."

Then my mind left my third eye and flew towards Vincent, entering his mind with ease. He was in such pain, he hardly noticed. Shadows surrounded me, and red and yellow eyes stared out from the darkness. But I felt no fear. There was a demon in me more dangerous than all six of Vincent's combined. I was in no danger. Deeper I flew, towards Vincent's mind, where I would be in for a shock…

There was a dark platform in the center of his consciousness, where Vincent was curled up, crying. He was not wearing a dark red cloak, nor did he have red eyes. Well he did, but that was from crying. Actually, he wore a suit, and his hair was shorter. He was … a man.

As I grew nearer, floating down to the platform, Vincent finally noticed me. Quickly he glanced up. The man stood.

"Why are you here?"

I came to stand on the platform, as Vincent stood to meet me. He was back to his stoic self, and his tears had dried. Immediately, I raced to him, eyes wide, and clutched him to me like he might float away on the wind. There was none in his mind by the way.

For a moment I said nothing as I hugged him. He seemed very surprised at first, nervous to hug me back but he did. Eventually he asked the question I knew he would.

"How are you here?" Vincent wondered, looking down at me.

I shook my head. "Another time, another place." As I whispered I stepped back and took his hands in mine. I looked back up at him. "Right now, you have to tell me about all this. This drama that's going on."

Vincent turned from me, and slowly I reached up and turned his chin so he'd face me again. "Please Vincent… I'm afraid if you don't open up now your friends may lose you forever. Just talk to me… what's the real reason for all this?"

"I…" Vincent murmured, almost unable to speak. I moved my palm to his shoulder, reassuring him. Finally he gave him. "He is my son." Vincent whispered.

Though I was confused I said nothing and waited for Vincent to speak on his own.

"I don't know if I sired him. Maybe I did. But whether he was mine or not, if Lucrecia had lived… we would have raised him together. Sephiroth… he would've been my child. My little boy."

Suddenly I felt the feeling leave my legs and I stumbled against Vincent. Luckily he caught me, even as my head was reeling. Back with Zack, my soul began to waver, until he grabbed hold of me and refused to let go. I insisted I was fine and then returned to Vincent, ready to listen.

"Your son?" I murmured. But I did not ask my burning questions. "Go on."

"He was used as part of an experiment, which I tried to stop. I was killed… eventually; my wife brought me back to life. She was imprisoned, my son taken from me, and thinking all I loved was gone I locked myself up forever. So I thought."

"When Cloud awakened me I decided to help them stop Shinra and put Sephiroth to rest once and for all. Then, I would return to my slumber. But… they made me promise…"

"Who?"

"Your mother… and Aerith. The two of them were very close. Maria started it, and Aerith followed… they wanted me to swear not to return to slumber… they wanted me to live." I smirked, knowing that was exactly what my mother would have done. A small tear fell down my cheek.

"And I kept my promise. But my resolve was shaken."

I nodded understanding what the others had not seen. They could not have seen it. "Sephiroth…"

"He has felt such pain because of me. Because of Hojo and Jenova he doesn't even know I'm his true father."

"And if you're not?" I asked.

"I am." Vincent murmured. He reached out suddenly to hold me, drawing me in. "I have to be. There's no one else."

"I know." I agreed. Then I laughed. "Besides, you're the only one I'd want for a father in law." After a moment, Vincent actually laughed quietly.

Then, he was silent again as we held each other. As it began to sink in, I found I did see Vincent in a fatherly light. I liked being held by him, feeling protected. I leaned in closer. He seemed to understand, setting his head on top of mine.

"Seeing Sephiroth… I realized that he and I would be immortal, and all the others would fade with the passing of time. And yet, I would still be alone, for he does not even know he is my son. I realized that I could never have that relationship. Any chance for it is gone."

"I'm sure Cloud and the others would've understood if you'd told them." I looked up at him. "They're parents too."

_Samantha, we're getting close. Tell Vincent that Kefka's settled over the Northern Crater! _Zack talked to me suddenly.

_Oh wow_, I responded mentally. _How original._

_At least no innocents will get involved! Just hurry up and get out here!_

Ignoring the man, I kept talking to Vincent. "Feeling like you'd failed your only child… feeling like you'd never know them… that would be eternal torture. Enough to make me want to die."

_Sam, you coming?_

I smiled and took hold of Vincent's gloved hand. "But I promise you, Sephiroth is not lost to you. Not yet. You will know your son I know it."

_Sa~am…_

"Don't worry, just go, and beg your friend's forgiveness, okay? Try and explain it to them!"

_Sam!_

"I'm coming!" I shouted behind me, and I'm sure I confused Vincent. With one last quick hug I backed away and turned to go. "Just be strong!" I glanced back as if to look at Zack. "Tell Cloud that Kefka is in the Northern Crater, okay!"

"Only a while ago…" Vincent said to me as I began leaving his mind. "I was telling you to be strong."

Then I was gone, back into my "soul", flying with Zack, and when I opened my eyes not only were they buffeted with wind, but also blinded by the sunlight reflecting off the snow.

"We're here." Zack whispered. I nodded, letting go of his hand.

"Maybe we can end this without involving the others." I thought aloud.

"Maybe. We'd better hurry then." Zack began flying downward, propelling forward, and I followed. Eventually I had to close my eyes, but I never hit anything. That's the bonus of being dead; you have no physical effect on most things, unless you want to. Finally we slowed down, and I looked up again. Kefka was standing on the same precipice Sephiroth had stood on perhaps a day or two before. My heart fluttered at the thought of him. Funnily enough, you do have a heartbeat when you're dead. It's very strange… only the dead could understand, more than likely.

"What's this guy want?" I wondered as I began floating down feet first. Zack touched the ground before me, even as the winds burst against us again. I was beginning to wonder why I could fly through trees but still get knocked over by the air. Being dead was confusing.

My eyes widened as I looked towards Kefka, and I turned away. My mother was up there, unconscious, sprawled across the snow. Placing a hand on my shoulder, Zack nodded towards Kefka. He wanted me to look again.

I did; and I saw this time what was beneath my mother. There was some sort of magic circle surrounding her body, and Kefka was preparing to activate it. There was a horrible, evil grin stuck on his face. Growling, I was about to run forward and attack him, but Zack held me back.

"He doesn't know we're here; let's take advantage of that." Good idea, Zack, but I'm not thinking logically. At that moment I was so mad at him for everything, all the pain I'd ever felt in my life that I just wanted to kill him! Could the dead kill the living?

Suddenly, something moved ever so slightly in the snow. It surprised me. I glanced down, and saw, to my utter horror, that my mother's face was moving. Slowly, she turned to look at me. Her eyes were just as they had use to be; warm, deep brown, understanding. Now they were in pain. A single tear rolled down her cheek and her finger twitched. She was trying to reach me… trying to…

My knees were shaking, and I feel down into the snow helplessly. She was still alive. _She was still alive!_ The bastard had my mother's body and her soul was still trapped inside! Stuck as Kefka's pet, stuck with Jenova inside her! GODDAMN HIM, I would KILL him!

But I couldn't move. Perhaps I had been broken finally. Perhaps seeing my mother, whose dead body I had seen that day on the bridge, seeing her alive might've driver me insane. She was dead. She was dead! And Final Fantasy VII was just a game!

"Sam, come on!" Zack urged me to stand, to fight, and to be strong! Once I had been strong. I had been much younger, living with my mother, father, and brother, hoping to join the military one day and serve my country. I had been strong, dedicated. What happened? How can one death ruin your life so badly? How can love rule you so much?_ My mother is gone_. She has been gone for years. How come I haven't recovered yet?

Zack was trying to pull me up as the magic circle was being invoked. Eventually, he had to give up and run at Kefka on his own, no weapon, and no idea of what to do. I was thinking, what happened? I had been strong, happy, with friends. One car ride home, one long night on the bridge, and I lost everything. What makes one person survive while the other dies? What makes an alcoholic decide to drive across town on a rainy night? Why does he swerve and hit the left side of the car, not the right? Why not me?

WHY NOT ME!?

That was it, wasn't it? I think I stood up at this point, tears streaming my cheeks. Why not me? That's all it ever was. Why was I alive, and she wasn't? It was only a blink of an eye. Barely a millisecond in the history of the universe. Just one life, one little candle, and somebody had leaned off and snuffed it out.

I was running, screaming, racing past Zack towards the man who had tortured my mother. How dare he… how dare he! I swung my fist at him but in my rage I had not form a corporal body. Kefka felt nothing. So, lost in my fury, I did the one thing a soul could; I attacked his mind.

It took only a second of searing, burning fire, of screams ringing in my ears, of electrical synapses dying out in flashes of bright colors no scientist could've comprehended, and Kefka fell to the ground alive yet brain dead. His magic circle was blazing to life, and as Kefka fell I was caught in it. He, dead, was destroyed instantly, no trace left. I too was dead, but when my soul was flung from his decaying brain it found refuge in the one place possible… Rebecca Wiley's body.

…

…

_Mom?_

…

_I was sore, tired, and in pain. My cheeks were wet from crying but I couldn't remember why. Why was I crying? Had I lost someone, or something? Sitting up, I looked around. I didn't recognize where I was. I didn't… who was I? I couldn't remember if I had a name. Someone walked into the room, and I grew very nervous. _

_It was a dark haired woman, who smiled brightly at me. I felt a little safer. She seemed kind._

_"Don't worry. I'm a friend." She told me._

_I felt… safe._

_Time passed and I still couldn't remember anything. I had only one clue to who I was – a necklace. It was a small locket, which looked like it had a latch to open, but it was melted shut. It helped me very little._

_But I grew to enjoy my time with Tifa and the other Avalanche members. Nothing bothered me, until I met someone in the street one day. She was a young woman, with brown hair and a pink dress, selling flowers in the street. _

_Something about her stuck out, and I approached her. I even bought a few flowers, sharing meaningless conversation. After I left, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Something was off now, I felt. I had forgotten something important._

_I felt the same feeling around the children who stayed at the bar. Whenever I saw them, whenever Barret hugged Marlene, or when the other children came to play… I felt horrible. Guilty. I didn't understand why…_

_And then I met the young man, Cloud Strife. He was quite the cutie! Oh, but don't think that way, Maria, you're at least ten years older than him, probably more. And he brought with him, the girl…_

_I learned her name was Aeris._

_Oh, right… my friends named me Maria. It was Marlene's idea. _

_Cloud and Aeris and I went on a few adventures together, trying to find Tifa. And then, the big adventure began._

_I didn't quite understand the fighting, or what we were fighting for, until Tifa told me. It was horrible… Shinra… I felt even more pain when I learned of Aeris' connection to it all. _

_And then it finally made sense. _

_"Aeris?" One day during rest the two of us were walking around a field, just talking, when I told her about my feeling. "You make me feel… protective. Nervous…"_

_The girl looked up at me. Red faced, I finally explained._

_"When I'm around you, I feel like… a mother. You remind me… oh this is going to sound ludicrous. You remind me of someone I don't remember. A daughter I think I had. Once…"_

_She smiled, nodded in her wise way. "I'm honored. I would love to be your daughter. I have so many mothers now it's hard to keep count!" Yes, everyone looked out for Aeris. Something in the way she looked at life, the way she smiled… who could not care for her?_

_As time passed, and I learned more, and our adventures grew darker, I tried comforting the others as best I could. I found I was acting more like a mother everyday. Had I had children before? A young boy, a little girl? Maybe… _

_Cloud didn't mind it, though he often acted like he did. For being so secluded and quiet, he truly attracted people to him. There was something in his eyes similar to Aeris'. Something about the way they are. There souls are very special._

_One night, when Aeris was especially worried, I gave her the locket. It meant nothing to me, and I didn't feel pain to lose it. It was beautiful hanging around her neck. I called her daughter, and she smiled. So did I._

_And then… the dark times. The time when we lost her… and Cloud, and Tifa… when meteor was hanging over our heads and we were all desperate. Aeris… oh Aeris!_

_We put her to rest in the home of her ancestors, letting her body fall peacefully down to the bottom of a pool. Just as we were to go, I remembered. Sobbing, I swam down into the pool, hearing my friend's cries behind me. I had to get it… because it now meant something. It was hers… she had worn it everyday from the day I gave it to her. It was the only thing connecting her and me anymore. Desperately I swam down, trying to reach her. The chain was in her hand; she must've been praying with the locket clasped between them. _

_I grasped the locket and pulled and pulled, trying to free it, even as someone grabbed me from behind to pull me to the surface. Finally it came off, and I willingly was dragged upward. Cloud pulled me onto the sand, both of us gasping for breath, and with his blue eyes red with crying, he looked at me with such pain, such agony._

_"I won't lose you, too." He whispered. He pulled me to him, as we both caught our breath. "I won't lose you too…"_

_Finally we stood, Vincent helping me, Tifa supporting Cloud, and I cradled the locket in my hand. To my surprise, it fell open. Somehow it had gotten free. There was a little picture inside, folded up to fit within. It was damp, but not ruined. Everyone stood around me patiently, watching, hoping some clue would appear on the folded paper. I pulled it out, and unfolded it._

_I was in the picture… and many others. There was a little boy, two little girls hugging and grinning, and a man holding me tight to him. I was kneeling, with one arm wrapped around the smallest girl, and the boy._

_Were they… my children?_

_They had to be._

_Had to be…_

…

…

_Sam? … Samantha?_

A form was coming to me in the dark… walking towards me nervously. As she came into view, I recognized her… she looked like me. High cheekbones, warm brown eyes, dirty blonde hair to her shoulders and tan skin. She was beautiful. The look on her face was of pain, confusion. I wanted to run to her… and away from her.

I was afraid. In the time I had lost my mother, I had changed so much. Was I even worthy of her touch anymore? I was a dirty, vile thing. Tears ran down my cheeks and I almost ran, but she caught me first, crying herself.

"Oh, SAMANTHA!" She shouted, pulling me into a tight, desperate hug. I couldn't help but sob and hug her back. We fell to the floor, my mother and I, sobbing and hugging and releasing all the pain our separation had filled us with.

"M – Mom… oh god mom!"

"I missed you…" Mom whispered to me, kissing me all over.

"I know." I told her. I buried my head in her shoulder. "I missed you too."

She smiled, and laughed a little. It sounded more like a sob but I could tell the difference. "You're all grown up."

Red faced and sobbing I laughed a little. "Oh, no mom, I haven't changed at all. Not a bit since you left me." I told her. "It's like I've been frozen in time." I was almost ashamed to admit this, but once I started I couldn't stop. "It's like I died too, but I'm a ghost that floats around the world, not realizing it's dead…"

"Oh, baby!" Mom couldn't hear anymore, so I didn't speak. She wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Honey, why…?"

"I just… I couldn't… just like that you were gone. No goodbyes, no final words. No I love you. I woke up, stuck in the car, surrounded by fire and encased in metal, bleeding… and I turned… the door had caved in and cut right into you… you bled to death. Couldn't even speak… I just watched… just watched…"

"Oh, _god_, honey!" She hugged me to her chest again, our crying renewed.

For a moment we cried. But slowly, my sobs ended. My heart was clenching in fear. Something… something was coming…

"You feel it?" I asked, leaning away.

Mom looked up, alarmed. "She's here."

Immediately I stood and glanced around. "Mom, get away now, she's powerful, and I don't want you hurt!"

A hand came on my shoulder, and my mother was standing beside me. I noticed now slight differences between this woman and the mother I had known. This one was more muscular, a few scars dotted her body, and of course she was dressed differently. She wore a blue tank top, a skirt halfway down her legs, and white boots to her knees. Mom reached down and removed a knife from her belt.

"You forgot who was here when Jenova was stopped the first time." Mom winked at me. "Your mother's learned some moves!"

Blinking stupidly, I realized suddenly something I never had before.

My mother was a video game hero. She, along with Cloud, and Tifa, and Vincent, and all the others, had defeated Sephiroth, Shinra, Hojo, and Jenova. Dear god… my mom was badass!

Before I could comment, the monster arrived. Mental barriers surrounded us, pushed at us, trying to force us to submit to her. I fought back easily, having learned to fight her off. My mother hardly flinched. A small grin came to me. _My mother was badass_!

The good feeling went down a little as I felt Jenova stepping forward. She had taken a human form, that of a woman with blue skin and hair. Her eyes were totally white, and alarming. I flinched, but stood my ground.

Every step she took towards us was a mental earthquake, shaking our power, our souls, and my resolve. Mom didn't back down. She stepped towards Jenova, knife in hand.

"Come back from the dead, huh?" Mom muttered. She stood in a fighting stance, knife in her right hand, held like a thief would hold it. "Why don't you learn to stay down?"

Jenova did not speak, but mental waves rushed towards us, waves the size of mental tsunamis. I fell to my knees, cringing as I received the message; surrender your body or be destroyed. Once again Mom had stood her ground. I was seeing a new side of a woman I had long thought dead.

Mom turned to me. "Samantha!" She called out. "Go outside! Control my body, use it to fight Jenova!"

I was confused. "But… isn't that..."

"Her mental form, yes!" Mom told me, and surprisingly Jenova let her speak. "Her body is freeing itself by use of Kefka's spell. She will need my body to finally be free, but she is still causing major havoc!" She told me, concern flowing from her. "Our friends are in trouble!"

"I understand!" Though I didn't really. What was going on? Why was Jenova being freed, and for what purpose? Before I turned to leave, I looked her over again, meaningfully. My eyes rested on her. She smiled serenely, understanding.

"Don't make me lose you again" I whispered.

"I wouldn't leave you for the world." She told me. Finally she turned to her opponent. "Go!"

Trying not to worry, I expanded myself, filled my mother's body, attached, and took control…

0-0-0

_Lovers, keep on the road you're on_

_  
Runners, until the race is run_

_  
Soldiers, you've got to soldier on_

_  
Sometimes even right is wrong_

Lovers in Japan / Reign of Love, Coldplay

My mother's body was very similar to mine and it did not feel strange controlling it. Now, being magically tied down to the ground, with tentacles surrounding me for hundreds of feet upward? That's weird. No tentacle rape here please.

Screaming, I pulled at the bonds, trying to free my mother's body before it could be the sacrifice for this nasty ceremony. More of Jenova's body was freeing itself from the circle, tentacles, strange shapes, I really didn't want to know…, but I noticed that soon after it became free, many of the tentacles were being cut down. It was good to know I wasn't alone.

In agony, I continued pulling and struggling, but the bonds were much too tight. Nothing I did worked. Then, I heard a scream near me.

"Maria!"

Someone was calling for my mom, and they were luckily coming through the tentacles, and fast. Whoever it was they were determined, hacking like mad at the monster. I watched, amazed, as Cloud came running for me, ripping apart all in his way. Boy was I glad to see him.

"Cloud!" I shouted, trying to sit up. I couldn't. Eager to be free I awaited Cloud to destroy my bonds. That was not the first thing he did. At first I couldn't quite register what he had done. It took approximately five seconds for me to realize Cloud was kissing me, kissing me with all the passion and love he had. Dear god, Crystal was going to kill me later!

After he leaned away, looking at me as if he were madly in love and horribly concerned, I was so confused I almost asked him what the hell he'd been doing. Then, I realized… I wasn't in my body.

Cloud had just kissed my mom.

What was going on? What in the world was going on!? Yes, okay, the ultimate battle for the fate of Gaia was once again happening and Jenova was about to kill us all, but I just wanted to know why Cloud was kissing my mom like they'd been high school sweethearts or something. I didn't have time to ask, nor did I have the guts. Cloud immediately stood and tried pulling at the bonds, trying to free me to no avail.

"Damn it…" I muttered, still struggling. Finally I gave up and looked at Cloud. "How do we stop her… this time?" I tried acting like my mom to keep Cloud from EVER knowing what we'd shared.

Kneeling next to me, Cloud looked up. "I was hoping you'd tell me." He looked down and saw my confused expression. "Do you remember?"

"Remember… what?" I asked. Suddenly a tentacle raced down towards Cloud, but before I could even shout anything, he'd spun around and sliced it in half, then in half again.

"Last time, Aeris told you a secret to beating her. Do you remember it?" Cloud shouted over the din of roaring monster. Jenova's mouth had appeared, I suppose.

"No idea… I'm a little flustered right now."

"Well remember soon because you're our only hope!" Cloud told me, spinning back around. Once again he fought with the bonds.

"Let me."

The voice was godly, heavenly even. It floated down on us as its owner rushed towards us from above. Cloud dodged just as Sephiroth came down and stabbed his long ass sword right through one of the bonds, just barely missing my skin. My eyes were wide as saucers. As Sephiroth continued to free my from my other bonds, I berated him.

"You bastard! You could've killed me!" I shouted.

"I didn't. Now calm down." He commanded. Once he had freed me, we both stood, and before he could speak again, I attacked his lips with my own.

They were full, slightly cold, and sent shivers through me just by touching them. But as soon as my lips had his, he responded, shoving his tongue between my lips. It trailed over the roof of my mouth, making me moan. Coming to our senses, we quickly ended it, and I buried my face in his chest.

"Oh, god, I missed you…" I whispered.

"If that's how you react each time we're separated, I should leave more often." I tapped him lightly for his comment.

Of course, at this moment I stood straight again and got a look at Cloud's face. He looked… well, shocked, and almost ready to fall over dead. If I'd had a camera I would've taken a picture. He looked so heartbroken too! I felt so bad! Before I could say a word Sephiroth explained.

"Maria's inside this body, but not using it; Sam is controlling it." He explained. Relief came over the man suddenly, followed by stunned revulsion. That would be Cloud realizing he'd kissed me, not my Mom. Why he was kissing my mom in the first place was what I wanted to know.

"And how did you know it was me?" I asked him.

Sephiroth smiled down at me. "I always know." A warm feeling filled me, until tentacles began flying again.

"Watch out!"

Suddenly, something flew right above us, attacking the black form with a machine gun. It was a Shinra helicopter, and cheering like mad was Reno, shooting madly at the enemy. I shook my head.

"Crazy loons…" Sephiroth took me by the hand, and we flew into the air, just as Cloud came to his senses and began attacking again. Clutched to his chest, Sephiroth rested his head on mine.

"I've realized… you were right." He muttered. "I can never make up for what I've done, dead or alive. But I would rather try to live… the right way this time."

I almost cried again, but I fought it. I was tired of crying. "Thank you" I whispered.

He looked puzzled. "For what?"

Looking up as we came over top of the tentacles and began flying sideways, I smiled. "For not abandoning me. My survival depends on you now." I frowned a little. "I suppose that's what led to this. I love people too deeply, and too much."

Sephiroth smiled as we landed. "That's why… I love you." To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I put my hand on his forehead.

"Are you sick?"

Rolling his eyes, Sephiroth took hold of my wrist and lowered my arm. "When we first met, long ago, and I came to care for you, it was not for your hatred of the world, your painful loneliness. You didn't realize it, but even then you had an enormous capacity for love. You never killed yourself, because you knew your loved ones would suffer. And because, you loved life. Even as you were, you were in love with everything."

"It's amazing, watching you fill yourself to the brink with everything. Taking it in so deeply. It's why you can write, and describe things so well." Sephiroth let me go, and drew Masamune again.

I grinned broadly, looking up at him. "Let's finish this." I told him. "I'm tired of fighting."

He nodded. "So am I." As I ran forward, ready to fight, I heard him repeat it. "So am I."

As I ran forward, using my mother's amazing skill, I remembered she had a knife tucked in her belt. I removed it, speeding up. From my left came another runner; Yuffie. She grinned and saluted me.

"Nice to see you!" As we came close, she did a flip and hit one tentacle, turning to flip towards another. She leapt around the mess of monstrous form attacking one after another with her enormous ninja star. I wanted one of those.

I wasn't sure what I could do with my small knife, but I was ready to try it out. Of course I wasn't thinking, hey I'm in a video game where items do really cool stuff, I was still thinking about the real world. So when the knife turned blue and electrocuted to tentacle I stabbed it into, I screamed. Jenova gave out a loud moan, and the tentacle struggled, tossing me across the snow. Hitting my head pretty hard sent me into unconsciousness for a moment…

For that moment, I saw mom and Jenova fighting to the death, as mental waves flew back and forth across the battlefield. Mom was doing rather well; her attacks were all purple, and Jenova's were blue. Blue fire flew towards Mom, who did a rolling dodge and then tossed a kick at the woman. A purple wave flew from her attack towards Jenova, who felt it as if she had been kicked in the face. It was a strange way to battle, but the only way to fight in the mind.

Sensing me, Mom turned and told me to hurry, so I woke up and stood. Brandishing the knife, which was now covered in black blood, I raced towards Jenova's new body.

The spell was still working, and was still connected to Mom's body. I felt it draining me, trying to drag me in. If we didn't hurry, the spell would probably destroy this body. That was not going to happen.

With a roar I leapt and tore at the tentacle nearest me, wondering hopelessly how we would get rid of it finally. Cloud had said that my mother knew how to defeat Jenova…

_Mom! _I called out mentally, ripping the knife down the side of the tentacle as its guts spilled out and blue lightning burned it. The monstrous thing tumbled down, only to be replaced by two more. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tifa use a Fira spell to take out a few at once, until she was swarmed by the replacements. Vincent flew by, Chaos' wings carrying him, taking Tifa out of harms way. There had to be an easier way to do this.

_Mom, you hear me?_

_**What is it sweetheart?**_ She finally responded.

_Is there a way to defeat Jenova once and for all? There's gotta be some secret!_

For a moment there was silence, as I raced forward, hacking and cutting like crazy. Lightning danced all around me and I was not hurt by it. Finally Mom responded.

_**The secret is us, Sam.**_

Pausing in my running, I concentrated on talking to her. _What do you mean_ us_?_

Mom didn't respond for a moment. _**Think about Jenova, Sammy. She is surrounded by hate, lonely and abandoned. Forever she is hungry, needing. Everything that is of Gaia hates her and cannot be of her. Even her children are Gaia's children.**_

_Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? _I rolled my eyes and kept attacking, slicing away. Blood soaked me but I ignored it.

_**You feel for her children. They too have been hated by all of Gaia, before us.**_

I might've been starting to get it, but I still wasn't sure. A tentacle flew at me, and I held my knife up. It was cut right down the middle, soaking me in its blood and entrails. I didn't care. Maybe my time in the military had been of more use than a monthly check.

_Explain please._

_**You loved Sephiroth and the others, even after learning what they truly were. You are the secret, get it? I could have been, but I didn't love Jenova. I loved the others.**_

_**Now you're her last chance. I won't say anything else.**_

Mom left me to fight, confused and contemplating the riddle she'd given me. I was the secret? She could've been… but she didn't love Jenova? I really didn't get it.

So, while I was thinking, I began fighting again. Two more tentacles came at me, and as I went to get one, someone else cut the other into pieces.

"Kadaj!" I grinned.

"Good to see you sister." He smiled. We continued to fight back to back, cutting apart whatever flew at us.

"Kadaj?" I began, thinking of how to word my question. "Is there something odd about me?"

Laughing, Kadaj stabbed a tentacle into the ground, and it writhed, trapped between the blade and the earth. With a spell he blasted it apart. He was having too much fun. "Oh sister, you are odd beyond compare! Perhaps I simply didn't see enough of your world. But how many people will willingly take in how many strays into their home, feeding them, housing them, and not asking questions?"

Thinking about his meaning, I chopped another one in half. I wished I had magic.

"You're just so… loving I guess." Kadaj finished. Sephiroth's words from earlier came to me.

… _You had an enormous capacity for love._

Finally I understood.

"I was so empty… so alone. And it was my entire fault, but still, I wanted to be with people. Maybe I was afraid… I don't know. But since I was so empty… I filled myself with… people…"

_"Mother's gone." Yazoo murmured. _

_"Its okay" Kadaj lifted his head to his brothers. "We have sister now."_

I smiled, a small tear coming down my cheek. "I understand." I thought I'd decided not to cry anymore but I guess not. "Gaia hates Jenova…"

_She is surrounded by hate…_

I grinned through my tears, not even fighting anymore. "But Earth doesn't."

Kadaj turned to me. "Sam?" Slowly, I was walking away, towards the circle. "Sam!" He tried running after, but the swarm of tentacles separated us. The forms were still coming after me, but I wasn't fighting them. I was using a mental barrier, focusing all of my strength on it, until I could see it. Apparently my mental color was purple, just like my mother's. Or was that because I was in her body? I don't know.

Slowly I came closer to where the circle was, where my mom's body was to be sacrificed to make a new one for Jenova. I could see Jenova there, her spirit, standing within the mass of tentacles and protrusions. Part of me was afraid, but I knew I had to do it. Jenova looked down on me.

**Ready to submit?** She demanded mentally, though her lips were moving.

Chuckling, I nodded. "In a way." Suddenly, a tentacle rushed at me, crushing my barrier in an instant. Thrown back, I almost fell into the ground, but the limb wrapped around me and pulled me back towards her. I was being suffocated she was holding me so hard. The knife was still in my hand, and though my arms were unmovable I could still activate the lightning. But I didn't.

Jenova's hair was fluttering about her, as she began floating into the air. **Ah…** She laughed inside my mind. **Both mother and daughter have lost. How lovely**.

"No!" I muttered, feeling the oxygen leaving me. Closing my eyes, I wandered within… Jenova's consciousness was there, waiting to take over, and my mother was wrapped within her, too weak to fight. "No!" For that one moment I was ready to fight again.

Before I could attack, someone flew down from above. Gunshots rang out, and Jenova dodged them all by use of a barrier. As Vincent barraged her from the front, Cid came from behind her, his spear slicing through the appendages that were attached to the circle. Jenova screamed, just as Sephiroth cut the tentacle holding me to bits. I gulped the air, gasping for breath, as Sephiroth cradled me.

"I want you to go with Vincent." He told me. "I'm going to finish this." I shook my head.

"I have to." I looked up to him. "I'm the only one who can." Immediately Sephiroth looked confused, and defiant.

"Sam…"

"No, listen. It has to be me. I can do it, just trust me." I pleaded. Sephiroth gazed at me for a moment. Then I screamed, as five gaping mouths rushed at us. Jenova attacked more ferociously as she became desperate. Now that my mother was down for the count, the pull Jenova had on my body was excruciating. Sephiroth leapt away, turning around mid spin to attack. He chopped the first one to bits, flipping to avoid an attack, before landing gracefully on his feet. With one hand he blew another one up, and then leapt over the next two flying at him. It was like a dance. But I knew it wasn't the right way.

"Seph just let me try." Sephiroth quirked his eyebrow at the nickname. I didn't flinch. "Please."

"I don't… I don't want to lose you." He admitted. A small pain hit me. I had almost forgotten that I was dead.

"Sephiroth…" What was I supposed to say? You already have lost me? I sighed. "Just let me try. Please."

Finally, he nodded, and told me to hang on. With amazing speed Sephiroth leapt around and over and on top of the tentacles in our way, even as gaping mouths and fiery limbs reached towards us. Quickly he dropped me in front of Jenova. Cid had been knocked down, and was bleeding from the forehead. Vincent ran to him, just as I ran to Jenova.

I was no longer afraid. I was caught up in the moment. Jenova turned to me, and opened her arms, ready to absorb my body and finally be complete.

And I let her do it.

She absorbed me… and my soul. My mind filled hers, and I projected everything… my memories… my feelings… my love for her children and my friends. I filled her to the brim with my love, with everything I felt for Sephiroth, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. How they made me laugh, or cry, how they'd hurt me, and how I'd forgiven them. I felt Jenova's spirit flutter, almost weaken, and she began screaming. I didn't stop.

I filled her with my passion, my sorrow, and most of all, my love… for her.

Without Jenova, I would never have had Sephiroth, or Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. She in a way was my mother. And I loved her.

**NO!**

I thought about everything that had happened to me, from before and after I had met Jenova's sons.

I thought about how Zack had died for me.

I though of how I had helped kill Aeris.

I'd have to tell that to everyone, when all was said and done. It didn't feel right, keeping it a secret. Even as I filled Jenova instead of the other way around, I whispered to the air around me.

"I'm sorry."

A tranquil little laugh came from outside Jenova. _It's okay. I forgive you._

I laughed a little too. "This is so weird. But I am right aren't I? It's working."

_Yes, it is. _

Suddenly, Jenova rejected me, and I flew from her, spiraling through the air. Sephiroth leapt and caught me, and we both crashed into the snow. I immediately sat up to see what was happening.

Jenova was changing, clutching her heart, screaming in agony. The forms around us were wavering, falling, disintegrating. Sephiroth stood and held me, flying away. The others followed our examples. Reno and Rude brought their chopper near the ground to let others jump in, as Vincent grew wings and carried Cid in his arms and Yuffie on his back.

It was all falling apart, falling off the edge into the crater, and falling inward upon its master. Jenova was still screaming, mental waves spiraling outward for miles. Sephiroth and Vincent were unfazed, but the helicopter wavered in its course, as Rude rushed to set it down somewhere safe.

Even though Jenova was still back there, I knew it was over. I'd done well, or so I hope. Burying my head in Sephiroth's chest, I thought…

I thought back to my dead body. The chain in the jacket pocket, the one my mother had given to Aeris… I wondered where the locket was. I felt a warm hand near mine that wasn't Sephiroth's.

_Just look in your pocket. _

I did as I was told. And wouldn't you know? There was something small and metallic sitting within. I waited until Sephiroth landed, near where Rude had set the copter down. Vincent followed after letting Yuffie off his back. Immediately he raced with Cid towards the chopper. As everyone stood by, helping the wounded, watching Jenova's final death, Sephiroth stepped up behind me. From the side, I saw Reeve running up with Jamie and Crystal behind him. Immediately, I backed up behind Sephiroth. They were looking around for my body – I didn't want to shock Jamie this way. He could see mom later.

Sephiroth seemed to understand, blocking me with his tall frame.

The sun was setting behind the enormous mass of Jenova's extremities, as they collapsed and disintegrated. Lifestream was pouring out of them – but it was a different color. It was blue, and shimmering, and as it came close to the planet, Gaia accepted it. Jenova had been forgiven. She was not hated anymore.

Finally, I stopped delaying, and took out the little metal thing in my mother's pocket.

I remembered the locket. Jamie had given it to mom for her birthday when we were nine. She wore it everyday. It had a little heart carved into it, and the heart had wings. It was silver, but rusting. Slowly, reverently, I opened it.

Inside was a picture. It was folded up, tucked inside, and I pulled it out. Once I got a look at it, I remembered vividly what it was. We had just gotten home from the movies, the five of us. The other girl in the picture was my best friend Amy. Jamie's friend had been there, too, his punk rock friend. He was the one taking the picture. Mom was holding us around the shoulders, and Dad was standing behind her. I smiled.

"Thanks" I told her. Seeing the locket felt like a final ending to the story. Except, once I thought about it there was still some mystery.

I still didn't understand how my mother got here, nor did I understand why in the world Cloud had kissed me!

But it didn't matter. Sighing, I felt another presence join the previous one. "Hey, Zack" I muttered. Stunned Sephiroth looked down at me.

"He's here?" Sephiroth asked. I didn't answer his question.

_Lovers, keep on the road you're on  
Runners, until the race is run  
Soldiers, you've got to soldier on  
Sometimes even right is wrong_

Backing away, I sighed again, and looked at him. "Sephiroth… I have to go now." He stared at me. Then he understood.

"No…" He whispered.

From the side I heard conversation, near the helicopter.

"Did you find Sam? Where is she?" My brother pleaded desperately.

"I spoke to her telepathically. But I haven't contacted her since." Vincent explained.

Cloud stepped up. "She's here." Everyone turned their attention to him. He nodded towards my mother's body.

I watched Jamie turn in slow motion, but I didn't back down. Instead, I simply closed my eyes.

_**Tag teaming?**_

_I'm tired. It's your turn._

_**I'll gladly come**__._

My spirit flew out of my mother's body, joining the floating spirits which I could now see. On my left was Zack, and my right, Aeris. I smiled at both of them.

"You did well." Zack murmured. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Really good."

"Yeah" I muttered eyes downcast. Aeris leaned down to look at me.

"You might want to watch this." She said.

I turned to look.

Sephiroth backed away from my mother, who was now in total control. She opened her eyes. My brother, astonished, fell to his knees and cried. "MOM!"

_They are turning my head out  
To see what I'm all about_

Mom was crying too, running to him, and falling on her knees. They embraced the same way I had with mom before. The deepest, darkest parts of my heart lightened, becoming warm. On the other side of mom, Cloud fell to the ground, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. I was beginning to understand

_Maria married soon after and they had a son…_

I smiled. A small tear fell from my cheek.

_Keeping my head down  
to see what it feels like now_

It fell onto Sephiroth's shoulder. Slowly, he turned and looked up. Surely he couldn't see me. But he was looking right at me.

Unable to stand it, I whispered to him. My voice was so weak it trembled. "G – Goodbye."

Before he could say anything, I was gone.

_But I have no doubt  
One day, we are gonna get out_

0-0-0

"Where are we going?"

In one hand, I held Aeris' delicate fingers, and in the other I had the locket. Zack's hand was closed around mine. The three of us were floated up, and up, and up, through the clouds towards the sky. I expected angels, trumpets maybe. I wondered if God was waiting for me…

"Someplace special." Aeris murmured.

"Not heaven. Not exactly." Zack told me. I looked at him.

"Does it exist?" I murmured eyes downcast. The sun was coming through the clouds but it didn't bother me. "Is there a heaven?"

"Maybe." Aeris murmured. "I don't know."

"This isn't really the afterlife. This is like purgatory I guess." Zack turned ahead. "Get ready!" He grinned.

A bright, bluish greenish, starry light came at us suddenly and we were engulfed. It was like being in the dream realm again. Then, I remembered what Aeris had showed me only so long ago. It was the house.

We were in a grassy field at the end of a long path, and there was a rather large house in front of us. Aeris had shown it to me when I first died. There was a sign in the front. I read it once, twice again, just like I had the first time. It still felt so strange to me.

It read, _The Orphanage._

Zack, hands in his pockets, looked down at me. "Gonna go in?" The two were standing outside, waiting for my decision.

"Are you coming with me?"

Aeris shook her head. "Later. You should go explore first, I think."

I was a little nervous, and also confused. The sign had thrown me off. But, I didn't feel afraid… just nervous. So I walked up, slowly, to the wooden fence.

With one last sign, I opened the gate, and walked in.

It was different being inside it. The door was ajar, and a warm light flooded out. It was nighttime here. When I turned around and looked over the fence, Zack and Aeris were not there. It was like a new world. Little candles lit the pathway. So, I followed the lights, and walked towards the door.

"Hello?" I called. I knocked on the door. "Hello?"

Someone walked up and opened the door the rest of the way. "Oh, hello!" It was a tall woman with long brown hair and a warm smile. "Another one!" Reverently she pulled me into a hug. "It's all right, you're home now."

Confused, and a little embarrassed, I pulled away. "What do you mean home?" I asked. "The sign says Orphanage. That's not a home."

The woman looked at me, misunderstanding. Then she just smiled. "Would you like to look around?"

Confused, I blinked. The woman turned and yelled over her shoulder. "Honey!"

Someone came out of a back room, hurrying through what sounded like a lot of mess. "Coming! Coming, sweetheart!" A warm hearted and tired looking older man came through the door. "Oh! Another one, so young!" The man shook his head. "Well you are most welcome here." He shook my hand, and I nervously nodded back.

"Who are you people?" I asked. As if sharing an inside joke they smiled at one another.

"I am Ifalna, and this is my husband, Prof. Gast." I nodded to each of them. I didn't remember their names from the stories my friends had told me but I was sure they had some relevance in the game. Ifalna placed a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"Perhaps you should look around."

"That's what everyone's telling me." I muttered, and the two laughed. Nodding to them, I headed deeper into the house. I was in the kitchen, and beyond the kitchen was a hallway. I walked down it. To the right was a living room, with a pool table, surrounded with beer bottles. To my great surprise, I recognized some of the people in it.

"Aaron! Jack!" Racing in, I hugged the one nearest me, who happened to be Jack. He had a beer and a pool cue in each hand, and was shocked to see me.

"Hey, kid!" Jack grinned, setting his beer down to hug me back. "How the hell'd you get here?" He asked.

"She died." Aaron answered with a smirk.

"No shit, I meant how!" Jack responded. I laughed at them. My mood lifted a little. Backing away, I ran to Aaron and hugged him.

"What happened to you guys? You didn't…" I trailed off.

"It was our second life." Aaron explained. "Eventually, we tired of it. We came here."

"Brian too?" I asked.

"Actually, he's called Braska." Jack told me. "And yeah, him too. We changed our names for your world, but… not so important anymore." I nodded, confused a little. "I'm Jecht."

"Nice to meet you." I grinned, feeling happy that I knew some people. There was someone else in the room at the end of the table, someone I didn't know. I looked at him. "Uh, hi." The man nodded at me. He was tall, and had a machine gun for an arm.

"I'm Dyne. Nice to meet you." The man smiled at me. I smiled back.

"You still haven't told me how you died!" Jecht demanded, taking a swig of his beer. I frowned, not wanting to think about being dead. Aaron placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Later, Jecht." He commanded. "Not now." Jecht finally seemed to understand, and turned back to his game with Dyne. I looked at Aaron.

"What's your real name?" I asked.

"Auron." He told me. For a moment he looked away. "It's not bad here." He told me. "It's peaceful. I like being at peace."

I nodded serenely. "I suppose your life wasn't very peaceful… huh?" Auron shook his head. I wasn't sure what I thought of death so far. Looking to the door, I sighed.

"I think I'm going to go look around more." I told them. Hugging Auron again, I ran off. "I'll see you later."

"See ya kid!"

Laughing, I walked down the hall, further from my friends, further from my heart.

_Tonight maybe we're gonna run  
Dreaming of the Osaka sun_

I heard laughter from somewhere. There was another room, to the left, like a second kitchen. I guess with so many people they would need one. This time, I only glanced in, and I wasn't as surprised to see people I knew.

It was Dyme, and his friends. Lea was eating a sandwich, and Sora was asleep on the couch. Over by the window, with moonlight reflecting on her hair, Namine was drawing Sora, and of course it was beautiful. Dyme and Lea were laughing, having a ball, and Sora slept peacefully. There were others I didn't know, people I supposed were their friends. They were all having a good time.

If this was purgatory, then who needed heaven?

I moved on, walking up the stairs to the next level.

There were many, some I recognized almost immediately. Though I didn't know what had happened to Cloud's mother in the story, I'm sure I saw her there. There was a beautiful blonde woman who looked just like him. Though she didn't have the spiky hair. Maybe it was her husband's genes.

I went up another floor even, finding others still. There was a library, which I immediately entered. It wasn't huge, but it was crammed full. I ran to the back where there was a fireplace, and a chair by the window. Collapsing, I fell into the chair, and curled up.

Dear God.

_I was dead_.

Somehow I didn't want to cry. Like I'd said earlier I was tired of crying. But then a horrible agony filled me. So many of the people I loved… were far away. My family and friends…

Their being alive was good. I was happy. I could probably even live with being dead, waiting for them to join me. It would be a good time, with Zack, and Auron, and Dyme…

What really hurt?

My life was gone. No more weekends with friends. No more jobs, no more work. No getting married. No having children. I died a virgin! As horrible as it sounds, I laughed at that. I died a virgin! Ha.

Suddenly all the things that I'd put off in life, things I didn't like even, they were so precious. And they were gone.

I don't know if a relationship with Sephiroth would've worked out, but now, it no longer had a chance. At all. Somehow I was strong enough not to cry. But it hurt worse than a dagger in the heart.

_Ohh… ohh...  
Dreaming of when the morning comes_

As I sat there wallowing, realizing the extent of what was happening to me, I felt something against my leg. At first I didn't notice it. It was furry, and warm. Finally I sat up and looked down.

A cat was looking up at me.

"Meow" Furball mewed innocently.

"You!" I declared, surprised. Immediately I picked him up and set him in my lap. "Don't tell me you died too!" The cat purred as soon as I pet him. Somehow Furball was a great comfort.

Someone else was entering the room so quietly I didn't notice them at first. The only way I noticed they had entered was an ethereal light, a peaceful, warming light that did not blind you or burn your eyes. It was dim, but so warm and comforting. Once I felt that light on me, I looked up.

The sight I saw was so beautiful, so utterly magnificent I could compare it to only one thing; the day I first saw Zack carrying Sephiroth into my house. Surrounded by this warm light, enveloped in it, the being had long bright blonde hair curling beneath their chin, and bright eyes that were so bright they had no color. They were simply light. The face was perfectly sculpted, like a statue of an angel, and the person wore long white robes down over their feet. This wonderful being, in whose presence I felt so safe, so warm, who was feminine and masculine together, the first thing this being said to me was,

"I apologize for burning down your house."

I blinked. "Come again?"

The being stepped forward, sitting in the chair across from me. "I'm sorry." He/she said again. I still couldn't tell; the voice was strong, yet airy, beautiful and unique. Of course I still didn't understand.

"You… burnt down… my house?"

"It was the only way I knew to get you on the journey." The being told me. "I had to separate you from Earth, to give you the chance to leave."

Frowning, I muttered, "Well, you could've at least given me a warning". The being chuckled.

"Life does not give warnings I'm afraid. There would be much less suffering if there were warnings." I nodded, still not understanding who I was talking to, or why, or what burning down my house had to do with it. This did though make me wonder if Jamie still had the box of my mother's things with him. But I digress.

"Who are you?" I whispered almost afraid to ask. I sat up, Furball still in my lap. He purred and rubbed against my chest. The sight made the being smile.

Then the being looked back at me. "I am an angel."

I should've been surprised. But I think my surprise meter had busted. Nothing surprised me anymore.

"Really…" I wondered. "And you burned down my house."

The angel chuckled. "Perhaps I should start at the beginning."

"That would be helpful." I admitted. The angel laughed again.

"I was not, and am not, your guardian angel. Zack would fit that role better." I smiled at the mention of him.

"So there are guardian angels?"

The angel nodded. "In a way. There are angels who remain on the living planets, protecting the people in general. Only very important people have personal angels." Moving, the angel crossed its legs. "Not heroes, who must learn to protect themselves, or martyrs who must sacrifice themselves. These angels protect those meant to make a difference in the world. People who need a little boost to get started."

"Like me?" I asked. The angel nodded.

"Zack helped you begin your journey. But no, I was not meant for that duty for you." The angel paused reverently. "I was your mother's angel."

That actually did surprise me. And it kinda angered me. "Nice job you did." I commented vehemently.

"It is not our job to keep the person alive, only to guide them. In your mother's case, I took her to Gaia." Curious I kept listening. Furball rolled onto his back. "From there, it was up to her to win the battle."

"And me?" I wondered.

"You were a bit more complicated. I had to lead you to almost every clue, every answer to the mystery. You were quite stubborn."

I frowned. "How so?"

Smirking the angel leaned forward. "You were so ready to give in and cry yourself to sleep that I had to lift you up again." Enraged, I frowned deeper.

"How dare you!" I shouted at it. Furball was surprised, and leapt like I'd poured water on him. "The things I went through… the pain… how could you ridicule that?"

"I'm not." The angel admitted. "But it's true. You have a great capacity for love, and a great capacity for pain. Whatever you do or feel, you do it to the extreme." Once again the angel laughed.

Nodding, I looked down. "So I've done it. I'm dead, Jenova's dead, and it's over."

The angel shook its head. "No, it's not over. Not yet." Standing he/she walked over to where Furball had leapt, and leaned down to pet him. "Jenova has been calmed, and has felt love. But she is not the only member of the Jenova family." Tall once again, the angel waved his hand, and shimmering light floated through the air. It became a portal. Within, I saw my family and friends. They were at a wake. The angel looked at me.

"Time passes differently between worlds. Three days have passed." I looked on, hardly hearing him.

They were in the Ancient City, and my body was on the precipice that Aeris had prayed on. The horrible gaping hole in my chest was covered by my folded hands.

Jamie was sobbing into mom's shoulder. Crystal, eyes red, was letting Loz cry with her nearby. In the back corner, Yazoo was brooding, arms crossed. Cloud was by my mother's side, arm on her shoulder. Sephiroth wasn't even in the area. I saw many others; Vincent turned away, mourning within. Yuffie was crying, though she hadn't known me well. Even Tifa was red eyed.

Then the picture shifted towards the water where Aeris was submerged. There was Sephiroth, knee deep in the water, staring down into its depths. It pained me to see my loved ones this way. All for me…

It was then I noticed the red dog creature. It was the one we'd saved, Zack and me, sitting down near Tifa.

"His name is Nanaki, or Red XIII. The 'dog' you saved is a friend of Cloud's. Nanaki led them to your body."

I turned away. "Turn it off please." The screen disappeared.

For a moment we were both silent. "You said…" I whispered. "You said that it isn't over."

The angel did not answer my question. The angel stood, walking around. "Do you know why this place is called an Orphanage?"

I didn't respond, because I didn't have an answer.

_They are turning my head out  
To see what I'm all about_

Somehow I was sure the angel knew I had no clue. So it began telling me the answer.

"There are places like this all over the plane between worlds. Spirits wander between them, looking for someplace familiar, for friends and family. Often they arrive alone and afraid, lost." The angel paused, looking at me meaningfully. "They come here as orphans of the world, with no mothers, fathers, or family. Only when they arrive do they find a home."

"Here?" I asked.

The angel kneeled next to me, placing a hand on my knee. I felt nervous. "There are more bonds of family than that of blood. Places like these hold families of different kinds. Because you've lost loved ones to death, or simply through time, drifting away, you are not alone. There are always others out there, waiting for you, if only you'll find them." Standing the angel beckoned me to follow. We walked out of the room, Furball trailing us, all the way down the stairs to the first floor.

I heard noise down the hall, the clattering of glass. "They're having dinner." Before we moved on, the angel waved its hand in front of me. "Now, we won't be seen."

Though I didn't know why we had to be invisible I went with it. We walked to the doorway.

The entire table was full of people, and there were all sorts of food placed on it. Ifalna and Gast were on opposite sides of the table, and everyone else was scattered around it. The angel looked at me, then back at the group.

"Miss Ifalna was held with a laboratory as a test subject after her husband was murdered by an opposing scientist." My eyes went bug wide. I glanced back and forth at the two, watching them laugh and enjoy themselves. "She died escaping."

Surprised, I moved forward to see the group better. A test subject? What for?

"After his wife was killed, Lord Braska went on a religious journey to stop a monster that terrorized his world. He and his two friends, Sir Auron and Sir Jecht, died protecting their world. Auron remained behind for ten years as one of the undead, raising his friend's children. Finally, he passed on about two years ago." Once again, I was bug eyed; watching Jecht elbowed Auron in the side as he told a joke. Auron rolled his eyes.

"And the others?" I asked.

The angel crossed its arms, and nodded towards Dyme. "He had his heart stolen by darkness. For years he struggled to get it back, to no avail. I'm surprised his soul made it here. Lea, Sora, and Namine went through similar situations. Those down there", the angel nodded towards a group of six sitting near Dyme and the others. "They willingly gave their hearts to darkness for science. Once they realized their mistake, it was too late."

Now I was really confused. How does one give their heart to darkness? But I didn't ask. I let him continue the stories.

"Dyne is from Gaia. When his hometown was attacked, he lost his arm. Slowly, over time, he went insane. Two years ago Barret fought him, and Dyne jumped off a cliff." The angel paused. "He's Marlene's father."

"Marlene…" The adorable little girl from Seventh Heaven. They did look alike… no wonder Barret was taking care of her.

"You know Zack and Aeris, and all the pain they went through. Beside them is Cloud's mother, killed by Sephiroth years ago." The three sat near each other, telling stories. Zack was so animated, so wild, and friendly.

There were others, but the angel didn't tell their stories. I knew they would be just as sad and painful.

"None of these people have found the spiritual peace needed to find what you call Heaven." The angel smiled. "Somehow, I think they will. Until they find that peace, they will remain at the Orphanage, waiting for people to come and claim them."

"Claim them?"

"Family, friends, and people they loved." I nodded, understanding.

"They're all waiting here." I remembered my thoughts as a child of going to an Orphanage. Then, something else came to me. Something Sephiroth had said when he first met me.

_Zack told me there was a place for us. _

_For people who have absolutely no where else to go, but Hell. He called it the Orphanage._

"So that's were we all go when we die. We become orphans waiting every day for someone to love us. For the people we love to find us."

"You understand." The angel turned to me. Placing a hand on my shoulder the angel transported us outside.

"Now you are ready to return."

I blinked. "Wait… what?"

I was interrupted when the door behind me opened. Zack stepped out, looking around, before running up to me.

"Leaving already?" He asked with a grin.

"I'm dead." I muttered suddenly. Then I looked up. "I am dead right?"

"Yes." The angel murmured. Zack didn't seem to be able to see or hear him, but that of course didn't bother him. "But you can return."

"Why?"

Zack put his hand on my shoulder.

"Sometimes we get second chances. Who knows why; I guess God's more merciful than we've been led to believe."

Smiling, I agreed. "Yeah. Sometimes we're too hard on him." Then I looked at the angel. "So, I'm really going back?"

The angel nodded. "If you wish."

Without a pause I almost shouted, "Yes! Yes!" Zack laughed at me. "I'm not ready to be dead yet!"

"I know." Zack told me. "And you'd better not die again for a long time. I don't want to see you for another sixty or seventy or a hundred years! Maybe more!"

"More?" I was baffled.

Knowingly, Zack winked, and turned to walk back in. "Who knows? Since your old body died you're not immortal right now… but you could be… one day." With one final wave over his shoulder, Zack walked into the house. "See you!"

"Wait!" I almost ran in after him. After a moment he poked his head out of the door. "Will I… will I see you around, down there?"

A knowing twinkle in his eye, the man shrugged. "Who knows?" Then he became serious. "If you get in trouble… I'll be there."

_Keeping my head down  
to see what it feels like now_

Touched, I smiled and nodded. Then he was gone.

"Why me?" I asked. "Zack should get another chance. Or Braska, or Dyme, or Aeris…" My voice grew timid. "I don't deserve it."

"Zack and the others received their second chance. They decided to come here. You see, it is better to wait at the Orphanage to be loved, rather than trying to live without love out there, alone."

"What about Aeris?" I asked.

The angel smiled. "She knew before anyone else that the Orphanage was where she needed to be. She waits here… for those she left behind."

My heart and mind were full. I wanted to ask no more questions. Furball was rubbing against my leg. Kneeling, I scratched his back.

"Take me home. Please."

"As you wish." The angel turned to the gate, and I followed him. Furball mewed and raced after.

"Your old body was destroyed, but I can give you an exact replica of it, right down to the scar you received the first night you spoke to Zack." I remembered that – it hurt. The angel turned to me. "All you need do is return."

"So, how do I do that?"

I noticed that the angel was floating away, drifting off into the clouds. "All you have to do is fall."

Fall. That sounds pleasant.

Sighing, I watched peacefully as the beautiful angel became light; floating far away, back into the clouds where I suppose he/she/it came from. Something ran past my leg. I glanced down in time to see Furball whizzing past, leaping over the clouds, to the angel. In a flash, the cat looked back at me, and winked.

The cat_ winked_. Then it walked into the folds of the angel's white cloaks, and disappeared.

Before I could even ask what that had been, a bright flash blinded me, and both of them were gone.

_Keeping my head down  
to see what it feels like now  
But I have no doubt  
One day the sun will come out_

0-0-0

Even if you are already dead, it is hard to convince yourself to leap off a ledge looking over a thousand mile drop. It is still scary as hell. But I was pretty sure that the angel wanted me to drop down from the sky. I hoped that was what he meant… because if I was wrong, I was about to die… again.

Taking in a deep breath, I took a step forward… and fell.

I tried to scream but couldn't, as I plummeted faster and faster through the clouds towards whatever was below me. I couldn't tell what it was. Eventually, I saw land, grass, trees, all zooming towards me and I was sure I was about to feel pain.

Suddenly, I closed my eyes, and felt nothing.

My head was spinning; as I blinked and tried opening my eyes, I almost threw up. Once my mind calmed down, I opened my eyes and saw that I wasn't a pancake. I was on Gaia; I was alive again.

It was a small room, with two beds against the right wall. The window was open, letting light stream in. I could hear children playing outside. On the walls were pictures, likely drawn by the kids, drawn in crayon. They were likenesses of Cloud, Tifa, and other members of Avalanche, and sometimes of people I didn't recognize. It was serene, peaceful. There was a small table between the beds, and a cell phone rested there. Whose phone, I didn't know.

I had to be in the Seventh Heaven bar that Tifa ran. I was on top of one of the beds, my body sore and tired, and unable to resist, I fell back against the warm covers.

In only hours my life had changed dramatically. I had died, I had found my mother, I had a new father, and I saw the afterlife. Saying I was overwhelmed was a major understatement. Even though I knew my family was out there grieving for me somewhere, I couldn't bring myself to stand up and go to them. I fell back on the bed, ready to sleep it off.

For a moment, I was falling asleep. Then, I heard the pitter patter of footsteps. Was it Marlene, or Denzel? It would be a bad idea for them to find me here. Then I realized; my hand flew to my hair. It was dirty blonde. I was no longer a danger to the kids. Sighing, I felling back on the pillow. I was no longer immortal.

The door creaked open, and I glanced over. A few of the kids were outside, looking in at me, whispering amongst themselves. I smiled, and sat up a little. They were a good distraction for all the insane thoughts swirling around in my head.

They seemed to be arguing about whether to venture in or not. Eventually, they left, still arguing about it. All was quiet for a moment, before the door creaked again. Big blue eyes looked up at me shyly.

The little boy who stumbled through the door could only be barely two years old. He was absolutely adorable. Pudgy cheeks, wide, innocent blue eyes, and blonde hair, fluffy and messy, surrounding his little head. He was wearing pajamas with little yellow chickens on them. As he walked towards me, he stumbled a little, but caught himself. Once he got close to the bed he grabbed at the bed spread, looking up at me. It was like he was asking me to pick him up.

Usually I'm not too found of children, but he was so cute! Cooing at him, I reached down and picked him up. "Hey there" He and I giggled together, as he smiled at me and I laughed at him. Setting him in my lap, I looked down at me, grinning. "What's your name?"

"Zack!"

Surprised, I looked up. The baby cooed and turned to the door. Footsteps pounded down the hallway. "Zack!"

"Hello?" I called out. It was quiet, before the footsteps came towards my room.

The door burst open, and Tifa stood in the doorway.

"S – Samantha?"

So much for rest. Ah, well. I didn't need rest. Smiling to myself, I thought, _I'll have my entire afterlife to rest_.

0-0-0

All I did was follow Tifa out of the room and down the hall, and yet I was suddenly surrounded by people.

"SAM!" Crystal's screech was the first thing I heard, before I was shoved into her breasts when she hugged me. Laughing, I tried pushing her off to no avail. Soon Jamie, my mother, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo joined her, until I was about to die of suffocation. Luckily Tifa had taken little Zack from me, or else he might've been crushed. He was crying; the poor thing was scared because of the noise.

Even as I was squeezed to death, surrounded by tears and laughter, I looked towards Tifa and saw her handing Zack to Cloud. The warmest, softest look covered his face. Zack was thrilled, his crying ceased as soon as he saw Cloud. Lifting the boy, Cloud smiled at him, and the baby chirped happily.

I only saw that small scene before Jamie wrenched me from Crystal and lifted me off the ground.

"I don't know how you're here but if you EVER pull that again I will, I will, I god I will!"

"Will what?" I laughed as he spun me around. Finally he set me down.

"I don't know, but I'll do it, I swear!" We both laughed, until I was pulled into another person's chest. This one was rather hard.

"Goddamn it kid, where the hell have you been?" Cid demanded, crying freely. "Fucking kids just running off all the time, getting themselves killed!" There was a bandage around the man's head from his injury with Jenova.

"Did you really die?" Yuffie asked me through the chaos.

Before I could answer my mother ran up and hugged me again.

"Oh god, oh god, baby!" She crushed me.

"Can we all back up and give the recently dead a breather?" After some insistence, they all backed up, and I had about a foot of fresh air around me. "That's better." Still, I was the center of attention. It was nice to know I was cared about.

So I went ahead and got it over with. "I did die." I told them. No one seemed too surprised by that. "But, I've got a second chance." I explained. One by one, I looked my friends over. I remembered Aeris' request that I tell my friends about the Orphanage.

"It's kinda a long story" I said. "But I'll tell you in a minute! I need to eat!"

Everyone laughed at that, but I was serious. Dying makes you really hungry. Not just for food; for everything.

As the happy, cheerful group started sitting around the different tables in the bar, scooting them closer and a few people headed towards the kitchen, getting orders. Yuffie hugged me again for good measure, saying she was really glad I was back, and then I was double hugged by Crystal and Jamie again. In the middle of all this, I glanced towards the doorway.

Sephiroth stood there, looking in. For a moment he looked at me. Then, he turned and walked out.

"Guys, guys, let go a second." I forced them off, promised I would be back in time for our lunch/dinner, and ran outside.

"Sephiroth!" Perhaps it was a bad idea to shout that into a crowd in Edge. Everyone stared at me but I didn't care. It didn't help anyway. He was already gone, disappeared into thin air.

0-0-0

That night was a blast. Everyone, from the people from Shinra, to the ex Avalanche members, to Kadaj and his brothers got along. It was like we were a giant family, though some of us had been enemies in the past. Somehow, Jenova's final death had alleviated all that pain, all the problems between them. I think the groups had forgiven one another, to an extent. A few people still were edgy to one another, like Cloud and Rufus. Not to mention Vincent would not listen to Reno's drunken rants. Though I thought it was funny.

Once we had a moment to ourselves, Vincent thanked me. "You were right. They understood." Smiling, I looked up at him. "Realizing that Sephiroth is my last link to my past, to the woman I loved, they understood. I am still afraid that I may never know him."

"We both may have lost him now." Sighing, I looked down. Vincent put his clawed hand on my shoulder.

"If my son is anything like me…" He began, "He is not running away. Sephiroth may need time to think, to be alone. So much has changed. This… he may not be ready for." Vincent meant the gathering we were having. Yeah, I couldn't see Sephiroth eating with the group, participating in the drinking games, laughing at the awkwardness between Rude and Tifa. Then again, I was surprised Vincent was here. I told him so.

"After my stunt earlier today, I doubt I'll be allowed to be alone for a while." Vincent muttered. I laughed at him.

"They'll forgive you eventually!"

We parted ways, and I moved towards some of the tables at the back. My mother was sitting there with Cloud and baby Zack. She had him in her lap, bouncing him, playing with him. As I came close, Cloud and mom looked up.

"Hey" I murmured, looking at both of them. Mom smiled, and Cloud nodded. I took a seat next to them.

We were all quiet but for the baby. _Well this isn't awkward_.

"You got married here… didn't you?" I asked quietly. Mom seemed to be the least nervous of us, but she was still a little nervous.

"I did." She admitted. Then she sighed. "The truth is the memories of my past are still hazy. When I saw you, then Jamie… I remembered so much. But I can't remember my husband… at all. I don't know if he's still alive, or what happened to him."

"He died." I explained. "Three years after you."

Somberly, she comforted me, squeezing my hand. "Oh, baby."

"It's okay." I told her quickly. "He was… never much of a dad to me."

Smiling, mom nodded. She looked back at Cloud.

Cloud looked up at me. "Maybe… I'll make a better father."

Hopeful, with butterflies fluttering in my chest, I looked up at him. I smiled a little, nervous. It's just… a daughter's relationship with her father is special. And having Cloud for a father? Jeez! There could be no better person. I remembered when I first met Cloud. Hadn't I compared him to a father, when I called him a hero? I had. Now he was my dad. I felt… safe.

Then my eyes moved to baby Zack.

"He's my brother." I said confidently. Slowly, I touched his little cheeks, and he giggled at me.

Mom smiled. "Half brother." I nodded.

"He looks just like you, Cloud." The baby took hold of my finger, and I grinned. He was so little!

Mom frowned playfully, and Cloud looked sheepish. He put his arm around her, and kissed her cheek.

My mom was married to Cloud.

"Does this mean my last name is Strife?" I asked.

Surprised, my parents looked at one another.

"If you want it to be, sweetheart." Mom told me. I smiled.

"Cool."

From behind me I heard a high pitched squeal of happiness. "I want to be Jamie Strife!" Laughing at my brother I turned to him.

"It's a lot cooler than Wiley, huh!"

He agreed. Our parents laughed at us.

Turning back to the baby, I took hold of little Zack. "Mind if I have a turn?" I asked. "I want to make up for lost time."

As I set Zack in my lap, Mom took hold of my hand. I looked up at her. "Me too." She whispered.

I smiled.

0-0-0

Once all was said and done, I moved in with Tifa, Cloud, and Mom at the Seventh Heaven. Jamie, Crystal, and the three brothers moved in too. It had gotten really crowded, but the kids loved it. They loved watching Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo battle and wrestle, and Jamie was the girl's favorite since he'd play dress up with them. No, he didn't put on dresses! He was being nice okay?

The move in was temporary; I wanted to have a "home base" while I looked for Sephiroth. He hadn't returned that night, or the day after, and though I wanted to believe Vincent was right, I was worried. So, I borrowed my dad's bike, which was SO cool, and took to the road. I was surprised he parted with it. Now that I think about it, he was probably trying to get me to like him. Who wouldn't like Cloud?

Oddly enough, Reno and Rude managed to get time off, and they joined my quest. According to them a young lady shouldn't have to wander the world, alone and unprotected. Others wanted to join me, like Kadaj and my brothers, but I insisted they start their new lives.

Reno and Rude I couldn't fight off though. So, on bikes of their own, we three headed out of Edge.

But before we left, Vincent came to me.

"There's a place I think he might've headed to." He told me. "Look there."

So, with this destination in mind, we left Edge and my new home.

Without the emotional baggage I had had the first time I explored Gaia, I got to know my new home. I was really wishing I had played Final Fantasy VII and now I would never have the chance. Oh well. The three of us had a lot of fun fighting monsters and traveling around, camping out at night.

Eventually we arrived where Vincent told us to look. In case Sephiroth was inside, I told Reno and Rude to wait outside.

I ventured in alone.

0-0-0

It was a cave. I couldn't remember a cave being mentioned in the story. As I walked in, I felt a light similar to the light the angel had been surrounded by. It was soft, and light blue. When I stepped into the cave, I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

There were blue crystals lining the walls of the room, and within one of them was a woman.

"My mother" Sephiroth whispered.

He was standing in the center of the room, tall and regal as always. It was wonderful… seeing him again. I thought back to when we'd first met, being overwhelmed by his beauty. Now I knew that beauty was also inside, beneath those beautiful green eyes, the silken hair… he had a beautiful soul. It was in pain, but so gorgeous.

The old sense of danger was gone. Cloud was right; Sephiroth was becoming his old self. Jenova was gone, and Sephiroth was free. And, he knew the truth. Jenova was not his mother.

I wasn't sure what type of mood Sephiroth was in, so I stayed back, meek, and yet so happy to see him again. I wasn't sure how I felt for him. After all we'd been through, from beginning to end; I had to feel something for him: kinship, friendship… love maybe. It was impossible to tell; my emotions were a whirlwind.

Sephiroth's green eyes were filled to the brim with feeling, emotions I'd hardly seen from him. But he wasn't crying. He simply stared at her, and I thought that was probably what he'd been doing for a long time. Looking at his mother, and thinking.

"Sephiroth?" I finally asked.

"Years ago… I found out I was something other than what I thought." Sephiroth began, dropping his eyes from his mother. "Everything I had been was destroyed." The man turned to me. "Now it has happened again. This woman is my mother. And my father… I don't know."

Quietly, I whispered. "Vincent. Vincent Valentine is your father." I said surely.

"How do you know?" Sephiroth stepped towards me. "It could be either of them. Hojo or Valentine."

Smiling I shook my head. "Vincent loved and cared for your mother, and for you. He's your father." I told him.

Once again, Sephiroth turned away, lost in thought. "You should go talk to him." I offered. "You have a lot to catch up on."

Determined he looked at me again. "So do we."

Now I was nervous. I looked down, almost afraid, not sure of what to say. "I'm sorry."

Blinking, Sephiroth looked down at me. Then he did something I would never forget. He laughed. My head shot up so I could gape at him. Sephiroth was laughing.

"Forgive me…" He ended his laughter. "But what do you have to apologize for?"

Blushing, I shrugged. "I… made you suffer. You thought I was dead, even though I wasn't, and you were in pain."

"I used you!" Sephiroth shouted suddenly. It echoed through the room, echoed in my ears. I was pretty sure I knew what the General meant; how he'd used me during his sleep to kill Aeris, to attack Gaia. His tirade continued. "I erased your memories, left you for dead. I … changed you. I changed you…"

"Stop!" I responded. He quieted down, staring at me intently with his powerful eyes. I didn't back down. "All of that is true."

By the way he was looking at me; Sephiroth was waiting for me to be angry, to shout. "I forgive you."

"Do you… forgive me?"

Sephiroth was smiling slightly. "There's nothing to forgive."

We both stood in each other's presence just reveling in it. Sephiroth reached out and took hold of my hand.

"I want to start again." I told him.

"And what are we starting?" Sephiroth asked coyly. Smirking I continued.

"I want to start our relationship again. Remember you said you'd court me? Until I decided if I wanted to be with you?" The look in his eyes told me he remembered. "I want to start that over."

"So… we are dating?" Sephiroth asked with a smirk.

"Well, I mean, if you want to, cause, uh…" How I had become nervous was a mystery. My feelings were calmed when I felt Sephiroth's lips against mine.

He leaned only a little bit away to speak to me. "Let's leave for a while."

"Leave?" I sputtered laughing. "Leave where?"

"Just leave. Just you and I."

"What about Vincent?" I frowned. "I really want you to speak to him."

"I will." He really sounded sure. "We'll settle all our issues, make up for lost time. But I want to make up for time with you."

Leaning away, I looked up at his pale face, his green eyes.

"Samantha… you were perhaps a bit younger than 18 when I first met you. You were just a pawn, another tool. But as time passed, as I was kept within the realm of dreams and separated from Jenova… I came to care for you. I knew your facial expressions… your different laughs. Your likes, your dislikes. How you always cross your arms when your nervous." Yes, my arms were crossed at this time, and I was blushing. "How you act. Who you are."

"But you don't remember. All those years I have, you don't. I want to make up for that time."

I nodded. "Yeah. But you know, I'm not as behind as you seem to think." Though I was still embarrassed, I winked. "I know how you show your confusion or distress by moving your eyebrows a certain way. Every emotion you try to hide can be seen in your eyes, if you look closely. And I know what you like to eat, and your exercising schedule." I smiled at him and leaned back into his chest. "I know you better than you know."

Chuckling, Sephiroth leaned down and set his head on mine.

"I…" I almost said it. But I bit my tongue.

"What?" He asked.

Looking up, I smiled. "Remind me to tell you once we're ready. I'll tell you then."

Nodding, Sephiroth stepped away. "All right." With one last glance at his mother, Sephiroth took my hand. "Let's go."

We walked out of the cave, and soon I could see Reno and Rude outside. Sephiroth's eyes grew wide. "Is that…?"

"Cloud let me borrow it." Grinning, I swung my hand and his back and forth, like a child. "Wanna drive it?"

Sephiroth looked at me, and smirked so smugly I think I might've drooled.

We raced out of the cave, ran past Rude and Reno, and Sephiroth leapt onto the bike. I jumped behind him, slipping my helmet and goggles on. Sephiroth wasn't going to put either on, but I forced him to. He frowned but put up with it.

"Sam?" Surprised, Rude stood off the bike. Our running by had startled Reno so that he'd leapt up, and fallen back over his bike. He was just standing up again, wobbly, as Sephiroth revved the engine.

"See you there." Sephiroth challenged, before gunning it, and racing down the rode, towards Edge, towards home.

Chuckling, Rude reached for his helmet. "Come on, Reno." Walking past the complaining red head, Rude leapt on the bike.

"Coming, coming!" As Rude began racing off, Reno scurried onto his bike, sliding the helmet onto his head haphazardly. "Start, you freakin hunk o' junk!" Finally his bike revved, and he sped off after Rude, and after Seph and me.

I was laughing, clutching Sephiroth's back, laughing so hard I was crying. Rude was coming up near us from behind, but Reno was way far away. I waved to him, all the way back there, and Sephiroth chuckled.

"Ready?" Sephiroth asked, wanting to know if I wanted to go faster. I turned and wrapped my arms around him tight.

"I'm ready for anything." I whispered.

My life was so confusing, so strange. A video game, come to life? A forgotten past where I'd helped the villain almost destroy the world? God was high when he created my life story. It was an okay life, getting better every day. All the death, the tragedy, the loss, the battles… none of it mattered anymore. I was alive again.

How could I have wasted my old life, mourning for my mother for so long? Letting every day pass, crying myself to sleep? Oh, Jamie, Crystal, forgive me for being a horrible sister and friend. Zack, thank you so much for not letting me die that night I was mugged, for giving me the chance to live again. Whoever you are, Nameless Angel, thank you for bringing me back to life, giving me a third chance to get it right. Even you, Furball, you strange little cat, thank you!

I had another chance with mom… another chance with my brother… and a new father. Seph and I had another chance. Sephiroth… I had another chance to know him. Another chance to… love?

Maybe I would mess up my second chance. Something might happen, someone might die. My friends and I would over time, feel great pain, and great joy. Time would separate the immortals and the mortals. The young would watch the old pass. There would be a lot of good times, and bad. Maybe our lives wouldn't turn out so great.

All we could do was try.

…

_Mom…_

_It's been almost six years, I think._

_I can't remember._

_I lost everything that horrible night, or so I thought._

_But now I realized that something very important survived that night on the bridge._

_Me._

0-0-0

_We live our lives, and our deaths, through memories. As long as we are remembered, we are not dead. As long as those we love are remembered, they are not dead._

Sulhadahne

12:03 AM November 4, 2008

Written for every Final Fantasy Fan, and for everyone who has ever lost a loved one.

Keep an eye out for the epilogue!


	25. Ten Years Later

"… and that's it, I guess."

Sam shrugged and looked down at her companion.

It was a young boy, about twelve, with spiky, blondish hair and vivid blue eyes. He was rather skinny, almost rail thin, and relatively tall for his age. The boy was wide eyed with awe. "Wow! Just… wow! You guys are so cool!"

Laughing, the older woman shook her head. "And here I was afraid of what you'd think. I should've known." She broke into laughter again.

Still enthralled at the thought of it all, the little boy giggled. "My family rocks!"

With one last laugh, Sam ruffled his hair. "Sure does, kiddo."

"Sammy!"

The two looked up when Sams' name was called. A young woman, about 20 or so, was running towards them. The boy grinned and waved.

"Hey, Marlene!"

She glanced at him. "Hi, Zackey." The boy frowned and mumbled, "My name's Zack", but Marlene ignored him. "Vincent wants to see you."

"Me?" Zack asked. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Is your name Sammy?"

Sam ignored their childish conversation. Surprised, she asked Marlene, "He's back in town?" The woman nodded.

"Just last night he showed up at the bar." Marlene smiled. "It was really nice to see him."

Denzel ran up and joined them, his backpack still on his back. "Ready to go?" He looked at Marlene. The girl nodded.

"Yeah." She waved good bye to Sam and Zack. "See you later!" They hurried down the street towards a group of kids their age, who waved and welcomed them. Sam watched them go.

Zack was still pouting. "I wanna see Vincent."

Sam rolled her eyes. "No one said you couldn't. Marlene just said he wanted to talk to me."

"And not me." Zack sighed.

"Oh, you emo child!" She pushed his back, shoving him to his feet. "Come on; we'll go see him now."

Zack cheered. "All right!"

The two started moving through Edge towards Seventh Heaven, and Sam couldn't help but reminisce. After spending the whole morning and part of the afternoon reliving the past with her younger brother, it was hard not to think of memories…

Sam was older now – ten years had passed since she first set foot on Gaia. Even after all that time, her connection to Jenova was still feared. Of course, Jenova had long since passed on, leaving Sam, Sam's mother, and the children of Jenova in peace. They still had the marks – green eyes, silver hair (except for Sam)– but they lived somewhat normal lives at least.

As they walked, Zack reached up and put his hand on Sam's. It warmed her heart, and she let out a soft sigh as she took his hand in hers. So much had happened in ten years, and yet, so little. It had become very peaceful in Edge. Well, as peaceful as Edge can be.

Fifteen minutes later Sam and Zack walked into the Seventh Heaven, and they found more than Vincent waiting for them.

Zack grinned. "Dad!"

Cloud was standing with the tall dark haired man, and at the sight of his son, kneeled. Zack ran into his arms. The blonde warrior didn't look much different after ten years; but then, being a SOLDIER (kind of) sure helped keep the wrinkles away.

And of course, Vincent hadn't aged a day. He looked just as stoic and graceful as he had the first day Sam had met him. Of course, that hadn't been the most graceful of meetings. She'd been flung from a river butt naked when Vincent thought she was committing suicide.

The stoic man smiled a little. "Good afternoon, Samantha."

The blonde smiled. "Hey. It's good to see you." She ran over and hugged him, and he hugged her back slightly. He was warming up… a little.

Now that she hugged him, Sam noticed he wasn't dressed in his usual red cloak. He was in black slacks and a white button up. Sam was surprised.

"New look?" She asked. The man shrugged.

"Perhaps."

Cloud and Zack were talking as well. Actually, it was more like Zack was ranting wildly about the amazing battles Sam had told him about, and his father was listening with a serene smile. Cloud glanced at Sam and winked, and the girl giggled.

Vincent glanced at her. Sam nodded. "Why don't we go someplace and talk?"

As father and son talked, Sam and Vincent went through the back, headed through the kitchen, and walked outside.

Some of the kids were playing there, and they waved at the two. Sam was a common sight, but Vincent was much rarer. Many of the kids leapt up and hugged him or simply said hello. Once they'd moved out of earshot, Sam sat on the ground, and Vincent leaned against the tree.

"You told him about the old days?" Vincent asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. What I know of it at least. And that's not much." She shrugged with a small smile. "I came in when the story was halfway over."

Vincent seemed concerned. "Isn't he… a little young?"

The woman looked away. "He's always known about his father being this great hero, but that's all he knew. And Cloud, Mom, and I agreed that we wanted to be the ones to tell him the truth… not anybody else."

The man understood. "Children at school?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Cloud's pretty well respected, but me? Kadaj? Sephiroth especially. Some of Jenova's blood flows in Zack too, and the other kids like making fun of him. Apparently he's a 'Jenova Germ'."

"How original." The two shared a little laugh about it.

"So… Mom didn't know enough, and Cloud didn't want to relive it. So, I took Zack out for breakfast and told him what I knew."

Sam looked out over the city, at the people passing by. Some recognized her and waved; others recognized her and moved away. The reactions were always different. Usually people would respond to Vincent too, but he wasn't in his usual, familiar garb, so no one recognized him.

"Did you find it?"

Vincent put his hand in his pocket and removed a small disk. "All of his research. Everything Shinra had, and some Shinra didn't know about." He handed it to Sam. "You were right. His poison spreads beyond his death."

Sam frowned darkly. "So there are remnants."

Vincent nodded. "It's taken this long to find them because he hid them so well. The disk shows their locations. If we leave them be, they won't activate. But who knows what will happen in the future. An earthquake? A curious scientist? It's not safe to leave it there."

Sighing, Sam nodded, head in her hands. "I know." She gripped the disk tightly. "The stupid bastard… what was he aiming for?"

"World domination? God like power? Universal knowledge?" Vincent stood and moved away from the street, closer to the bar. Sam followed him with her eyes. "It's all the same with men like him. At least he's dead."

Sam nodded. "So… is that what took so long?" She asked.

Vincent frowned. "What are you asking?"

Standing Sam moved to him. "I'm asking why you haven't been around much in the past few months. You really opened up after we fought Kefka. What happened?"

Vincent looked away. "I…"

"Is it…" Sam moved to stand in front of him. "About Sephiroth?"

Frowning Vincent glanced away, which let Sam know she hit it right on the nose. "It is, huh? What happened?"

Vincent glanced down. "I… I forgot…"

"Yes?"

The man sighed, his red eyes finally meeting Sam's. "I forgot his birthday."

Sam blinked. "That's… that's all?"

Vincent turned away. "Is that what you think?"

"N - No, I just mean, you were acting like someone died or something! You forgot his birthday; is that really all it was?" Sam chuckled.

Insulted the stoic man explained his feelings quickly. "I've been wrapped up in the past, working on this research, trying to find the answers, and I forgot. He's my son. I… I wouldn't even know what to get him anyway. After ten years… I still don't know him."

"Oh, Vinny" Sam cooed. She put her hand on his. When he glanced down, she smiled reassuringly.

"If it helps, Sephiroth forgot his own birthday." The two chuckled. "We had a little celebration, just me, him, and his brothers. If we'd known where you were, we would've invited you." Sam hinted at the fact that Vincent should keep in contact better.

"… I have a cell phone." He muttered.

"One you never answer." Sam complained.

Both sighed. It seemed they were at an impasse.

The woman gave in with a sigh. "You want to know your son?" She asked.

Sam held a hand up and started counting. "Sephiroth loves kung fu movies, he reads anything he can get his hands on, he collects antique weapons, and if you want to get him clothing, he only wears black and leather. I'm trying to break him of that habit." The woman frowned. "You can get him a late present, he won't mind."

Vincent didn't seem cheered up. Sam frowned. "But… you still won't know him, right?"

The man nodded. "What… what should I do?" He looked up at her, forlorn.

Sighing, Sam nodded. "Well for one you can hang around more often. We tried to call and invite you to a pool competition Kadaj was in but you didn't answer. And we all went to see the new Wutai Master movie, you weren't here for that." Sam sighed. "I guess that's my fault. I sent you on this adventure. I could've certainly done it myself."

"You had important reasons for staying." Vincent told her. It was Sam's turn to look forlorn.

"… Nothing's worked." She whispered. "Ten years, and still… no kids."

Sam was close to tears. Vincent hugged her for real, rubbing her back consolingly. "I'm sorry."

"It's… It's not Seph. We had him tested, and he's perfectly capable. So is it me? Am I just infertile?"

Vincent shook his head. "I'm sure you're fine. It must be a complication of Jenova's presence in your body for so long. She may have affected your systems. I'm surprised; actually, that she didn't affect more about your psychical state."

Sam stepped back. "Well, we all know I'm a lot stronger for it. I have all of the speed, strength, and endurance of the others. But she didn't have any negative affects that I know of."

"This could be one." Vincent muttered. "Perhaps, in trying to keep you and Sephiroth apart, she realized she might lose. So she might've tried to make sure that your bloodline would end when you died."

"She… made me infertile?" Sam murmured.

"It's the likely answer."

Grimacing Sam shouted, "Dammit!" The kids nearby looked up, surprised, but Vincent shook his head. They stayed away. Tears were streaming down Sam's cheeks.

The tall man sighed. "You can't have kids, and I hardly know my own child. What a pair we make." He chuckled without amusement.

Drying her eyes, Sam muttered, "So, what about the remnants? Where are they? And how do we deal with them?"

"The same way we deal with any part of Jenova. We kill it." Vincent muttered. "As far as I can see, he took seven pieces and scattered them across the continents. But I only know the locations of three of them."

Sam nodded. "I'll tell the others. I'm sure they'll be gun ho about it. It's not good news… but it might be fun to relive the past." She smiled. "I'm itching for a fight."

She was pretending to be fine, but Vincent knew better. "Samantha…"

"No." She murmured. "There are more important things right now. Like you and Sephy. We've got to set you up on a man date or something. I'd say go hang at the bar, but that's all we ever do… we live there." She chuckled.

Vincent nodded. "All right." They started heading back to Seventh Heaven. When they got closer, they saw Tifa leaning against the doorframe, her hair cut shorter than it had been ten years before. Yet, she looked the same too. Age had nothing on Avalanche, apparently.

"Hey, Tifa" Sam smiled.

"Hey." Over the years, the two women who had been rough to each other at first had become close friends. They confided everything to one another. And Tifa could tell by the look on Sam's face that they needed to talk.

"Vincent, why don't you go on in? We girls need to have a chat." Tifa said, taking Sam's hand. The man nodded, passing behind them into the bar.

0-0-0

The bar was getting crowded as night fell.

The usual customers showed up, from the drunkards to the college students, and then the old group showed up. Cid and Shera and their two youngin's (as Cid would proudly say) were present; the youngest was a little girl with brown hair and blue eyes and all the spunk of her father. The boy was a troublemaker too, but a little more calculative and intelligent than his stubborn sister.

"Uncle Vincent!" Cid's daughter raced right for the tall man as soon as she saw him. The enigmatic one actually smiled.

"Hello, Mara" Vincent greeted. Mara's brother Jacob walked up behind her and waved.

"Hi Vinny" He winked. Vincent cocked an eyebrow.

"Hello" Vincent smirked.

Soon after Reno and his newest girlfriend Sabrina showed up, and somehow he had dragged his ex-boss Rufus along with him. Reno and the other ex-Turks all had new jobs, since the head of Shinra did not need security like in the old days. Shinra itself was so far from what it had been that it was hardly recognizable. Rufus and Reeve were now working together, with Shinra and the WRO dealing with Gaia's problems side by side.

Reno was now a writer for a newspaper, traveling the globe to write stories. He and Rude were no longer partners, but they were still "partners in crime". They even lived together.

Tseng worked with Rufus in the WRO, and Elena had been working there, though recently she'd quit. No one was quite sure where she was working after.

"Yo, hey everybody!" Reno cheered as he walked in, his arm around Sabrina. His eyes lit up when he saw Vincent in the back. "Dude! Hey!" He immediately approached his old friend tripping on himself.

Cloud chuckled, and Zack laughed just because his father had. The little boy was then attacked by Mara and Jacob, and the three began chasing each other around the kitchen.

"Hey! Take that outside!" Cloud told them.

The three kids rushed out the door just as Tifa and Sam came back in.

"Hey Reno!" Sam greeted him as an old friend, which merited a slightly nervous glance from Sabrina. Sam noticed her.

"New lady?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, meet Sabrina. I met her at the Golden Saucer a month ago now." Reno winked at her, and Sabrina held her hand out to shake Sam's.

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure's mine, as long as you can keep this monkey under control." Sam joked, elbowing Reno. "He's one pain in the butt." Those comments seemed to ease Sabrina's nerves, and she laughed.

"I'll do my best."

More people entered, bringing more noise and more family. Bugenhagen and Nanaki appeared, along with Denzel, Marlene and their friends. It was so crowded and loud that no one could hardly hear or speak. At that point, tables were set up out back and the party was extended outside.

It was not a usual event to have so many people over at the Seventh Heaven, especially not the busy people who made up the cast of Final Fantasy VII. This event was a special one, and more people were arriving for it by the hour.

Crystal and Loz, with their seven year old son Leon, showed up next. Leon joined the kids in the back as his mother jumped all over Sam.

"Hiya, Sammy!" Crystal was as lively as ever, if not a little larger from being a mother.

"Hey, Crystal!" Sam laughed, hugging her tight.

Outside, a small, dingy motorcycle drove up to the bar. Cid, who was on the front porch smoking, saw it come up and looked it over.

"You are takin' care of that thing, right?" Cid asked.

The rider, a rather thin man, took off his helmet and revealed auburn hair. "Oh yeah!" Jamie laughed. "I really like this thing! Thanks so much for making it for me!"

Cid shrugged sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah, just don't crash it, cause you'll have to pay for the tune ups." Laughing, Jamie agreed.

"Is everyone here?" Tifa stood on a table in the backyard just as Cid and Jamie joined the party.

"No! No!" Mara shook her head. She began counting on her fingers. "Uncle Kadaj, Uncle Yazoo, and Uncle Sephiroth..."

"Are all present."

The little girl gasped and spun around. "Uncle Sephy!" She raced at him, toppling into his muscular leg. The tall man chuckled, kneeling by the child to hug her.

"Oh, no love for us?" Yazoo asked.

Mara raced to him next, and then to Kadaj. As she did, Sephiroth stood and approached Tifa. "The celebrations may begin."

Nodding, Tifa looked back over the crowd and quieted them again. "Kay guys! The yearly reunion of Avalanche and Shinra and everybody else can begin!"

Long after the tradition had started, the older generation had given up coming with an acronym or nick name for what was essentially a big party of everyone who had once fought against Jenova. The kids had begun to lovingly call it, "Old Foagies Tell Stories" day. On this day, the older generation would tell about all the things of the past.

None of the kids really took this stories seriously. They often disbelieved that their parents could be so cool as to fight evil. It was often too far removed for them to understand. And more often than not, the adults told one or two stories before simply hanging and talking to old friends. Besides, the children were all young, and the stories could wait.

The only childhood who had really been informed of a lot was Zack; the oldest.

He, Mara, Jacob, and Leon were playing in the backyard beyond were the adults were when they all decided to rest on a hill and look at the stars.

"Do you think we'll always do this?" Leon asked, looking at Jacob.

The boy shrugged. "Probly. If we don't the old folks might go delusional or something. They all look forward to this every year."

"We do too." Mara defended.

"That's cause we like hanging out. But we do that all the time." Jacob reasoned. "The adults hang out all the time two. I don't get why today's different."

On the far end, Zack glanced down the line. He seemed a little somber. "Well maybe they wanna remember stuff, so that... so its not forgotten."

Mara sputtered. "That makes sense." The other kids laughed.

Defending himself, Zack sat up. "You know what I mean! They don't want us to forget!"

Still laughing, the other kids looked at him. "Ooh, Zackey's getting all smart and grown up." Jacob joked. Fuming, Zack leaned back down on the hill.

Leon stopped laughing for a moment. "Maybe he's right though. There's gotta be a reason for all the stories."

"Sure. I like hearing about Uncle Cloud and Aunt Tifa and everybody kicking ass." Mara said happily.

"You're not allowed to say that word!" Leon retorted.

"So what? You gonna tell?" Mara looked at him and rolled her eyes.

All this time, Zack remained quiet. The other kids didn't get it. Finally he stood and began walking away.

Mara sat up. "Where're you going?"

Shouting over his shoulder, Zack replied, "None of your business!"

He walked further from the party, and before he disappeared into the city streets he was noticed by one of his many uncles.

"Zack left." Sephiroth murmured to his girlfriend. Sam spun around, and saw that, sure enough, only three children were sitting on the hill, looking up at the stars over the city.

"I'll go get him." She said, but Sephiroth stopped her.

"Allow me." He winked at her. "He is my nephew."

Sam smiled. "Go get em, tiger."

Sephiroth followed Zack's path, and as he left he was watched by three other youngsters.

"You don't think Zack's in trouble?" Leon whispered.

"Of course! Uncle Sephiroth's always the punishment guy!" Jacob told Leon, trying to scare him.

"Shut up, Jake! Uncle Sephy's not that bad!"

Meanwhile, Zack wandered.

It didn't make sense. Why didn't the other kids see it? Why? Why didn't...

He came upon a playground with a little slide. Though he was too old for them, Zack enjoyed playgrounds. Climbing the ladder to the slide, Zack sat at the top and looked down.

Everything Sam had told him had been sinking in for the past few hours. In all the time he and the other kids had been playing at the bar, his mind had been far away. He might've been talking about the fights and the cool parts... but Zack knew the story had a serious meaning too.

"Zachary?"

The boy jumped, turning around suddenly. Sephiroth was standing nearby, leaning against a tree trunk. "Why did you leave the others?"

Since Uncle Sephiroth was the one who always dealt out punishments when the kids were bad, Zack felt a little nervous. But he was pretty sure he wasn't in trouble. So he turned back around.

"I just wanted to be alone."

"To think?"

"Yeah."

Looking down at the ground, Zack contemplated sliding down. He kept thinking about what his father had been through... his mother... his sister... everyone...

"Something is weighing on your mind." Sephiroth noticed.

The boy nodded. "Sam told me all about the whole Jenova thing." He explained.

A pained smirk came to Sephiroth's lips. "Ah."

"Yeah..."

Zack looked down for a second. Then, he glanced back up. "Uncle Seph?"

"Yes?"

"Do... do you think..." Zack bit his lip. Then he just let it out.

"Do you think I can be as strong as my dad?" He asked.

Sephiroth blinked. "Undoubtedly." Zack blinked.

"What?" He asked.

Laughing, Sephiroth shook his head and approached Zack. "Yes. Your mother and your father are both strong. You have a broad family all of whom are willing and able to help you master mental and physical skills. You have the natural talent, the ability, the resources, and most important, you have the will."

Zack looked thrilled. "So... I could do that stuff too? Help protect the world?"

Chuckling Sephiroth nodded again. "I'm sure, one day, you will."

Grinning, Zack felt his heart rise in his chest. "I was worried... after learning about everything you guys did for everybody, and all the stuff you survived..."

"You were afraid you wouldn't be 'made of the same stuff'."

The boy nodded.

Sephiroth put a hand on Zack's shoulder. "Never doubt that you are of three great bloodlines, fused together, and that power is yours to hone."

Zack didn't quite get the last sentence, but he nodded. "Okay."

Sephiroth removed his hand and walked back towards the woods. "Oh, and your sister and I are planning on going to the Chocobo Races this weekend."

The pre teens eyes lit up. "Really?"

Sephiroth nodded. "You'd like to come?"

"Totally!"

"I'll ask your parents." Sephiroth winked. "Hurry back. We don't want the others to worry." Then he disappeared into the woods.

Sitting on the top of the slide, Zack watched his uncle disappear. He was feeling much better. Grinning to himself, Zack looked to the ground, and then let himself slide down.

"Whoh!" He laughed, falling on his bum instead of his feet. He laughed again. As he stood and brushed himself, Zack noticed something in the corner of his eye. There was a pretty white light floating nearby.

Nervous, Zack glanced over. There was a pale form floating in the air.

"Hey, kid." The form spoke with a deep, friendly male voice.

The boy blanched. "H-hi." Zack backed away, nervous.

"Don't be afraid." The shape laughed, coming a little closer. Zack couldn't move. When the shape kneeled near him, Zack could see a masculine face with peaceful, dark eyes.

"Here" Extending his hand, the shape put something in Zack's palm. "This is for your uncle. Can you give it to him for me?"

Looking up, Zack nodded. "B - but who are you?"

Standing, the shape backed away. "Tell your uncle that if he doesn't use it soon, he won't be able to use it at all."

With that, and a flash of light, the shape disappeared. Shocked, Zack jumped away. Then he remembered the item in his hand and looked at it.

It looked like a wind chime, but it was fancy, a pretty silver blue color. Cradling it, Zack looked it over. Then, like he'd just used the Haste spell he high tailed it to the Seventh Heaven.

At the bar, Sam watched Sephiroth come back up the hill. As he did, he waved at Mara, Jacob, and Leon. The three kids seemed surprised that Sephiroth wasn't carrying a crying Zack in his arms.

Once Sephiroth passed by, the three kids leaned close to one another. "Do you think he killed him?" Leon asked.

"Of course not! Aunt Maria would kill him!" Mara whispered.

"Can Aunt Maria really do that?"

"Of course!"

Sephiroth heard all this and chuckled, shaking his head. Sam smiled as he walked up.

"Zack okay?"

"He'll be fine. He needed some cheering up." Delighted, Sam hugged Sephiroth lightly.

"You'd make a great father." She whispered. A small tear trailed out of her eye, not unseen by her partner.

"I will be a father. And you a mother." Sephiroth insisted. "Just wait."

Before anything else could be said, Zack came barreling up the hill, past the other kids, who were giggling.

"I betcha he got scared!" Mara shouted. Zack ignored her.

He raced into the house and found his mother.

"Mom! Mom!"

"What is it baby, what's wrong?"

The boy held out the item in his hand, the wind chime, catching many people's eyes with its shine. Nervous, the boy whispered,

"How many uncles do I have?"

Confused, Maria bent to his level. "What do you mean, sweetie?" By this time, Mara, Leon, and Jacob had run into the house after him.

"I'm supposed to give this to one of my uncles. I've gotta figure out which uncle. How many do I have?"

Mara was counting on her fingers. "There's Uncle Yazoo, Uncle Kadaj, Uncle Sephy, Uncle Cloud, Uncle Vincent, Uncle Reeve..." The girl frowned. "I can't count that high!"

Maria ignored the little girl, gently taking the wind chime in her hand. "Who gave you this, honey?"

Nervous, Zack glanced away, before looking at her again. "I - I think it was Zack."

"What?"

"The other Zack." He whispered. "Dad's friend."

Wide eyed, Maria looked down at the wind chime.

When she moved it, and the metal pieces hit one another, it did not make a sound.

0-0-0

**Wow, the end of a long chapter of my life, so to speak. **

**I really like this story and I'm gonna miss it. BUT eventually there will be a sequel. I'm working on it, but I wanna finish a few other stories first. **

**As for this chapter, I've had it for a while, but my computer died and I couldn't post it till now. Sorry peoples.**

**Hope you enjoy it!~**

**OH! One more thing!**

**I'd like you all to vote on your favorite pairings that you want to appear in the sequel. Or if you don't like a pairing, vote for a change. A few couples I'm thinking of putting into the next story are: SephSam, (of course), LozCrystal, RudeTifa, CidShera, love triangle with RufusElenaReno, RenoOC, and maybe some other stuff.**

**But I need you all to vote on whether you like those above, AND on who Jamie should be with. I want him to have a central relationship in the story. And since he's gay, it'll have to be a yaoi pairing. You could pick most anybody, just tell me why.**

**Thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, I love you guys!**

**SULHADAHNE**


	26. Note from the Author

This story was one of my first ever finished and it means a lot to me. A sequel was planned for, but my life has taken such a turn that I don't know if I'll ever come back to this. I'd love to, I just don't know if I ever will. But keep an eye out, because in the times to come I may decide to complete the next part.

I hope you enjoyed this story!~

SULHADAHNE


	27. 1st Chapter Rewrite and Author's Note

_Hey, guys! Remember when I promised to re-write this story? Well, guess what this is!_

_First, an extensive author's note:_

_1) THIS ACCOUNT WILL HAVE NO NEW STORIES POSTED TO IT. All my stories are being placed upon my personal website, and my new fanfiction account, "tonystarktheautobot"._

_2) ALL STORIES ON THIS ACCOUNT WILL EVENTUALLY BE FINISHED. Most of them are years old, and in an attempt to continue them, I am re-writing them so I can start fresh. These will all be on my new website, a link to which will be in the author's description of both my fanfiction accounts._

_3) I have yet to decide whether I will post the rest of the rewritten chapters of this story solely on my website, or as a new story on my new fanfiction account. If you have an opinion on what I should do, please share, and I'll take it into consideration._

_All of that said, enjoy the rewritten first chapter of 'The Orphanage'._

* * *

When I was a child, I was saved by an angel.

Or at least, so my mother told me. It was a story I heard almost every day of my life, whether in as a small reminder or a family anecdote, or just a way of telling me to be grateful for what I had. Whenever I cried over a scrapped knee or a lost toy, she would remind me of that angel and how lucky I was. Or maybe, it was meant to instill in me a respect and awe for something greater, more wonderful than myself. I don't know why mom kept repeating it. If she were still alive, I'd ask.

Since I was just a kid, I can't remember the close call where I was 'saved'. My mother was the only one who would ever mention it. My brother would get fidgety and nervous, and avoid the subject, while Dad would just blow me off completely. So, being the impressionable child I was, I believed my mother. Maybe I still do.

S,o I was saved by an angel when I was seven, a happy little girl with two parents and an older brother, content as can be. My mom called me Josey Girl back then. I don't know why; my name is Samantha. Another one of those questions I would ask... if I could.

Anyway, that day, my brother and I were playing in the street - which was foolish - and I was almost made a pancake in the middle of the road by an SUV. It was at that moment, my mother would say, that the angel appeared in a flash of light and saved my life, whisking me out of harm's way with his big, bright wings.

Twelve years later, and I still have my mother's words about the incident engraved in my mind.

_"There was this beautiful light, and a strong flap of wings, and next I knew you were in my arms. It was a miracle, Josey girl."_

Mom died seven years later, and Dad had a heart attack not three years after that. They left behind a large, two story house in Georgia, our childhood home, a place of warm hardwood floors and large bay windows, and a staircase where every stair but one creaked at so much as a toe pressed upon it. It was home. But the memories were too much for my brother, who ran away to the big cities and flashing lights to escape mom and dad's ghosts. Whereas I, who knew they would follow me wherever I went, elected to stay.

There are days when the loneliness gets to me. When I'll find myself staring at an old family photograph on the mantle for an hour. When I'm reading and find I've read the same line of text over and over, and I've simply stopped caring. When, in a flash of pain, I scramble awake from a nightmare, covered in sweat, and though I'm trembling and in a panic I almost feel as if there's someone right beside me, holding my hand.

In those times, for just a moment, I believe in mom's story. Those times when I feel the weight of my losses the worst, it's almost as if there's someone there buoying me, keeping me afloat in my darkness. I'd think it were creepy if it didn't bring me such a sense of peace. The house smells of flowers and heartache after those moments, and after they end, only then do I wonder if it's real or if I'm losing my mind.

So, maybe an angel did save my life once.

To my great surprise, I'd soon have my proof - when the angel saved my life again.

* * *

_I wonder what blood tastes like. _ That's the first thought I have when I look down at my trembling, upturned hand, soaked in my own blood. The second thought is that I must be delirious because my thoughts aren't making any sense and I'm shaking head to foot. It occurs to me that the knife in my gut really hurts. I suppose I should remove it, so that's what I try to do once whoever it was who did me in runs off with my purse, wallet, and phone.

My hand takes slick hold of the knife and - "AHH!" - I find it's not so easy to dislodge. In an effort to cause as little damage as possible, I leave it, and struggle to stand back up and move towards the street. There are three signs directing me towards Parsons St. and the edges of my vision are blurred and the struggle to breathe is so sharply painful I'd almost rather stop breathing at all...

Dying is not what I had planned on doing that day, but then, I know well how life rarely goes as planned.

Then, I smell flowers. The air seems lighter, somehow, and that strange comforting presence appears nearby. For a moment I manage a smile and think that at least I won't die alone, until I realize someone is speaking, with a voice like wind and honey.

_Aw, man. One hour off the job, and you're already in trouble._

The blood loss must be more than I imagined; my mind is pulling together delusions of voices and angels to comfort me. I open my mouth to tell my mirage he isn't real, but find myself saying something else in a breathless whisper.

"I'm dying, aren't I?"

_You don't have to._

Of course, my mirage wouldn't be a mirage if it couldn't promise me exactly what I wanted - exactly what is out of reach.

_A friend of mine is going to die. I want him to live. But he's a bit of a_ fallen_ angel._

My eyes are tunnels looking out on a quickly darkening world, and my ears have been stuffed with cotton balls. There's no longer any pain, no sensation at all, just dull nothingness as all my sense leave me.

_If you take care of him, I'll give you a second chance. Who knows; you might like this guy better than me._

This is ridiculous. I'm dying, and all I can find to do with the last minutes of my life is dream up a fairy tale my mother implanted in my mind? Laughing brings new spasms of pain to my chest. "Sure, whatever you s - say." Laughter turns to coughing. "So, what's this... guy's name?" Sleep is crawling over me, dragging me under, and I can't keep my eyes open anymore. Just before I sink under the weight of it all, I hear his voice one last time.

_His name is Sephiroth._

* * *

When I awoke in bed, in my own home, the only thing I could clearly remember was those four words: _His name is Sephiroth._ I sit up in bed, hands scrambling to lift my shirt, revealing a scar that appears months old and not the fresh wound that it is supposed to be. Suddenly I feel light headed, a bubble of nervous laughter escaping my chest. My hand traces the outline of the scar, and I stare dumbfounded, before leaping to my feet and running to the bathroom.

Who the hell is Sephiroth? And why do I feel like I knew the name? And most of all, what the hell is going on?

Once I stumble into the bathroom, I flick the light switch on and pull my shirt up again, and the mirror confirms my original suspicion. A scar, not a wound, which is completely impossible unless... my lost memory has to be larger than I thought. Horror strikes me as I realize months of time must be gone from my mind, because there's no other way the wound could've healed so quickly. A flash of a figure haloed in light appears in my mind and I quickly and viciously shove it away.

My eyes drift away from my scar to my face, to a haggard, tired expression made of blue eyes framed by thick, black bags, and long, thin hair. A sense of emptiness pervades me, fills me to the brim and makes my eyes cold. I wonder if perhaps I am depressed - or if this is what it feels like to lose the presence of an angel.

I'm not sure where that thought came from, so I sweep it aside, and begin removing my clothes to take a shower. As I remove the blood and sweat that's caked on my skin and hair, I wonder if I should feel cleansed or remade. All I feel is an aching desire to go back to sleep. Once I'm done, I step out and dry off, slipping on a baggy grey shirt and black sweats, and step out of the bathroom. I'm still alone in the house, at that point, until I begin walking down the stairs.

That's when I feel it - a sense of warmth and joy filling up my bones and my breath until it's like I could float on air. Eyes widening, I stare shell-shocked at the door where not one, but two perfect beings stand framed in light and beauty. It's unlike anything I've seen upon the earth, too much wonder to truly describe. The door opens for them on its own, and they step inside my house.

One of these alien creatures is being carried by the other: he's battered and bruised, with blood and barely-healed wounds lining his skin. Somehow, the juxtaposition of his injuries and this holy light makes him the more beautiful of the two. His long silver hair shines in the brilliance, and my hand aches to touch him, just to see that he's real.

He's naked, I realize, and the way he's held in the first angel's arms brings to mind the Pieta, and for a moment I truly believe this "fallen angel" is the son of a God. I'm convinced of it.

The angel holding him, on the other hand, is My Angel - I would know that scent of flowers, that soft, warm presence anywhere.

* * *

Silence falls heavily over the room as My Angel steps across the floor. Blood drips onto the hardwood as he approaches the couch. He places the silver-haired angel there, arranging him with gentle care, before standing straight and turning towards me. His eyes meet mine, and suddenly I feel so unworthy, so intimidated and afraid, to be standing in the presence of such loveliness as only myself. Who am I to be here? With disdain, I realize I'm crying.

It's only when his lips press against my forehead, like a parent bidding their child goodnight, that I realize My Angel has crossed the room to me. I give a jolt of surprise, and wipe furiously at my eyes, self conscious and blushing. He merely smiles.

"Take good care of him, all right?" His voice is beyond believing, like music wrapped in wind. As he speaks, he backs away from me, towards the door that's bathed in ethereal light. In that instant, I realize he's leaving, and a thousand questions surge in my mind. What if this is my one chance to speak to an angel - My Angel - who might know anything and everything? Who could tell me about my parents, my mom, if there's a world beyond this one and if they're waiting for me in it?

The question that comes out in all that chaos is, "What's your name?"

Just before he vanishes completely into the light, I catch his response.

"My name is Zack."

* * *

When the light fades away into the orange-red hue of a Georgian sunrise, my sense returns to me and I slump against the railing on the staircase. My legs are giving out on me and I don't fight it, sliding to the step and sitting upon it. 'Shocked' is an understatement. Unbelieving, confused, terrified, and worried for my sanity - all of those would do, and more. My trembling hands reach out and take hold of the bannister, and I try to stand, if only to look at the couch and see if this was all real, or more of my strange imaginings.

So I force myself to stand, using the railing to help until it runs out. Then, I steady myself and somehow, miraculously, manage to make it to the back of the couch before I collapse again. Slowly, I lift my arms and take hold of the armrest, hoping to pull myself up. I hesitate for a moment - terrified of what this might reveal, of what it might mean if this is all real and not a dream -

Despite my misgivings, I pull myself up far enough to lift my eyes over the armrest - and there is my proof, all six feet of him, naked and blood-soaked on my couch. With a squeak I let go of the couch and slump to the floor, shaking and out of my mind.

_Angels aren't real,_ I insist, curling up with my arms around my knees. _It was just a story mom told to me as a kid to make me feel better. Just a story. This can't be real!_

But it is real, and 'Sephiroth' is very real, and the upside of that is, at least I'm not losing my mind.

_I hope._

Forcing myself to stand again, I look over Sephiroth with ever-widening eyes, before grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and tossing it over him. That's all I have in me - I turn and run back up the stairs to my room, slam the door shut and lock it behind me, then collapse against it.

For the first time, I wonder what I've gotten myself into.


End file.
